CarlyLanky140 - 2 Stone 0lb down - 9 Stone 1lb left!

I lost 4lb this week :) another 5lb to be back at my lowest. Will update stats/ challenges later :) x
 
[h=6]Tried a new army boot camp thing today... Trainer tried his best to discourage me but I did my best and pretty much kept up! At just under 18 stone I was pleased with myself :D it's outside 3 times a week... So gonna do that when I can and gym too :) one lass (who I looked at and instantly thought look how fit and slim she is should I go home) came straight over welcomed me and told me she was a 16 when she started :D x[/h]
 
Thanks petal :D x
 
Hello All!

I am here to waffle... I have felt quite emotional today... I read through the new WW mag that was delivered yesterday and all I did was cry.... I have felt like this all day

1. I hate my stupid job
2. I hate my stupid life
3. I hate being alone - I want a boyfriend/ a husband/ a house/ some kids... but firstly I want the dates and the fun times
4. I hate being fat

And most ridiculously - I feel like the only good thing is FOOD!!

I am sick of getting up every day to walk to work... then work for 8 - 12 hours ... then home/ eat/ gym in any order.. then sleep and do it all over again...

Then the weekend is spent either on call or just dreading being back at work....

I want to teach... I really do... I am just afraid... afraid it wont be what I expect.... afraid I wont be able to do it... afraid I will spend that money and wont ever get a job.....

I need to at least try!! I am scared too of handing in my notice.. of working two months somewhere I am hated (I have done that once already this year!).... I am scared of how my parents and more importantly my sister will respond as they are all against it...

But really today... I just feel alone... I feel sick of the monotony of my life... I genuinely felt like food was the only good thing.. that is ridiculous!!! I want life to be more than this...

Then just this evening I have been thinking about where I could have been by now if I was as committed to this as others... I have been on a diet since I was 11!! I once got to goal and since then have never stopped putting weight on... I really want this time to be it... I started a year ago and lost about 2 stone 7 by July and then since then I have been losing and gaining the same stone.... I want to break back into the 16s .... I want to keep going.... I want to get there.... what is stopping me?? Only me! That is the scariest thing... only me!

Anyways... back to the same old thing tomorrow... I am going to walk to work... and then do the military boot camp.. then maybe do a class at the gym... then eat and bed... I will do this.... I have until September... I want to start my course slimmer... and maybe there I will meet a nice fella?!

So back to it in the morning :D another good week and another good loss and less feeling sorry for myself.. xxxx
 
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well done on your loss thats awesome.

About your rant, rant away its your diary, but one thing that stuck out to me was the comparing yourself to others, don't do it you are you and you are where you are, don't worry about what ifs but just think about the fututre and think about where you want to be, think about it everytime you reach for that extra bit of food and think is it worth it.

You will get there, just takes some people longer.
 
Thanks darling :D x
 
Yeah comparing yourself is not worthwhile... there is ALWAYS gonna be someone better or faster! Its taken me forever to lose what weight I have, I've bounced around something shocking. Was up and down through mid 19s/mid 20s in 2010, then the mid 18s/19s in 2011.

If you thought about what you could've done it would be soul destroying.. You're still here and you've lost a lot of weight, never forget that. =) I can see a big difference on your fb photos from last year and now!

With regards work, its a really big decision that only you can make. Follow your heart x
 
Thanks Han :) that's a good way to look at it :) at least I'm down and can only get better :D x
 
I just finished my teacher training and Im so happy I went back to college and did it, I love it so much :) If you can, I'd suggest doing some voluntary work in a school to see how you like it first.
 
I've already done two weeks - its all the time I can get off :) x
 
I lost 1lb this week... Not really sure how but I'll take it :) 4lb more to my lowest x
 
Thanks Han :) well done to u too

Had a really tough day today... Had a fall out with my boss... I have worked 3 bank hols and my contract says I get 28 hols inc bank hols... I said I should get 1 day back in lieu... Didn't ask for 3 just one... But when I first started they paid me two extra days and I told them... They said I could keep it for the first two bank hols... But when I brought it up that I wanted one day back the boss said I would have to pay the days back... I couldn't be bothered to row and just said fine whatever...

This all happened on yet another day where I had worked my lunch and was planning to stay late (I'm there till 7/8/9/10 most days for no extra pay) and so I just flipped... I walked bk to my room took my coat and said "I'm going out" and just went and cried outside! I feel like I work so hard and get no thanks! I worked 3 bank hols and was only asking for one day back!!!

I decided that this is it... No more working lunch hours and staying late. If it isn't done then tough!!! I took about a 20 min lunch and eventually went bk. everyone knew I was upset and the girls were concerned but bosses said nothing. Boss still thinks I'm in the wrong! I'm exhausted. I genuinely felt like just handing my notice in.

But it's just 4 months till i leave for good! I hate this job. I hate the cynical nasty angry person it has made me!!

I can't wait to start teaching!!

This is my second weekend on call in a row and I'm in on Monday. Can't wait till next weekend as I'm off fri/sat/sun and the same the one after :D

I'm gonna have a real treat day today and start totally fresh tomorrow.


Cx
 
Hello all :)

Hope ur all well :)

I have increased my membership from online back up to monthly pass and I'm going to a meeting on Monday - fresh start - gonna get new books, new weightloss card and some of the yummy treats u can only get at meeting :D x
 
Sorry to hear about the job but not long till you are out of there well done on the loss and well done on the new membership
 
Thanks petal :)
 
Hellooooo :D

Sometimes I really dislike my scales/ my body.. Lol

I have been off plan for about 9 days.... I am restarting meetings tomorrow at 5pm :D am looking forward to it... But nervous... Same so-so leader and new people... Really want to make friends like I did at SW... Fingers crossed :D

Now for the bad news.... In a week (Friday morning) I had put on 4lb... I was ok with that... But apparently since then I have put on another 9lb... 13lb in 9 days?! Wish I could lose that much in 9 days lol...

I'll be WI tomorrow eve so probs will weigh similar... No point sulking about it... Fresh start from tues am after the meeting... Gonna reset all my goals tomorrow after WI :D got 11 weeks till wedding... Need to get bk to gym :D

So fresh start :)

Got a lot of social events coming up... Festivals, weekends away, hen dos etc... Gonna try my best to stick to it :D xxx
 
[h=6]All joined and threw myself into making friends - all much slimmer and much older members but all good :) I'm up 8lbs but down 30 still so onwards and downwards. Want 2 stone off on 11 weeks for being bridesmaid :) x[/h]
 
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