Advice needed? Would you be upset by this?

[*Sparkles*]

Ok so I've recently got engaged and have booked my engagement party in November. I'm stressing out as I'm not really a big party lover and always have this fear that no one turns up.

So I was telling my bridesmaid the date and she tells me that this is the same date that she had booked afternoon tea for her bday. I felt horrendous as I had totally forgotten all about it.

She had booked it from 4-6pm and I said I could still come as the party doesn't start till 8pm but she is saying she wants to go out after the tea for drinks. I've tried to compromise and say she she can come along to the party later with fellow 2 mutual friends ( I was hoping their partners would come) but she's now been chatting with said mutual friends and she's set on going clubbing and decided would "drop" in on the party for a short while before heading off.

I feel really hurt by this. I want her there to meet my family and other friends but I understand that this is my f*** up and looks like there isn't much I can do.

Does anyone have any advice on how to reach a compromise? I'm so stressed out by it all

 

[Happy Holidays]

I think you could perhaps go for birthday tea, then to your party & perhaps do the clubbing another night & maybe do it a bit special.

Otherwise you may have to be 'happy' she will 'pop' in.

It's your night & you're the most important person there so enjoy it & don't stress if she isn't there. After you've introduced her to your family how much time would you actually spend with her in the evening, you'd be busy mingling.

 

[*Sparkles*]

I had offered to go to the tea thing but I feel like she's not willing to negotiate. I don't want her or the other 2 girls to be sitting watching the clock all night so they can go off clubbing.

 

[lickthelid]

Tbh if you forgot you may have to forgo her attendance. Putting myself in her shoes I'd be a teeny bit miffed. It may feel like you are railroading her into making her birthday YOUR celebration by bringing mutual friends because your party is 'more important'. I totally get your predicament. Have your party and enjoy it, like the above poster I agree that you may find that your time is taken with family anyway. Go along for the tea and give her her birthday time and then let her celebrate. Otherwise you run the risk of upsetting your bridesmaid and no-one needs that in a wedding photo!! ;D

 

[*Sparkles*]

Thanks for replies guys ... The mutual friends would side with her and do her thing.

Guess I just need to accept this is my mistake and move on.

 

[Happy Holidays]

Guess I just need to accept this is my mistake and move on.

I agree, but in a nice way, once you accept it, it will be easier to cope with, just look forward to enjoying your night.

 

[AnnaFaraday]

All you can do is accept the situation. You can't force people to do what they don't want to do.

But I wonder why you are having this party anyway? It is causing you so much stress, you say you don't like parties and worry about whether people are going to turn up. Do you have to have one at all?

 

[*Sparkles*]

All you can do is accept the situation. You can't force people to do what they don't want to do. But I wonder why you are having this party anyway? It is causing you so much stress, you say you don't like parties and worry about whether people are going to turn up. Do you have to have one at all?

Lol it's not I don't like parties just me being at the centre of it. I'm sure I will be fine on the night xx

 

[*Emsie*]

I'd say she is probably miffed that you forgot her celebrations and I probably would be if it was me too. would be nice if she could come round and come to your party after but as someone else said you can't make her do something.