realistically.... its in the maths... and I -know- calories in are less than calories burned... so eventually it'll come off. I think its more a headspace thing... I -hate- being this weight more than I hated being 50lbs heavier (wierd, huh) and I also can't imagine being much smaller than this weight... maybe its the chatterbox thing going into self-sabotage mode. Is that wierd? To be finding the actual diet easy, but actually getting lighter the hard part?
I think secretly I like being fat... it keeps you warm in the winter for one thing. And its a protection thing... probably from myself... its nice to always think 'oneday when i'm nine-and-a-half-stone' ... If I *trully* wanted that oneday to be now then I'd have done it. Once you lose weight maybe you have to face the fact that life is still a b*tch and it isnt a magic wand thing.
k, im rambling now... :/
I'm still not cheating though. Not as far as eating more goes. Yesterday I only managed two packs as I forgot to take one to work.... then getting home my legs were aching so much that heading down to the kitchen seemed like a major mission! I really need to work on that... cuz I KNOW its bad, it wont make you lose weight faster, it will mess you up etc, etc. exept now im wondering if thats my way of self-sabotaging. Just as I was writing that a thought ran through my head that if I -can't- get better at having all four i'll have to stop before I make myself ill... Maybe deep down thats why I'm not... like it seems a better excuse 'I had to stop because I was struggling eating all four packs' than 'I had to stop because I have absolutely no willpower'. Or maybe im just lazy making them?
Gawd... now im really rambling.
Pleassse say im not the only one with these wierd thoughts? anyone? If not just ignore!
Drops... good luck with tonight hun! *crosses everything for ya*