Big Boys Need Love Too!
- Thread starter Martyn
- Start date
Gemstone
Here for the Journey
:character00238: Good morning everyone :character00238:
My lumie lamp has not been working since the beginning of November so I am waking up in the dark
I am really missing my lamp and my gentle wake up on a dark morning, none the least of which because OH snaps a harsh light on at 5.25 in the morning I am not sure what is wrong with the lamp as even the clock part of it is not lighting up - it's completely dead. I may have to send it for repair (loadsa money) as a new one is up around £100 (ouch!)
I'm hoping for a good day at school today but I know we're gonna be short staffed due to sickness so we'll see. There was a kick-off yesterday and there will probably be a few negative vibes left over from that to deal with plus the work outside school that we do.
:character00238: Have a good day everyone :character00238:
My lumie lamp has not been working since the beginning of November so I am waking up in the dark
I am really missing my lamp and my gentle wake up on a dark morning, none the least of which because OH snaps a harsh light on at 5.25 in the morning I am not sure what is wrong with the lamp as even the clock part of it is not lighting up - it's completely dead. I may have to send it for repair (loadsa money) as a new one is up around £100 (ouch!) I'm hoping for a good day at school today but I know we're gonna be short staffed due to sickness so we'll see. There was a kick-off yesterday and there will probably be a few negative vibes left over from that to deal with plus the work outside school that we do.
:character00238: Have a good day everyone :character00238:
abz
Gold Member
good morning chaps. am feeling a bit less grumpy and sad today. it is a new day as they say and i have coffee filtering into my system
i'm really looking forward to our meet now. only a week and a half
i also got an email from my aunty this morning confirming they were coming up on sunday. i'd totally forgotten that we'd invited them.oops. so i'm going to have to organise that and they mentioned going somewhere for lunch. hmm. so i think i'll make something rather than us going out somewhere and that way i can have some chicken and a tiny bit of lettuce or something. an ss+ meal basically while they have theirs as restaurants are always a bit dubious and more expensive anyways.
so i'm working late tonight. 1-11pm. and the same again tomorrow. i'm going to be shattered. have been awake since 6, then reading my book, wicked, which is awesome so far, about three quarters of the way through it now, and then peruselling on here a wee bit.
hope everyone is having a nice morning?
tyn, are you feeling better? i felt a bit dodgy when thomas first moved in as my ex was veggi so i ate very little meat and then a dane moved in with me.... they don't know how to eat things without meat in. i've managed to tone it down a wee bit since then, but a sandwich isn't a sandwich unless it has a meat product in it. bizarre!! like a cheese salad sandwich would be sniffed at. but a cheese and ham sandwich is perfectly acceptable. i find that so odd. i would prefer cheese and salad to plain old cheese and ham. anyhoo. waffle over. are you managing to stay fairly healthy?
as for the snapshot food diary. mine wouldn't be very interesting at the moment, ha. but it would be a very good way of learning portion sizes. it's like i see myself in the mirror and i think i look much better than i do on photographs!! my eyes deceive!! it's harder for a photo to lie...
abz xx
i'm really looking forward to our meet now. only a week and a half
i also got an email from my aunty this morning confirming they were coming up on sunday. i'd totally forgotten that we'd invited them.oops. so i'm going to have to organise that
and they mentioned going somewhere for lunch. hmm. so i think i'll make something rather than us going out somewhere and that way i can have some chicken and a tiny bit of lettuce or something. an ss+ meal basically while they have theirs as restaurants are always a bit dubious and more expensive anyways.so i'm working late tonight. 1-11pm. and the same again tomorrow. i'm going to be shattered. have been awake since 6, then reading my book, wicked, which is awesome so far, about three quarters of the way through it now, and then peruselling on here a wee bit.
hope everyone is having a nice morning?
tyn, are you feeling better? i felt a bit dodgy when thomas first moved in as my ex was veggi so i ate very little meat and then a dane moved in with me.... they don't know how to eat things without meat in. i've managed to tone it down a wee bit since then, but a sandwich isn't a sandwich unless it has a meat product in it. bizarre!! like a cheese salad sandwich would be sniffed at. but a cheese and ham sandwich is perfectly acceptable. i find that so odd. i would prefer cheese and salad to plain old cheese and ham. anyhoo. waffle over. are you managing to stay fairly healthy?
as for the snapshot food diary. mine wouldn't be very interesting at the moment, ha. but it would be a very good way of learning portion sizes. it's like i see myself in the mirror and i think i look much better than i do on photographs!! my eyes deceive!! it's harder for a photo to lie...
abz xx
Fattyfattyboomboom
Silver Member
Hey all,
Abz...it's like that in the states too. I remeber when I first came here and I saw cheese and onion sandwich. I was like...."where is the meat!" YUK!!!" Never heard of cheese and pickle....but now I love them. My favourite is cheese and mushrooms....MMMMM!!!!
Well I do have some bad news...I can't make the 29th now. My son has to go and get his rubella shot done, so I will be in cambridge. Really sorry. I mean if I am going to be in the car for a long time I would rather it be to see you guys! But see I didn't want my son to have the MMR as I personally felt it was unsafe. So I pay for him to have the shot individually done, but the clinic is only in cambridge ever 6 weeks or so, I need to take him. Unluckily he only needs two more, but then I will have to do it all over again with the new baby!aaaahhhhh!!! I used to drive to peterborough but since we don't see the friends who live there anyway there is no point.
BTW wanted to ask y'all's opnion about something. See i have a mate who i used to work with years ago. It used to be just her and I in the office and we were really really close. She was a bit older than me, but we got on like a house on fire. I mean when you spend 40+ hours a week in an office with one person you get to know them pretty well. She was my boss, but she never made me feel like that. We told each other our deep dark secrets, hopes and desires...as you do with your mates. We trusted each other with everything, and held no walls up. Anyway, I moved away down here some 8 almost 9 years ago. Now I had always made sure that we still talked, emailed when we could but we always had each others phone numbers, so we could keep on contact and talked once a week or so. But as things happen over time, the gaps between speaking became longer. A about 5 years ago I went to york, where she lives, with my husband for a weekend visit. It was great to see her and she got a chance to see me after we were "comfortable" monitarially from our business. And it was a great weekend. We still talked once a month or so and then it got more 3 months or so between speaking. I knew she was busy and so was I, but I have always made time for my family and friends, even though I am thousands of miles away. Anyway, I would send her texts and not hear from her for a week or so after, but then over time we would send the odd one here and there. Anyway, I had my son and she seemed happy for us. She had always been around to talk to when things were up and down or just up or just down, she was great, and she couldn't have been happier when I got PG. Well we still had our gaps in talking but we still talked ( which was 90% initiated by me). Well just before my son's 1st birthday someone stole my phone and I lost her number. I got a new phone with the same number, but no way of contacting her as I didn't have the number written down anywhere. I wait 1 year and never got a text, but did get 1 christmas card from her but no address on it. So I couldn't respond. The following year I got no card and hadn't hear from her. So I paniced, as no matter what i always got a card. So I went through my stuff and happened to find her address. I had been trying to get a hold of her for over 1.5 years by that point and had heard nothing...I thought she was dead. After searching the internet with not a lot of luck I finally (after paying) realised she was on the electoral role at her home address that last year so SHE MUST BE ALIVE, I thought. So I sent her a letter, explaining to her that I hadn't heard, I was worried, thought she was dead and could she at least txt me, and let me know she was ok even if she didn't want to speak to me for some weird reason. Anyway, I still after a month heard nothing. I gave her my full address, 2 emails, my mobile , both house phone numbers and my husband number too. But still I heard nothing. So I remember that she was a driving instructor, I knew where she lived but not sure of the company name, after much tracing, I was able to track her and her mobile number down. I called and left 3 messages. But it took her 5 days to call me. Then she said she got the letter but just had been too busy to repond. But that she was fine and that we really needed to have a catch up and things. SO she called me a few days later we had a bit of an update and then that was it. We have talked once since the new year ( last) , We have sent a few txts but she rarely responds, or says she is just too busy or tired to talked but that she will get back to me soon. I just feel really bad, like I am some kind of freak. I tried to be a good friend, but I think I deserve better. I was planning on sending her a letter, informing her that it would be the last time she hears from me, as I feel she obviously doesn't vaule my friendship, and I deserve better friends than she has shown herself to be in the last few years. And the way she treated me especially over the letter was appauling. I do wish her happiness, but if she treats all her mates like that...she will be a very lonely woman!
What do you think? I am sure I should have gotten the hint maybe? Or was I too hopeful?
Abz...it's like that in the states too. I remeber when I first came here and I saw cheese and onion sandwich. I was like...."where is the meat!" YUK!!!" Never heard of cheese and pickle....but now I love them. My favourite is cheese and mushrooms....MMMMM!!!!
Well I do have some bad news...I can't make the 29th now. My son has to go and get his rubella shot done, so I will be in cambridge. Really sorry. I mean if I am going to be in the car for a long time I would rather it be to see you guys! But see I didn't want my son to have the MMR as I personally felt it was unsafe. So I pay for him to have the shot individually done, but the clinic is only in cambridge ever 6 weeks or so, I need to take him. Unluckily he only needs two more, but then I will have to do it all over again with the new baby!aaaahhhhh!!! I used to drive to peterborough but since we don't see the friends who live there anyway there is no point.
BTW wanted to ask y'all's opnion about something. See i have a mate who i used to work with years ago. It used to be just her and I in the office and we were really really close. She was a bit older than me, but we got on like a house on fire. I mean when you spend 40+ hours a week in an office with one person you get to know them pretty well. She was my boss, but she never made me feel like that. We told each other our deep dark secrets, hopes and desires...as you do with your mates. We trusted each other with everything, and held no walls up. Anyway, I moved away down here some 8 almost 9 years ago. Now I had always made sure that we still talked, emailed when we could but we always had each others phone numbers, so we could keep on contact and talked once a week or so. But as things happen over time, the gaps between speaking became longer. A about 5 years ago I went to york, where she lives, with my husband for a weekend visit. It was great to see her and she got a chance to see me after we were "comfortable" monitarially from our business. And it was a great weekend. We still talked once a month or so and then it got more 3 months or so between speaking. I knew she was busy and so was I, but I have always made time for my family and friends, even though I am thousands of miles away. Anyway, I would send her texts and not hear from her for a week or so after, but then over time we would send the odd one here and there. Anyway, I had my son and she seemed happy for us. She had always been around to talk to when things were up and down or just up or just down, she was great, and she couldn't have been happier when I got PG. Well we still had our gaps in talking but we still talked ( which was 90% initiated by me). Well just before my son's 1st birthday someone stole my phone and I lost her number. I got a new phone with the same number, but no way of contacting her as I didn't have the number written down anywhere. I wait 1 year and never got a text, but did get 1 christmas card from her but no address on it. So I couldn't respond. The following year I got no card and hadn't hear from her. So I paniced, as no matter what i always got a card. So I went through my stuff and happened to find her address. I had been trying to get a hold of her for over 1.5 years by that point and had heard nothing...I thought she was dead. After searching the internet with not a lot of luck I finally (after paying) realised she was on the electoral role at her home address that last year so SHE MUST BE ALIVE, I thought. So I sent her a letter, explaining to her that I hadn't heard, I was worried, thought she was dead and could she at least txt me, and let me know she was ok even if she didn't want to speak to me for some weird reason. Anyway, I still after a month heard nothing. I gave her my full address, 2 emails, my mobile , both house phone numbers and my husband number too. But still I heard nothing. So I remember that she was a driving instructor, I knew where she lived but not sure of the company name, after much tracing, I was able to track her and her mobile number down. I called and left 3 messages. But it took her 5 days to call me. Then she said she got the letter but just had been too busy to repond. But that she was fine and that we really needed to have a catch up and things. SO she called me a few days later we had a bit of an update and then that was it. We have talked once since the new year ( last) , We have sent a few txts but she rarely responds, or says she is just too busy or tired to talked but that she will get back to me soon. I just feel really bad, like I am some kind of freak. I tried to be a good friend, but I think I deserve better. I was planning on sending her a letter, informing her that it would be the last time she hears from me, as I feel she obviously doesn't vaule my friendship, and I deserve better friends than she has shown herself to be in the last few years. And the way she treated me especially over the letter was appauling. I do wish her happiness, but if she treats all her mates like that...she will be a very lonely woman!
What do you think? I am sure I should have gotten the hint maybe? Or was I too hopeful?
elle2585
8 t whole wheel of cheese
hmmm...interesting. well, i suppose it's quite hard to keep in touch with people - you're obviously very good at it. i'm absolutely rubbish. i think about my friends a lot but when it comes to contacting them i always forget or leave it till later and rarely get it done. I suppose it depends how you feel. Your options are to go along at this slow steady pace and just end up more "acquaintances", to stop completely, or to stop completely AND send her a letter. I'm not sure what i'd do to be honest, since i'd probably forget to get in touch back lol!
It's SUCH ashame you won't be at the meet, I was really looking forward to seeing you and your family!! Never mind, another time. Rather your son than me, I was so terrified of my jabs i remember them TO THIS DAY. And you have them done when you're pretty young so for it to stick in my memory it obviously means something haha. x
It's SUCH ashame you won't be at the meet, I was really looking forward to seeing you and your family!! Never mind, another time. Rather your son than me, I was so terrified of my jabs i remember them TO THIS DAY. And you have them done when you're pretty young so for it to stick in my memory it obviously means something haha. x
Fattyfattyboomboom
Silver Member
You know though elle, I would say years ago, year it was hard to keep track of your mates and keep up contact, but these days if you can't take 2 minutes to even send a text, then you know what...maybe you don't deserve the friend. I mean I wrote a letter saying just send me something so I know you aren't dead. ANYTHING!! If someone did that to me. i would contact them that day to reassure them i was fine. I just think that is terrible and a horrible way to act to somone whom you considered at one point to be a best friend. I know people have busy lives, but if you can't make a few minutes up then what kind of friend can you be? IMO! I don't ALWAYS have time to phone everyone, but I always try andd drop a quick email just to let them know that you are thinking of them. I like all my friends to know how very much I care for them, and vaule their friendship, as much as I can, because you know what...I might not be here to tomorrow, I would not like to think that the people close to me didn't know how much they mean to me, If I weren't around anymore. I try at least once a month to call my family and cousins and people close. My mother I speak to at least 3-4 times a week so, she always knows what is going on.
But I just think, friendship can't be one sided, I feel if she can't be "arsed" to make some effort , than you know what? She doesn't deserve a friend like me who actually cares for her. It will be a shame, but I guess that is how life goes.
But I just think, friendship can't be one sided, I feel if she can't be "arsed" to make some effort , than you know what? She doesn't deserve a friend like me who actually cares for her. It will be a shame, but I guess that is how life goes.
Martyn
The Place To Be!
I am with Elle, i am stupidly bad at keeping in contact with people! Its not that i don't value thier friendship, i just don't think to do it lol. Also really bad for not getting back to people lol. I have the memory of a goldfish half the time. I am one of those 'I will text back after i finish this page... " And then the plan is lost in the ether lol. My mum always had to ring me up to remind me it was my Dad or Sisters birthday lol, she just gave up reminding me of all my families birthdays and just added my name to presents and cards lol.
So maybe she isn't being a horrible person, maybe she is just busy and always forgetting to get back to you, it doesn't help your so far away and have very little prompts to do stuff.
But alas go with your gut feeling hun!
Oh and my bowls are playing havoc with my recently, just spent a good 20mins in the bathroom. Belly now hurts and i am having to miss class, which isnt good as its BSL and i am already behind on it. Got some MAJOR catching up todo before the exams lol.
So maybe she isn't being a horrible person, maybe she is just busy and always forgetting to get back to you, it doesn't help your so far away and have very little prompts to do stuff.
But alas go with your gut feeling hun!
Oh and my bowls are playing havoc with my recently, just spent a good 20mins in the bathroom. Belly now hurts and i am having to miss class, which isnt good as its BSL and i am already behind on it. Got some MAJOR catching up todo before the exams lol.
Fattyfattyboomboom
Silver Member
tyn, yeah but i am sure that if your mate wrote and said I was checking the death records in your area because I thought you were dead, you would get back to them. I am sorry, but there is NO excuse for that. I know not everyone has time and always remembers, but if you can't make 2 minutes in a month or even a year...then you obviously don't care enough about that person to make the effort. If it was your partner and they were away you'd make teh effort surely? She is in the same country, this country isn't that big, I am from the country of land. i am over 5000 miles away from the people I love, and I STILL make the effort even if is only once a month. But then maybe that is just the person I am. I don't think I was expecting too much from her. And personallyh for me, I feel I deserve better in a friend than that. I am worth more than that. And if she can't give me what I need as a friend then I don't need her as a friend. It will be a shame, I will still always care about her, but I am not going to go through wondering if she does or not.
abz
Gold Member
i have had quite a few friendships like this jenn. not to the extreme. i never thought any of them were dead. but i split up with my ex of 6.5 years and he went to stay with our friends and i didn't hear a thing from anybody. not one of them got in touch to ask if i was ok. now i know that they were in a strange situation, him being with them and all, but we hadn't fallen out. just decided we were better apart. i ended up on my own in an empty house without anybody to talk to and i got my first hug 2 days later because i asked one of them for one. now, they are all guys, for the record, but thats' no excuse. my ex finally asked them why they hadn't got in touch because it wasn't up to me to instigate it this time and i suddenly got a flood of messages. i realised that it had always been one sided. i had always been there for them, got in touch with them, made sure i talked to them, and i'm naff at keeping in touch with people too. we are still friends. i still invite them to my birthday. things like that. but i stopped instigating things and we meet a couple of times a year if that even though they live down the road. i didn't fall out with them. but one-sided friendships are draining. i don't think you should tell her she'll never hear from you again. i think maybe you should write and say that you are disappointed that she couldn't have thought about your worry more and ask her to get in touch. and maybe leave it at that and just send her a christmas card or so. i don't think it's worth animosity, but i don't think you need to waste so much energy on such a draining relationship...
abz xx
abz xx
elle2585
8 t whole wheel of cheese
to be fair, i would certainly reply to a letter asking if i was dead! but i agree with abz, perhaps just leave it at that. it's not worth your energy. I mean, i might be useless remembering to contact my friends, but i do remember random things, like when i noticed a book that i thought my friend clare would like and i bought it online and sent it to her address - that kind of thing. We all show our friendship in different ways, perhaps she's just too much to deal with. actually, talking of friendship and forgetting to do things, i found a card that I was going to send my friend laura when she finished her finals back in may, written and sealed lol. So i opened it, wrote her a message, stamped and addressed it and thought to myself, i MUST remember to post this during my lunchbreak! Low and behold...I did not. haha. Must do it after work x
Fattyfattyboomboom
Silver Member
thanks guys for your opinions. It is appreciated. =-)
Gemstone
Here for the Journey
Hiya y'all
I'm back after a late finish (though not as late as Abz). Tuesday evening is staff meeting time so we don't get to leave until around 5pm. Then it's the long treck home through the traffic - I am truely blessed
Abz - Really looking forward to the meet too and hoping Taz will be able to get the day off so that we can travel together x
Elle - Move over on that toilet
I reckon Tyn needs it more than you do x
Tyn - I hope you feel better soon :hug99: x
Jenn - If I were you I would leave it. Sending a curt letter will make the parting between you much more sad. You have had good times together and your memories are precious - don't spoil them. Just remember what was and think of it as a different time in space - gone but not forgotten. Send her a Christmas card with "Glad we are back in touch" inside and leave it at that. If you don't get one back, don't bother again. If you do, just do the once a year thing and don't worry. People drift. I have 4 such friends from different times in my life and we still exchange Christmas cards - but only that. I still think of each of them affectionately but would probably have nothing in common now. Hope you resolve your dilema :hug99:
Have a lovely evening everyone
I'm back after a late finish (though not as late as Abz). Tuesday evening is staff meeting time so we don't get to leave until around 5pm. Then it's the long treck home through the traffic - I am truely blessed
Abz - Really looking forward to the meet too and hoping Taz will be able to get the day off so that we can travel together
xElle - Move over on that toilet
I reckon Tyn needs it more than you do xTyn - I hope you feel better soon :hug99: x
Jenn - If I were you I would leave it. Sending a curt letter will make the parting between you much more sad. You have had good times together and your memories are precious - don't spoil them. Just remember what was and think of it as a different time in space - gone but not forgotten. Send her a Christmas card with "Glad we are back in touch" inside and leave it at that. If you don't get one back, don't bother again. If you do, just do the once a year thing and don't worry. People drift. I have 4 such friends from different times in my life and we still exchange Christmas cards - but only that. I still think of each of them affectionately but would probably have nothing in common now. Hope you resolve your dilema :hug99:
Have a lovely evening everyone
abz
Gold Member
hey guys. well today we have spent the afternoon trying to locate where a burnt plastic/electrical fault smell was coming from (and damn was it strong) and now i have what sounds like water dripping (although we have checked in the ceiling and upstairs and can't find any water) above my head. so if i get wet i suppose we'll find out. but the noise is like chinese water torture!! am thinking of sticking my headphones on and listening to some music.
also, listened to the paul mckenna cd on my break sitting in my chair. he's right. you need to be lying down. i was so relaxed i felt like i was going to fall on the floor!!
abz xx
also, listened to the paul mckenna cd on my break sitting in my chair. he's right. you need to be lying down. i was so relaxed i felt like i was going to fall on the floor!!
abz xx
