DEN'S CWP DIARY

[Denise140]

Hi Denise.
I've just read your thread here and wanted to let you know just how inspirational it was. Your stats are amazing and I wish you all the best for the future x

Awww...thank you!

And thanks Dee, Infiniteandserene and Bostik too, it's wonderful to have such great support and encouragement. An FB friend who does weight-watchers recently said she admired me for losing all this weight "on my own" . Lol! She couldn't be more wrong - I've never felt LESS alone on a diet

Dx

 

[Denise140]

GOOOAAAAAAAAAAAL!!!!!!!!!!!


4 inches of snow outside but I feel like running around the garden in my PJ's yelling.

11 st 7 lbs on my scales this morning which is my revised target (set having spoken to my GP regarding a sensible goal that wouldn't leave me looking gaunt).

So now I'm officially maintaining (you'll see that I lost no time grabbing my badge) although I've still got 4 weeks of stabilisation on CD to do before I can 'fly solo' on a 'normal' food intake.

I remember reading a post from someone who had just got to goal, not long after I started TFR and thinking "one day that'll be me!". I don't think that thought ever really left me over the past 5 and a bit months - however hard it got.

So ......to all of you out there who are working towards your Goal weight......keep your eyes on the prize and never, ever, doubt that it'll be worth the effort - it so is!

Denise xxx

 

[OscarsMum]

Fantastic news - congratulations

 

[Denise140]

Fantastic news - congratulations

Thanks honey! You're doing well looking at your stats! How ar you finding it?

Dx

 

[OscarsMum]

I am loving it! My mum did LL after she had been on steroids and lost the weight but it just seemed so expensive!

My CDC wants me to move onto SS+ at 11st 2lbs - my preferred weight is 9st 2 but haven't been there for a couple of years - but at 45 I may look a bit gaunt at that weight so think 9st 13 is more sensible.

Just hoping I have lost more than the 1lb my scales are showing!

 

[Denise140]

I am loving it! My mum did LL after she had been on steroids and lost the weight but it just seemed so expensive!

My CDC wants me to move onto SS+ at 11st 2lbs - my preferred weight is 9st 2 but haven't been there for a couple of years - but at 45 I may look a bit gaunt at that weight so think 9st 13 is more sensible.

Just hoping I have lost more than the 1lb my scales are showing!

I know exactly what you mean. My target was originally set at 9st 11 lbs to give me a "healthy" BMI but my doc said that at 51 I should probably just aim to get under 12 stone. At 51 she reckoned I actually needed to carry extra weight to avoid problems with osteoporosis and the like. TBH I don't really feel I need to lose any more; I've dropped 5 dress sizes to a size 12, have got my blood pressure under control (off all medication after 7 years) and I don't look overweight. So any extra I lose on stabilisation is a bonus!

Well done on what you've achieved so far

Dx

 

[monicab]

wow well done to you

im starting today very nervous but excited... are u following the higher plans now?

do u have any advice maybe?

 

[OscarsMum]

Oh fab that you have no meds anymore - being healthy is so very much more important than being a size 8!

With 4 children and my own business being healthy is very important to me! Xx

 

[Deezer]

OMG!!! Well done hun!!! So proud of you!!!! AMAZING!!!!

You have done brilliantly!!! X

 

[Denise140]

wow well done to you

im starting today very nervous but excited... are u following the higher plans now?

do u have any advice maybe?

How are you getting on hun?
Advice wise......just the same old - drink LOADS of water, I aimed for 3.5 to 4 litres per day. The CD water flavourings really help with that so once you're allowed them, get them! Also take something to keep you 'going' - don't let yourself get constipated.
Finally gradually increase your level of activity; I started with swimming and found that it not only helped to build stamina but also it was a distraction and got me away from the house and the kitchen and food!

Keep in touch!

xx

 

[Denise140]

Hmmmmmm.........need to give myself a bit of a talking to!

I'm on 1200 calories now, step 4 of 5 on the CD plan and officially maintaining, having reached my 11.5 stone revised target.

But.....can't help feeling REALLY disappointed with the 2lb loss I've clocked up over the past 6 days.

Oh I can explain it....

a) extra 100 calories per day on this step - my body needs to adjust and stabilise
b) TOTM looms
c) less exercise demands - Wii fit rather than running/swimming because of the weather
d) I've cut back on my Movicol because I'm now eating fruit and veg and I didn't want the opposite problem! So now not going as often!


and I SHOULD be able to accept it but I STILL keep hoping for big losses and feeling cheated!

Why can't I just be satisfied?

 

[OscarsMum]

Denise I found that even when I was 9st 2 I was happy in clothes but always wanted to be firmer, or taller, or blonder! Hopefully now I will be happy when I reach 9st 13 and just accept this is me and I am 45 and my boobs are saggy and tummy has grown 4 babies so never going to be a super model.....but I know I will never be 100% happy! Maybe I need some therapy to appreciate all the good bits and remember the bad bits are only in MY head...as we are always super critical of ourselves!

The fact is you are still losing - which I fab!

 

[Deezer]

Hmmmmmm.........need to give myself a bit of a talking to!

I'm on 1200 calories now, step 4 of 5 on the CD plan and officially maintaining, having reached my 11.5 stone revised target.

But.....can't help feeling REALLY disappointed with the 2lb loss I've clocked up over the past 6 days.

Oh I can explain it....

a) extra 100 calories per day on this step - my body needs to adjust and stabilise
b) TOTM looms
c) less exercise demands - Wii fit rather than running/swimming because of the weather
d) I've cut back on my Movicol because I'm now eating fruit and veg and I didn't want the opposite problem! So now not going as often!


and I SHOULD be able to accept it but I STILL keep hoping for big losses and feeling cheated!

Why can't I just be satisfied?

I am exactly the same.... But you have to remember ITS TILL COMING OFF!!!! And thats all that matters hun!!!! Your at goal.... Be proud and relax a little.... Enjoy your slimness!!!! : ) XXX

 

[Denise140]

Oh dear! Fell off the wagon with a bump yesterday!

4 crumpets with butter! :break_diet:

Not all at once .....just KEPT going back during the day!:sigh:

Just like the Christmas Cake incident - don't know why I just suddenly lost the plot.

The two incidents do have one thing in common though......slowed weight loss. I think psychologically it's that old comfort eating demon "ah go on Denise you've been good and you haven't lost so you might as well...."

Did I feel better? Not really. A vague sense of "stuff you, why should I miss out when I've lost all this weight? " but overall just felt ashamed of myself. I did it in secret too which is not a good sign .

On the plus side I'm very focussed this morning, the scales have issued swift punishment in the form of a 1lb gain and I'm very determined that there'll be no repeats.

Right! Suck it up Denise! You've got to lose that 1lb all over again now, just at a time when you're finding it hard to shift - serves you right!

Onwards and inwards

Dx

 

[Deezer]

Don't worry about it hun.. It'll be a bit of water from those naughty carbs!!! Will be off in no time.... You are allowed a wee treat every now and then....

You have done amazingly well hun and just look at your stats to see the proof!!!

My only worry for you is you did it in secret!!! Did you do that before.... I used to... Now i do every now and then... Wonder why we do it!!!

Grab hold of that mojo and stick back in your pocket!!!

Your amazing!!! Be proud!!!

You managed to get out running yet hunni???

XXX

 

[Denise140]

Thanks Dee.

Feeling better for having 'fessed up' on here and I've been good today. The secrecy thing is what bothers me too.....that was my MO before; sneaking cakes, sweets and crisps after everyone else had gone to bed or shoving them in my pocket and sloping off to eat them in private. As if the fact that nobody saw me do it meant that I could pretend I hadn't eaten them. Sometimes I think I even convinced myself!

I'm glad the scales punished me this morning in a way. It made me face up to the consequences of losing control.

If that was a stick then the arrival of my Lady Pirate costume this morning was the carrot. I take part in the local Scout and Guide Gangshow every year and always cringe at my size when I see the DVD. This year I'm cast as a pirate in one number and I decided that I was going to have a flattering costume. I found a lovely one on the Internet and it fits beautifully, really showing off my waist. I ain't gonna cringe this year! So no more ruddy crumpets for me!

Dx

 

[Louloubellehoney]

Denise... great thread hun
I used to eat in secret too... seems a very common thing eh... well done btw youve come sooooo far!! XXX

 

[bluegirl]

I've liked your post lovely, but I'm not sure "like" is what I mean, Its more I understand and I've been there, and know I could so easily go back to that secretive person. Ive probably been more honest in my diary here than I have ever been to a single person, its refreshing and I know its always going to be a battle that we'll all have.

Good luck on the next bit, that I have no doubt that this is where the real test begins xx

 

[Denise140]

I've liked your post lovely, but I'm not sure "like" is what I mean, Its more I understand and I've been there, and know I could so easily go back to that secretive person. Ive probably been more honest in my diary here than I have ever been to a single person, its refreshing and I know its always going to be a battle that we'll all have.

Good luck on the next bit, that I have no doubt that this is where the real test begins xx

Thanks Bluegirl! There are a lot of secret eaters out there, even amongst those fortunate enough not to have a weight problem!

It is the main battle for me, which is why I'm so cross with myself. I KNEW that was my problem and I'd promised myself that if I was going to allow myself a treat then it would be in company - no lone munching!

Well, smacked wrists! All part of the learning process. I WILL adjust, I WILL NEVER, EVER be obese again!

No crumpet could ever taste good enough to be worth growing out of my lovely new wardrobe!

xx

 

[Denise140]

Well.....major motivator !

Managed to get myself a pair of high heeled knee boots (can't normally get my chunky little stumps in to knee boots!).
Now they are gawwwwwwjus and I feel a million dollars in them BUT they only just fit so I can't afford to slip up by so much as a whiff of a buttered crumpet or I won't be able to wear them!

On the down side; hubby is away on business for the first time in absolutely ages and for the first of many trips this year so it's going to be tough and I'm going to have to be on my guard against those little voices in my head that tell me that I'll feel better if I have a treat.

Onwards and inwards.......and think of the boots D!

xx