Advice Needed - Or Serious Kick up the Bum

Discussion in 'Lighter Life Forum' started by louale, 12 May 2009 Social URL.

  1. louale

    louale Silver Member

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    Hey All,

    I've lost almost 4stones on LL and got to week 9 or 10 without lapsing, but then I had a mini lapse and it all went down hill from then.

    I told myself when I started that if I ate a single thing, that would be the end for me, and this kept me going.

    To cut a long story short, I lapsed whilst on holiday and then decided to eat for the rest of the holiday and put on a few llbs, then managed to get back on LL 100% for a couple of weeks, then lapsed again when I went away last week for work. My lapses tend to last a couple of days, but then I binge and tell myself that I am starting again.

    I really want to get back on this 100% and lose another 3stones. I don't have any holidays, work events coming up, although I am moving house (counties), which is a big step for me.

    Does anyone have any words of wisdom for me, or stories of peeps that have managed to get back on track? Any support would help at this stage as I sooooo want to lose the weight.

    Thanks,
    Louale x
     
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  3. pete10141748

    pete10141748 Postaholic

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    It's taken me a few months to 'recover' after a lapse, so I know how you're feeling.

    The only advice I can give you is to take a long hard look at yourself and ask "is this lapse-lose-lapse-lose" a path I want to go down?
    In 6 months time do I want to weight the same as I do now for the sake of eating a few choice things? Do I want to spend time, money and effort on staying (in your case) 3stone heavier than I want to be?

    Writing down your goals, or coming up with new ones can help too :)
     
  4. SexyBecks1

    SexyBecks1 is loving CWP xx

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    Hi Louale,

    I can completely sympathise with you 100%. I made the mistake of having a salad in week 5 which has lead to constant lapsing. I am not proud but I am trying to stick with it as much as I can. I think to myself that if I came off it completely then I would put on all the weight I have lost already.

    I still have days when I want something so badly that I think I will die if I don't have it!!! I am having to get myself thinking more before I act, that is my problem. All my lapses have been in secret. If my OH knew that I had (and quite badly sometimes) he would kill me.

    At the moment, one of my motivations not to lapse is the money factor. I can't afford to lapse. I have hardly any money as it is without spending extra on secret food.

    So this is what I do:

    I would have a word with myself while looking in the mirror. Over 3 stone has made a massive difference so seeing it in the mirror and trying to visualise another 3 stone off helps.

    I look at my weight loss so far. I am now over the halfway point and am on the home stretch. Just a few more months and I will be in a size 12, whichI have not been in since primary school!!

    I try on clothes. I have got so many in different sizes so trying things on that didn't quite fit a couple of weeks ago that now do is a great feeling. I started at a big 22 and am now a small 18 (16 on top yeah!!) Even some 14's are fitting!!

    For the first 14 weeks of LL I took weekly progress pics and fortnightly underwear pics and every so often when I feel down and feel like giving up, I have a look through them. They soon sort me out. I am now doing them both fortnightly (clothed & underwear) so hopefully that will help as there will be a bigger difference.

    I really hope you can get back on it Louale and I am sending you big (((((hugs))))). If there is anything I can help with just PM me.

    Take care x x
     
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  5. daisydoll

    daisydoll Gold Member

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    Hi there
    my developers meeting is full of people who come in every week having eaten.
    I just want to shout at them - what's the point??!!!
    Why spend £66 a week to then spend even more on food as well.

    They may as well be at weight watchers or slimming world as it would be a hell of a lot cheaper and then they could actually eat, which is obviously what they want to do.

    I'm sorry if I sound unsympathetic and i would never really say it to them but I would be saying it to myself it it was me.

    I believe this is a 100% diet. it will work 100% - but only if you do it 100%

    If I lapse i know that will be it - my will power is rubbish and I would never get back on it.

    I really hope you can get your head sorted, and I hope you don't think i'm being mean, but thats what i would need to hear if it were me, not someone being 'nice' to me.

    My LLC talks about planned lapses etc - so everyone in the group lapses most days??

    personally I want to do this once and as quickly as is safely possible. messing about lapsing just isn't an option in my opinion.

    yes I am 'lucky' as i haven't lapsed and so maybe am a bit unsympathetic - consider me the 'kick up the bum' post!

    (((((((((((hugs))))))))))) too, cos i am nice really!

    daisy x
     
  6. Foxtrot

    Foxtrot Is back in the saddle!

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    Ditto Daisy. Get it done as short and as sharp as possible and then get on with your life under control.

    So that's two kick up the bums, which I hand out quite willingly to those who need them!!!

    YOU are in control of this!
     
  7. Minerva

    Minerva ...passing through.

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    Rememeber that the choice to eat or not to eat is entirely in your own hands. No one else is watching, the only person you are doing this diet for is you.
    I always stop myself from a binge by making sure that I know that I have the choice and control over what I do. Even if I start to eat, I very soon stop myself. It is VERY DIFFICULT to pull myself away from an already started binge - but the more I do it, the easier it becomes. It will be a life-long challenge, there are no quick-fixes here.

    You need to sit down and have a talk with yourself. You need to evaluate what your goals are, and take it one step at a time. Make sure you draw up mini-goals since after a period of lapsing it is extremely hard to get back on track because "you've tasted freedom". You are in the mindset of looking at the big picture and getting daunted at the prospect of getting 'locked' into LL for quite a few months again. But you shouldn't think of LL as a prison - if you are then you have not resolved the issues you have with emotional eating. ... I had a break mid-way on abstinence, I went on Holiday (I did LL for 9 months), and getting back was very challenging. But I set myself small goals, concentrate on the small pound losses rather than the stone losses. Make sure you treat yourself at the end of each little goal, with a small trinket, or a new garment from Primark (yay for cheap clothes!).

    Like I said at the beginning of this post, and something I would like you to really properly consider... is that YOU have the power. You have the power to walk away from the kitchen, you have 100% choice NOT to reach your hand out to the food. You can put it down, or throw it in the bin. To throw away the first piece you've picked up will be very difficult. ... but it will get easier. The more you take control over your actions, the more your 'inner-child' will get subdued, because he's ranting and shouting at the moment because you've let him get his own way! And you know how it is... Give him an inch and he'll take a mile ... or however that saying goes.

    :)
     
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  8. slendablenda

    slendablenda Gold Member

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    I don't believe you

    Louale, something is stopping you from keeping on track. You can do it, you know you can, you have already proved it.
    You say "I so want to do it" is that true?
    Prove it.
    Discuss it in your group or with your LLC.
    There must be some underlying reason youare either not saying or not aware of.
    Have you been lighter than this in the recent past? Is the weightor size youare now significant for some reason?
     
  9. louale

    louale Silver Member

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    Thanks for all your responses, some really good tips, which I will take on board.

    Splenda - not sure what you mean? I've lost 3 stones and am now at the size that I have been for some years, after having had 3 children. About 7/8 years ago I was at my idea (healthy weight), then I gave up smoking and put weight on, then had a baby and put a massive amount of weight on. I lost the weight on CD and go down to what I am now, then had my second baby and put on loads of weight again.

    I have now lost 3 stones of it, but need to lose another 3.

    Not sure what you mean about underlying reason that I'm not saying? Not taking offence to your comment, I'm just trying to understand what you mean as you have done amazing and I really do value your input.

    Thanks,
    Louale x
     
  10. Foxtrot

    Foxtrot Is back in the saddle!

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    Some people have a wall they have to climb when they reach a certain size/weight because something happened in their lives at a similar size/weight. These events are usually not nice ones (divorce, death or abuse are some) and are put in the back of our memories until a trigger, in this case weight, brings them to the fore and they have to be confronted. Sometimes the subconscious reaction to it is to eat again to stop you being at the trigger weight and to hide the memories.

    I had one last time I lost weight but I found that spending time focusing on other events at that weight that were good and laying the bad to rest got me through it.

    There is nothing to say you have one of these to confront but you do have to look at all the reasons behind the triggers. That is what the core winning strategy behind Lighter Life is all about.

    This second time around I could have just as easily done CD and saved a packet but I knew LL is where I get the support from for my head too should that which I put to rest wish to wake up again.

    It could be anything but you have to be totally honest with yourself, you are the only one who can get to grips with it all.

    This life is not a rehearsal.
     
  11. louale

    louale Silver Member

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    To be quite honest, I can't think of any particular reason/thing that has happened in my life that has made me throw in the towel when I've got to a certain weight. Not saying that I've not had my 'issues', as I've probably had more than the average person.

    My first lapse happened as I was on holiday and my suitcases never arrive at the airport, and never did arrive. I had 3 day's worth of packs in my handbag and when they had gone, I had no choice but to eat, as I could hardly spend another 7 days with no packs/food. Yes, I did phone my LL counsellor and ask her to send me some, but they arrived the day before I went home.

    My second lapse was due to me leaving my packs in the boot of a car when I was away with work, I only realised when I got back to the hotel, so had to eat. I couldn't call the taxi company as it was a chauffeur that was taking my colleagues and I around Liverpool and not a regular taxi, so I had no way of getting hold of him as we hadn't booked the service ourselves. I left the hotel that evening to find a chemist to try and get some Atkins bars, but was unable to find a chemist that sold them.

    On both occassions, I hadn't planned to lapsed, I had no choice but to eat. Since on both occasions I was away from home for several days, I had to eat breakfast, lunch and dinner for several days.

    I know that I did ask for a kick up the bum, but I just wanted to point this out, as I'm sort of feeling like I've committed a major crime! I only had some food to eat LOL!

    Like everyone that starts LL, I didn't plan to start LL with the intention that I would lapse!

    Louale x
     
  12. daisydoll

    daisydoll Gold Member

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    hi
    sorry if you are feeling a bit picked on - you did ask for a kick up the bum - and you didn't explain there were reasons behind you lapsing.

    What a pain - but as you said you had little choice but to eat food!

    daisy x
     
  13. slendablenda

    slendablenda Gold Member

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    Thanks Foxtrot for explaining what I meant.
    I remember when Pete couldn't have his packs because of the snow. Thought he could have a little food (toast was the culprit I think). He was very positive and thought he'd be straight back on abstinence , but it was a real struggle for him after that.
    I hope you will be able to re- focus Louale. Good luck xx
     
  14. Minerva

    Minerva ...passing through.

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    :) If you're ever caught out with no foodpacks again, stick to pure protein (just plain piece of chicken/fish) and maybe a plain salad (no dressing). That won't kick you out of ketosis.
    x
     
  15. Foxtrot

    Foxtrot Is back in the saddle!

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    That's all right then Louale :D Just helping with the explanations.

    Now your reasons are clear and they were out of your control, the help you need is with the, 'Oh I'll start again next week', mentality. ;)

    I had to have a knee op at the start of my journey this time but all I did was focus on the fact that I had to eat, (they don't do general anesthetics whilst in ketosis). I did a damage limitation process in figuring out what I could have to get me out of ketosis quickly at the last minute, and what I should have after in recovery, like Min said protein and salad. The following day I would be back on track with the packs. It was all focused and worked out in my head and that's exactly how it happened. I was in control.

    I know it sounds daft but talk to yourself and tell yourself what you are going to do about the situation. Be your own LLC!!!:D
     
  16. Blonde Logic

    Blonde Logic Yes. You can.

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    Not daft at all - for me that is one of my most powerful tools, and have many conversations in the mirror. It really does have an impact!
     
  17. lucylastic

    lucylastic Silver Member

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    I had a knee arthroscopy under a general yesterday FT, told the consultant and the nurses and the anaesthatist about LL and they said it's no issue at all! (And I'm here to tell the tale ;))
     
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