Dairy Of a Lardy kid aged 43 and 3 quarters...

[incaravanland]

Good luck for tomorrow hun xxx

 

[Micci]

Thinking of you Lisa, hope it's over soon with good news XXX

 

[constantlydizzy]

Thinking of you Hun.......the worst bit is the empty rumbly tum from Nil by mouth you'll be in happy twighlight dream state with the sedation they give you lovely lady and it will be over before you even know its begun xxx

 

[malamobile]

Hope you're feeling okish - thinking of you xx

 

[Beck70]

Good luck today xxxxx

 

[Lisa-Lisa]

It wasn't even quarter as bad as my mind allowed me to imagine <stupid brain!>.

Everything is clear !!!!!! But I've been referred to another gastroenterologist because I'm still experiencing physical symptoms and the consultant today feels that my oesophageal passage is going into spasm when it refluxes and due to my family history (mainly my mum) he wants to keep his eye on me.

So apart from feeling like I've had a couple of brandies I feel ok. My stomach is full of air so I'm basically farting and burping for England.

I've managed the best I can to stick to plan today - but I broke my own rules and jumped on the scales this morning and its showing a HUGE gain :O hopefully that will right itself by Friday has I've not gone over my syns and have no intention of doing.

Breakfast (at 5am): coffees (hexA) 4 dark rye ryvitas (hexB) with laughing cow cheese (hexA).

Lunch: nothing.

Dinner: chick pea loaf (hexB for 40g reduced fat cheese) with beans and SW wedges.

Forgive me if Im not overly responsive for the rest of today, been thinking a lot about mum this afternoon and what she went through. So Im going to get dinner out of the way, watch some TV and then watch my The Last Samuri DVD starring the lovely Tom Cruise of course. Probably have a few cups of tea and some chopped fruit and yogurt. Counselling starts tomorrow, feel this week is just gonna be one massive dark cloud..

Not planning on using any syns today so...

SYNS:
Friday - 27
Saturday - 47.5
Sunday- 16.5
Monday - 0

xxx

 

[Micci]

More hugs ... I'm so glad they didn't find anything. Enjoy Tom Cruise

 

[malamobile]

It wasn't even quarter as bad as my mind allowed me to imagine <stupid brain!>.

Everything is clear !!!!!! But I've been referred to another gastroenterologist because I'm still experiencing physical symptoms and the consultant today feels that my oesophageal passage is going into spasm when it refluxes and due to my family history (mainly my mum) he wants to keep his eye on me.

So apart from feeling like I've had a couple of brandies I feel ok. My stomach is full of air so I'm basically farting and burping for England.

I've managed the best I can to stick to plan today - but I broke my own rules and jumped on the scales this morning and its showing a HUGE gain :O hopefully that will right itself by Friday has I've not gone over my syns and have no intention of doing.

Breakfast (at 5am): coffees (hexA) 4 dark rye ryvitas (hexB) with laughing cow cheese (hexA).

Lunch: nothing.

Dinner: chick pea loaf (hexB for 40g reduced fat cheese) with beans and SW wedges.

Forgive me if Im not overly responsive for the rest of today, been thinking a lot about mum this afternoon and what she went through. So Im going to get dinner out of the way, watch some TV and then watch my The Last Samuri DVD starring the lovely Tom Cruise of course. Probably have a few cups of tea and some chopped fruit and yogurt. Counselling starts tomorrow, feel this week is just gonna be one massive dark cloud..

Not planning on using any syns today so...

SYNS:
Friday - 27
Saturday - 47.5
Sunday- 16.5
Monday - 0

xxx

That is totally great and now you know its ok you can totally focus on getting better in other ways. today will naturally make you think of your mum so do nice things for yourself today - I definitely prescribe a healthy dose of Tom!!! Be good to yourself and remember black clouds do pass and the sunshine is always behind them waiting to come out even if you don't feel that it is xx

 

[constantlydizzy]

Hey Hun, sorry for the late response (check out my Diary....all will become clear lol )

Soooooo pleased it went well yesterday (Hooray for the magic sedative eh ) and I'm glad you had good news. Hopefully by the time you read this you will have met your counsellor & started the journey to getting better xxxx big squeezy dizzy hugs xxx

 

[Lisa-Lisa]

Just got back from my first counselling session. Shes booked me into see the doctor at half 4 today. Seemingly I'm so deeply depressed that I'm not going to be able to work with the treatment until my mood starts to lift I've never been that depressed where I didn't realise that I was depressed. I suppose I am dealing with things (or not dealing with things) in a very unhealthy, head in the sand way and everyone around me is walking on egg-shells. Anyway the counselling is going to carry on weekly and I'm coming off the propranolol and getting put on who knows what..

Food:

Breakfast: nothing at all slept until midday.

Lunch: 4 ryvitas (hexB) 2 low low cheese slices (hexA) salad cream (1 syn) and coffee (hexA).

Dinner: Quorn spaghetti bolognese with 40g reduced fat cheese (hexB).

SYNS:
Friday - 27
Saturday - 47.5
Sunday- 16.5
Monday - 0
Tuesday - 1
= 92

xxx

 

[constantlydizzy]

At least they are finally trying to sort things for you now tho hun. Sometimes you just don't realise how bad things have got when you are depressed you kind of have to reach rock bottom before you can start to climb back up ( been there - got the t-shirt as they say :sigh

slowly slowy catchy monkey xxxx

 

[Micci]

Sheeeeet, that's a bit of a surprise for you? It is true though that is can creep up on you and you don't notice, it just seems normal. I remember doing an online CBT thingy a couple of years back and it said, a couple of pages in, go and seek professional help. I didn't take it seriously, and laughed about it with the Family Therapist who doubtless took careful note of what I was saying. Thank goodness you chased up the counselling. Is she nice? Do you think she will help?

Fingers crossed you respond well to medication as well. XXX

 

[incaravanland]

So glad the hospital went ok hun. Sorry to hear about the shocker the therapist threw at you xxx

 

[Lisa-Lisa]

I know eating a packet of chocolate caramel digestives and a share bag of pickled onion monster munch doesn't make anything better, in fact I feel very sick -_- but that's what I've just chomped down on

It will be an absolute miracle if I get through the next few days keeping on track.

Off to watch some Tom in Minority Report.

Scan at the hospital tomorrow. This week is getting seriously sh!t.

 

[malamobile]

I know eating a packet of chocolate caramel digestives and a share bag of pickled onion monster munch doesn't make anything better, in fact I feel very sick -_- but that's what I've just chomped down on

It will be an absolute miracle if I get through the next few days keeping on track.

Off to watch some Tom in Minority Report.

Scan at the hospital tomorrow. This week is getting seriously sh!t.

Hope gp went ok and that you click with the counsellor. It may seem a bad week but it is the real start of recovery. You've come so far already and things will get better. Don't sweat re the biccies/ m Munch (ooooh I love them!!), its done. Just do your best this week and try not to put pressure on yourself. Let me know how it goes tomorrow. Xx

 

[Micci]

Scan? I hope that's OK. I think you gave me some words of wisdom when I'd gone overboard on something because of stress - listen to what you said to me and apply it to yourself. Yeah, it's horrible feeling sick and hurting because of over eating, been there got the tee shirt etc. Last night in fact, you are not alone.

Sending you more good thoughts than you can imagine over the miles. Hang on in there Lisa, we are here for you. XXX Hope the GP visit re the depression went OK too.

 

[constantlydizzy]

Good morning Lovely lady

I have no words of wisdom that have not been posted today already.....just an abundance of good vibes being flung your way xxx the only way is up now hun xxxx

 

[Lisa-Lisa]

Horrible side effects....nausea, restless legs..spaced out, loss of appetite.

Breakfast: nothing

Lunch: nothing

Dinner: 2 mouthfuls of bean chilli.

K (O's girlfriend) had her scan today and everything is how it should be and we're expecting a little granddaughter .

Just been drinking coffee and juice. Lets see what tomorrow brings :/

 

[malamobile]

Horrible side effects....nausea, restless legs..spaced out, loss of appetite.

Breakfast: nothing

Lunch: nothing



Dinner: 2 mouthfuls of bean chilli.

K (O's girlfriend) had her scan today and everything is how it should be and we're expecting a little granddaughter .

Just been drinking coffee and juice. Lets see what tomorrow brings :/

take it easy xx

 

[Micci]

Oh the grandchild's scan!!!!!!!!! I was worried. What are you on now? I hope the side effects pass very soon 'cos that sounds as bad as severe depression. Sleep well and hope tomorrow is better.