Bingeing... Why?!!?

Discussion in 'Bring your Head Inside and your Body will Follow' started by Sparkle, 18 October 2006 Social URL.

  1. Sparkle

    Sparkle Gold Member

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    Why do I do it? I went out for a meal with a friend last Friday. We usually go to one of the pubs and have a sandwich with a side salad etc (according to my eating out book the whole meal isn't usually more then 6 points).

    Unfortunately on Friday the kitchen was closed for refurbishment, so we ended up going to Pizza Express. Stupidly I didn't think the meal would be quite as high in points as it is at Pizza Hut because the bases are a lot thinner, and it wasn't greasy or anything. Only when I got home and looked in my eating out book did I realised I'd had more then the days points for dinner!! :eek:

    I actually felt quite 'positive' about it "Oh well I know not to go there again" etc, and didn't binge... But every day since then - so 5 days now - I've not been able to stick to the plan!! I've picked on biscuits when I'm not hungry, I've had deserts after dinner (when I never have them and am not hungry). I'm eating cakes and biscuits and just too much food in general throughout the day... and I'm not even enjoying it!!!!

    I don't savour it and make the most of it, I don't enjoy it when I'm eating it, and I feel sick when I have finished - So why on earth have I done it every day!?? Why did I do it less then an hour ago??

    I hate myself for it, and want to stop, but I don't seem to think or care when I'm doing it!

    Can anyone help?? Do you have any tips of advice? I am very stressed at work at the minute, but that feels like a cop out, just an excuse. I really don't know what to do to 'fix' myself!! I need to get back on the plan! I love it when I'm on it, and feel so good! :(
     
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  3. beentheredonethat

    beentheredonethat Full Member

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    Hi Sparkle,

    I binge too. Quite alot. In fact, only when I read your post, I sat down and thought about what I actually eat. Far too much rubbish and not enough veg and fruit, etc.

    For example, if I weigh myself and I am a pound up or the same weight, it's a case of "I might as well have the choccie biscuit now" then after that it's "I fancy a packet of crisps, bar of chocolate, greasy chips, etc.etc.etc." it's like "Sure I'm up a pound, so might as well eat even more" Ridiculous thought pattern I know and I can't understand it either.

    I did very well 2 weeks ago on the "3 day diet" lost 5.5lbs in 3 days. then thought "ah sure I'll eat normally now", but of course normally for me is binge eating. Now 2 weeks later it's a case of "I'll eat everything I like today and give it all up tomorrow",but of course I don't give up.

    I am disgusted with myself too. I was 6lb from my target at Xmas last year, I am now 3 stone from my target. No one to blame but myself, but it is so hard to get out of that bleeding cycle. I took out a photo of myself today, that was taken last Christmas and my god did I look good (I have never said that about myself). I squeezed into the same clothes I had on in that photo (well I pulled up the trousers as far as they would go - not even over my bum, and stretched the top down just to cover the "gap', crouched down so no skin showed and took a photo. What a difference ,I have now put them up on my press (sort of a before/after) and I want to get back to the "before" (last Christmas photo) weight ASAP.

    I know I am going to find it hard to break this binge eating cycle. For me I think it's got to do with "time on my hands" I mind kids, so I am at home all the time, they are eating, I am picking. My daughter is in bed at 7.30 in the evening and that leaves me sitting on the couch thinking "hmmmmm what can I eat now" even when I am not the slightest bit hungry, just like you. It's boredom. I am a single parent, so I can't go for a walk, or get out after she goes to bed. Sorry for the rambling. (Another one of my problems).

    So if you don't mind, I will check-in on your thread to see what advice any successful eaters will post.

    Good Luck! You have done extremely well with your weight loss so far. Be very proud of that!!!
     
  4. beentheredonethat

    beentheredonethat Full Member

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    Sparkle,

    I posted the paragraph on Celtic Chicks Thread a few minutes ago. Any advice on the soup?

    "I had a question if you don't mind. I noticed in a few posts that you mentioned that you were making pot loads of the No Point Soup. Do you eat this all day (for all your meals) or just as 1 of the meals in the day? If you don't eat just the soup, I wonder could you. I remember trying the soup before and it was lovely, loads of veg, I didn't blend it and eat it with the veg chunky. Would the weight loss be good by just eating the soup and drinking loads of water, maybe adding a piece of chicken for one of the meals? Thanks for any help"
     
  5. KD

    KD Gone fishing

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    I think there are a fair few bingers on this board. I'm not sure why we do it.

    Of course, there are theories, and things to help.

    Mine is the attack of the chatterbox who spends much too much time telling me all sorts of whopping lies like 'I deserve it'. Huh?? I deserve to be overweight?? Is that what he says?

    Blast the chatterbox.

    Then of course...one thing leads to another. Think some of that is to do with chemicals sending 'more' signals.

    You'll notice from the above that none of this is my fault :D

    I think I might have cracked it now...but who knows. Keep on it's case. You'll get there as long as you believe you will.
     
  6. Diva

    Diva Cambridge Diet Counsellor

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    Hope you guys don't mind but I'm gonna move this to the Bring Your Head Inside Forum so that others on other plans can participate as well....


    Also, when it comes to eating for any reason other than hunger it is always because of an emotional need that is not being taken care of.

    Consciously, its very simple to say what you want and don't want but if your subconscious has other ideas then any results will be shortlived. That is why it is so important to deal with what is really going on....beating yourself up about it also will not help because that is only reinforcing the bad feelings.

    To do something different you need to change the pattern...be kind to yourself and spend some quiet time - usually meditative - to allow your mind to relax and let you know what is really happening.

    Nine times out of ten we know exactly what is going on but choose not to accept or listen....

    Eating any kind of foods, whether low cal or not, is not the answer! I know this is the bit that people run from but its the bit that helps and works...there has to be a worthwhile alternative to the bingeing such as some kind of caretaking...
     
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  7. Sparkle

    Sparkle Gold Member

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    Thank you for moving this Diva... I didn't even think of posting in here! lol

    Thanks for this reply... it's really made me think. I need to sort out what's going on with work.. also how I feel about myself (I've been reading your self awareness/acceptance thread).

    You've given me a lot to think about. :)
     
  8. rachluvsbhg

    rachluvsbhg Full Member

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    Fellow bingers!

    Hi - ive done lots of reading on this as ive been a control/binge eater for about 20 years- keep losing and gaining the same stone n a half! There are two main schools of thought really; 1. We take comfort in food when something upsets us (even if we don't consciously know what that is) and 2 it's learned behaviour. Both schools tell us to be kind to ourselves and stop punishing ourselves as that's reinforcing negative thoughts and behaviour. I'd recommend the book 'eating less say goodbye to overeating' by Gillian Riley. It doesn't have all the answers but it does help. Ironically all these types of books state that diets are the worse thing you can do!
     
  9. MrsPopi

    MrsPopi Banned

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    I struggle too, quite a lot, with controlled eating and bingeing episodes. At the moment its bingeing. I was on target, now I am 3 stones (almost) away from it.

    I need help, I know I do. It sounds like lots of us are in the same position. How do you stop the cycling?
     
  10. Stupid

    Stupid I'm a greedy pig

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    help i can't stick to any as i am greedy
    i really do symphatise as i am so greedy. i really struggle. i try and not listen to the excuses such as "oh i ate a chocolate so i might as well eat what i want and start tommorrow" or "if the food isn't eaten it will end up in the bin so i have to eat it" or "i am stressed i need a treat" or "i deserve it when blooming well don't"[as i am a bad person.] but i really really struggle
     
  11. MrsPopi

    MrsPopi Banned

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    Part of me regrets dieting so much when I was a teenager. I think if I didnt do it then I wouldn't be in this situation now. Binge/restrict/binge. Its awful. August 14th I was 7 stone, now I am just over 10 stone. :(
     
  12. Stupid

    Stupid I'm a greedy pig

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    help i can't stick to any as i am greedy
    well i can relate. something similar happened to me. i got down to 7 stone[but i am only 4 ft 8] went back up to over eight stone though bingeing and bulimia, then dieted back down to just over 6 stone[at most 6 stone 4 a bmi of 19.2] and then through bulima returning and having to take zyprexa for stress i went up to 10 stone or near it. i went off the zyprexa and got counselling for the bulimia and got down to 8stone 7 but have being stuck at 8 stone 4 to 8 stone 7ish for years

    best advice i can give is to go to your dr for advice
     
  13. MissUno

    MissUno World Class Oddball

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    Binging, that's a familiar thing, I don't know why the desire to eat that packet of crisps seems to overpower the desire to lose the weight....but it does. I suppose it's the human need for gratification and if we feel empty emotionally, life isn't going as we quite hoped. Then some little voice tells us that the plate of chips, piece of cake, bar of chocolate...whatever, is going to fill the void (for a moment) But does it, no it doesn't. We just end up hating ourselves, feeling guilty, and the cycle breeds more comfort eating.

    I put a great deal of effort into weight-loss before. Losing a significant amount of weight. During the course of last year, it all went back on. It took half the time to put it on than it did to lose it all, and now I start again.

    I've decided this time though to get food therapy from an eating disorders service in my area. I think sometimes going on a diet isn't the answer, it's rewiring ourselves psychologically so that eating "right" becomes a natural habit, rather than a chore.
     
  14. Micci

    Micci Gold Member

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    Hi, I don't know what to call you, I can't call you Stupid,

    I am sad to see you identify yourself as a bad person. You mentioned councelling for the Bulimia, any chance of getting it extended for self-esteem work?

    You also mention that thing of eating food rather than see it go in the bin. I've struggled with that as I was bought up to believe that wasting food was one of the worst sins ever.

    Now, I see it as just as much a waste if I eat something I don't need. It passes through me into the sewers and gives me no benefit. The opposite in fact. So now I do my very best not to treat myself as a rubbish bin. It is a struggle though - I'm just feeling rather positive today.

    I've been binging a lot over the last year and deeply deeply regret it. But I've come to understand that there was a reason for it.

    Perhaps other bingers could give time to themselves to think and meditate on this. We are rational beings and don't do things to injure ourselves deliberately unless in a pretty bad way emotionally so at some level we are benefitting, or trying to benefit from what on the surface looks like pretty destructive behaviour.
     
  15. Micci

    Micci Gold Member

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    MissUno, we are so on the same lines of thinking here. To have a natural relationship with food is my true goal
     
  16. MissUno

    MissUno World Class Oddball

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    Yes, this would be the goal definitely. To be able to have a healthy and "normal" relationship for food and eating. Rather than it being a friend/enemy all at the same time. Something that brings both pleasure and shame.

    Food is supposed to be there to fuel our bodies, not mess up our minds. Hopefully with the counselling we'll get into the right mind set about food and be able to function like those regular folk eh. :hug99:
     
  17. Micci

    Micci Gold Member

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    Hi,

    I'd be really interested to hear about your experiences with the eating disorder ..er . what did you call it? .. Clinic/centre/specialist ...

    I've gone to a counsellor with the idea of looking specifically at my binging but have instead gone into other things. she is very non-directive and I've found out quite a bit about myself as I respond to the safe listening she gives me. I now think that without sorting out my underlying issues if I stopped binging I'd be likely to pick up some other damaging habit.

    I've said while going through these particularly stressful couple of years that eating had kept me sane. Now I'm looking for other ways of preserving my sanity. But am also wondering about doing some CBT in a while alongside the counselling.

    I do also find the IOWL podcasts very helpful in gaining that altered mindset but (I whisper this very quietly as I don't want to hurt her feelings) some of her stuff is a bit too ...... er .... Californian for me and teh ad breaks are so very annoying although I do see why they have to be there and it is free after all.

    CBT is all the NHS around here offer anyway - there doesn't seem to be anything specifically for binging.

    I have tried to set up a real life self help group, advertising on Freecycle, Gumtree and Netmums but have had very little response.

    Soooo, go for it MissUno, thanks for responding
     
  18. xnickyfitchx

    xnickyfitchx ♥ Bride - to - be ♥

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    I can't really say that I am a binge eater, but I can definitely binge out from time to time. What tends to keep me going is I put a little reward system in place for myself.

    I get weighed on a wednesday evening. After that weigh in for the evening, I WILL!! eat so much chocolate and crisps - because that is my night off. Then on a thursday, I tell myself that if I can go all day without having chocolate or crisps, that I can have a nice (W.W's) chocolate pudding after tea (for example). Then on a friday I tell myself I can have a reward on saturday night if I don't have chocolate or crisps. On a sunday I give myself till tuesday before I reward myself, and then it is back to wednesday and it doesn't matter that evening what I eat.

    I'm not sure if this will help or not, but I thought I would share what helps me to not snack and binge :)
     
  19. Splenda

    Splenda Gold Member

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    Hi there! :)
    Hope you don't mind me joining in - I can relate to so many of your posts with the binge eating, I also want to have a natural relationship with food...or try!

    I think I binge because of my many years of always 'dieting' and following some slimming club or another and having an all or nothing attitude towards food - it's either good or bad - when I am good, I am really good and when I am bad, I am really bad ;)

    I'm trying really hard to not look at my eating or what I eat as being good or bad but just trying to eat healthy and if I eat too much at one meal, I'm just trying to draw a line and eat healthy at the next meal. In the past if I had one 'bad' meal my mindset would be to just start over again tomorrow and binge the rest of the day. I still think that way, it's my first instinct and it is hard to get rid of 20+ years of a certain way of thinking!
    It's so strange how food can have such a hold over us xx
     
  20. Lil_Mrs_Sunshine

    Lil_Mrs_Sunshine Spring Challenge!

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    I hate it and the way it affects life so much.

    I can go three or four days really healthy and well balanced, then something will hit and I just have to binge and binge and binge.

    It makes me depressed. Would be so simple if I didnt have to eat. Part of me thinks adapting to a cambridge diet type solution would help to train myself with normal eating patterns once again. But, finances dont permit.

    Its a viscous circle....
     
  21. Pomooky125

    Pomooky125 Silver Member

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    Hi - new to Minimins but not to bingeing!

    Hi, I am so relieved to have found others who have the same bingeing problem as myself at least I don't feel so alone. I don't know why I do it - I think it was initially because a lot of bad things happened in 2008 and then I got stuck in a cycle. I start in the evening at 6.45 (yep, exactly) and stuff myself with my son's school bars and anything else I can find. I can hardly sleep for the pain in my stomach and the nausea and have seen myself grow from a size 8 to a 14 in 2 and a half years. I have begun to eat normally today (I can hardly remember what that is) and have some fruit lined up to snack on.

    I have tried counselling at the GP's but it was self-help filling out questionnaires and reading booklets - I was hoping for something like CBT to rewire my head. I measured myself yesterday and my waist is the same size as my hips! Yeuurgh!

    Sorry for dull post but I haven't cracked all the pics, charts and stuff yet!

    Warm wishes ... Pomooky :)
     
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