Blonde Logic's Stream of Consciousness/Diary
- Thread starter Blonde Logic
- Start date
Blonde Logic
Yes. You can.
Blonde Logic
Yes. You can.
Thank you ladies. 
Makes up for the gold stars I missed out on in school when I was behind the gym smoking :giggle:
I am jut getting used to my new phone - slightly better quality but still bad resolution. Better then buttin though! Thanks for your compliments.
xx
Makes up for the gold stars I missed out on in school when I was behind the gym smoking :giggle:I am jut getting used to my new phone - slightly better quality but still bad resolution. Better then buttin though! Thanks for your compliments.
xx
Purple Hugs
Loves weight.. training!
Hi Blonde Logic. have left rep already saying how inspiring you are.. am reading my way through your diary - day 3 of plan so far
Just wanted to say I'm really enjoying reading your story and will continue. I am going to 'let myself go' in respect of my own diary, I had started to want to post more but held myself back. Your diary is showing me that it can be therapuetic and something I am able to do.
One thing that hit home was your attitude that this IS the time.. I have very much been feeling this about my own journey this time. I will use you as a reminder to myself that it can be done.. and I really can do it.
Thank you once again, you truly are an inspiration.
have left rep already saying how inspiring you are.. am reading my way through your diary - day 3 of plan so far Just wanted to say I'm really enjoying reading your story and will continue.
I am going to 'let myself go' in respect of my own diary, I had started to want to post more but held myself back. Your diary is showing me that it can be therapuetic and something I am able to do. One thing that hit home was your attitude that this IS the time.. I have very much been feeling this about my own journey this time. I will use you as a reminder to myself that it can be done.. and I really can do it.
Thank you once again, you truly are an inspiration.
Blonde Logic
Yes. You can.
ON my walk today I thought about how long it has been since I have written on my diary, so thought I would put a few things down today.
While walking, I was thinking about the “What three things make you smile” Thread, and I realized, I had been smiling continuously since I left my house. I just had a smile plastered on that nothing could remove. And I realized today, everything is making me smile.
Waves of success come and go, and when they do, the feeling is indescribable. I just get this over whelming sense of well being, and contentment, and often it is so powerful that it brings tears to my eyes. When I think of how I was living, pre LL, well, it is just a lifetime ago.
Every day, and every week I settle more and more into this new healthy lifestyle. I love it – I love seeing all healthy groceries in my cupboards. I get so much satisfaction and joy from that, I really can’t say why. It just makes me feel good. There is a fair amount of security in that, which makes me realize food was also security. Not just punishment or comfort, which was my two biggest uses of it. Or abuses as the case may have been. It is definitely security for me to have a kitchen well stocked. But now, it’s well stocked with beautiful fresh foods. It makes me feel proud of myself.
It’s now been 9 weeks or so since I finished the complete LL program, including RTM. Each day I face obstacles, and challenges. And each day, I deal with them, without food. This is wonderful. And something that amazes and awes me at times. And I can see so very clearly now, that I don’t use food for those difficult moments; I can see so clearly how useless a plan it was to use it in the first place. It solves nothing. NOTHING. Why did I think it would? Lol
My best friend back home asked me yesterday, if I have forgiven my ex-husband. Ya know, I haven’t. But, I don’t care. I now know and feel, what he thought means nothing to me now. It did at the time, obviously. But now…. I just can’t be bothered to give him any of my time and thoughts. He’s not worth it. Maybe it’s bad not to ‘forgive him’ for he really set me on a bad path. I wasted years of my life believing things about me because of his influence – but now, today – it means nothing to me. I am happy, and I am happy without him. I knew I would be, that’s why I left. But, it’s gone….that feeling of wanting an apology from him, or needing one. I need nothing from him. I won. I know it, I don’t need him to know it.
That is very liberating.
I am now, in control of my life. I have drive again. I made my mind up not to settle for a job, just to get one and be done with the painful interviewing process of being judged. I decided, stick with it, and get a job that pays you your worth. And I did it. I applied for jobs I would not have last year. I came close on a few of them, and when landing the wrong one, I continued looking, and finding leads. And it worked. I got what I want. I put myself out there, and have been rewarded. I will never tell myself I am not worth what others are.
Life is so much easier if you put positive thoughts out into the universe. You get what you give. It’s all true.
I know I will never be fat again. I really know this. It was scary in RTM. And there were doubts. Some old thoughts tried to reinvent themselves. But they weren’t strong enough. I have done this – I now am living so many of the things I used to watch others doing, longingly. I am now doing it. I am one of those who I longed to be. How amazing is that.
On my walk today, I had such a spring in my step. Nothing could keep me down. And as I approached the level crossing, as it went down I headed to the overhead stairs/ramp. And I flew up them. The sun was shining, I felt alive. I raced to the top and felt like Rocky! I just wanted to dance around and shout at the people in the station how wonderful life is.
These past few weeks have been very difficult. Losing a job where I had made some good friends – going to another where I would make no friends – pressure at home about money concerns – tests for my neck, etc. – never seeing my OH as he is so often working Overtime – it has just been a stressful time.
Today I feel as if I have been lifted – lifted to a place where things are going to start happening. It’s very exciting. Life just gets more and more interesting. A year ago, I felt it was, or could be over, and it wouldn’t have mattered.
Today, it’s wonderful.
I have wonderful friends. I have wonderful family. I am loved. I love. I have high hopes.
Life is pretty bloody good. Even with all its ups and downs. If you love yourself, the rest all falls into place.
While walking, I was thinking about the “What three things make you smile” Thread, and I realized, I had been smiling continuously since I left my house. I just had a smile plastered on that nothing could remove. And I realized today, everything is making me smile.
Waves of success come and go, and when they do, the feeling is indescribable. I just get this over whelming sense of well being, and contentment, and often it is so powerful that it brings tears to my eyes. When I think of how I was living, pre LL, well, it is just a lifetime ago.
Every day, and every week I settle more and more into this new healthy lifestyle. I love it – I love seeing all healthy groceries in my cupboards. I get so much satisfaction and joy from that, I really can’t say why. It just makes me feel good. There is a fair amount of security in that, which makes me realize food was also security. Not just punishment or comfort, which was my two biggest uses of it. Or abuses as the case may have been. It is definitely security for me to have a kitchen well stocked. But now, it’s well stocked with beautiful fresh foods. It makes me feel proud of myself.
It’s now been 9 weeks or so since I finished the complete LL program, including RTM. Each day I face obstacles, and challenges. And each day, I deal with them, without food. This is wonderful. And something that amazes and awes me at times. And I can see so very clearly now, that I don’t use food for those difficult moments; I can see so clearly how useless a plan it was to use it in the first place. It solves nothing. NOTHING. Why did I think it would? Lol
My best friend back home asked me yesterday, if I have forgiven my ex-husband. Ya know, I haven’t. But, I don’t care. I now know and feel, what he thought means nothing to me now. It did at the time, obviously. But now…. I just can’t be bothered to give him any of my time and thoughts. He’s not worth it. Maybe it’s bad not to ‘forgive him’ for he really set me on a bad path. I wasted years of my life believing things about me because of his influence – but now, today – it means nothing to me. I am happy, and I am happy without him. I knew I would be, that’s why I left. But, it’s gone….that feeling of wanting an apology from him, or needing one. I need nothing from him. I won. I know it, I don’t need him to know it.
That is very liberating.
I am now, in control of my life. I have drive again. I made my mind up not to settle for a job, just to get one and be done with the painful interviewing process of being judged. I decided, stick with it, and get a job that pays you your worth. And I did it. I applied for jobs I would not have last year. I came close on a few of them, and when landing the wrong one, I continued looking, and finding leads. And it worked. I got what I want. I put myself out there, and have been rewarded. I will never tell myself I am not worth what others are.
Life is so much easier if you put positive thoughts out into the universe. You get what you give. It’s all true.
I know I will never be fat again. I really know this. It was scary in RTM. And there were doubts. Some old thoughts tried to reinvent themselves. But they weren’t strong enough. I have done this – I now am living so many of the things I used to watch others doing, longingly. I am now doing it. I am one of those who I longed to be. How amazing is that.
On my walk today, I had such a spring in my step. Nothing could keep me down. And as I approached the level crossing, as it went down I headed to the overhead stairs/ramp. And I flew up them. The sun was shining, I felt alive. I raced to the top and felt like Rocky! I just wanted to dance around and shout at the people in the station how wonderful life is.
These past few weeks have been very difficult. Losing a job where I had made some good friends – going to another where I would make no friends – pressure at home about money concerns – tests for my neck, etc. – never seeing my OH as he is so often working Overtime – it has just been a stressful time.
Today I feel as if I have been lifted – lifted to a place where things are going to start happening. It’s very exciting. Life just gets more and more interesting. A year ago, I felt it was, or could be over, and it wouldn’t have mattered.
Today, it’s wonderful.
I have wonderful friends. I have wonderful family. I am loved. I love. I have high hopes.
Life is pretty bloody good. Even with all its ups and downs. If you love yourself, the rest all falls into place.
PurpleButterfly
16lb to go!
How uplifting BL and it's so great to hear how you've managed to completely change how you relate to food! And completely changed your whole life with it, it's so amazing to hear. Won't let me rep you again, but if I could I would!
slendablenda
Gold Member
Wow BL I am just so pleased for you
I truly am, especially at the moment about the job.Instead of putting up with just getting a job, you had the confidence and belief in yourself and your abilities to stick your head over the parapet and go for it. Would you have done that a year ago? I suspect not.
I can so relate to much of what you have written. In fact I could have posted much of it myself.
You are so right to say that everything else slots into place. That's not to say that everything in life is perfect, but just to know that you can deal with life's issues as a slim and healthy person with confidence is so liberating and that's what I think is so special about LL.It liberates your emotions as well as your body. It has enabled us to deal with important issues from our lives which we had buried under layers of food and fat for many years. We have liberated ourselves, not that we will ever forget those things, but we are no longer going to let them rule out futures. We now HAVE futures and are ready to face them with strength and enthusiasm.
The fact that the sun hasstarted shining is an added bonus.
Congratulations girl. Enjoy every moment.
I truly am, especially at the moment about the job.Instead of putting up with just getting a job, you had the confidence and belief in yourself and your abilities to stick your head over the parapet and go for it. Would you have done that a year ago? I suspect not.
I can so relate to much of what you have written. In fact I could have posted much of it myself.
You are so right to say that everything else slots into place. That's not to say that everything in life is perfect, but just to know that you can deal with life's issues as a slim and healthy person with confidence is so liberating and that's what I think is so special about LL.It liberates your emotions as well as your body. It has enabled us to deal with important issues from our lives which we had buried under layers of food and fat for many years. We have liberated ourselves, not that we will ever forget those things, but we are no longer going to let them rule out futures. We now HAVE futures and are ready to face them with strength and enthusiasm.
The fact that the sun hasstarted shining is an added bonus.
Congratulations girl. Enjoy every moment.
What an amazing amazing thread. I have just spent hours reading the whole thing. You are such an inpsiration. I wanted to PM you but im a newbie member, so as soon as I can I will.
Thank you for sharing everything with us. You don't realise what a difference you have made.
Big Hugs xxxx
Thank you for sharing everything with us. You don't realise what a difference you have made.
Big Hugs xxxx
Blonde Logic
Yes. You can.
Hi Jacko
Thank you so much. ANd thank you for taking the time to read the whole thread!! You deserve a prize!!
It warms me to the soul to think I inspire someone - anyone. It still amazes me.....never in all my life would I ever had seen this coming.
Good luck to you!! If I can do it, anyone can do it!!!
XX
Thank you so much.
ANd thank you for taking the time to read the whole thread!! You deserve a prize!! It warms me to the soul to think I inspire someone - anyone. It still amazes me.....never in all my life would I ever had seen this coming.
Good luck to you!! If I can do it, anyone can do it!!!
XX
Crystal Star
Member
I just wanted to say your story is amazing Blonde Logic and I thank you for sharing it.
I am at the start of my weight loss plan (again) and you really are an inspiration.
I am at the start of my weight loss plan (again) and you really are an inspiration.
Moonshine
Full Member
Hey BL ... WOW !!!
I started reading at 10am and have just got through it all, fantastic is what i say i am so excited after reading your posts and that of the others. I have my appointment on Friday and i know that it will be the start of my new life. My son starts school nursery in Sept and i do not want to be the big mommy in the playground and i do not want to uncomfortable at the xmas party and i am 30 in Feb 2010 and defo want to be the new ME by then !! Xx
I started reading at 10am and have just got through it all, fantastic is what i say i am so excited after reading your posts and that of the others. I have my appointment on Friday and i know that it will be the start of my new life. My son starts school nursery in Sept and i do not want to be the big mommy in the playground and i do not want to uncomfortable at the xmas party and i am 30 in Feb 2010 and defo want to be the new ME by then !! Xx
Blonde Logic
Yes. You can.
Hi MS and Crystal....thanks so much. MS, I can;t believe you read that all in one day! You deserve a prize!! I hope it helped, if nothing else, show you that if you put your mind to something, anything is possible.
Good luck to you both- do this right and you will have those things you mentioned. Its that easy, if you play by the rules.
Welcome to MM's, and all good luck as you become the yummy mummy you deserve to be and you too Crystal - chase, and receive your dream!!!
You can do it!!!!
I hope it helped, if nothing else, show you that if you put your mind to something, anything is possible.Good luck to you both- do this right and you will have those things you mentioned. Its that easy, if you play by the rules.
Welcome to MM's, and all good luck as you become the yummy mummy you deserve to be and you too Crystal - chase, and receive your dream!!!
You can do it!!!!
Moonshine
Full Member
Thanks BL, i dont quite know how this site works yet - i am unable to see any pics of your weight loss think i have to post so many times before i can pm and see profiles ... is that right??
BL - Can i ask ... now you have lost a lotta weight and are maintaining what do you eat in a typical day? The few people i have spoke to in my personal life have been quite negative, saying that i will put it back on when i eat normal food again. Now its my understanding that food groups introduced slow, carbs are increased slow so your body adjusts accordingly and in turn you do not go overbord and gain gain gain... is this right? I am thinking that as long as i do what im told i will loose maintain and succeed !!! Xx
BL - Can i ask ... now you have lost a lotta weight and are maintaining what do you eat in a typical day? The few people i have spoke to in my personal life have been quite negative, saying that i will put it back on when i eat normal food again. Now its my understanding that food groups introduced slow, carbs are increased slow so your body adjusts accordingly and in turn you do not go overbord and gain gain gain... is this right? I am thinking that as long as i do what im told i will loose maintain and succeed !!! Xx
Blonde Logic
Yes. You can.
Hi Moon....here is a thread:
http://www.minimins.com/ll-maintenance/92819-foxtrot.html
There are a few "snapshot" days of what we are eating now.....it will give you an idea.
I am eating what I think is ALOT on some days. It just goes to show - eating a lot of the right foods, combined with exercise makes all the difference.
Hope this helps give you an idea of what I am eating now, several monts post diet.
Then, if you want to look at the beginning of re-feeding, here is my food diary when I was tracking everything. It might be helpful too
www.minimins.com/route-management/69727-bls-moods-foods-diary.html.
Half the fun of after-lighterlife is proving all the nay-sayers wrong.
When I go visit people I used to work with, I can see them scrutinising my body, upa nd down looking for any sign that I am putting the weight back on.
I love to see the look of disgust on a select few when they are dissappointed to see that I am maintaining! It is a very satisfying, "I told you so" moment, without ever having to say a word!!! :giggle: Don;t listen to them - ever.
Never ever let anyones words stop you from doing something YOU believe YOU can do. They don't matter.
http://www.minimins.com/ll-maintenance/92819-foxtrot.html
There are a few "snapshot" days of what we are eating now.....it will give you an idea.
I am eating what I think is ALOT on some days. It just goes to show - eating a lot of the right foods, combined with exercise makes all the difference.
Hope this helps give you an idea of what I am eating now, several monts post diet.
Then, if you want to look at the beginning of re-feeding, here is my food diary when I was tracking everything. It might be helpful too
www.minimins.com/route-management/69727-bls-moods-foods-diary.html.
Half the fun of after-lighterlife is proving all the nay-sayers wrong.
When I go visit people I used to work with, I can see them scrutinising my body, upa nd down looking for any sign that I am putting the weight back on.
I love to see the look of disgust on a select few when they are dissappointed to see that I am maintaining! It is a very satisfying, "I told you so" moment, without ever having to say a word!!! :giggle: Don;t listen to them - ever.
Never ever let anyones words stop you from doing something YOU believe YOU can do.
They don't matter.
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Blonde Logic
Yes. You can.
Oh, and yes Moon, you need to have 50 posts in order to see photos. Get onto the game threads, and you can wrack up posts quickly!
