Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

So glad Jennie is going to be late - I am feeling v v v delicate and shaky after a v v v late night/early morning on the vodka:eek: In fact I think I'm still drunk:eek: :eek:

Just had a shower and gonna put some slap on else will scare the bejesus out of Jennie.....looking forward to a nice shop.....

Love
 
FFF/Jennie

Found your diary yesterday when i was having a nose around (addictive? definately). I just had to say you have a great way with words - I just had to read the whole thing from start to .... well not finish but you know what I mean.

I wish I could express myself half as well!! Well done on the weight loss as well and from your photos it definately shows.

Hope you and Eric can work things out but it couldn't hurt to keep it "just good friends" until you and he both have the time to invest into making it something more??. Something good is always worth waiting for.
 
Saturday Dec 16th.. 7.25pm

Home now.. had a fab time with Mich. She is sooooo lovely, we didn't stop talking.. and her family are just beautiful!!! I got there around half 12 in the end (car was NOT ready when we got there but finally got it home by about 11). The drive was ok, clear roads and good weather.. and all accompanied by Jonathon Ross on Radio 2 ( I think he's sooo funny)... and then Terry Shaughnessy on CD. Bliss!

Mich's directions were ace and I found her place really easily (only 1 wrong turn and that was my fault.. lol).. we chatted and then headed for the shops... well... I am sooooooooo surprised.. but... I bought a new top in NEW LOOK!!!!!
I couldn't believe it... we both broke down in tears in the changing room!!! (soppy mares) lol It was very emotional!! It's beautiful... a lovely colour that I have NEVER worn before and all sparkly too! VERY feminine! We both agreed that it was the one to get (I did try on others too!).. AND it was only £12 so a right bargain! I'm thinking of wearing it tomorrow night when I go to the folk club at Hitchin with me mate Daryl... either there or save it for the Toon! lol Either way... I loved it and with Mich giving me much needed pushing and honest opinion... I felt very happy with my purchase!

We went into loads of shops.. lol.. we were very restrained though.. I got some buttons for my coat from the market and a very brightly coloured sarong for my holiday next summer.. Mich has promised to loan me swimming cozzies and summer clothes that will be too small for her next summer but probably the right size for me by then (I hope).. went into Evans and a top I liked the only size they had was too big for me!!!!! I couldn't believe that! lol I bought some tights in there as they had no stockings! They didn't have any stockings in the Wellingborough branch either the other week so that peeved me, but tights will give a smoother line with me dress... I'm going to get the girls to take a photo of me in the dress on NYE and, if I like the pic, I'll whack it on here... Mich has made me promise to do the same with the new top! I DO love it! Never had anything like it before!

We mooched around Monsoon and Debenhams and BHS... oooh in BHS there was a mega jar of chocolate crunchie bits... I stroked the jar.. lol ah well... not for me any more....

I could smell all the scrummy food aromas eminating from the centre... there were definitely doughnuts, chips, sprouts, burgers etc etc etc... not that I'm hungry... just missing food that's all... not enough to eat it though! lol

Not sure what to do this evening... have to wrap my sisters family presents and my mums too.. meeting up with sis tomorrow afternoon.. might take me new top with me but change into it before the evening out... really not sure ... lol

I think it might be tight on the tum when I sit down.. apart from that it's gorgeous.. a size 24 mind you.. so not the smallest but NOT THE LARGEST either!!

As we walked through the market we discussed how, since starting on this diet, there is this urge to tell large people about it... but that felt like rudeness so we don't, then , at the same time we commented on a lady we had just walked past as she stuffed a huge hot dog in her mouth.. bless her.. she was at least a size 30. I felt bad for her.. which sounds horrendously vain but I don't mean it that way... I have absolutely MASSES to lose still and know it's going to take a long time... at least until next September (at a guess)... so am not in a position to say too much... BUT... I saw her and saw myself. Y'know? Now, she could be very happy as she is, very happy... and who am I to say anything to upset her... but if I knew her I would say something, if she was a friend I would say something, and not lose our friendship.. but I know how mortified I would have been (and still would be) if some total stranger approached me in the street to tell me how to lose weight! So what do you do? Pray that she has good friends who know all about it and maybe will tell her one day.. ? I dunno, but it is hard and I'm acutely aware that this probably sounds horrendously judgemental but it isn't.. it's how I feel...

It's a bit like when you are trying for a baby, all you see are couples with babies or pregant women... when you are looking to buy a certain car, all you see are that type of car, know what I mean? so... now I am losing some weight all I see are fat women (and men)... why is that???

Anyway... on the way home I wanted to tell "Eric" about my new top... it's a big thing for me to have bought clothes from New Look!! lol He answered the phone but wouldn't talk... clearly he didn't feel able to even speak for one minute.. so I mumbled, well , ok then , talk another time.. and I hung up. I was so miffed, more so when I got a text from him saying.. sorry, family here. I thought - damn cheek! When I am with him he answers his phone and talks to whoever is calling! So it's not the same the other way!! I wouldn't have kept him long... just wanted to share about the trip and the top! So I sent him a vitriolic message saying that it was a pretty poor state of affairs if he couldn't even speak for a minute.. and was he ashamed to know me then or is e not allowed to speak to anyone when his family are present!!! I was MOST peeved! (and made sure he knew it!) I got a very brief text back that simply said "I had a mouthful of food". You know what... who cares! (hmm... I obviously do or I wouldn't be spouting off about it on here!)... but still... it won't spoil my day... it's been a belter and I loved this afternoon with Mich.. when we got back to her place after the shopping.. I had one of my soups and she showed me her photos of her "before" times.. I wouldn't have recognised her!!!! I can't believe the difference in her!!

I mean, I knew how lovely she looked anyway, but had no idea how big she had been! I am even more in awe now!! We discussed the possibility of her setting me up with a member of her hubby's family but the jury's still out on that LOL (well, I thought he looked pretty fanciable! lol)..

So... tonight... Zoe just arrived home with her boyfriend in tow.. his grandad is in hopsital and VERY poorly... not looking good and doubtful if he will last the weekend.. so a subdued pair at the moment..

I showed her the top and she likes it.. so that was good... she asked if I was going to put up the christmas decs and I said I would but they're in the loft and I can't get up there to get them down! lol I think she might get them down in the morning... if not then they won't be going up! Simple as that!

Well, it's already 8pm and I think I shall make a muffin and retire up to my room and wrap these presents.. if I'm not too tired in the morning I might drive down to sis and get a lift with her to mums and surprise her (mum) with a visit. I think she'll like that.. and then get sis to drop me back at my car and I can then go on to see my friend Daryl :D

Might text sis in a minute and ask what time she intends leaving Luton to get to mum in the morning.. if too early I might have to pass as I will be home VERY late tomorrow night!

All in all a very good day... we're going to arrange another visit soon... next time we meet (Me and Mich) will be in the Toon in January! (that will be a giggle!)... can't believe its only, what, 3 weeks time!!!! Hope the top will be ok on me belly by then... not sure whether to wear it or me dress.. probably bring both.. lol.. and jeans.. and me black top I wore to Brum's night out.. I love that top!

Oh.. the top I get weighed in kept slipping down last night so I think that has seen it's last outing for a while!! Not even sure I will wear it for weigh-in! lol I wore the choccie coloured combats today and felt good in them.. Mich's little girl told me she really liked my trousers (awww... bless her) :D She is a real character! (dunno who she takes after... LMAO)..

I shall go to bed tonight a happy girl with my new top hanging on the outside of the wardrobe... next to the dress! lol
 
Hi Elsa

Welcome to my world! lol Glad you enjoyed my diary... :D thanks for the nice comments on the weight loss too! :D

As you will see from tonight's little episode.. I think that me and "Eric" are on a hiding to nothing and nowhere.. I think in my heart I know it can and will never be... so there's just no point really.. I mean.. I wouldn't dream of being so off on the phone if he rang me and my family were sitting in the room! .. we shall see... lol I think he will be as peeved with me as I with him anyway by now.. lol.. my text didn't leave a lot to the imagination! (I did warn him I am fiesty!!) If we lived a lot closer it would be very different, but we don't and he simply can't be bothered to put himself out and I am SO worth being put out for.. LMAO!! (yeah right!).. lol but honestly.. it just isn't and won't go anywhere.. I am settling for second best with him really (relationship wise).. as a person he is lovely.. and as you can tell by my waffling and wittering on.. I like him.. ho hum... soon be Christmas... and.. I wrote my letter to Santa so perhaps my stockings will be filled this Christmas!! (if I can get any from Evans of course!) ... lol

Thanks again, and welcome :D
 
glad you had a good ....don't worry about eric .....men are weird!! enjoy your good bits today .........my dad called and said you didn't stop to say hello !!!!xx
 
Sounds like you had a wonderful day - why wasn't I invited?!!! ;)

Anyway - I'm at the beginning of my journey and I feel the same way when I fat men and women.... but then I bring myself back in; may be they're not at the right time or place; may be they're doing a different plan; may be they are doing VLCD?!!

You've done brilliantly you really have. I would have cried along there with you in that changing room.

As for Eric - why are you doing this to yourself? Why? Why? Why?

Anyway - take care of yourself. Much LOVE as always.

cc xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
 
I dunno!!?? Coz I'm a sad sack! lol

NOPE.

I'd say it's because deep down, despite the bravado, the gutso and humour ..... you don't truly believe in the person we've told you, you are, time and time again. Time to look in the mirror and see the real you,the 'you' we love here at Minimins, not the 'you' people in the past have made you feel you are.

'Nuff said, I amd bordering on offence.

Love as always
 
NOPE.

I'd say it's because deep down, despite the bravado, the gutso and humour ..... you don't truly believe in the person we've told you, you are, time and time again. Time to look in the mirror and see the real you,the 'you' we love here at Minimins, not the 'you' people in the past have made you feel you are.

'Nuff said, I amd bordering on offence.

Love as always

Not offended at all.... I think you are right.. :eek: :eek: :eek:
 
Hey FFF, congrats on the New Look top....I love that shop!!! I can sooo relate to wat you said about wanting to stop large people and tell them all about CD since starting.....I have a list brewing in my head of at least 15 people who I KNOW could benefit from CD, but as you said, ye cant just make them listen!!!
 
Congratulations on the new top from New Look. Never shopped there before. And glad you and Mich had a great time together. i would have cried with you too.
Irene xx
 
Had a lovely time.....was lovely to see you.....you are looking great girly......:) The look of wonderment and realisation on your face that something from New Look actually fitted you just got to me and made me blubb!! .....blame it on the voddie.....thats what chocked me ......reminded me of me when I first bought something from somewhere other that Evans:)

Re: Eric....mmmm do what you think is right......Re my BIL......mmmm could do better - you that is not him......LOL:eek: He is seriously dull......honest........:D

Hope to see you wearing your new top with pride sooon.....it really does suit you and dont forget to pull the tie at the back so it accentuates your waist (that is rapidly appearing....) and your erm 'jordans'.....LOL

See you soon - thanks again for the pressie and a nice day - just what I needed for my hangover - mind you my eyes look like p**s holes in the snow now so off to bed.....

Love
 
I am SO worth being put out for.. LMAO!! (yeah right!)..
:D
There's no doubt about it you are def worth being put out for girl - You remember that :D


Ohhh I'm sooo chuffed for you to have bought something from New Look - it's such a great feeling to be able to shop in other places apart from Evans - you go girlie :) Hey you may be able to find your stocking for santa to fill in some other shop too lol Have you tried Peacocks or QS ( You can tell I'm a big spender hahahahaha) You may get a suprise...

Well done again, chuffed for you :p
 
Delighted you had a good time out shopping and can we have some pics of your new top!!! Please:)


Love Mini xxx
 
Saturday Dec 16th.. 7.25pm


We went into loads of shops.. lol.. we were very restrained though.. I got some buttons for my coat from the market and a very brightly coloured sarong for my holiday next summer.. Mich has promised to loan me swimming cozzies and summer clothes that will be too small for her next summer but probably the right size for me by then (I hope)..

Mmmmmm I know I'm not being a v good girl just at the moment but I sincerly hope you mean that my summer clothes from last year will be too BIG for me....not too SMALL....LMAO.:eek: ;) - that said if come January I do not get a grip then they will absolutely be too small......;) ;)

Love
 
Mmmmmm I know I'm not being a v good girl just at the moment but I sincerly hope you mean that my summer clothes from last year will be too BIG for me....not too SMALL....LMAO.:eek: ;) - that said if come January I do not get a grip then they will absolutely be too small......;) ;)

Love


LOL! I did wonder the same ....! :D
 
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