Always dissapointed? Can anybody relate?

[Charliesangel09]

Im 20 and have been losing weight for some time now (im 5ft 5) and 8st 10.Although people are always saying 'oh you're so slim' etc.. I still think in my head 'well i could lose another X pounds'

To anybody who has lost a significant amount of weight,are you totally satisfied now or is it never enough?? I wish i could be one of those people who just accepted themselves

 

[Charliesangel09]

Anybody? This is really getting me down

 

[DeliciousBoo]

It obviously isn't a matter of being overweight, it is your confidence. You need to find ways of working on your confidence and boosting yourself esteem. Pop into your local library or have a browse through Amazon and see if they have any books that can help you.
Sorry I can't help you more, but keep you're chin up, you're worth it. x x

 

[JaxieD]

Hi Charlie's Angel,

Please try and see yourself as other people see you - At 8st 10 and 5'5 you are already very slim - I look back when i was your age and although i was about 9 st 7 and 5'4 i was also slim but thought i was fat.

I was never happy and covered up with baggy clothes - i see that as a complete waste of my life when i should've been out enjoying it and getting on with things.

My weight has ruled my life and i wish i could change the past and i wouldn't have been so obsessive. (At nearly 41 i still am:cry

You could be the skinniest person in the world but be the most miserable. People won't remember or like you because you're slim, it's down to who you are.

I know a girl who is completely obsessed with being skinny and she looks awful. When she comes into a room everyone makes a beeline for the door just to get away from her as she is always banging on about how fat she is yet you couldn't even pinch a quarter of an inch never mind an inch. It's such a turn off for people She has no friends or relationships and can only get other women's husbands who are only after one thing. Yet she can't see this.

You're young and slim and be happy with that. Look after your body but enjoy it at the same time. Accept yourself and free yourself of the stress of those weight loss thoughts. They'll only do your head in (like mine has done)

Good luck!

 

[Lady_Amalthea]

I am 5ft 3 and I previously got down to just under 9st. At the time I felt like you do now - that I could still lose more weight. However, I recently came across photos from then and realise that I was slim and did look good. I have since put on weight and weigh more than I ever have before - I'd give anything to look like I did in those pics now!

I haven't met many girls who can 'just accept themselves' - regardless of how fab they look. But you can learn to be a bit more comfortable in your own skin. Like others have mentioned, a self help book could be the thing for you.

 

[Iris]

I feel in absolutely the same boat. I had a vague initial goal when I was very overweight of weighing 10 stone. I thought 'crikey, if I could ever hit 10 stone I would be so happy.' I started off at over 16 stone and never weighed myself while dieting because I knew the journey would take months/years, and I preferred to chart my progress via inches lost. So after a year I was finally out shopping one day in Asda and saw a set of scales in the deserted homeware aisle. My resolve broke and curiosity won out - I made sure no one was looking and quickly hopped on, expecting it to read at least 12 stone. It told me I was 9.5 stone. I was so shocked that I assumed the scales were faulty. So after another couple of weeks I went into Boots and weighed myself there and the scales agreed.

The thing is, I still feel big. I know, rationally, I'm a lot slimmer than I used to be, but I still feel like such a dreadfully obvious lump of a thing so often. Part to do with my height and bone structure, I guess (I have very generous hip bones) but even beyond that, I still don't feel as lithe as I'd like to. So my goal has been adjusted now that I know my weight. I'm very much hoping that when I reach it I will finally feel as slim as I dreamed I would at 10 stone. Somehow I don't know if I will, though... like an above poster said, the issue is more confidence than weight, I think.

 

[judimac]

I would get some one to take some photos of you, then compare them with any you may have of yourself before you lost weight. It may just help to take a step back and see how other people see you rather than looking in the mirror. Also get the tape measure out! I often find that I get more back from measuring myself than looking at the scales. I know that alot of people still go to their old size clothes racks for a while after losing weight, it takes time to realise you're fine.

 

[Charliesangel09]

Thanks everybody for your replies
Thinking about it does make me realise that as long as i am healthy and eat the right foods i will be fine.I know that looking after myself is more important than being stick thin.

Just a thought though, people say being thin doesnt make you happy,then why are so many people convinced it does?

 

[dehli]

A healthy BMI is 18.5 - 25. Anything under 18.5 is underweight and I'd say to Iris that you're possibly anorexic if your goal is 17.2.

 

[Iris]

A healthy BMI is 18.5 - 25. Anything under 18.5 is underweight and I'd say to Iris that you're possibly anorexic if your goal is 17.2.

Everybody's different, BMI has its limitations. It's a formula that was given to us by a mathematician, I think, not a doctor. Expecting one formula to work for all of humanity is a little... absurd, isn't it?

Look at the other end of the spectrum - many athletes find themselves outside 18.5-25, which you've classed as a 'healthy' BMI. Would you tap any of them on the shoulder and say 'excuse me, but you fall outside a healthy BMI range so you're possibly suffering from an eating disorder also known as greed?'

I've met several people with BMIs ranging from 27 to 30 who are in enviably fantastic shape - low bodyfat, strong bones, lean physique. Yes, the BMI is a handy, if lazy, little tool for applying to a broad bulk of people, but surely there's always going to be people at either end who look and feel and operate better outside the magical 18.5-25.

There was a study from the World Cancer Research Fund that indicated that the risks of at least 6 types of cancer were heightened if someone had a BMI that was at the heavier end of the 'healthy' range, as opposed to the lower end. If it was closer to 25, the risk of bowel cancer was raised by 15%, and that of breast cancer by 7%. I'm not saying this should be taken as gospel, but it was detailed research and its conclusions were that occupying the lower end of the bracket carried with it a lower risk of cancer. And I'm not saying that being 'underweight' and outside the 'healthy' bracket is any better for your health than being overweight. I don't know what conclusions the study drew on that, but at 17.2 I'd still be closer to the lower end than someone with an allegedly 'healthy' BMI of 25.

What is it about a higher BMI (even inside 18.5-25) that apparently brings greater health risks with it? Fat? Lifestyle choices? Still much research to be done, I think, but it highlights some of the shortcomings of BMI as a measurement of health.

 

[KD]

To anybody who has lost a significant amount of weight,are you totally satisfied now or is it never enough?? I wish i could be one of those people who just accepted themselves

With how I look weight wise, nope. Don't think I'd ever be satisfied. Fortunately, I'm more concerned with how I feel.

I remember being borderline anorexic in my teens and missed out on so much worrying about my weight.

Of course, I couldn't see it. I thought I looked overweight. I was sure I did.

Even now, many years later and after losing 8 stone, I didn't see it. It's only been recently that I've started to notice, and 'see' myself in my head as slim.

It took me a long time to even realise I had a problem, but when I started CD, I remember asking my counsellor to tell me when to stop, because I knew I had to trust someone else, because I couldn't trust myself to know.

 

[Georgiestar]

I have this problem too, I feel that i need to lose a few pounds, but will it really make much difference, I might not be able to tell I know I just need to focus on having a healthy lifestyle rather than focus on the weight.

 

[KD]

I just need to focus on having a healthy lifestyle rather than focus on the weight.

Wise girl