Did RTM but still back and feeling bad

[rosieposie]

OOps i think I posted this in wrong place first time, sorry

Hi
help please
I'm a returner who did full RTM and attended maintainer meetings for a while struggling to maintain and here I am back heavier than I was when I started LL last time.
I went to first weigh in group on Tuesday and there were 2 other returners in the group. They had suffered traumatic events in their lives which had caused them to lapse.
I felt really bad sitting there with no excuses and just really felt a failure as I hadn't any justification for putting weight back on.
This has now made feelings of "it won't work I'll just put it all back on" resurface and this is niggling away at my positiveness.
Also reading threads on here everyone seems to say that answer is doing RTM
Well it wasn't the answer for me last time.
However I have to admit to over 40 years of yo yo dieting.
Can anyone help please
:sigh: :sigh: :sigh:

 

[eatlikeabird]

Hi,
I haven't done LL before but I have yo-yo'd for 30 years. I think when I have gained again after losing it was because in my head I justified certain things...
I can eat 2000 calories a day
I can have sweets again
I can have starchy carbs 6 times a day

I have learned that I can't think I can have 2000 cals per day.
Its up to 6 portions of starchy carbs, not 6 times a day, and I think that is too much for me cause I'm very efficient at it going straight to sugar and to fat.
I can't have sweets/desserts every day for the same reason of it really does go straight to fat for me.
I think doing RTM does help to keep portion sizes and variety of foods under control. The problem is after that we don't stick to what we ate on RTM.
It is really hard. We just have to keep trying, and keep following maintenance to nip the gains in the bud before it gets out of control.
I have lost significant amounts of weight before but gained it all back. This time I'm going to try to change my mindset to low carb eating and portion control during maintenance.
Stay positive, you know this will work to shift the weight. You will be so happy at goal and now you know the pitfalls to avoid after.

 

[rosieposie]

thanks Eatlikeabird
all that you say is so true.
I also think that last time as before with so many diets I thought I've been so good and deprived myself for so long I deserve to eat all those nice things. I also thought LL is so easy I've got it cracked, I can just adjust when i need to.
Of course all this was the old "crooked thinking"
I need to accept that if I want to stay thin I cannot eat all the things that other people do and definitely not eat the same quantities as I used to.
So now you've encouraged me, I need to stick with it and then work extra hard on right thinking when I get to a healthy weight.
Congrats on how well you have done and are doing.
thanks again

 

[Lucilou]

Hi rosieposie
I did RTM first time after doing total and losing 6 stone about 6 years ago and have still messed it up twice so you are not alone! I am back on total now after doing lite two years ago and losing what I wanted then putting it back on. My moto is don't look back look forward, and even if I come back again and again I am determined to master it eventually! Good luck.

 

[rosieposie]

Hi Lucilou
That does seem right, look forward not back
Good luck to you this time

 

[Spanglymum]

Hi Rosie. I feel bad too. Lost five and a half stone a couple of years ago and maintained well for a year with a couple of blips. But recently have gone out of control and gained loads in a very very short time - carbs and alcohol do it for me.

I haven't gained it all back but still feel like a failure :-(. Am starting back on packs this week as for me, feeling overweight is a trigger in itself so I want to get the weight off asap.

 

[rosieposie]

Hi Spangly
Carbs & alcohol & chocolate are my downfall and then the sugar addiction kicks in and I'm ballooning and gain so quickly
Well I'm on wk7 now and apart from a couple of blips on Sundays doing well so there's hope for you isn't there
I do hope you can get started this week as that's the first big hurdle and then we're all here to help with the next ones
You're doing well to get back before it all goes back on
So let us know when you start (make it as soon as possible) and then we'll all go from there
Good luck

 

[Spanglymum]

Am starting tomorrow! I would have started today but i have a lunch meeting with editorial and an author (quite a rare event) and really didn't want to be explaining myself to people I hardly know. So tomorrow - packs it is! When I run out of LL ones I'll be using Exante, as my LLC disagrees with me going back on packs because she's worried I'm using them as a crutch. Thing is, I know if I stay this big I will use THAT as a cue to think 'sod it' and get even bigger, so I know I need to do this.

The old me would have done what my LLC wanted - even if it made me feel bad. I feel strange not taking her advice, but I know this is right for me.

The hardest thing for me is to accept I won't ever be able to have a few drinks and nibbles and stay the same weight. I find it difficult to moderate alcohol, to be honest. I like it too much! Am dabbling with the idea of going tee total but it seems so drastic somehow. It would make maintenance a whole lot easier though. It's not just the calories in the alcohol, it's the fact it makes me crave sweet things and snacks.

I feel like an alcoholic, writing this down, and I don't want to believe I am... Most of the time I don't drink, but when I do drink, I mostly drink to excess if I'm honest :-(

Why am I being so blunt? I guess because I have to be if I'm to stand a chance of sorting my weight management out.

On a different note, I'm trying to find a way of fitting exercise in to the week. I've got plans for one lunchtime a week, as there's a pool/gym near the office, and I've also been reading glowing reviews of kettle bells. Does anyone have any experience? Sounds too good to be true: 20 mins three times a week! I could definitely fit that much in in the evenings...

 

[rosieposie]

Can so see why you want to get it off quick but guess can see whereLLC is coming from but shame she won't support you and encourage you to change your thinking whilst losing
Guess its important that you work on how you are going to maintain for yourself thro the losing time so that you have strategy ready. Also think about your triggers and how you might handle them in future
Also please think about future lunch meeting strategies so you are ready for any more in future
I have such wise words I wish I listened to myself in the past but hope I will in the future.
Good luck tomorrow

 

[Spanglymum]

Thing is, rosie, I maintained really well for the whole of last year - including business trips abroad and evenings out and all sorts of meetings. It just seems that at Christmas I reached a tipping point. Once I've gained over a certain amount and things stop fitting properly, I feel so down on myself that the cycle of overeating starts. Telling myself I'm useless and a failure etc etc. Crooked, eh?

I do know I can do this. I can make the right choices. I can! And I love feeling slim and full of energy. At least I've nipped it in the bud before regaining all of the 78lb I lost originally!

How are you doing? You say you've had some blips on Sundays. Do you know what your trigger is?

 

[rosieposie]

Spangly at least you recognise it as crooked thinking, now you have to find the way to deal with it so you can nip any weight gains in the bud because probably there will be some gain at times.
You have to lose the weight whichever way is best for you and you seem to have thought it all through so go for it and I'll wait to see those losses posted.

Sundays are a trigger because I tend not to plan anything specific for that day as I spend it at home with my DH as I really do need to give him one day out of all the other days I have filled since I retired. I've done this because he has reached a point in his life where he wants to stay home all the time and not really do anything.
So I just need to cope with and learn to handle the thought of possible boredom without reaching for food.
Of course when I get into this place emotionally I can't be bothered to do all the things i could at home to occupy my time and haven't before used the tools I've been given to avoid the thinking. :sigh:
Common problem for lots of people but part of my learning curve.

 

[Jess123]

i could have wrote Spanglymums post myself. The wine and vodka are my biggest downfall and just like you i then start eating. I used to let myself gain around 6lbs and then take it off again, but xmas 2010 i went over this to about 8lb i have never got back down and now am 2 stone above my target. I restarted cd today not doing to bad for a first day. Hope you have a good day too. This is my third time tried last yer but could only do 12 days so i am going to need to be on here alot.

 

[Spanglymum]

I've started a refocusing group in the LL Returners section, if anyone is interested. Jess, I'll be on here a lot too. I was encouraged by your post in that it's so reassuring to know I'm not alone, but on the other hand I really hope you're not feeling as rubbish as I am right now. I am soooooooo big! Weighed myself and it was a shocker. Apparently I've gained 11 lb - since last week!!!??!! I don't really see how that's feasible. I know I've been a bit 'off road' but that's insane! So looks like I've got 29 lb to lose. Wow.

Anyway... Had my four packs, a black tea and loads of water... Now having a black coffee. Bring on ketosis!!

 

[Jess123]

i had my packs got the a bad head , i hve had my water now sat in bed. This could be the pattern for a few nights. I really don't think i would need to do this diet again if i stopped drinking. Just looked at some older post from May last year when i tried to get in to this diet , i weighed 12,7 then lost 10 lbs in five days then another 4 so 1 stone in 12 days but i just couldn't stick to it . Wish i had now because i weigh 13.6 now and feel really big.

 

[Spanglymum]

Me too. Have found you on the other thread. We can do this!! I expect I'll have an early night for the next w nights until I get into ketosis...

 

[Spanglymum]

How's everyone getting on? I'm on day three and finding it a bit more challenging today... Need to push on through and get to ketosis! Hope everyone is ok.

 

[Clarabow]

Hello there Spangly , good to see a face I know. Glad to see you are hanging on in there, even if it is a little blippy for you at present.
Can relate to the alcohol and carbs .. my total downfall. Well back in the ring to take another swing myself. Did not apply or maintain in any way shape of form, returned back to my old habits. Hey ho, something new to learn.

Onwards and downwards x

 

[Spanglymum]

Hello, Clara! Good to see you - although I kind of wish you didn't have to be back here again (if you know what I mean!)

Sigh. How do we sort this out?! Trouble is, alcohol and carbs are just too much fun at the time!!! I need to find a balance...

 

[Jess123]

Same her for me ladies . Dont you think when its warm you would love a glass of wine. The water is not quite the same . Having said this i also think a glass of wine when it is cold is also better than water !

 

[Spanglymum]

Yes absolutely! I think we're definitely not alone though. I was looking at the slim and save website earlier and one of the water flavourings is called 'White wine'! I kid you not!!