Bren's Diary - The journey begins, again!
- Thread starter BREN
- Start date
BREN
destination .... SLIMSVILLE!
Okay......
Well after much deliberation and today overeating, due to trying to stick with a plan my heart and mind are just not into... Ultra Life, I have decide that ,after my 48 hours which my counsellor challenged me to do, and i managed to calorie count and exercise, felt normal and like I had a small glimse into the life that I used to have.
So I did decide yesterday that I would continue with my last 2 weeks of UL, However today I have sabottaged it because my heart isn't in it.
My counsellor encourage me to do the 48 hrs because I told her I was becoming a recluse and avoiding social outings and life (including meals with hubby) due to not being happy with my weight. I have been investing too much time into weight loss and it has hindered my thinking and my body. My brain is always consumed with thoughts about loosing weight and nothing else. I can talk the talk, but not allowing my body to walk the walk (hope all reading can interpret that).
So I enjoyed eating apples and a mango etc and dried fruit with out feeling guilty or trying to hard. i did this all on my days off of UL (or CD).
The idea behind the 48hrs was to have a life and also to reassure myself that I can control my eating without being on a program. I know what foods to eat and know how to loose weight healthily. I owe it to myself to get my life back. I am tearful just thinking, over the past year, how much torment and destructiveness I have done to myself, my mind / body and to my poor hubby who bless never mentions food or dinner out anymore ...... knowing I am always on a diet. (God what awful actions and habits I have created)
As of tomorrow I am going to calorie count and I am very happy to say that I am looking forward to it. I enjoyed it many years ago and was able to count in wine on the weekend and a biscuit with a coffee, when out with a friend. Roll on tomorrow.
My life may actually be about to return! Definitely emotional now.
Well after much deliberation and today overeating, due to trying to stick with a plan my heart and mind are just not into... Ultra Life, I have decide that ,after my 48 hours which my counsellor challenged me to do, and i managed to calorie count and exercise, felt normal and like I had a small glimse into the life that I used to have.
So I did decide yesterday that I would continue with my last 2 weeks of UL, However today I have sabottaged it because my heart isn't in it.
My counsellor encourage me to do the 48 hrs because I told her I was becoming a recluse and avoiding social outings and life (including meals with hubby) due to not being happy with my weight. I have been investing too much time into weight loss and it has hindered my thinking and my body. My brain is always consumed with thoughts about loosing weight and nothing else. I can talk the talk, but not allowing my body to walk the walk (hope all reading can interpret that).
So I enjoyed eating apples and a mango etc and dried fruit with out feeling guilty or trying to hard. i did this all on my days off of UL (or CD).
The idea behind the 48hrs was to have a life and also to reassure myself that I can control my eating without being on a program. I know what foods to eat and know how to loose weight healthily. I owe it to myself to get my life back. I am tearful just thinking, over the past year, how much torment and destructiveness I have done to myself, my mind / body and to my poor hubby who bless never mentions food or dinner out anymore ...... knowing I am always on a diet. (God what awful actions and habits I have created)
As of tomorrow I am going to calorie count and I am very happy to say that I am looking forward to it. I enjoyed it many years ago and was able to count in wine on the weekend and a biscuit with a coffee, when out with a friend. Roll on tomorrow.
My life may actually be about to return! Definitely emotional now.
bronski
Anything But Ordinary
Aww sweetheart *massive hugs* That's such a wonderful revelation and realisation of what you have to do. I know it feels like a year "wasted" but it's helped you learn and realise what's right for you.
Good luck with the calorie counting today, I really hope it goes well and that you enjoy yourself! Relax, live and feel free once more.
Bron
Good luck with the calorie counting today, I really hope it goes well and that you enjoy yourself! Relax, live and feel free once more.
Bron
BREN
destination .... SLIMSVILLE!
Well feeling alot less pressure today. I haven't over eaten and dont plan to. It does feel good that even though I planned my day's eating, that I now have the option to change dinner, as I feel like soup!
Water is about 1ltr and hoping for 2.5 today. Just about to start on the second bottle.
No gym tonight, got to write a job app. Might aim mfor skipping and weights at home for 30 mins.
Water is about 1ltr and hoping for 2.5 today. Just about to start on the second bottle.
No gym tonight, got to write a job app. Might aim mfor skipping and weights at home for 30 mins.
BREN
destination .... SLIMSVILLE!
HI ABZ!
I have felt so much more relaxed about things today, I pray that this lasts. Many years ago CCing is how I lost my last 8 kg's to be 66 and now I have 9 kg's to loose.
I am aiming for 1000 - 1200 a day, with the ocassional day not going over 1350. Today I reckon after dinner I will be on 1280 so not bad for day 1 and then tomorrow i would like to be around 1200 and then gradually 1100 give or take daily.
Bren
X
I have felt so much more relaxed about things today, I pray that this lasts. Many years ago CCing is how I lost my last 8 kg's to be 66 and now I have 9 kg's to loose.
I am aiming for 1000 - 1200 a day, with the ocassional day not going over 1350. Today I reckon after dinner I will be on 1280 so not bad for day 1 and then tomorrow i would like to be around 1200 and then gradually 1100 give or take daily.
Bren
X
abz
Gold Member
well i am spending today programming, and it's very very difficult not to nibble whilst programming. i seem to need to nibble whilst at it, and it doesn't seem to matter what on... have gone through half a punnet of blueberries in what seems like record time. i have another cup of tea on the way, so that will have to substitute for the timebeing 
abz
Gold Member
I DID IT. i did it bren. the sod finally works!! it's taken weeks!! (ok, a couple of the middle weeks were avoidance tactics) but i'm been dreaming about it and now it finally works... my brain doesn't know what to think about now, ha.
i'm ravenous and it's not even 12 yet... hmph. i still have some blueberries left. but am going to wait a few minutes before i make my pasta i think, ha. try and spread it out a bit...
i'm ravenous and it's not even 12 yet... hmph. i still have some blueberries left. but am going to wait a few minutes before i make my pasta i think, ha. try and spread it out a bit...
BREN
destination .... SLIMSVILLE!
Hun presume you are talking about CODE/PROGRAMMING etc! LOL Well done xx
Yeah drag out the pasta for a bit longer. I went on that FitnessPal site and it told me also 1200 a day. think this is the minimum before your body goes into starvation mode. Most practitioners recommend not going below 1200. Personally I will be and I have done it before on 1000 for 7 weeks and lost 8 kilos, just took my vits everyday.
xx
Yeah drag out the pasta for a bit longer. I went on that FitnessPal site and it told me also 1200 a day. think this is the minimum before your body goes into starvation mode. Most practitioners recommend not going below 1200. Personally I will be and I have done it before on 1000 for 7 weeks and lost 8 kilos, just took my vits everyday.
xx
BREN
destination .... SLIMSVILLE!
Yeah I agree. There are lots of things that I need to re teach myself;
sit down when i'm having a meal
you wont starve... there will always be another meal!
eat slowly, stop half way through the meal and have a drink
There are more but for the moment those will do. I'm off to bed. TOM and I am bloated, also I think the root vege soup (homemade) that i had for dinner has also contributed to my swollen belly. Heat pack and off to bed to read my trashy magazine!
Enjoy the rest of your lunch and the day Abz. Oh and yes would love to CC with you!
Bren
XX
sit down when i'm having a meal
you wont starve... there will always be another meal!
eat slowly, stop half way through the meal and have a drink
There are more but for the moment those will do. I'm off to bed. TOM and I am bloated, also I think the root vege soup (homemade) that i had for dinner has also contributed to my swollen belly. Heat pack and off to bed to read my trashy magazine!
Enjoy the rest of your lunch and the day Abz. Oh and yes would love to CC with you!
Bren
XX
abz
Gold Member
hey bren. well my first day was a wreck!! fine when at work, pants when at home, so trying again today. i haven't made the mistake of leaving making dinner until i get home tonight when i'm shattered and can't be bothered. everything is already prepped. and i've brought lunch with me. am just nibbling on cereal now for brekkie in a pre-sized breakfast sized box so i don't have to weigh it out
abz xx
abz xx
BREN
destination .... SLIMSVILLE!
Good girl. yesterday was okay. However I have found that I am incorporating chocolate and biscuits into my 1200 - 1300 allowance and I really l dont want to do that.... just yet anyway. So tomorrow I am going to be strong.
Tonight I had dinner out terriyaki salmon and salad and only 1TBS of rice (find I can avoid that well). So about 1250 today and if I got it wrong then no more than 1350. That's why i like to stick with 1000 that way if i miss calculate i'm all good.
Tomorrow;
B - banana, 1/2 protein bar and coffee
S - strawberries and cammomile tea
L - 2 eggs scrambled and a wrap (instead of bread)
S - apple, sprite, coffee and other 1/2 of protein bar ( the afternoon is the worst time for me)
D - Tuna bake and salad (350 cals)
s - WW mousse
Totals to 1080 cals for the day. Still cannot manage to drag my arse to the gym yet!!! Hoping to get up early and skip rope for 25 mins at home before getting ready for work. Then perhaps tomorrow night I can find the energy to go for 40 mins.
Water was 2.6ltrs today and 5 cups of green tea and only 2 real coffee's.
Babe love your new hair. I'm getting mine done on Sat. Going to stay blonde but going to get a fringe cut. Not a dead straight one but quite a blunt cut if you know what I mean however to the side.
Bren
X
Tonight I had dinner out terriyaki salmon and salad and only 1TBS of rice (find I can avoid that well). So about 1250 today and if I got it wrong then no more than 1350. That's why i like to stick with 1000 that way if i miss calculate i'm all good.
Tomorrow;
B - banana, 1/2 protein bar and coffee
S - strawberries and cammomile tea
L - 2 eggs scrambled and a wrap (instead of bread)
S - apple, sprite, coffee and other 1/2 of protein bar ( the afternoon is the worst time for me)
D - Tuna bake and salad (350 cals)
s - WW mousse
Totals to 1080 cals for the day. Still cannot manage to drag my arse to the gym yet!!! Hoping to get up early and skip rope for 25 mins at home before getting ready for work. Then perhaps tomorrow night I can find the energy to go for 40 mins.
Water was 2.6ltrs today and 5 cups of green tea and only 2 real coffee's.
Babe love your new hair. I'm getting mine done on Sat. Going to stay blonde but going to get a fringe cut. Not a dead straight one but quite a blunt cut if you know what I mean however to the side.
Bren
X
BREN
destination .... SLIMSVILLE!
Going to see how I go Abz. I remember years (6/5) ago being at this weight and doing exercise 5 days a week for 1hr and 15 mins on 1000 cals and loosing 2.2lbs a week. I lost 8 kilo's over 7 weeks. So will see how my body likes it. The past 2 days has been around 1300 so i haven't even made it down to 1100 yet. Hoping tomorrow I stay strong and stick to the plan.
I am going to live life whilst doing this. So if I go over on a day during the week to 1400 or 1500 then back to it the next day on 1200, I wont do my head in over it. Really just aiming for a 700gm average a week for the next 10 or so weeks??? It would be nice to be 68 kgs by the end of or near enough of November ( that will make me 2kg's from goal!!).
Also when I go away in 2 weeks, for 2 weeks, in the second week away (hope you got all that), I am going to do CD ( 3 packs, 2 fruits and a healthy meal). Remember last year I worked this carnival. Well doing CD was fab as I stuck to it and also I didn't have the energy or time to make all my food for the day. The packs were convienent. I only had to make a meal at 11.30 pm at night then in the morning grab the fruit, packs and make a shake to drink on the walk to work at 7.15am!
Would be nice in 2 weeks to be 2kg's lighter!!! Not sure though. Haven't been on the scales since last Sat and I then got my TOM and have felt bloated ever since. I have been ok like I said cal wise but should cut out the biscuits and the odd square of dark choc that I have factored in, at least until I go away.
Bren
XX
PS haven't done any exercise since Sat!!!
I am going to live life whilst doing this. So if I go over on a day during the week to 1400 or 1500 then back to it the next day on 1200, I wont do my head in over it. Really just aiming for a 700gm average a week for the next 10 or so weeks??? It would be nice to be 68 kgs by the end of or near enough of November ( that will make me 2kg's from goal!!).
Also when I go away in 2 weeks, for 2 weeks, in the second week away (hope you got all that), I am going to do CD ( 3 packs, 2 fruits and a healthy meal). Remember last year I worked this carnival. Well doing CD was fab as I stuck to it and also I didn't have the energy or time to make all my food for the day. The packs were convienent. I only had to make a meal at 11.30 pm at night then in the morning grab the fruit, packs and make a shake to drink on the walk to work at 7.15am!
Would be nice in 2 weeks to be 2kg's lighter!!! Not sure though. Haven't been on the scales since last Sat and I then got my TOM and have felt bloated ever since. I have been ok like I said cal wise but should cut out the biscuits and the odd square of dark choc that I have factored in, at least until I go away.
Bren
XX
PS haven't done any exercise since Sat!!!
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