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Amputation Diet

KD

Gone fishing
#1
Okay....if you are feeling pessimistic on weigh day you may find the following useful;)

Proceedure............................... Estimated Immediate Weight Loss
Clip finger and toenails ........1 ounce maximum
Haircut......................................2-6 ounces
Drastic Haircut / Headshave.....4-12 ounces
Trim Body Hair ........................ 1 oz. (ladies) 3 oz. (men) 24 lbs (Greek men)
Remove a wart ...........................1 oz.
Take a diuretic ........................ 1-3 pounds (temporary)
Take a laxative......................... 1-2 pounds (temporary)
Colon Therapy/Take an Enema ...................2-3 pounds (temporary)
Poop..............................................0-2 pounds (temporary)
Run a marathon on a hot day...3 lbs (women), 5 lbs (men) (temporary)
Amputate your arm ..................10-25 lbs (way too permanent)
Amputate your leg.....................15-45 lbs (again, not advised)
Vascetomy.....................................none.
Take a big pee.............................up to 1.5 pounds
Take a big dump .........................up to 2.5 pounds
Go barefoot .................................1-2 pounds
Go Naked .....................................1-8 pounds (summer vs. winter)
Contact lenses vs. Glasses..........0.3 pounds
No liquids all day .......................1-2 pounds
No food all day ..........................2-3 pounds
No salt all day ............................0-1 pound
Don't wear underwear.............. 1 oz. (thong)-2 lbs. (granny panties)
Exfoliating face wash ................nothin.
Liposuction ...................................10 lbs maximum per surgery
Donate a kidney.............................3 pounds.
Breast Reduction Surgery...........5-15 pounds typically.

Hope that helps someone :D

 
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DQ

Queen of the Damned
#2
How much for a head of extensions?! :rolleyes: :p
 

KD

Gone fishing
#3
Oh! At least 2 stone ;) Don't bother taking them out though. Just tell people that's how much they weigh :D
 
#5
Hi Karion

Really enjoyed reading that, very funny! What's really funny though is the memories it back to me of when I was on a slimming club diet and had a weekly weigh in. I did used to think that way!! Knew it was mad but definitely thought along those lines. Thank fully on this diet I weigh each morning and report my weight weekly to my CDC this is better for me as it takes the pressure off for the weekly weigh in.

I also used to find that after weigh in when the pressure was off I'd eat. So your funny thread reminded me of this behaviour of mine which thankfully is behind me now. Each day on the diet is treated the same.

Funny as it is rang true for me, anyone else!

Dizzy x
 

KD

Gone fishing
#9
Hi Karion

Really enjoyed reading that, very funny! What's really funny though is the memories it back to me of when I was on a slimming club diet and had a weekly weigh in. I did used to think that way!! Knew it was mad but definitely thought along those lines. Thank fully on this diet I weigh each morning and report my weight weekly to my CDC this is better for me as it takes the pressure off for the weekly weigh in.

I also used to find that after weigh in when the pressure was off I'd eat. So your funny thread reminded me of this behaviour of mine which thankfully is behind me now. Each day on the diet is treated the same.

Funny as it is rang true for me, anyone else!

Dizzy x
Oh goodness yes! Me too. I saw a mother of sons friend getting into a car yesterday and I immediately thought 'shes going to a slimming club':confused:

Told the lad that I saw his mother going out and he said that she was going to WW :)

Strange how I knew. The summer dress in the cold pouring rain was a bit of a give away ;)
 
S: 17st4lb C: 16st11lb G: 11st0lb BMI: 43 Loss: 0st7lb(2.89%)
#10
LOL - I was exactly the same!!
Thinnest T-shirt, thinnest trousers, no padded bra, small pants, definitely no thick socks, no jewellry and have a pee just before the weigh-in!! ;)
 


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