Barb's slow but steady improvement diary!
- Thread starter Barb
- Start date
abz
Gold Member
keep it up barbs. every now and again it would hit me before doing cd how important our bodies are. and how miraculous they are. and there i was treating it so badly. i think it's really important for us to think about our bodies as something we treat with care and attention. of course i kept forgetting what i promised myself and that's how i ended up on cd. stick at it!! you can do it barb. you deserve to treat yourself well 
abz xx
abz xx
Barb
Gold Member
Thanks Abz, you are always so positive and caring.
I'm in a funny old patch at the moment and could do with some help really.
Home life is very busy, 3 kids still at home (one moving out any minute!) and so all the usual 'housewife' stuff to do. Work is manic, just had some really bad news business wise , so very, very stressful. Literally not enough hours in the day to complete all the stuff I need to do. Very elderly parents, who cope well but need lots of input, which I am constantly struggling to give them. I'm 50 years old this weekend - party planned but do not have the right frame of mind for it!
Finally, seriously overweight and I let it colour my life all the time. Trouble is I can't seem to get my head in gear and keep it there.
It feels like I am a juggler and I am desperately trying to keep the plates spinning but one or more is always about to fall.
So, I know the answer really I suppose, it's to keep on keeping on, I just wish I could cut myself some slack and stop going on at myself.
I am so critical of my efforts; always telling myself I look a mess and that if I made an effort I would be thinner etc.......
I would just like some time out, some time to just accept me as a work in progress. Can I do that? Is it possible?
I'm in a funny old patch at the moment and could do with some help really.
Home life is very busy, 3 kids still at home (one moving out any minute!) and so all the usual 'housewife' stuff to do. Work is manic, just had some really bad news business wise , so very, very stressful. Literally not enough hours in the day to complete all the stuff I need to do. Very elderly parents, who cope well but need lots of input, which I am constantly struggling to give them. I'm 50 years old this weekend - party planned but do not have the right frame of mind for it!
Finally, seriously overweight and I let it colour my life all the time. Trouble is I can't seem to get my head in gear and keep it there.
It feels like I am a juggler and I am desperately trying to keep the plates spinning but one or more is always about to fall.
So, I know the answer really I suppose, it's to keep on keeping on, I just wish I could cut myself some slack and stop going on at myself.
I am so critical of my efforts; always telling myself I look a mess and that if I made an effort I would be thinner etc.......
I would just like some time out, some time to just accept me as a work in progress. Can I do that? Is it possible?
abz
Gold Member
i think it's important to have a little time for you every day barb. whether it's a bubble bath with the phone on silent and the door locked or the time you take to create new and wonderful dishes with your healthy food. it doesn't have to be long. an hour or so. it would create a small oasis of peace for you where you don't have to worry about anything other than keeping yourself well and healthy. the one plate you can't drop is the looking after yourself plate. grabbing something crappy to eat, something unhealthy and fast is the way we all ended up on this forum. and much as i delight in all the new friends i've made, i'd rather have made them in other ways
an hour isn't long. anyone who can't find an hour for themselves needs to let somebody else take up the slack occasionally. maybe this is you barb? do you take on everything or do you have people who could help you occasionally? you aren't asking for a month away, just a little extra time...
abz xx
an hour isn't long. anyone who can't find an hour for themselves needs to let somebody else take up the slack occasionally. maybe this is you barb? do you take on everything or do you have people who could help you occasionally? you aren't asking for a month away, just a little extra time...
abz xx
Barb
Gold Member
Thanks Abz, very well put - as always. Yes, I am sure there must be a way to make more time for myself, after all I managed to go on holiday. Trouble is, I feel like i have been paying for it ever since I got back! It is tricky, I'm a 'do-er' not a watcher and although I am no saint, I know I am not very good at adressing my needs. I need to get better as the stress I am under is, IMO, doing me more harm than the weight I am carrying.
I need to change, I just don't know where to start.
I need to change, I just don't know where to start.
abz
Gold Member
with something small hon. have a bubble bath, or sit and do a sudoku, or watch corrie, or whatever it is that you enjoy doing. and do it without interruption. just that small slice of time will help you to wind down and take on the world. and it will be something to look forward to each day. spend it looking for amazing dishes you can cook for yourself with the healthy grub you are buying. go on a walk to help your health. go salsa dancing anything. as long as it is something that YOU want to do, something you aren't doing for somebody else. that's the main thing
abz xx
anything. as long as it is something that YOU want to do, something you aren't doing for somebody else. that's the main thing abz xx
Barb
Gold Member
Abz, I know it should be easy, arguably I am at least having this conversation with you which is all about ME! It's just that I feel like there is always this huge list of stuff that needs doing and I am so tired. I was awake from 3am this morning worrying about work stuff (it's our own business, I'm not completely mental!), I kept trying to shut my head up but I was going in circles. Then today I am just knackered, not surprising.
I will try Abz and i so appreciate you supporting me and coming up with ideas for me. I hate to be so negative, I just feel swamped. I'd like to be brighter but I can't be.
I'm sure it will pass, I know I am so lucky really, so I feel bad about being down.
Perhaps when the weekend comes and my birthday is here I will feel more full of fun and less like a grumpy old bat!
I will try Abz and i so appreciate you supporting me and coming up with ideas for me. I hate to be so negative, I just feel swamped. I'd like to be brighter but I can't be.
I'm sure it will pass, I know I am so lucky really, so I feel bad about being down.
Perhaps when the weekend comes and my birthday is here I will feel more full of fun and less like a grumpy old bat!
abz
Gold Member
you aren't a grumpy old bat barb. and you are perfectly right. talking about it is stage one. take deep breaths. that's stage two
maybe if you start with ten minutes. listen to a song you like. go for a short walk. read a couple of pages of a book. sing to yourself. whatever you feel like doing. something to distract your brain. i was in a state like this last summer and found that those herbal kalms tablets worked. think it's kalms rather than calms... they don't dope you up but they stop you running around in circles a bit more. once you start spending time on you barb, it will get easier
abz xx
maybe if you start with ten minutes. listen to a song you like. go for a short walk. read a couple of pages of a book. sing to yourself. whatever you feel like doing. something to distract your brain. i was in a state like this last summer and found that those herbal kalms tablets worked. think it's kalms rather than calms... they don't dope you up but they stop you running around in circles a bit more. once you start spending time on you barb, it will get easier
abz xx
Hi Barb,
Just reading your posts I can see that you really do have a lot going on just now and finding time for oneself and putting your own needs first is not easy and does not come natural for the majority of women as women of our age have been brought up to put our own needs last.
Looking after elderly parents can be both rewarding and at times can be demanding as you do have to be on call twenty four seven, that is reality for most of us who are the main caretakers.
Sorry to hear you are having trouble with your business just now and I do hope everything works out well, it is definitely trying times for everyone...
Sometimes it can help to write a list in order of importance of what you can do now to help move things forward and overcome some of the immediate difficulties and put near the bottom of your list those things that can wait that bit longer.
Also, taking some time out and taking yourself away to a different environment for a couple of hours can help to refocus the mind and helps things to appear much clearer, so instead of guilty about it see it as a means to improving performance and adding value to your day.
To get to 50 is a major achievement in itself not to mention rearing a family and running your own business.
Try and delegate as much of the work load to others as possible, give family members responsibility to look after some of the tasks that need to be done, you do not have to do everything.... and for this week give yourself a break from thinking about diet.
We are all a work in progress, don't think that ever stops, taking time out and seeing to our own needs means we value ourselves and by example we teach our children how to do the same!
Love Mini xxx
Just reading your posts I can see that you really do have a lot going on just now and finding time for oneself and putting your own needs first is not easy and does not come natural for the majority of women as women of our age have been brought up to put our own needs last.
Looking after elderly parents can be both rewarding and at times can be demanding as you do have to be on call twenty four seven, that is reality for most of us who are the main caretakers.
Sorry to hear you are having trouble with your business just now and I do hope everything works out well, it is definitely trying times for everyone...
Sometimes it can help to write a list in order of importance of what you can do now to help move things forward and overcome some of the immediate difficulties and put near the bottom of your list those things that can wait that bit longer.
Also, taking some time out and taking yourself away to a different environment for a couple of hours can help to refocus the mind and helps things to appear much clearer, so instead of guilty about it see it as a means to improving performance and adding value to your day.
To get to 50 is a major achievement in itself not to mention rearing a family and running your own business.
Try and delegate as much of the work load to others as possible, give family members responsibility to look after some of the tasks that need to be done, you do not have to do everything.... and for this week give yourself a break from thinking about diet.
We are all a work in progress, don't think that ever stops, taking time out and seeing to our own needs means we value ourselves and by example we teach our children how to do the same!
Love Mini xxx
Barb
Gold Member
Thanks Mini - I can hear that you understand what's going on with me at the moment. All your advice is good and i will do my best to follow it - I too am a great believer in lists so will definately try with that one.
I know everyone is in a tight spot business wise, it's really just the timing. Although is there ever a good time to be losing money hand over fist? No, probably not.
I had a better sleep last night and that has helped. I do think a lot of my problems are linked to exhaustion. I need some totally quiet 'me' time and after my brithday (which is all about me anyway!) I will look at ways to salavge some peace for myself.
With lots of love to you and to dear Abz
I know everyone is in a tight spot business wise, it's really just the timing. Although is there ever a good time to be losing money hand over fist? No, probably not.
I had a better sleep last night and that has helped. I do think a lot of my problems are linked to exhaustion. I need some totally quiet 'me' time and after my brithday (which is all about me anyway!) I will look at ways to salavge some peace for myself.
With lots of love to you and to dear Abz
Barb
Gold Member
Thanks Irene and Mini and Abz, I do appreciate your help.
Well, it is now the day after my 50th birthday. I ahd a wonderful time, fab party, amazing presents, some which made me cry - I'm a soppy old Barb at times! All in all it was great. Have even managed to lose 2lbs this week so I am very happy with that.
I have 3 weeks now till I go to New York with my daughters. I'd like to focus on staying healthy and dropping another couple of pounds if I can. No pressure, just tweaking (which I think is working!).
Well, it is now the day after my 50th birthday. I ahd a wonderful time, fab party, amazing presents, some which made me cry - I'm a soppy old Barb at times! All in all it was great. Have even managed to lose 2lbs this week so I am very happy with that.
I have 3 weeks now till I go to New York with my daughters. I'd like to focus on staying healthy and dropping another couple of pounds if I can. No pressure, just tweaking (which I think is working!).
Barb
Gold Member
Yep, definately birthday ones - almost all gone now, which is a good thing. I just find them tricky to resist if they are sitting there looking at me!
Had a lovely roast lamb dinner last night - loads of veggies and potatoes 'roasted' in my actifry. Still think it's the best kitchen gadget ever. The potatoes are golden and crispy and just a teaspoon of oil amongst the lot! Had a glass of wine with dinner but no more - the house is still full of birthday champers etc.. but it won't go off, so i'll have some when I really want it, not for the sake of it. Feeling more positive and hope that another few lbs will drop off by New York time!
Had a lovely roast lamb dinner last night - loads of veggies and potatoes 'roasted' in my actifry. Still think it's the best kitchen gadget ever. The potatoes are golden and crispy and just a teaspoon of oil amongst the lot! Had a glass of wine with dinner but no more - the house is still full of birthday champers etc.. but it won't go off, so i'll have some when I really want it, not for the sake of it. Feeling more positive and hope that another few lbs will drop off by New York time!
Barb
Gold Member
A good day yesterday - finished the birthday chocs; glad, as they were just tempting me and making me want them! Made a nice dinner and had to much wine with it! Dammit! Naughty Barb. However had been for a long walk (up hilly bits too!) and generally been quite physical, so thats pleasing.
I'm getting there; I just think if I can lose even a lb a month in 5 years I will be the weight I would like! Now I know 5 years is a long time but it would still be a lot faster than so far! After all, I've been trying on and off for 35 years on the 'all or nothing' route and it does not work. No, tweak, tweak, thats got to do it in the end.
I'm getting there; I just think if I can lose even a lb a month in 5 years I will be the weight I would like! Now I know 5 years is a long time but it would still be a lot faster than so far! After all, I've been trying on and off for 35 years on the 'all or nothing' route and it does not work. No, tweak, tweak, thats got to do it in the end.
