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Discussion in 'Slimming World' started by MadameLaMinx, 16 January 2011 Social URL.

  1. MadameLaMinx

    MadameLaMinx Gold Member

    Very often on the forums I see someone respond to someone who has had a blow out with something like the following...

    "Ah, never mind, just flexisyn it and move on".

    Now, I understand that this is supposed to make the person feel better about their binge and draw a line under it, but simply, this is NOT how Flexisynning is supposed to be used.

    Flexisyns are supposed to be a way of keeping you in control of your consumption at special occasions.

    They are NOT designed to be an used as an excuse to write off a bad day. If you are going to flexisyn, this needs to be planned in advance of the event or occasion and you should set yourself a maximum number of syns for that day that you will not exceed. If you get to that amount of syns, you are then supposed to switch back to free and superfree for the rest of the day.

    Using flexisyns as an afterthought completely defeats the object of putting YOU in control of the plan.

    It is perfectly ok to say "Ah, you had a blow out, it happens to all of us, draw a line under it and move on." It DOES happen to all of us. We do lose control from time to time, whether that be because we drank too much and thought "Ah, stuff it, tomorrow is another day, I'll order that pizza, and being as I'm out of control, may as well have the tub of ice-cream too" or because we have talked ourselves into it, convincing ourselves that it really wont matter as a one-off. Perhaps we are feeling really down and only chocolate will do, by the cupboardload.

    But by default, when we head down that road, we are out of control, we lose the ability to say no to the stuff we know is not on plan.

    Most importantly, there is no shame in doing so. If we feel guilty about this one-off blow out, we are far more likely to eat more rubbish through guilt and "Well, I have blown it now, I am such a loser, may as well reinforce that message by continuing to eat nonsense". This is where I suspect most of us following the plan can really lose heart and fall off plan for weeks or months.

    It doesnt have to be that way, of course, we can have a blow out, a day off plan, and still have the control to get back on plan right next day. And that means, ultimately, that while we did stop off at a scenic point on route, we are still in control and heading towards our destination despite the stop.

    So please, STOP suggesting that people flexisyn a blow out. They are two entirely different things and people need to start taking responsibility for their own consumption, rather than just passing it off because it doesnt matter. Of course it matters, but by passing the responsibility for the lack of self-control onto a "flexisyn" day defeats the purpose of a flexisyn day, which IS designed to keep you in control.

    Be honest, if you had a blow out, say so. If someone you know had a blow out, acknowledge it, encourage them to move past it, but dont encourage them to write it off using a part of the plan that it simply doesnt apply to.

    /gets off soapbox.
    Mini, jodidi, Sassia and 13 others like this.
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  3. suplizi

    suplizi I see the light!

    Excellent post, and something I think about everytime I see the "nevermind" flexi syn it, but could never type it as well as you have!

    Helen xxx
  4. Jennyonaplate

    Jennyonaplate 2011 is MY year!!

    My old consultant explained to me once that Flexi-syns were introduced to enable people to feel like they remained in control after the event and didn't feel that they had 'blown it'. If it were a part of the diet, in the eating sense, there would be guidelines as to how many syns you can have.

    It's a psychological tool, rather than actually part of the diet, that simply helps people to feel that they haven't blown their diet, and so they carry on as normal. If someone doesn't have a planned day off, but has a day off the plan nonetheless, beating themselves up about it because it wasn't planned isn't going to achieve anything other than guilt. If they can forget about having a 'blow out' without feeling guilty, then they're much more likely to return to the diet with minimal impact.

    This is as it was explained to me by a consultant when Flexi-syns were first introduced.
  5. MadameLaMinx

    MadameLaMinx Gold Member

    Perhaps that was the case when they were first introduced, but it is not how the literature defines it now, and not how it is intended to be used now.

    I agree that we shouldnt feel guilty if we slip out of plan for a night, or a day or a couple of days or whatever. The whole ethos of the plan is that life will occasionally get in the way of the plan but that we can enjoy "life" without having to feel guilty. But the sort of blow out we are talking about is generally fuelled by either being drunk, or unhappy, and so if we are feeling that way anyway, the morning after is a prime time for feeling remorse and guilt about what we did the night before.

    Drawing a line under an offplan spell is important, but it is not within the current guidelines to refer to this as flexisynning, because of the lack of control involved.

    This whole cycle of "overindulgence = guilt" needs to be broken. Because we overindulge, we feel guilty, this makes us feel bad about ourselves, we overindulge more. That doesnt help at all. We need to overindulge, acknowledge the overindulgence, celebrate the fact that we enjoyed the splurge, and move on with the plan.

    Often, an occasional overindulge can actually benefit weightloss, both because we splurge on the things we enjoy and dont feel like we are depriving ourselves, and can stick to the plan better, but also because it can give a sluggish metabolism a bit of a boost and a kick start. If we start to view these events in a more positive light, but remember to keep them as a rare event rather than a weekly excuse to make ourselves feel bad, then we can stick to the plan well and will succeed in our goals.

    And by doing so, we are still, actually, staying in control. Which rocks.
    custardlipstick and Silvermaneuk like this.
  6. rosiepeace

    rosiepeace Silver Member

    Thanks for that MLM :)

    You have summed up what I've thought but been confused over sometimes.
    I tend to just have blow outs - I don't set myself a set number of syns if I'm having an off day - I just keep eating!
    Now I'm going to draw a line under it and get on with doing the plan - WI tomorrow so it's another week :)
    Just want to say thanks for posting this though.
  7. Ela ine

    Ela ine Likes to post, and eat.

    Can someone explain flexi syns? x
  8. Shrimpy

    Shrimpy Gold Member

    MadamLAMinx has explained it really well in the first post. It is when you have a special event, a one off, and to keep yourself in check you allow yourself extra syns for that day only and STICK to that limit. It allows you to keep in control and feel like this event hasn't led to you "ruining it". It is not the same as a binge, it is a planned and controlled response. Just as MLM said.
  9. NewDawn

    NewDawn Bring on the trumpets

    Don't mean to be a party pooper.......I fully agree what you are...but there are times when 'planning' doesn't come into it.....and sometimes people go off track.....and need to draw the line.......this diet is a journey.....and as long as you know you can get back on track....then so be it......don't beat yourself up.....the tortoise won the race
  10. Ela ine

    Ela ine Likes to post, and eat.

    Oops sorry, it skipped three (in my phone) and thank you both!

    I didn't know why flexisyns were,,, but had heard it on here in a 'don't worry - use flexi syns' way x
  11. MadameLaMinx

    MadameLaMinx Gold Member

    Yes, Dawn, there are times like that, but that's precisely the point of my post in the first place. It is not flexisynning to go off track. Going off track is going off track. Nothing to feel bad or guilty about but the ability to draw a line and take back the control over yourself cannot be achieved if one simply writes it off as a "flexisyn day". That's only decieving yourself.
  12. Lonestitcher

    Lonestitcher Silver Member

    Can't rep you again, yet!!!

    Once again, thanks to MLM for yet another well thought out, well worded inspirational thread!!!

    You Rock!!
  13. Alcoholiday

    Alcoholiday Full Member

    This post should be made a sticky, it explains exactly what Flexi-Syns are and it is explained in a very easy to understand way.

    Well done on a brilliant post MLM ;)
  14. lurverick

    lurverick Now to maintain.....

    haha i also am not allowed to rep you!
    what a fantastic post!!! agree that this should be made a sticky as its the most 'mis used' thing on sw.

    hurrah for you for getting on that soapbox!
  15. MancBird

    MancBird Always comes back to MMs!

    Absolutely, there is a marked difference between going off plan completely and flexi-synning, well done to MLM for reminding everyone of the difference! Great post xxxxx
  16. eternity

    eternity Gold Member

    There are quite a few of us who try to dispell the idea that you can flexi-syns and unplanned blow out, but the myth still runs around on here.
    I also remember when flexi-syns were first introduced and they were always explained as a tool for special occasions by my Consultant, so I guess that, at the time, the idea was being misunderstood or misused all over the place!
    Call a binge a binge and you're less likely to do it again, call it a flexi day and you might think it's condoned by SW.
    I remember a post a little while back, I think it may have been by CocktailPrincess which said

    1. Using syns weekly = adding up all your syns at the beginning of te week and deducting when you use them.

    2. Flexi-synning = when you have a special occasion allowing yourself a set number of syns so that you have some control. You still have your daily syns for the rest of the week. You might not lose weight on a week when you have a flexi-syn day.

    3.A binge = Eating everything in site with no control, unplanned
  17. Derbynanny

    Derbynanny Gold Member

    FANTASTIC POST I think this everytime i see it but you have explained it so well. Exactly the difference between going off plan and flexi syns there should be no guilt in either as that can stop you getting back OP but they are different things.
  18. Derbynanny

    Derbynanny Gold Member

  19. downsizingmycurves

    downsizingmycurves Silver Member

    I agree. When we flexi syn we use extra syns, when we go overboard we use extra syns. Yes one is carefully plotted and planned and the other random but the result in terms of intake can be the same and so if it helps a member to think of an off day as flexi synning, then I dont think that is a problem even if it is technically incorrect.

    SW to me is about finding a plan to suit your life based on sound prinicples. Yes of course its better to stay on plan by planning but I think a little retrospective blending of the flexi syn system is fine if it helps someone stay on track and not feel bad about themselves.
    Jennyonaplate likes this.
  20. MadameLaMinx

    MadameLaMinx Gold Member

    I disagree. When we flexisyn we still count the syns. When we go overboard we stop counting and choose to ignore the plan totally. There is a specific difference and personally I don't think it helps to be absolving responsibility for a binge. We need to learn and understand what triggers those events, and find ways to stop them happening where possible, and that just can't happen when there is a convenient way to just dismiss it.

    If that is how you personally choose to do things, that's your choice, but by suggesting that flexisynning is something it is not, you are misleading people who are yet to take in all aspects of the plan and handing them your choice of excuse to use as theirs.
    scotminx likes this.
  21. catxx

    catxx Full Member

    Really agree with what has been said by MLM. Was just curious though as to what you think of this - Am out with friends on Saturday night to a lovely chinese restaurant. I am planning to save syns this wk (only to have 5 a day this wk) as I will be eating and drinking red wine. I have no idea how many syns I will have (just lots!) don't know what we will order (I love it all lol!) I will not be able to weigh out portions in the restaurant.
    I would like to think I am kind of 'flexi synning' as I am planning in advance rather than having a night off plan? :confused:

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