ProPoints Azwethinkweiz (Sarah)s new food diary!

Mrsm79 said:
Ah ok, I've never seen dresses that colour before so I just wondered. I know what you mean about fake tan. I had a spray tan done before I went on holiday. It was horrendous at first I looked like I'd been wrestling in mud but when I showered the next day it was lush and I'm a bit addicted now. Your right though it would've gone all over the dress.

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She just saw the colour online and decided to would be a nice colour for a dress for a wedding abroad. She thought dark colours wouldn't suit a holiday type wedding.
Nah I hate fake tan... I hate the smell of it, makes me feel sick. Tried a gradual one before and it made me smell disgusting everyday so I stopped using it and just embraced my pale skin LOL.
Yeah we thought if it was hot and we sweated at all, the tan would be running into the dress eek. Ah well. Will just have to endure the horrid photos. Has made me want to lose more weight seeing those photos.

My Mum is gone insane with the weight loss thing. She hurt her achilles and can't run at the moment and for some reason seems to think that this means she'll pile on the weight. Which is impossible because she hardly eats at all. Porridge for brekkie everyday, soup for lunch and then salad, potatoes & meat/fish for dinner every day. She never eats anything bad or take out food. If she eats a square of chocolate she feels bad about it like? I've told her she's becoming obsessed and she can relax it up a bit but she's insisting she'll pile on weight if she relaxes at all.
Honest to god I'm getting sick of her making snide comments at me all the time. She used to say _I_ was obsessed with dieting just because I was doing WW but in my opinion she's way stricter on herself than WW is on anyone. She looks at me funny if I eat any choc or ice cream or anything like that. Keeps commenting on how big I looked at the wedding and how broad I am or offering me all her "big" clothes as she calls them. I dunno what her problem is these days, she never used to say things like this to me. She's gotten a very big ego recently since she lost weight & it's getting on everyone's nerves (my sisters have brought it up with me about her too). The things she says about herself are just vain in all honesty. Rant over.
 
Oh don't worry hon - I KNOW they are horrid, you don't have to be nice xx
My Mum and my Aunt both told me I look a lot bigger than I am - that it looks like I've put on a stone since the hen night pictures (which I haven't of course). And of course that the colour washes me out and doesn't suit me haha. Lucky they didn't say this on the day or I might've cried all over the place ;)

I like black... I would've picked a black dress HAHA :p
 
Sarah the dresses looked fab.. You don't look huge by any means.. But I understand what you mean...
The colour I think is fab... But as yer Mam said a tan is needed.. And knowing that u n yer sister don't "do" fake tan, yer other sister shud hav really thought of a diff colour... U still looked stunning tho :) xx
 
I look huge and washed out and ugly.
Photographer has to photoshop my tooth aswell (I need a crown & the temporary is a bit discoloured now) so it doesn't "ruin" the photos. I couldn't afford to get it fixed in time. Feel like I shouldn't have been a bridesmaid at all... Just not good enough. Honestly, things like this just give me more reasons to hate myself.

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azwethinkweiz said:
I look huge and washed out and ugly.
Photographer has to photoshop my tooth aswell (I need a crown & the temporary is a bit discoloured now) so it doesn't "ruin" the photos. I couldn't afford to get it fixed in time. Feel like I shouldn't have been a bridesmaid at all... Just not good enough. Honestly, things like this just give me more reasons to hate myself.

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Grrrrr Sarah you look lovely. I think that style of dress really suited you your hair looked fab too.

I know how you feel about dresses, dressing up, photos etc because I feel exactly the same. When I got married it took me months to find a dress and I hated it. I went and got my hair curled and put up in a funky style to take the emphasis off 'the dress' I have the worst phobia in the world about flying and I experienced the exact same feelings I get when I get on a plane knowing I would be photographed and looked at and that's why we had such a low key wedding. No traditional wedding dress no photographer, only 8 people and they look a few photos but I look at the photos every day because Ralph wanted them out on display and I feel sick when I look at them.

I can guarantee you that no one thinks anything bad about you on those photos atall!!!!!!!

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Mrsm79 said:
Grrrrr Sarah you look lovely. I think that style of dress really suited you your hair looked fab too.

I know how you feel about dresses, dressing up, photos etc because I feel exactly the same. When I got married it took me months to find a dress and I hated it. I went and got my hair curled and put up in a funky style to take the emphasis off 'the dress' I have the worst phobia in the world about flying and I experienced the exact same feelings I get when I get on a plane knowing I would be photographed and looked at and that's why we had such a low key wedding. No traditional wedding dress no photographer, only 8 people and they look a few photos but I look at the photos every day because Ralph wanted them out on display and I feel sick when I look at them.

I can guarantee you that no one thinks anything bad about you on those photos atall!!!!!!!

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See you're too lovely to say anything like what my mum would say. She's been very harsh on me lately and it's really getting me down now. I feel terrible about myself all the time.
I'm the same as you about photos, find it hard... Looking at photos today with my sister (she's back from honeymoon) really upset me. I feel like I'm ruining the photo if that makes sense?

If I ever get married (which I doubt) I would be very low key too, couldn't handle a big wedding with people looking at me.

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The reason I've not said anything like your mum may have said is because its just not true and sometimes people can't see further than the end of their nose. They don't sit back and take in the whole of what's actually in front of them.

You look stunning in the photos not ugly not fat just bloody gorgeous:)
 
Thanks Tracy, you're always very kind to me - appreciate it xxx

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Ohhhhhh sarah I wrote a long reply last night n it's not bleeding sent !! Ile try rem Wat I sed n re reply xxxx
 
*Claire-Bear* said:
Ohhhhhh sarah I wrote a long reply last night n it's not bleeding sent !! Ile try rem Wat I sed n re reply xxxx
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Lol thanks hon xx

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Thanks Sinead, you're too nice x

I did a 21km cycle today... The exercise is back ON! :)

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Basically Wat I was saying is I suspect your mum has an eating disorder, I can notice traits that I had .... Digging at ppl purely coz they are jealous that they can treat themselves n still feel ok ... Whereas ppl with ed's cant allow themselves treats because its something thats becoming out of their control, teasing themselves with treats coz they have that control over something. Ppl with ed's are so self obsessed with themselves .. Everyone around them Is forgotten and insults are made because the person who the ed victim is speaking to appears normal n the ed victim is jealous of their lifestyle. Hopefully your mum will see the light soon, but I honestly think she makes these horrid comments to you because she is jealous of your laid back attitude to weightloss. Xxxxx
 
*Claire-Bear* said:
Basically Wat I was saying is I suspect your mum has an eating disorder, I can notice traits that I had .... Digging at ppl purely coz they are jealous that they can treat themselves n still feel ok ... Whereas ppl with ed's cant allow themselves treats because its something thats becoming out of their control, teasing themselves with treats coz they have that control over something. Ppl with ed's are so self obsessed with themselves .. Everyone around them Is forgotten and insults are made because the person who the ed victim is speaking to appears normal n the ed victim is jealous of their lifestyle. Hopefully your mum will see the light soon, but I honestly think she makes these horrid comments to you because she is jealous of your laid back attitude to weightloss. Xxxxx
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That's what I was thinking too because she's become overly obsessed with food and what she's eating. Sometimes she tries to push food on me that I dont want (today she tried to push me into eating a big fry up even though I'd already had my belvita & tea!). I want her to be healthy of course but she's worrying too much. She thinks because she can't run that she'll gain tons of weight. We ended up going for a cycle yesterday (even though I had a migraine) and we did 18.5km & then she made us turn around and go back out to get up to 21km (13 miles). Insane like.
I'm just going to have to try to brush off the comments and stuff and try to encourage her to eat more and let herself calm down a bit around food.
Thanks hon xx

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well done on the cycle, amazing 21km go you :)
hope u get things sorted with your mum on the food and comments. its hard when loved ones are rude but it does sound like what claire bear said is true.
 
azwethinkweiz said:
That's what I was thinking too because she's become overly obsessed with food and what she's eating. Sometimes she tries to push food on me that I dont want (today she tried to push me into eating a big fry up even though I'd already had my belvita & tea!). I want her to be healthy of course but she's worrying too much. She thinks because she can't run that she'll gain tons of weight. We ended up going for a cycle yesterday (even though I had a migraine) and we did 18.5km & then she made us turn around and go back out to get up to 21km (13 miles). Insane like.
I'm just going to have to try to brush off the comments and stuff and try to encourage her to eat more and let herself calm down a bit around food.
Thanks hon xx

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Wen I was I'll I suddenly became obsessed with cooking food for my family .. I'd cook food with high cals and bake cakes then make sure everyone are loads ... Anorexics do this because

a) they like to test themselves .. Cooking food to show them self they can avoid any kind of food

b) it takes attention away from their lack of food

C) knowing others are eating more than them makes them feel in control

Try not to worry, some of these issues iron out .. But deffo ignore the comments, if your mum is ill she won't realise she's doin it ! Just show her how good living by a normal diet day by day is perfectly fine :) anyone with eating issues needs to realise they have an issue before they can be told, they take offence If confronted .. I'm here if you need help Hun xxxxx
 
*Claire-Bear* said:
Wen I was I'll I suddenly became obsessed with cooking food for my family .. I'd cook food with high cals and bake cakes then make sure everyone are loads ... Anorexics do this because

a) they like to test themselves .. Cooking food to show them self they can avoid any kind of food

b) it takes attention away from their lack of food

C) knowing others are eating more than them makes them feel in control

Try not to worry, some of these issues iron out .. But deffo ignore the comments, if your mum is ill she won't realise she's doin it ! Just show her how good living by a normal diet day by day is perfectly fine :) anyone with eating issues needs to realise they have an issue before they can be told, they take offence If confronted .. I'm here if you need help Hun xxxxx
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Ah I see... That makes sense now thanks hon! We went for a 5mile walk earlier and had a chat and I just explained I wanted her to be healthy and not feel too bad about treats here and there when she's trying to maintain her weight. She does lots of exercise and still worries about a biccie here or there like... When she doesn't need to at all. She's hurt her achilles so she can't run and won't believe me when I say walking burns lots of calories too. She enjoyed the cycling yesterday at least.
She seems to be ok today which is good. X

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