Day one of getting life back

Work referral x got 12 weeks gym for £15.00 as well of your bmi was 25 or over you qualified I have been really lucky
 
Morning lovelies


Porridge with banana 201

Boots strawberry choc popcorn 87

Chicken salad 260

Jacket potato cheesy Heinz beans and coleslaw 460

Hot choc 40
 
Morning lovelies


Porridge with banana 201

Boots strawberry choc popcorn 87

Chicken salad 260

Jacket potato cheesy Heinz beans and coleslaw 460

Hot choc 40
 
Still on plan today feeling a bit down no explanation or problem but still feel like I haven't dealt with everything from the last few months and I am still dojng two jobs x never mind tommorrow is a new day and I have not given in to comfort food so all is good
 
I like the cracking hazlenut and the banana when you can get it and coconut is nice , thanks for the big hug I m
Struggling with work and a few things I have suffered with mood swings/ anxeity on and off for years and I can feel an episode brewing when I get stressed and over worked I get try self in a state for a while I am a really bad insomniac I have had some sleeping pills for the doc and I had my last lot over Christmas when I had some
Family troubles and lost my work friend but the doc will only give me 7 days worth about every three months so I don't become "addicted" but I over the years I have started to know when I am due a bad patch I have been over emotional and arguing with oh over things we would never normally argue about and it's me picking rows and being anxious I also have panic attacks one was over driving in the ice this morning which I have done about 10 times since Christmas but it all became too much this morning and ended up rowing with oh for not helping me and crying for half hour before I went to work not good ! The only good thing is I am going gym in the morning and that makes me feel better x sorry for the blurt. But needed to get it out I think
 
you are really having a tough time - you have to accept that some things you can control and some things you can't. Look at the stuff you can do something about - if exercising is therapeutic for you is keeping you sane - I now understand how you manage so much - do you get any time to yourself and couple time with OH - if not, try and make some - we always lash out at the ones we love best and OH is a man - they just don't get it - if you need to talk, pm me x
 
Thanks so much I really appreciate it everyone around me thinks I am the strong one and I don't really talk much about how I feel but the panic attacks are awful you feel like you are going to die lol , that's why sometimes inam really good with my diet cos it's something I can concentrate on and sometimes that's why it goes epically wrong lol once I am out of control I can eat like a mental person I go I to meltdown mode when I am in my own and literally shovel food on out of packets and stuff I don't even want haven't done it for a good while and I do feel in control at the moment but can see a few signs creeping up, I think that's why it is so nice to have made
Some friends on here that understand and don't have huge expectations, I work three weeks out of four in the evenings as well so I don't get a lot of spare time and don't think that helps sometimes, sorry for venting it makes you feel weak having all these problems and it has been amazing to here people say that they are following what I have been dojng to help them it has made me feel so proud and really helped me x
 
Aww dd thinking of you mate. Hope today is better, its sunny here in London so although its blimmin freezing - that always makes me feel more chipper!
 
Sorry to hear youre having a bad patch with your mood, have you ever tried St. John's wort? I had really bad anxiety and couldn't lift my mood last year but didnt want to become reliant on antidepressants and it helped so much, I had to work at it everyday but I'm fine now and no more St. John's xx
 
Hi all feeling a little better today the gym always helps me so got a good session in before work

Food

Porridge with banana 200

Chicken and peanut butter on brown 250

Homemade tuna pasta bake 550

Excercise 200

Leaves me 300 which is great goin to have hot choc and maybe some toast before bed x still trying to squirrel a few spare cals way for Sunday for a Guinness or two
 
Thank you nice to know someone is there I think we all have rubbish days I think the good thing is I can feel the bad episodes coming on now and can find things to pull me put of it , this all started when I was 18 my friend was murdered and it sent me into a cycle of panic attacks and not leaving the house/ depression I would stay up all night and sleep all day and stopped going to work it was really dark and I have my oh to thank for pulling me out of that place but I am very aware how easy it is to slip back which I have done a few times over the years not to that extent but I know Christmas was starting to push the buttons and I am really trying to stay in control x
 
We have known each other since school so always been in my life really and we are both 31 this year !! That's a long time lol a lot of my food issues are related to stress funny enough sometimes when things are bad I am better on my diet cos it gives me control and sometimes it makes me binge like a nutter x
 
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