Alli's 2011 "Head stuff" diet

[LellyCD]

Today has been an OK day. I've really tried to concentrate on listening to my body both before during and after I eat and I have felt quite calm about it all really. I did eat too much dinner - it is just habit to eat until I'm slightly uncomfortable but now I'm quite happy to just sit here with a cup of tea as I'm very aware of my stomach being full. Normally I'd be snacking regardless. There is no way that doing what I'm doing is going to yield fast results but I just can't diet at the moment so at least I'm doing something!

Hey Alli, brilliant approach hun, doing what's best for you is most important and something I kinda of got the knack of back in 2009 and then lost somehwere along the way...this is my goal for the future.
Have a great day hun
x

 

[Greeneyes11]

Hope your listening to your body is still working for you.... I have tried that but I often ignore it, I think CD is the only way to go for me as it is removing food totally..... The pup is gorgeous, we had a chocolate lab quite a few years ago, she was called Jenna.... We have 3 dogs, cocker spaniel, pug and boxer.... all of them are nuts.... ha ha Hope you have a good day today.

 

[herewego]

Linda - nice to hear from you! Hope CD is going well! - Those first couple of weeks are so hard but once you get in the zone it's plain sailing so just stick with it until you reach it.

Yesterday was not a great day. I craved sweets all day and gave in just after lunch time. It was a shame because sitting through it (like Katy did) is such a powerful thing I think - I'm convinced that's how to stop the cravings altogether. I wasn't strong enough - used minor issues as an excuse for eating. Oh well

Today is a new day and the great thing about focussing on eating rather than weight is that there's a new opportunity to succeed around the corner all day long. Every time I choose to wait until I'm hungry to eat I succeed, every time I eat what I really want I succeed and every time I stop when I've had enough I succeed... you get my drift

Focus for today will be to try and pause before giving in to a craving. If I can resist it completely, then great, but just pausing for a few minutes and sitting with the craving will be a step forward so that's my aim!

Hope you all have a great day!

 

[Katycakes]

Love the idea of a new opportunity to succeed being around the corner every minute... YES. Just LOVE it. Have a fab day Alli.

xxx

 

[Greeneyes11]

Have a great day Alli, just think we are not falling if we get straight back on, we are all back here and all determined to lose weight so we are winners.....

 

[herewego]

Oh how things can change in just a day or two!

On Tuesday night I was feeling positive. I'd eaten a bit more than I needed but less than I could have and generally felt that this "head stuff" stuff was going well

I woke up on Wednesday morning feeling great, weighed myself and found that I had lost 2lbs. Now this is the woman who had decided to not focus on weight - Great I thought - This eating "normally" works, I'm going to lose weight in no time....oh no, mustn't think about that...it's not about weight loss, it's about not overeating. In fact I felt so good that I went online and cancelled my WW membership. Don't need it anymore now that I'm "fixed".

Come late afternoon and I've eaten well, when I'm hungry and stopped when I've had enough. On the way home I feel peckish but not hungry. Instead of pausing and thinking it through I put my fingers in my ears, sing loudly to tune out any sane thoughts and pop in to the nearest shop and buy some crisps (low fat so that's OK then!)

I eat the crisps slowly so that somehow makes it better (yoyo dieter's logic in full flow here ) but I start to feel a little guilty.

I get home and the children ask for pudding. I give them a couple of cookies and eat a couple myself - I no longer think! I feel super guilty now and take it out on 7 year old who gets carried away playing chess against himself (he won) and forgets to put PJs & brush his teeth. Hardly the crime of the century and at least he wasn't watching Spongebob or something equally soul destroying. I give him a right earful and he ends up going to bed all upset and so am I.

You can all guess what happened next, right! I eat the rest of the cookies (they came in a bucket so that will tell you something about the quantity. Then I needed something savoury to get the sickly sweet taste in my mouth so I eat some prawn coctail flavoured crisps (from the top of the kitchen cupboards where they've been forever since no one likes that flavour, including me!) before finishing off with my planned soup for dinner...

I go to bed all upset but determined to do better today. This morning I wake up, stand on the scales and I have put 2lbs on again (forget the whole it's not about weight - it blimming is!!). I log on to the computer and quickly send an email to WW begging them to re-activate my account and then for good measures send a text to my CDC saying that I want to come back on CD and does she have an appointment on Saturday morning

WW got back to me this afternoon only too happy to reactivate my account. 5 minutes later my CDC texts me saying she's happy to hear from me and of course I can come on Saturday.

I've gone :silly:. I need some serious help! My head is well and truly stuffed :character00264:

 

[Chelsea Lou]

Aw Alli, I really feel for you honey but do you know what? You've quickly acknowledged what has happened, you've posted it on minis, you've taken steps to take control again by contacting CDC/WW and that is a fabulous achievement. You could have just said "Stuff it" but you didn't. Re-wiring our brains takes practice, practice and more practice until eventually it sinks in. We have all learned our bad habits around food over a period of years and these old habits will not disappear overnight.

Please dont beat yourself up sweetheart, that will only add fuel to the fire. Damage limitation for now until you see your CDC and can feel back in control again. You will do it and you have all of our support. Hugs for Alli x

 

[Katycakes]

Alli, you had a bad day... we have all been there. Please don't be so hard on yourself... it just makes things worse, makes you feel upset with yourself and things escalate...

You stopped the blip, and either WW or CD could be a useful tool but do think hard before you run for the safety of a diet when you don't have too much to lose and have been doing pretty brilliantly with the intuitive eating. If we had blipped (as we do) you'd tell us not to let it push us off course... so I'm thinking you should give the IE a chance and try to stay on course?

If it isn't helping, then WW or CD are still there for you.

Not sure if this is helpful, please ignore if not... whatever you decide, sending a big hug.

xxx

 

[Chelsea Lou]

Alli, you had a bad day... we have all been there. Please don't be so hard on yourself... it just makes things worse, makes you feel upset with yourself and things escalate...

You stopped the blip, and either WW or CD could be a useful tool but do think hard before you run for the safety of a diet when you don't have too much to lose and have been doing pretty brilliantly with the intuitive eating. If we had blipped (as we do) you'd tell us not to let it push us off course... so I'm thinking you should give the IE a chance and try to stay on course?

If it isn't helping, then WW or CD are still there for you.

Not sure if this is helpful, please ignore if not... whatever you decide, sending a big hug.

xxx

Good point Katy, with next to nothing to lose CD would be extreme right? Surely you have to be above a certain BMI to CD? x

 

[herewego]

Thanks girls but don't be fooled by my ticker - I am over healthy BMI so could go back to CD if I wanted to.

I'm OK really - just despairing at the way my mind works and how easily I seem to go from one extreme to another. It's like all logic flies out of the window in the evening and everything gets blown out of all proportions!

I'm not sure what I'm going to do - nothing probably for the next few days. My head needs a rest

I guess, secretly, I'm just terrified of gaining it all back on. I've already put on a stone so what's stopping me put on another and then another etc. It's all well and good telling myself that IE is the answer, but if I don't really believe it deep down what hope have I got.

Enough of the pity party I'm off to catch up on everyone else's diaries - there is a lot of positivity out there, I'll just need to catch some!

 

[Chelsea Lou]

You are more than welcome ;-)

CD does give you the space to sort your head out, thats the advantage of doing it. Good luck on whichever plan you decide on Alli. Wagon still rolling on, with you on it x

 

[Greeneyes11]

You know what Alli, you recognised what you did and you made positive moves to stop it, that is a win in my book. I totally relate from where you are coming from, I have done exactly the same thing since October last year, but often I have fallen big time and not started again. This time I realise I may have hiccups along the way but if each time I climb back on then I am winning..... last week was a really bad week binge wise for me, but this week I am feeling so much more positive, just keep climbing back on with whatever way you choose to lose weight and one day it will just click into place but in the meantime you wont be putting the weight back on, as today healthy eating, you will lose that 2lb again.

 

[Bess]

Alli, just caught up with your diary and I'm so sorry that you have had these struggles, as you say, perhaps a day or two to let things calm down? I really feel for you, as all you describe I have felt and am feeling some of it right now. I think we all have.

I wish I knew the answer, we all must. Perhaps it's just plodding on, but wouldn't it be good to be able to forget about it? To just eat good food to be healthy and stay alive and not have food mean more than that? I loved the initial effect of CD, but against advice, I relaxed 'just' for my daughter's wedding which was the beginning of the slippery slope for me and now I have no confidence left at all......

No ideas, just understanding and support my dear. xx

 

[Bess]

How are you doing Alli? xx

 

[herewego]

How are you doing Alli? xx

I'm fine Bess, thanks! I think I just needed a day off - this dieting and obsessing about food (even if it is IE and trying to figure out the "why's" etc) is so all consuming and it was, quite literally, doing my head in

I have cancelled my CDC appointment but am keeping the WW membership as it's fairly cheap and I am considering whether to go back on it. You can eat quite a lot of food and with the online membership it works out the points for you so not too much thinking is involved. I still want to work on "head stuff" but I'm not in the right place to completely stop dieting.

For all that I love Minimins and this forum in particular, I find that seeing everyone else's weight losses makes it harder for me. I'm delighted that my Mini friends are losing weight but at the same time it is highlighting the fact that I'm not.

We had a lovely walk with Molly today - it was absolutely freezing but sunny and I felt a million times better afterwards. Am going out again in a minute and am not looking forward to it so much. Would much prefer to stay in front of the fire. In all honesty I think Molly feels the same so might just a be a short walk around the village.

Tomorrow we are taking the kids and their friends to a Christmas party :xmastree:
A local charity we work with organised a children's Xmas party last year but it snowed so much they had to cancel it. As all the presents had been bought and the catering was paid for they decided to have it tomorrow. I wonder what the children will make of Father Christmas coming to hand out presents at the end of January.

Right, Molly has now had her head on my keyboard 3 times in the past 2 minutes - I think she is trying to tell me something .

Have a great weekend everyone!

 

[*Shanny*]

Morning Ali i totally understand what you mean about seeing others loose weight, which makes it really hard for you.!

i would say take it day by day stick with WW if it suits u better. CD will always be here if u change your mind, and when u feel as if your back in the zone again.!

happy sunday hun x

 

[LellyCD]

Hey Alli, can so relate to the struggling head stuff, this was me for most of 2010, doing a bit of CD then off in rebellion as my head shouted 'you don't need it, you should be doing better on your own' truth was i had lost my way somewhere and the conflict in my head was 'doing my head in' ! I have begun reading the Beck book (its not a diet but a tool to use while dieting) that can be used with any eating plan, it makes you fess up to your real thoughts about weight and food and gives you techniques to cope with the 'desire' to eat when you're not really hungry and this has been a major part of my problem. the rebel in me had got too strong but now its calming and will be something i can use forever! My goal for getting back to target is important but more important is my goal of learning how to cope with this damn rebel!!

Do what is right for you hunny, don't compare yourself to anyone else as we all have our own issues here and we're all trying to deal with them together... i think the very fact that you are thinking about it is progress in itself...give yourself credit for not ignoring it .
The 'lure' of CD is seductive but if it's not right for you now then do the thing that is right for you, and we're all here together wading through our issues, we can all help each other.
Hug to you hunny, have a great Sunday
xx

 

[curlywurly1234]

Hey Ali,
Just catching up on diaries and just wanted to send you big hugs.. and as you probably know your not alone hon.
The reason why most of us are here is because most of us do exactly what you do.. for whatever reason we do it we all probably do..
You need to be in the right frame of mind to do cwp..
Do a diet which will suit you right now if you feel ww is right for you now then do that.. I believe every diet works if you stick with it its just finding the one that suits!|!
You can do it hon.. Keep your head up high.. you wont put that weight on you have nipped it in the bud and you will lose it!!
sending you lots of positive vibes x

 

[herewego]

Good Morning everyone!!

Just a quick post this morning before it's time to start working. I'm feeling a million times better this morning after having had a "weekend off". I've been pretty careful with food but I have tried to block every diet / food / weight related thought out of my head and it's been lovely. I'm going to carry on with this for a while. I think sometimes there's too much emphasis on thinking our ways out of problems and sometimes it's probably better not to think too much and just get on with it. Certainly for me, thinking just confuses me as I have such conflicting thoughts and so a bit of clear space in my mind is not a bad thing .

Time to get going - lot's to do today and the children need to get going for their breakfast clubs!

Have a great week everyone!!!!

 

[Katycakes]

Glad you're feeling better Alli, I know what you mean with the information overload thing. Then again, at other times my mind feels like a wasteland with tumbleweed blowing through it - need to get a happy medium! I guess the ideal is to retrain your head so healthy eating becomes automatic and the bad habits fad right away... that's my aim, but I have a way to go yet!

Have a lovely Monday.

xxx