Developers

[peony]

Thanks for your post Mel hon. I am feeling much happier after a session of body balance which is my favourite and my best.

What's up? Is it the relentlessness of family life/work/studying/dieting?! You have an enormous amount going on, and I guess the vibe at work can't be very good at the moment - so many plates to keep spinning up in the air. You are going to get down days - I hope it is that and nothing on top has happened.

It's hard to see the wood for the trees some times I know - but by summer you'll be well into your course, and a skinny minny to boot. The sun will shine and we'll actually be able to go to the pub in the sunshine and have the odd glass of wine. It's thinking of things like this that are the only thing that gets me through when I am feeling down at the moment. Pick out a couple of things you are looking forward to and really imagine them.

Hope you are feeling a bit better soon.

 

[peony]

oops guess I should be looking forward to non food or drink related pleasures - but hell whatever gets me through!

xx

 

[melarnz]

Thanks peony. Work is crappy at the moment. Working under the cloud that I could be made redundant any day. My other half is really unhappy at work too, but cos I am being made redundant cat do anything about it yet. I had another blip last night and AGAIN feel bad about it ( blah blah blah about that, same old story you guys must be fed up with my blips) I don't feel I haveanything fun incorporated into my life at the moment, and I suppose food was always my enjoyment. But now I don't have that I just feel deprived. Off out tonight on a work do, at a restaurant. I will do the right thing and take my packs ( I only ever eat in secret after all) and no doubt will feel wonderfully smug afterwards. Just feeling deflated today. I think I need to look at some fat pictures.

I'm also bit naffed at not getting to spend much time with hubby. We r both so busy I'm not seeing much of him. We r kind of living around each other at the moment, rather than spending time together. I know he feels the same, so there isn't a problem between us that more time or less workwouldnt fix.

Bet u r sorry u asked now lol XXXXXXX

 

[peony]

Course I'm not sorry I asked. I really understand that sometimes you and your partner seem like automatons that just do chores and work all day long - Just telling the other what needs doing and when (with the occasional nag thrown in lol!)
I also really know what you're saying regarding that food was one of your few pleasures and now you can't even have that - well not openly at least. One of the biggest reasons I ended up weighing 20 stones and 9 lbs was entirely down to that. After a hard day at work and running round after the family and house, looking forward to my tasty dinner, wine and treats was really what got me through the latter part of the day. We have got to find other pleasures or we'll put straight back on what we lost.

You are probably carrying guilt about your secretive munching and I bet that is not helping your overall feelings about yourself. Please try not to feel bad about it - I have said before about how hard this diet is, you mustn't give yourself a hard time for faltering.

You need to identify ways to focus back on the end goal. What about a rewards system - and hang the expense. Seriously, at the moment you need major rewards for what may seem like small achievements. For example, if you get through tomorrow 100% really reward yourself - book a manicure or buy posh bubble bath if that floats your boat (Grumpy Cow bubble bath by cowshed is a fave of mine!). Set your sights one day at a time. Go to bed early and whenever the secret muncher calls, tell her where to go!

Good luck honey pie.

Love ya
x

 

[melarnz]

You are right Peony - I havent set myself any reward goals for ages!!

I will wipe the slate clean....(AGAIN!) and start again.....after all, i only have 34lbs to go xxx

Thanks x

 

[peony]

That's my girl. Target one: Get through tomorrow 100%, target two: Get through Sunday 100% etc. etc.

Good luck tonight - I avoid these things like the plague - I have never got into that place where I feel ok going out and seeing others eating - can handle food being eaten by others at home, fine preparing it for them too, but am just not big enough to put myself through it in restaurants.

Laters
xxxx

 

[pancras]

Hi Ladies

I hope you are all feeling better. Peony and Mel you are both been too hard on yourselves. Peony you have done extremely well and two indiscretions during your entire journey, should not get you too down. At least your indiscretion will not have gained you any weight. Mel it's easier said then done I know but don't got caught up in the negative trap of things you have no control over. As peony says treat yourself, be a bit more self indulgent, you deserve it. In fact we all deserve it. We have all done well sticking to Lighterlife and we should pat ourselves more on the back for staying on the journey, no matter if it is the straight or scenic journey.

 

[peony]

Great post Pancras - thanks. You are so right - we have all done very well and need to give ourselves recognition for that fact. I am now going to treat myself to a lovely bath in a peaceful child and husband free house and reflect on that.

Have a good weekend darling.
xxxx

 

[melarnz]

I am confessing to a sin tonight.....i have talked it through with hubby, and I wont go into details (for your sakes) but tomorrow I am going to set some new goals, with rewards and start my lighter liffe journey again.

Tonight we are going out as a family and going to play some family wii (i have just go the wii dance for my daughter, and it is wicked!!) its going to be lovely feeling like normal again for one evening. Cleaning, cooking, washing, studying and diet is out of the window tonight, and we are going to spend the evening as a family enjoying ourselves.

I know I can hear some of you (or maybe my little conscience) saying you dont need food to enjoy as a family however, I feel like all my family need a good well fed evening.

xxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[peony]

Enjoy it honey. So pleased you have talked to your OH. I think a new slate without carrying guilt with you is just what the doctor ordered. X

 

[melarnz]

Ok here goes......no negative comments, no guilty feelings, it's the 1st day on the rest of my journey. Time to set some goals!!!!

 

[peony]

Go for it Mel. Treat today like day 1. Reward yourself for getting to the end of it.
xxxx

 

[melarnz]

I am pretty chuffed actually.....I got into my 1st pair of size 14 trousers this morning. I bought them yesterday as another thing to aim for, and they fit. They were a bit snug, but where I so sqidgy at the moment, it all folded in lol.

Also, my one and only bra that fit me was getting too bcig. So i ordered 2 more, one with a smaller cup and the same bk size, and one with a smaller back and the same cup. I have gone down ANOTHER back size. I am a 32H now. Its crazy. I can believe im still a size 16 with a 32 inch back.

So far so good today. Ive had my shake, my bar is in the fridge for later and am going out with the girls his afternoon. Feel strangely calm, not interested in eating. Im curious about the damage ive done, but i going to try not to weigh myself until official weight day.

im looking forward to study later, i need to catch up. Havent done much this week (wagging finger at myself) but luckly, i did get ahead of myself by a few weeks, so i am not stressing yet.

 

[slendablenda]

Great attitude Mel

It's so good to hear you being positive and focused.
You are doing so well. Congratulations.
Fantastic about the jeans.
I think so many of us had a blip ofconfusion nearing goal.
So many positives from other people, fitting into "normal" clothes etc.
It almost feels unneccessary to carry on to the goal. Our previous behaviour tells us we should be rewarded with - treats =food and/or drink!
NOT - there are so many different treats.
My OH has become much more thoughtful
when giving me treats nowadays. It's not always going out for a meal. And I can think of oodles of different ways to treat myself. A favourite is having more time for "me" or spending time with my female friends.
Look for new ways to treat yourself.
You'll be at goal in no time - and you'll still have those magnificent boobs by the sound of it.
Summer will be here soon.

 

[melarnz]

I am feeling hungry, fat, gutted and generally miserable.

NOTE TO SELF: DONT BREAK THE DIET!!!!!!

 

[peony]

Don't break the diet Mel
You can get through today.
Do you want to go back to where you came from? I didn't think so.

Remember IT'S ONLY FOOD.

(At least that's what I try to tell myself!)

Good luck hanging in there through today.

Love ya
xxxx

 

[melarnz]

It's amazing how strong you have to be on this diet. The big stuff, like restaurants and cooking I'm ok. It's the left overs and stuff u never used to want I find hard!!!

 

[peony]

I think it might be cos yu have to really have to psych yourself up for the big stuff and maybe are better prepared, the other stuff can slip under the preparedness radar?

I am meeting a couple of old friends for a drink tonight - they haven't seen me in months but are already forewarned as they had asked if we wanted to meet up for a meal, I asked if we could meet for a drink instead as I was on a 'very restricted' diet. They were fine with that - guess I am gonna have to spill the beans on it to them tonight. I know they will be supportive, but you know me, don't like talking about VLCD's with folk really.

Wishing so hard I could have a massive glass of wine tonight but hey ho, if I stick to the sparkling water I hopefully will shift this last 2 stone sooner rather than later and can re-introduce the wine as and when then.

Good luck getting through this evening gorgeous.
xxx

 

[peony]

Surgery

By the way - have you had any thoughts about surgery when this is all over? I laughed when you said on one of the threads about being able to squidge yourself into the size 14 - I am sooooo there too, I think it is one of the reasons I feel like I am not really the clothes size I am - because especially tummy - is sort of soft and you could squish it in anywhere lol!

I am undecided about how I feel about surgery after - I am a massive chicken when it comes to pain and discomfort - I thought I might go see my doctor when I am just into healthy bmi and ask to be put on the waiting list for a tummy tuck - I think you have to maintain for a while and I might as well be on the list whilst waiting - or at least checking out what the process is. Then maybe if I do get offered it I could make the call then whether it was something I want to go through with. It's the thought of being out of action when I have so much on all the time that is also a concern.

I have got groovy bingo wings too but they don't bother me so much, I think on the whole I have been pretty lucky - I have lost 1lb shy of 9 stone so far and it's only my tummy that has really born the brunt and I know even that could be much worse than it is.

Have you thought about this stuff Mel/Pancras/anyone else reading this?

xxx

 

[melarnz]

You too Peony (i am a bit jealous, I could do with going out for a drink with the girlies tonight!) I find it fasinating how different everyones journeys are. I have not been bothered in the slightest with alcohol. I was never really a drinker before, and I doubt I will be when Im 'normal' again.

What I find weird is where this 'want' for crap fast food and chocolate comes from! I would love to know why I want to each as much chocolate as my body can handle. Why do I want to eat greasy fast food, instead of nice healthy food.

I would love to know where it stems from. I remember in the video, one guy was saying how much he was looking forward to eating a crisp piece of lettece, or a juicy tomato?!? I wish I was like that!! I just want a crisp crisp and a juicy slice of pizza.

why did we find it so easy at the beginning, but now we are nearly there, its so hard? Im wondering if its because our journey has been a long one compared to most, or do most people get like this when they are nearing their end point?

However, so far so good today!! So thats a positive. I will just have to take 1 day at a time and see it through to the end. Its not forever!