Chelsea Lou - The Ventura adventure, not a sinking ship!
- Thread starter Chelsea Lou
- Start date
Chelsea Lou
Gold Member
Thanks Alli, I might even treat myself and put some Berry flavouring in the waterWoohoo!!That's great news!
You are doing so well on CD now - I'm so pleased for you!
Have a celebratory glass of water tonight - you deserve it
Aww, thanks Katy. That means a lot. I do try and laugh and joke my way through life.......when I am not in the depths of despair lol. I am so all or nothing in all areas
Thank you trisha. It may cause a slight problem as do I say I am at goal on my scales in the morning or do I have to go by CDCs in the evening? If I do that then I will be perhaps 9-12 at home. Actually that would be good then it gives me a couple of lbs to play with once I start introducing food into the mix.
Anyway, its a rather chilly but sunny day here, Crush has just walked in and given me the usual cheeky smile.........phwoar
so feeling a bit chipper Jess tried on the Geri leopard print dress that I bought her for her up coming birthday last night and it looks great and will look even more great when she has shed a few more lbs. Just makes me want 4th June to come round quicker so that I can go and stock up with my frocks. Its good being a girl.........men don't have half as much fun
Love you all loads and thanks for sticking with me and encouraging me not to disappear.
xxx
Chelsea Lou
Gold Member
And I love you too...........big muchN'awwww. Love you mum. You're an inspiration.
And thanks about the dress, I love it
Love ya xxx
Jess xxx
xxx
MinnieMel
Why Be Normal?
Hi Yang,
I am so proud of you -- and happy, too! Well done. You are so close to goal and the fact that you are now below your 2009 weight must be so exciting.
I am trying to get back on "task" and work off the remainder and continuing learning how to maintain. I managed a STS despite not being weighed in nearly a month -- and going to and from the States. Plus, not being very dedicated upon my return. I am hoping to start back with my planned fitness this evening, getting my water in, etc. We can do this.
Ying
I am so proud of you -- and happy, too! Well done. You are so close to goal and the fact that you are now below your 2009 weight must be so exciting.
I am trying to get back on "task" and work off the remainder and continuing learning how to maintain. I managed a STS despite not being weighed in nearly a month -- and going to and from the States. Plus, not being very dedicated upon my return. I am hoping to start back with my planned fitness this evening, getting my water in, etc. We can do this.
Ying
Chelsea Lou
Gold Member
Thanks Mel for that and I am equally as proud of you to not WI for a month, go on holidays to the US and still stay the same. CREDIT indeed. It can be done, which is a relief to know.
I am sure you will get back into the swing of things now that you have got over jet-lag and all these long weekends. We still have one more Bank Holiday to go, at the end of this month then plain sailing until August.
You'll be absolutely fine........no doubt about that.
xx
Chelsea Lou
Gold Member
I just don't ever learn!!
I sometimes wonder about myself, my sanity, am I delusional? etc.
I have times when I am thinking that I am ok for someone fast approaching 56. I think that I am (mostly) a nice person, try to be helpful etc etc.
Woke up yesterday morning feeling really hopeful, confident and positive.......then 'it' happened and the downward spiral began.
I decided to go to a local Shopping park, to look at possible cruise dresses, where they have TK Maxx, Next, and the Outfit, which houses Dotty Perks, Wallis, Warehouse and Evans. I found nothing that inspired me but as I was walking out I suddenly saw a purple chiffon number, all floaty and lovely and decided to try it on. I took in a 12 and a 14.
I started with the 14 and the chiffon, the under-dress and my body reacted together and the whole thing became full of static. The under-dress wouldn't go down to the length of the main dress because my body was filling it out so much. So literally in the space of a minute I went from being 'ok' to feeling like a bag of sh*t. In my mind I gained 2 stones in my lunch hour.
I drove home, went to the shop and bought a bottle of cava, a bar of galaxy, a bag of cheese and onion crisps and some bacon, to make a bacon salad (they had no chicken breasts left) oh and 10 cigarettes Had the bacon salad, ate the chocolate and crisps and drunk a reasonably large glass of cava and smoked the cigs. Told myself that I was totally and utterly delusional about crush........well not him exactly as he's married and a definite no-go area, but anyone like him. There is no way him or his equal would ever be interested in someone like me. I am just kidding myself that I could ever meet someone of that calibre and here I sit now feeling almost bereft. What is in my mind this morning is that I am an overweight, 56 year old and destined to be on my own.
One sodding purple dress that looked lovely and flowing on the hanger and I feel soooooooo bad.
I sometimes wonder about myself, my sanity, am I delusional? etc.
I have times when I am thinking that I am ok for someone fast approaching 56. I think that I am (mostly) a nice person, try to be helpful etc etc.
Woke up yesterday morning feeling really hopeful, confident and positive.......then 'it' happened and the downward spiral began.
I decided to go to a local Shopping park, to look at possible cruise dresses, where they have TK Maxx, Next, and the Outfit, which houses Dotty Perks, Wallis, Warehouse and Evans. I found nothing that inspired me but as I was walking out I suddenly saw a purple chiffon number, all floaty and lovely and decided to try it on. I took in a 12 and a 14.
I started with the 14 and the chiffon, the under-dress and my body reacted together and the whole thing became full of static. The under-dress wouldn't go down to the length of the main dress because my body was filling it out so much. So literally in the space of a minute I went from being 'ok' to feeling like a bag of sh*t. In my mind I gained 2 stones in my lunch hour.
I drove home, went to the shop and bought a bottle of cava, a bar of galaxy, a bag of cheese and onion crisps and some bacon, to make a bacon salad (they had no chicken breasts left) oh and 10 cigarettes
Had the bacon salad, ate the chocolate and crisps and drunk a reasonably large glass of cava and smoked the cigs. Told myself that I was totally and utterly delusional about crush........well not him exactly as he's married and a definite no-go area, but anyone like him. There is no way him or his equal would ever be interested in someone like me. I am just kidding myself that I could ever meet someone of that calibre and here I sit now feeling almost bereft. What is in my mind this morning is that I am an overweight, 56 year old and destined to be on my own.One sodding purple dress that looked lovely and flowing on the hanger and I feel soooooooo bad.
Katycakes
Stubborn tortoise
Chelsea, noooo!!!!
I am so sorry hun. Have had so many days like that, when the smallest thing (like a stupid dress that was probably mis-labelled) can set me off into a big downward spiral of self-disgust, and every time it ends with self-destruct. You are only delusional if you really think that you are a/ overweight b/ unattractive c/ past it. I am sorry, but NO BL**DY WAY. If you seriously think any of those things then a trip to the optician is called for, those varifocals are playing up again.
Chels, one look at your profile pic tells me you are one of the most stunning girlies I know. It's not in dispute... we can all see the facts. And you are also fantastically slim yet nicely curvy, dress beautifully, have a bright and bubbly personality and a kind, caring and gentle streak. You should be proud of yourself and what you have achieved, and in spite of the crowds of loons and losers who are out there when it comes to men, there are also some lovely, sweet, all-round lovely guys as well who have probably just about given up on ever finding anyone as fab as YOU.
It was a bad day, a blip day... but that's ALL. It's done, over with - draw a line and move on. (Draws line for Chels....)
________________________________________________________________
I know we are on different plans now but I will never forget you put out the shark nets for me hun and helped to rescue me when I was about to go under for the final time... you are NOT jumping ship at this point. Just not happening. I will tie a rope around you if I have to!
For what it is worth, I think that 'falls' like this are a danger on CD after a while - your body is perhaps unhappy at what you are asking it to do, and all too ready to rebel at the slightest dent to the confidence. And CD makes the falls feel like the end of the world, but really, they are not. Cava, ciggies, chocolate, crisps... but JUST ONE AFTERNOON. Not the end of the world, although it may have dented your confidence still further, I know. DON'T let this be a vicious cycle, as it became for me.
You CAN get back on CD. You don't have far to go, you CAN claw back the ketosis and work through another few weeks, which is all it will take to get you to goal. And THAT will be such an achievement Chels, you are SO close. Don't blow it... (like I did - I am still miles and stones not lbs away from where I want to be.)
PM if you want, but don't vanish or go quiet and pour the rest of cava down the sink.
And one last thing.
:hug99:
xxx
I am so sorry hun. Have had so many days like that, when the smallest thing (like a stupid dress that was probably mis-labelled) can set me off into a big downward spiral of self-disgust, and every time it ends with self-destruct. You are only delusional if you really think that you are a/ overweight b/ unattractive c/ past it. I am sorry, but NO BL**DY WAY. If you seriously think any of those things then a trip to the optician is called for, those varifocals are playing up again.
Chels, one look at your profile pic tells me you are one of the most stunning girlies I know. It's not in dispute... we can all see the facts. And you are also fantastically slim yet nicely curvy, dress beautifully, have a bright and bubbly personality and a kind, caring and gentle streak. You should be proud of yourself and what you have achieved, and in spite of the crowds of loons and losers who are out there when it comes to men, there are also some lovely, sweet, all-round lovely guys as well who have probably just about given up on ever finding anyone as fab as YOU.
It was a bad day, a blip day... but that's ALL. It's done, over with - draw a line and move on. (Draws line for Chels....)
________________________________________________________________
I know we are on different plans now but I will never forget you put out the shark nets for me hun and helped to rescue me when I was about to go under for the final time... you are NOT jumping ship at this point. Just not happening. I will tie a rope around you if I have to!
For what it is worth, I think that 'falls' like this are a danger on CD after a while - your body is perhaps unhappy at what you are asking it to do, and all too ready to rebel at the slightest dent to the confidence. And CD makes the falls feel like the end of the world, but really, they are not. Cava, ciggies, chocolate, crisps... but JUST ONE AFTERNOON. Not the end of the world, although it may have dented your confidence still further, I know. DON'T let this be a vicious cycle, as it became for me.
You CAN get back on CD. You don't have far to go, you CAN claw back the ketosis and work through another few weeks, which is all it will take to get you to goal. And THAT will be such an achievement Chels, you are SO close. Don't blow it... (like I did - I am still miles and stones not lbs away from where I want to be.)
PM if you want, but don't vanish or go quiet and pour the rest of cava down the sink.
And one last thing.
:hug99:
xxx
Greeneyes11
Gold Member
Awwww Chels, I know how you feel, I did the same at the weekend. I went into River Island and took some dresses into the changing room in a 14 and 16 (I was a size 8 when I was at goal) and the nicest one was the clingy one (strangely enough) but I could see myself from all angles and my back looked fat, my butt looked fat and my arms looked fat and I felt I looked so awful that I didn't bother trying them all on (some of them wouldn't even go on)..... but you have lost so much weight and so close to goal, it was obviously just the style of dress that was the problem not you, not everything will suit us all, we just have to find the ones that flatter our shape and we will feel so much better.
Get back on plan 100% today and the excess food will disappear and you will still be on track for next months dress shopping..... stay away from the shops for the next month and you will have a wonderful surprise when you go to try them on next month.... dont be disheartened, I really do know how you feel.....
Get back on plan 100% today and the excess food will disappear and you will still be on track for next months dress shopping..... stay away from the shops for the next month and you will have a wonderful surprise when you go to try them on next month.... dont be disheartened, I really do know how you feel.....
*Shanny*
Gold Member
Ohh noooo chels.. please stop putting yourself down hun I have done the shopping spree thing in the changing rooms clothes not looking right.. feeling tight digging in my skin..!:cry: And looking in the mirror and just see huge shanny.!! Id leave the shop depressed then stop off at marks and spencers and buy.. well the most worse food choices ever.!:sigh:
Chels.. you still have weeks till your lovely cruise so please stick with CD for a while longer and you will be happy you did. (honestly)
As katy said stay with us all we are all here through your up's and down's..
Big hug xx
Chels.. you still have weeks till your lovely cruise so please stick with CD for a while longer and you will be happy you did. (honestly)
As katy said stay with us all we are all here through your up's and down's..
Big hug xx
Chelsea Lou
Gold Member
Thank you KC and GE.
I have been avoiding looking at clothes, wanting a nice surprise in June once at goal and official dress shopping day. Everyone around me, who is going on this cruise, has been buying stuff and, feeling slightly left out, I just thought I would spend a quiet hour getting a few ideas and what happened just sent me away feeling so low. I was shouting at myself last night, as I was opening the wine and chocolate, that I was kidding myself. I am what I am, old, fat, ugly, undesirable etc etc. I wouldn't have spoken to Osama like that so why do I hate myself so much? Why do I think I am so undeserving?
Crush (and that's all it is and ever will be) was nice yesterday. Smiling, bit of banter as usual and I build things up in my head that if things were different with him he would maybe want to ask me out and then I hit this dark, lonely place and reality suddenly slaps me round the face and I know that IF things were equal and he was single, he would never be interested in me, hell, he is mid to late 40's, charismatic, good looking, funny, smart, and would probably want a dolly bird on his arm. When I have landed back on planet earth from Planet Lou it gives me such a jolt and I can't cope with my reality. My avatar picture that you mention KC is 4.5 years old and I certainly don't look like that now......if only.
I'll be ok......but its episodes like this (and I have them often) which makes me wonder if I am bi-polar, although I don't go manic when 'up' Maybe I am just crazy, maybe I have to step out of my sad life in order to cope, focussing on the unattainable to make work and life more bearable?
I feel like I have just launched myself off the world's tallest mountain on the end of a bungee rope.......hoping and praying that at the end of the fall I will bounce right back up again.
Purple dresses suck
I have been avoiding looking at clothes, wanting a nice surprise in June once at goal and official dress shopping day. Everyone around me, who is going on this cruise, has been buying stuff and, feeling slightly left out, I just thought I would spend a quiet hour getting a few ideas and what happened just sent me away feeling so low. I was shouting at myself last night, as I was opening the wine and chocolate, that I was kidding myself. I am what I am, old, fat, ugly, undesirable etc etc. I wouldn't have spoken to Osama like that so why do I hate myself so much? Why do I think I am so undeserving?
Crush (and that's all it is and ever will be) was nice yesterday. Smiling, bit of banter as usual and I build things up in my head that if things were different with him he would maybe want to ask me out and then I hit this dark, lonely place and reality suddenly slaps me round the face and I know that IF things were equal and he was single, he would never be interested in me, hell, he is mid to late 40's, charismatic, good looking, funny, smart, and would probably want a dolly bird on his arm. When I have landed back on planet earth from Planet Lou it gives me such a jolt and I can't cope with my reality. My avatar picture that you mention KC is 4.5 years old and I certainly don't look like that now......if only.
I'll be ok......but its episodes like this (and I have them often) which makes me wonder if I am bi-polar, although I don't go manic when 'up' Maybe I am just crazy, maybe I have to step out of my sad life in order to cope, focussing on the unattainable to make work and life more bearable?
I feel like I have just launched myself off the world's tallest mountain on the end of a bungee rope.......hoping and praying that at the end of the fall I will bounce right back up again.
Purple dresses suck
MinnieMel
Why Be Normal?
Hi Yang,
I think that KC and Linda said it all so well.
I am sure the dress was probably mis-sized -- very few of those Chinese prisoners who make these clothes read English.
I bought two pair of trousers in American size 12 (according to label in them) a few months ago. I am now wearing American 10s that are loose (UK 12) and should be in my size 8s (UK 10) comfortably when I lose another 5 pounds... but those 12s I bought are still too tight. They are from the same manufacturer and are obviously not sized to current standard. I'm not upset (any longer, but I was). I just keep trying them on (every couple of weeks) and when they fit, look okay and are comfortable I will start wearing them. And, to think, if they'd been 'real" 12s -- I would have given them away already!
Next time, if you really like the dress go out and get a bigger size and try that -- forget the number and look for the comfort and fit. And, if they do not have one that fits, well there is the right dress (and SO) out there for you. You'll find it (and them or they you).
I hope you are having a good day! Big Hugs!!!
Ying
I think that KC and Linda said it all so well.
I am sure the dress was probably mis-sized -- very few of those Chinese prisoners who make these clothes read English.
I bought two pair of trousers in American size 12 (according to label in them) a few months ago. I am now wearing American 10s that are loose (UK 12) and should be in my size 8s (UK 10) comfortably when I lose another 5 pounds... but those 12s I bought are still too tight. They are from the same manufacturer and are obviously not sized to current standard. I'm not upset (any longer, but I was). I just keep trying them on (every couple of weeks) and when they fit, look okay and are comfortable I will start wearing them. And, to think, if they'd been 'real" 12s -- I would have given them away already!
Next time, if you really like the dress go out and get a bigger size and try that -- forget the number and look for the comfort and fit. And, if they do not have one that fits, well there is the right dress (and SO) out there for you. You'll find it (and them or they you).
I hope you are having a good day! Big Hugs!!!
Ying
zeke
Gold Member
Oh no! The dreaded clothes shopping I am so sorry that it became such a demotivating experience for you.
Don't worry about what you have just eaten. It really doesn't matter in the big scheme of things. You proved that you can do this (lose weight) extremely well and a few weeks can make a massive difference to how you feel in those changing rooms.
You have such a lovely relationship with your daughter. It actually brought tears to my eyes!
I am so sorry that it became such a demotivating experience for you. Don't worry about what you have just eaten. It really doesn't matter in the big scheme of things. You proved that you can do this (lose weight) extremely well and a few weeks can make a massive difference to how you feel in those changing rooms.
You have such a lovely relationship with your daughter. It actually brought tears to my eyes
!
Chelsea Lou
Gold Member
I know, Jess is a good girl. All three of them are and I am very lucky. Apologies for making you well up. Hope your mascara stayed in place and you didn't end up looking like Alice Cooper.Oh no! The dreaded clothes shopping
Zeke, it was awful and I'm feeling now like I do not want to ever go clothes shopping again.
Don't worry about what you have just eaten. It really doesn't matter in the big scheme of things. You proved that you can do this (lose weight) extremely well and a few weeks can make a massive difference to how you feel in those changing rooms.
You have such a lovely relationship with your daughter. It actually brought tears to my eyes
Thank you for your support and kindness x
zeke
Gold Member
Thankfully, I wasn't wearing mascara! My own mother died when I was young and I have a son so I am always touched when I see (in a positive way) a good mother-daughter dynamic!
Keep chipping away and I am sure that you will have some very happy moments in those changing rooms again! My last truly happy moment was ten years ago now but I still cling to it as my hope - it was when I got down to a size 10/12 after years of being a sz 14. I can remember almost everything about it - where it was, what I was trying on etc. It seemed to happen all of a sudden - it felt so surreal - being in a changing room and feeling good about myself. I would just encourage you to visualise a time when you were happy trying on clothes and know there is absolutely no reason at all why you cannot feel that way again.
Keep chipping away and I am sure that you will have some very happy moments in those changing rooms again! My last truly happy moment was ten years ago now but I still cling to it as my hope - it was when I got down to a size 10/12 after years of being a sz 14. I can remember almost everything about it - where it was, what I was trying on etc. It seemed to happen all of a sudden - it felt so surreal - being in a changing room and feeling good about myself. I would just encourage you to visualise a time when you were happy trying on clothes and know there is absolutely no reason at all why you cannot feel that way again.
Oh Chels - I've just resurfaced after a migraine and then typed a long message and lost it
The long and short of is that
You = gorgeous and lovely
Jess = possibly the best daughter ever (my own excepted)
I sobbed as I read Jess' post to you - so much love between you.
I've done what you've done so many time which is why I hate clothes shopping! For all that I love clothes I just can't stand the buying them bit and so I buy pretty much all my clothes online from 1-2 shops that I know well and know which styles suit me. It also helps that I have a poorly lit house (it's covered in fairy lights and not much else - drives my DH mad) so soft lighting everywhere makes me look pretty good in the morning. I had a swimming costume delivered today and I actually thought I looked good in it. That's the first time that's happened to me but then again it is the first time I've spent serious money on a swimming costume. It had better be sunny this summer!!
Hope you have a nice evening and do something nice for yourself - maybe a long bath or a home facial or something...
The long and short of is that
You = gorgeous and lovely
Jess = possibly the best daughter ever (my own excepted
)I sobbed as I read Jess' post to you - so much love between you.
I've done what you've done so many time which is why I hate clothes shopping! For all that I love clothes I just can't stand the buying them bit and so I buy pretty much all my clothes online from 1-2 shops that I know well and know which styles suit me. It also helps that I have a poorly lit house (it's covered in fairy lights and not much else - drives my DH mad) so soft lighting everywhere makes me look pretty good in the morning
. I had a swimming costume delivered today and I actually thought I looked good in it. That's the first time that's happened to me but then again it is the first time I've spent serious money on a swimming costume. It had better be sunny this summer!!Hope you have a nice evening and do something nice for yourself - maybe a long bath or a home facial or something...
Chelsea Lou
Gold Member
Thanks Ying, I know that a number on a label shouldn't have made me feel so bad. It wasn't that so much as the way it looked, plus the static making it cling to all the horrible bits of me. It did weird things to my head and my mood went from right up there to s*d it in a nano-second!! I'll get there hun. xxHi Yang,
I think that KC and Linda said it all so well.
I am sure the dress was probably mis-sized -- very few of those Chinese prisoners who make these clothes read English.
I bought two pair of trousers in American size 12 (according to label in them) a few months ago. I am now wearing American 10s that are loose (UK 12) and should be in my size 8s (UK 10) comfortably when I lose another 5 pounds... but those 12s I bought are still too tight. They are from the same manufacturer and are obviously not sized to current standard. I'm not upset (any longer, but I was). I just keep trying them on (every couple of weeks) and when they fit, look okay and are comfortable I will start wearing them. And, to think, if they'd been 'real" 12s -- I would have given them away already!
Next time, if you really like the dress go out and get a bigger size and try that -- forget the number and look for the comfort and fit. And, if they do not have one that fits, well there is the right dress (and SO) out there for you. You'll find it (and them or they you).
I hope you are having a good day! Big Hugs!!!
Ying
Hi Trisha, line drawn under it all and today I am feeling like I can continue. One shake down so far
Thanks for your support x Alli, hope your migraine has eased. As a fellow sufferer, I do sympathise with you :sigh:Oh Chels - I've just resurfaced after a migraine and then typed a long message and lost it
The long and short of is that
You = gorgeous and lovely
Jess = possibly the best daughter ever (my own excepted
I sobbed as I read Jess' post to you - so much love between you.
I've done what you've done so many time which is why I hate clothes shopping! For all that I love clothes I just can't stand the buying them bit and so I buy pretty much all my clothes online from 1-2 shops that I know well and know which styles suit me. It also helps that I have a poorly lit house (it's covered in fairy lights and not much else - drives my DH mad) so soft lighting everywhere makes me look pretty good in the morning
Hope you have a nice evening and do something nice for yourself - maybe a long bath or a home facial or something...
I am feeling much more positive today. Thank you everyone for caring so much, especially Jess. You had us all blubbing with your post to me yesterday. I couldn't comment at the time because I was still a bit emotional. At least this 'episode' only made me feel rotten for a day or so....in the past it would have been a good week or more. Progress indeed.
Hahaha, you couldn't be more wrong about the reflection in the mirror Jess. My nasal virus infection thingy is back with a vengeance and I look and feel minging. No sleep for two nights. Last night I was propped up on loads of pillows, as I couldn't breathe lying down, watching the local election results coming in
Swollen, sore red nose, eyes like pee holes in the snow, face hurting, eye sockets hurting.........so very attractive For now I am avoiding scales and mirrors.
I hope all you lovelies enjoy your Friday and have lots of good stuff planned for your weekends.
Love to all
Lou xxx
