crazylilblondie
Pizza addict
Hey everyone!
Well I've been a bit quiet recently, and to be honest Ive completely and utterly fallen off the wagon! So ive decided to start a diary here of my random thoughts to get me back on track and stay motivated
My CD journey:
I started Cambridge Soul Source and for about 11 weeks i stuck it 100% without a single blip or cheat and the weight fell off! I was never a big loser and my weight came off at around 2lbs a week. I was due to go to Portugal on May 1st so a few weeks beforehand i started moving up to SS+ and then 810 where my weight loss slowed to under 1lb a week.
What went wrong:
On holiday i intended to move up to the 1000 plan and still have 2 shakes a day and a small meal. However, I finished my job right before the holiday.. finished my relationship with my long term boyfriend and went into panic mode. I felt lonely and depressed as I was on holiday with my mum and her boyfriend in an empty villa in the middle of nowhere and I sought comfort in food. I found myself sneaking to the local supermarket, spending £20 on chocolate and binging on the lot! Needless to say the downward spiral started there.
After the holiday I jumped straight back on to Sole Source after putting on 9lbs and lost close to 12 in the first week. I ended up about 2lbs to goal but instead of sticking with CD and moving up the maintenance plans I had another binge... and another one... and another one....
Yoyo affect:
I dont want to be one of those dieters who is continously putting on and then loosing weight. I want to maintain a healthy and social and balenced lifestyle rather than seeing every meal as my "last meal before I diet" and then eating everything in sight. Unfortunately the last week has been very tough for me with my job hunting and Ive panicked alot which resulted in drinking, binge eating... and Im afraid to say PURGING. I do not want to go down that route but the guilt of everything has caused this to happen several times a day to the point where my throat is red raw. Ive also been taking laxatives to try and push any of the stuff ive eaten through my body.
New start:
As you can see, Ive clearly got major issues with food and eating, but I believe getting back on the CD wagon, getting to goal and then maintaining properly is the only way to try and fight these food demons within me and get some control of my life again. I had a job interview today for one of the most exciting companies - who Ive wanted to work for since I was 11 years old. But because of my eating I felt fat and unconfident and negative and all i could think of was "as this interview has gone badly you can have lots of food as a treat after".
I dont want to be this person Ive become in the last few weeks, so here is my diary to keep me focused
Thanks for reading
Natalie
xxxx
Well I've been a bit quiet recently, and to be honest Ive completely and utterly fallen off the wagon! So ive decided to start a diary here of my random thoughts to get me back on track and stay motivated
My CD journey:
I started Cambridge Soul Source and for about 11 weeks i stuck it 100% without a single blip or cheat and the weight fell off! I was never a big loser and my weight came off at around 2lbs a week. I was due to go to Portugal on May 1st so a few weeks beforehand i started moving up to SS+ and then 810 where my weight loss slowed to under 1lb a week.
What went wrong:
On holiday i intended to move up to the 1000 plan and still have 2 shakes a day and a small meal. However, I finished my job right before the holiday.. finished my relationship with my long term boyfriend and went into panic mode. I felt lonely and depressed as I was on holiday with my mum and her boyfriend in an empty villa in the middle of nowhere and I sought comfort in food. I found myself sneaking to the local supermarket, spending £20 on chocolate and binging on the lot! Needless to say the downward spiral started there.
After the holiday I jumped straight back on to Sole Source after putting on 9lbs and lost close to 12 in the first week. I ended up about 2lbs to goal but instead of sticking with CD and moving up the maintenance plans I had another binge... and another one... and another one....
Yoyo affect:
I dont want to be one of those dieters who is continously putting on and then loosing weight. I want to maintain a healthy and social and balenced lifestyle rather than seeing every meal as my "last meal before I diet" and then eating everything in sight. Unfortunately the last week has been very tough for me with my job hunting and Ive panicked alot which resulted in drinking, binge eating... and Im afraid to say PURGING. I do not want to go down that route but the guilt of everything has caused this to happen several times a day to the point where my throat is red raw. Ive also been taking laxatives to try and push any of the stuff ive eaten through my body.
New start:
As you can see, Ive clearly got major issues with food and eating, but I believe getting back on the CD wagon, getting to goal and then maintaining properly is the only way to try and fight these food demons within me and get some control of my life again. I had a job interview today for one of the most exciting companies - who Ive wanted to work for since I was 11 years old. But because of my eating I felt fat and unconfident and negative and all i could think of was "as this interview has gone badly you can have lots of food as a treat after".
I dont want to be this person Ive become in the last few weeks, so here is my diary to keep me focused
Thanks for reading
Natalie
xxxx