feeling confused/sad

Discussion in 'Cambridge Weight Plan' started by slimmeplease, 8 June 2009 Social URL.

  1. slimmeplease

    slimmeplease Full Member

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    hi i have been on and off cd for the past 4 weeks and didnt know why, i have been thinking today about bingeing and have realised im comfort eating. i think the underlying problem is im feeling a bit depressed and think its because i had my baby millie at 27 weeks jan 08, she weighed 1 pounds 10 and was very poorly in hospital for 4 months and then home oxygen for another 6, she is a healthy 16 month old now. anyway my sister has just had a baby boy 4 weeks early but healthy and home quickly then my partners sister has just had a baby and straight home and im jealous because i couldnt carry full term i had pre-eclampsia and nearly died, i feel bitter and angry still after all this time. i really need to address my issues with food im realising now why im eating and need to sort my head out and get back on ss i need to remember what i wanted when i started my journey! sorry for the long post needed to write it all down it somehow helps xxx
     
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  3. incognito

    incognito Full Member

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    Hey..

    I don't kno how much you want to discuss on here so ive sent you a wee pm x
     
  4. slimmeplease

    slimmeplease Full Member

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    thanks, i havent received it yet x
     
  5. incognito

    incognito Full Member

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    Should be with you now..

    Ps, If your not in a group already then join ours ? :D

    A day at a time.. thats all we can do x
     
  6. LizzMB

    LizzMB WILL be Slim!

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    i had Freya 2 months early weighing 3lbs...she was in scbu for a month and binged on food the entire time she was in hospital...it was the only way i felt i could fill the emptiness!
    Now....she is 3...and i'm doing CD for her just as much as for me!
    I want to be a fun trendy mum when she is at school, one that does all the fun stuff with her...not one that lags behind puffing!
    I'm doing a run for Bliss charity in September which is focusing me on my goal....being slim and healthy!
    Food isnt going to change your ability to carry full term hun, and some people go on to have perfectly healthy pregnancies next time. I was the same, had Pre-eclampsia and also a fetal abruption that nearly killed us both...Freya had stopped breathing and it was more by luck then judgement that we are both here to tell the tale!
    Dont let the past dictate your future hun! Your better than letting food make you complete...that is what you have your beautiful little girl for!
    If you ever need a chat, feel free to message me hun :)
    xxxx
     
  7. tillyfloss

    tillyfloss Gold Member

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    Hiya,

    Well done on taking a look into the scary place that is your mind!!
    I think it is one of the hardest things to do, to come to terms with the things that are affecting us on a psychological level.
    I never had a premie, but had a ruptured uterus with my last son, he ended up in scbu, I ended up in ITU, we both nearly died and I spent days listening to people telling me what a miracle it was.
    It took me a long long time to get over the shock, and I never have got over the fact that I have been told it would probably kill me to have another child.
    The thing is, it doesn't matter what it is that causes us to comfort eat, to each of us, our problems can be all consuming...
    What I can say, is that you can most definitely take control back and it is such a great feeling when you do :)

    Over the past few years, we lost our business, our home, I lost my all time best friend and more recently, me and my husband seperated. On top of that I have a child who has Aspergers, goes to a specialist boarding school so I worry each day, and have three others who I now have to juggle for being a single mum. On top of that I am broke.

    I'm only saying all this, not for pity or sympathy, but just to prove that even with a lot of things trying to prove that life is too hard, you can beat those gremlins!!

    I often think that when I was on and off the plan last year, I just didn't feel worthy of being slim, But as Liz say's you can't let the past dictate anything. It is a finished page in your book and the ONLY thing you CAN influence is the 'now'
    To be jelous of your sister for carrying full term is pointless (not in a condescending way) but because it doesn't affect anything other than your sanity. It will eat away at you.
    Enjoy your new neice and nephew, and realise how lucky you are to be here to enjoy him/her a;long with your own baby. In a few months you will also be slimmer and healthier, much more able to be running around after the young ones.
    Remember positivity is the key..... writing down stuff is so good, write down about how binging or over eating will help in any certain situation, how it will make you feel, or made you feel. Then write down how avoiding a binge or relapse will help and how it makes you feel.
    Get your motivations for being slim clear int he forefront of your mind, replace those negative feelings with your new thoughts, the mind is simple and can't keep all those things at the front of the mind... everytime your mind wanders, bring it back to what is important to you..
    You will get there!!

    x
     
    polishrose likes this.
  8. curlywurly1234

    curlywurly1234 Cambridge Consultant

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    Hey hon.
    Just wanted to send you big hugs.. Some of the other girls have given great advice so just wanted to say hang in there hon your doing fab xx
     
  9. daisy2002

    daisy2002 Member

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    My daughter was stillborn at 35wks in 2002. Since then my weight has been all over the place.... 18st down to 10st, back up to 15st back down to 11st, back up to 16st etc etc.
    I am the queen on binge eating..... extreme binge eating.

    With my pregnancy after my daughter who was stillborn i had to have an emergency c-section as i was losing huge clots & was having another abruption. I was really ill & was in hdu & needed a blood transfusion.

    With my next 2 pregnancies i had to have them by c-section at 34wks as if i went any longer i was at an even higher risk of having a 3rd abruption which was the cause of my 1st daughters death & nearly killed me & my 2nd daughter.

    I do feel sad as mad as it sounds that i can't go to term with any more of my babies. However i know that having my babies at 34wks is the right thing to do for my babies & myself.

    Try to stay positive you've been through a lot but you have a gorgeous little girl.

    Maybe you need to speak to someone, talk it all through. If im honest i think i probably need that too. I had no counseling when i lost my daughter & none when i nearly died & nearly lost my 2nd daughter.
     
  10. Leanne1983

    Leanne1983 Full Member

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    Sorry to hear you are struggling but it is good that you have recognised what emotions you are feeling. Now you are aware you can start working towards changing these reactions.

    I too suffered with pre-eclampsia with my daughter (now 8 months). When I was induced, baby became distressed and ended up with emergency section. She was low birth weight, but luckily she is fine & healthy now. Although I know pre-eclampsia can happen to anyone, I know I was higher risk due to my weight. I even felt that some of the staff were annoyed that I would have a baby at my weight. The thought that I may have caused this absolutely destoys me.

    I have put some weight on since she was born,but now I am turning it around. I want to be a confident, healthy mum - a good example to my girl. I would be devastated if she followed my path. Also, I do not want to risk another dangerous pregnancy so want to lose weight before we consider trying again.

    I think it is these difficult situations which provide us with the motivation to change. I hope you feel better soon, and we are always here to help. x
     
  11. Laila

    Laila Losing is the ONLY option

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    Hey hun, when I saw your post I just burst out crying. My son was also born 27 weeks, he weighed 2lb 2oz, was on cpap, had 2 blood transfusions and a pda ligated to his heart to name but a few .

    I know exactly how you feel.... I still feel that way when I see women who carry to full term, I just keep wondering why didn't I carry to full term, what happened what did I do wrong, what did i eat I don't know. When women would come in 4 weeks early and after me and leave 2 weeks later I used to feel like i was the unluckiest person alive, that someone was cursing me, my baby would never get out. Thats one of the hardest parts of being in scbu...

    I had severe pre-eclampsia too and had to go under general for an emergency c-section the whole thing was an absolute nightmare.

    I put on about 4 stone just being in scbu as I couldn't find comfort any other way, and I know what you are feeling. We were there just over 3 months and every day was a struggle, going in when all you wanted to do was curl up in bed and cry and not wake up from sleep.

    Im sorry to go on, I just wanted to tell you that what you are feeling, its normal, I don't think you ever completely get over a shock like that, watching your little one go through all that. But I do strongly believe in 'what doesn't kill you makes you stronger'

    You have an amazing beautiful daughter and prem babies are always so bubbly and full of character, my little one is just such a laugh, i dont know he just seems so special after going through all that!

    Millie was on oxygen that must have been hard for you, but look at her now she looks lovely and healthy and happy.

    I still look at my son and I feel sick sometimes thinking of him in that incubator and the alarms going off when his oxygen levels kept going down. My heart would jump out of my throat and all you can think is this is it, he wont make it. :cry:

    If you need someone to chat to, im always here. Its hard to forget, I dont think we ever will, but we treasure our children, our little fighters who got through so much trauma as such a young age.

    Take care

    luv laila x
     
  12. Leanne1983

    Leanne1983 Full Member

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    I can't agree more, Laila
     
  13. slimmeplease

    slimmeplease Full Member

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    thanks so much everyone i feel much more positive now xxx
     
  14. lunar jim

    lunar jim Gold Member

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    Mrs Lunar had pre-eclampsia with out first child, he was born three weeks early in the end. Our middle child (girl) was born a week early and our youngest was a week late, lazybones. Due to the pre-eclampsia and complications both during and after the birth of #1 child the other two pregnancies were monitored closely by the hospital staff; extra scans etc.

    Yeah, I got that feeling too. We're both overweight and I could tell the doctor was thinking that they wouldn't have to be going through all this if she were a normal weight, this was with each pregnancy.

    And, I got the feeling that people were thinking that our kids would grow up fat, like their parents. Well, I've got two rugby players and a supermodel in the middle (age 5, 3 and 1) lol, they're all fit and healthy...
     
  15. Jessica Rabbit72

    Jessica Rabbit72 Gold Member

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    Hey slimmeplease just wanted to send you big big hugs adn I echo what everyone else has said.

    I have also worked on SCBU and everything that you are feeling is more than normal!

    I really think that it would be a good idea to have some counselling about it as it would helop alot and maybe also join bliss as there will be so many other parents that have gone through the same as you so know how you feel ( like the posts above) I know parents on SCBU feel so isolated and they feel exactly as you do (cheated for not going full term and a failure for not going full term) but they can help you through this.

    Love
    Jess
    xxx
     
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