CarlyLanky140 - 2 Stone 0lb down - 9 Stone 1lb left!

Jls is right! I lost 1 this week and am
Gonna try my damned hardest to loose or maintain over Christmas! Try for a loss this week and a maintain over the festive period! You will only be mad at yourself if you put on! I have seen ur competition with sparkles- who will reach it first? ;-) xx
 
Hehe thanks both - I have 7 meals out this week.... no chance of a loss but am hoping to sts :D xx
 
Lol! Mrs I'll be bankrupt soon haha... I have a fair few friends who no matter how hard I try don't kno each other so I have to see each one separately for present delivery lol xx
 
Thanks petal ;) same to u x
 
Just dropping by to wish you a very happy christmas Carly !!
 
Thanks Darling! Merry Christmas xxx
 
Having a lovely day! Been spoilt! :D gonna get bk to ww tomorrow... Got meal out wed and out with Nikki in Glasgow on NYE but otherwise gonna try to be good :) cx
 
I kno this diary doesn't get much action... Gonna try to copy/paste across all 4... Apologies this is a massive whinge....

This is going to be a long and rambling post... It's one where u don't really mind if u get a reply but u just need to say all that's on ur mind....

I tried my best to buy gifts my friends would like... And I got generic tat from people who clearly don't kno me at all! Think the ultimate present is a Houdini puzzle key... Please someone tell me what possessed my friend to waste his money? I kno I sound like an ungrateful cow... And looking back some of the pressies I bought weren't amazing but I really tried and thought about each person! :( anyways enough of that.... I got some lovely lovely things :) I love Christmas but boxing day is depressing.... It's all over and bk to work... I wish my family were like that all year.. No bickering just fun and playing games together not all 4 of us in 4 separate rooms... When I have kids I want a proper family!!!! I want to do anything for them and go to all their plays etc... But even saying that is depressing... All my friends have boyfriends/husbands and houses ... Fair few have kids... And I couldn't be further from all of those things....

I'm repulsive.... I hate how I look... But I'm so skint that I'm worried to lose weight coz I can't afford clothes!!!

My job works me so hard and every day I feel like I can't do it... I feel sick at the thought of going bk... The thought of work till August makes me panic... But in so terrified that if I try teaching it won't be right... How do u kno before u do it?!

Then my little sister who I love and trust and always bounce things off makes a flippant remark "there are only do many times you can say im bored of this" - why does no-one understand that my previous jobs were all a means to an end... Were never meant to be long term..... I left one job a month before I was meant to because I was bullied so badly that I had to go on antidepressants I couldn't sleep so feel asleep at work... I only just weened myself off the damn things 4 years later....

Why does no-one see?!?! I try hard at everything I do... Right now I feel like I'm just waiting to slip up and drop one ball
And all of them will fall.... I work 10-12 hours a day plus 2 hours driving time... I'm exhausted and fed up... I just don't feel like I can do the job... There is always something new to learn and I can't cope!!! Then my darling sis says "how do you know every job won't be like that?" arghhhhhh - does anyone have a clue what I do?! What I need to know?!

Sorry I sound ridiculous... Just needed to vent....

These new job offers are good... But obviously the same job.... Just nearer to home so save £150-200 a month on petrol and £2-5k more a year... But I'm do scared the new place will see how sh*t I am or will expect too much... And worried I will have to pay money bk to either of both for training if I do leave in Aug for teaching...

Most of all I'm fed up of the lack of support from my family and supposed best friends....

I just need to decide....

Resolutions
1. Sort job/career
2. Get to goal weight by new year (and as low as poss before being a bridesmaid)
3. Learn to love myself!


If u read this far u get a medal for reading that self indulgent rubbish! Lol

Snap out of it Carly!

Love to all my Minimins friends

Xxx

I
 
A good old rant is needed some times.

Know what you are saying about nearly all freinds settled down with kids, don't think it will ever happen, just about where I don't think it ever will, forever alone lol
 
The main thing I picked up on that I can say something useful is about being worried about losing weight and going through clothes. Where I live a 16+ clothing swap has started on Facebook, its great I've given away all my old 20, 22 and 24 stuff and been given some 16 and 18 stuff see if there is anything like that x x x

Sent from my HTC Desire using MiniMins x x x
 
That's a brill idea :) might see of there is somet similar! X
 
The lady who started our is a sw member so its just really usefully to get cheap or free clothes when your only moving through sizes x x x

Sent from my HTC Desire using MiniMins x x x
 
I will see if I can find some people to join in : D xx
 
well by some small miracle I have lost 1lb! totally didn't deserve it but I will take it :D so just NYE out and NYD we have a big sunday dinner... but then 4 good days.. so hoping for sts/ sneaky loss.... then taking on 2012!!

I have so much work to do before I go back... have this big portfolio to submit for an exam on 6th and wont have time to do when back at work... best get working on it lol...xx
 
Hope everyone has a lovely NYE! See u in 2012 x
 
Well done on the loss, great to lose weight during this time of the year.

Hope you have a good night :)
 
Well I am well and truly back on the old wagon - smoothie for brekkie, toast for lunch... yummy gammon for tea and a gym sesh this aft.... :D

Hope everyone has a lovely day! xxx
 
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