Dannielleas diary, time for change.

[danniellea]

So after reading many inspirational diary s I decided Id like to keep one of my own to look back on when all this is over and I'm a totally new person. So about me and why I let my self get over weight... I have forever been yo yo dieting! (That's what it feels like) it all started for real when I met my now ex husband, we were happy and didn't really care what we ate... Shortly after the wedding day I found out I was pregnant so I took eating for 2 way Ott. Take aways, puddings and so on ( I was never a pudding person before him) quit smoking like a good prego so this likely aided my weight gain. I had a hard pregnancy and the birth of my daughter I still have nightmares about , it was dramatic... So I had my baby and broke down I just lost it 5stone heavier (14stone.10) and only 5ft3in! I suffered Postnatal depression badly and couldn't lose a pound... I joined slimming world and lost a stone... Gave up on it as tbh what diet advocates eating unlimited pasta and rice... So at the begging of this I weighed in at 13.3stones(lost a few pounds solo) I'll post a new smaller weight weekly from now on!

 

[danniellea]

! I got off my lazy backside and did the first run a 5k work out, it was hard going toward the end there having not worked out in what feels like forever but I feel so so much better for doing something, hey every little helps! It's about making life better for my self and my daughter and healthy life includes getting a bit sweaty and red faced!

 

[danniellea]

Oh apple and cinnamon porridge I love you, turns out my bathroom scales have broke so I can't have sneaky wi... Maybe it's a good thing, totm so I'm almost sure I'll be retaining water hopefully it won't show at wi on Monday

 

[danniellea]

Time for a morning swim before breakfast

 

[danniellea]

Turns out I had breakfast at 11.45 and lunch at 2 lemon bar (yum yum nom nom nom) and strawberry shake.debating weather or not to get day 2 of run a 5k done... It's only 3 days a week for 30 mins a day.. Or take today off since I've been and had a wee swim, I should have started on a Monday. Think I will leave it today actually go tomorrow and Monday so I get a wee brake in between each day

 

[danniellea]

Major cake craving! This is what I get for watching next great baker or any buddy valastro cooking shows for that matter

 

[danniellea]

A run(1.85 miles today, up from 1.79) and 1ltr water all before 9am, feeling good now breakfast toffee and walnut (yum) and shower time. Might even push the boat out and put makeup on!

 

[danniellea]

Also I'd like to add I'm so over Chinese take away my family got one last night and the smell is still here making me retch smells absolutely vile. How did I ever put that crap in my body..

 

[danniellea]

Just to keep my self going weeks 4 8 and 10 pics

 

[danniellea]

Nom nom nom lemon bars! Can feel my muscles aching a little now still glad i got that run done.

 

[danniellea]

And given this sun and heat we currently have I'm thinking the black dress was maybe a mistake but hey it's a size 14 and I'm starting to get some shape back!

 

[danniellea]

Going off the original porridge a tad... Could murder a glass (bottle) of red wine

 

[danniellea]

Good morning! Feeling good today having a lovely sparkling water as for brekkie haven't decided

 

[danniellea]

Oh god birthday cake! Seriously would devour a slice resisting so far...

 

[danniellea]

Urgh had lunch early today it's going to be a long day quite sure I can resist the pull of the cake. Feeling really upset and down today though my daughter is poorly sick I'm Lonely as hell

 

[danniellea]

Come on bed time... 2ltrs of fizzy water 2pints good ol tap water toffee and walnut shake lemon bar( usually love both but nothing will fill this cake shaped hole... Still haven't touched any) I don't like weekends right now probably due to feeling like I'm missing out (on a hangover and a plethora of junk food) I'm not missing anything nice, just feel like I don't have any 'treats' no drink no caffeine no food no smokes... I don't think I'm ready to stop smoking. I need to for the sake of health!

 

[danniellea]

The drudgery! Wow I really hate Sundays! So had my apple and cinnamon porridge... Early again, I really do eat from boredom and emotions really need to replace that feeling I have been wanting to get out and do my 3rd run even though I'd a heavy night of smoking last night I don't understand how I can be bored with my little one. Quite depressed loneliness, boredom and some self abhorrence even though I'm 2stone lighter... Feel better than I did 10 week ago...but come on 'only' 2 stone in 10 weeks 100% all the way then I read others diary saying they cheated and feel bad but still can lose 5lb that week I have stuck to this like I said 100% all the way... It feels unfair I've lost 2lb a week since week 3 and last week I lost 1lb first day totm was wi, then wi tomorrow I'm seriously not looking foreword to it because if its a sts or 1lb I'll be gutted

 

[danniellea]

But still any loss is good I know just want more

 

[Simbelmyner]

Hold on, you can do this! You're worth it to feel better about yourself

 

[danniellea]

Hold on, you can do this! You're worth it to feel better about yourself

Thank you, it's just hard at the moment I'm not giving up I just need some fun it's been heluva year so far things can only get better right?!