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fresh start.. long again.. soz!!!!!

#1
HI!

This is #2 as my little one lost my first msg when it was 2/3 way through!! Aaaarrrggghh!! Oh well..

Anyway.. I digress.. as per!!!! So I had another 3 lb loss last night which I felt I didn’t deserve as I am still in the binge – vomit cycle.. (Not heard anything from the referral yet btw)!!

Counselling was great though last night as there were only 3 of us again.. I was honest about what’s going on with me and got some great advice support and a plan.. ( I’ll come back to that in case it’s of help to anyone else with young kids etc!!)

The crux of my post is that my LLC very nicely and caringly explained that if I don’t stop the vomiting by the next time I see her ( she’s away next week and I am prob away wk after)!! That she won’t be able to let me have any more packs.. BLIMEY!!! Also she is in contact with the local CDC and will advise them not to sell to me either.. how about THAT for motivation? I know it sounds harsh but she did say it in a lovely way and it is true.. I know I can’t continue if this is what happens…

Soo.. today is my fresh start.. Haven’t vomited since yesterday lunchtime and not going to ANY MORE!!!!!!

Here are the tools to help me:

· When I start to eat / am tempted to eat.. stop and think or if I do eat stop and think that I don’t have to continue accept that I have had that mouthful or whatever and stop there.. it doesn’t have to turn into a full blown binge and I am not going to vomit so I will only be hurting myself If I continue to eat

· My trainee counsellor best pal said that sometimes changing the sense in moments like that can help.. so instead of taste / smell make a visual impact.. she said poss. look at my slim ankles or go to the mirror to see my cheek bones emerging.. that may be enough distraction to stop me.. worth a try!!!

· Also tea time feeding the boys is my worst time so I am going to eat with friends and their kids 3 x week take them out 1 x week ( café etc ( don’t have probs with this except for money)!! And DH can feed them the other 3 times

· I do worry about what effect our dieting and even more so the vomiting is having on them especially as we have been looking into our own childhood and the effects it’s had on us…

· Also I have phone m=numbers of LL members and my pals to call when feeding the kids as there will be times I’m struggling so I will just stay on the phone until the leftovers are in the bin with anti bac on them!!!
 
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#2
oops.. will keep you posted on how it goes.. any more advice?
 

katie_oxo

Silver Member
#3
Jan I'm sorry I don't really have any advice but just wanted to say that I think the tools you've set up seem excellent and will hopefully help bring your binging phase to a closure. I can understand why your LLC has said what she has - she's probably hoping that the shock of this will help you to stop and she only has your best interest at heart.

Just remember that you're not alone in this and that there are people out there like your group and us here that will do their best to listen and help.

(((hugs)))

Cath
 
#4
Thanks Cath! keep meaning to tell you I'm originally a Preston lass too!!! My family still up there.. round that area and te Fylde..
 
#5
Good to see that you're on the way to cracking this & have some strategies...just take things a day at a time and you'll get there in the end! Great to hear that your LLC is being so supportive...
 

katie_oxo

Silver Member
#6
So you're a good old Lancashire Lass too :) I sometimes have to work in Preston and in Kirkham and that way.

Cath
 
#7
Hey Jan

I have not heard from my referral yet either Dr says would be several weeks!!!!!

Anyway, back to you.... Take it one day at a time, and give yourself a huge pat on the back once you have acheived a full day of not bingeing/vomiting.

Your plan sounds good so hopefully that will help, also remember that we are all here for moral support so call on us anytime you need to.

Sorry no wise words of wisdom - I do think your LLC is being a bit harsh tbh - she is supposed to be a councellor - and should be offering more practical help rather than threaten to take you off the programme - how hepful is that?

The binge/vomit cycle is an illness and a serious eating disorder and you need to tackle this before it gets too out of control and starts to control you (listen at me :rolleyes: ) so you need positive strokes not threats.

Contact your GP again - get him to push forward your referral, failing that get in touch with your local eating disorders support group, they may hold meetings that you are able to join - that may help.

Good luck & lots & lots of hugs - you can & WILL beat this.

x
 
#8
I think your LLC has got the right idea - for a diet this extreme, something like a binge/purge eating problem may only be exaggerated by it. I'm really glad you think she handled it as nicely and carefully as you clearly do!

The one day at a time idea is perfect here - one day of not throwing up will give you a milestone you can use to step to the next day - and the next, and the next.

Wishing you all the luck in the world!

Vee
 
#9
HI!!

My LLC did give me lots of advice support etc aswell as the above.. she honestly is brill texting me every day too...

So far so good still today DH away too so I have free reign although the opposite is the fact.. I'm much better "behaved" when he's not around.. got my poorly boys on the sofa with dvd and popcorn n I've got lovely strong coffee n a bar so thats us sorted.. now to relax...aaaahhh!!!!!

PS I'm from Clifton near Kirkham Cath!!! Where is there a LL round there in case I need some packs whilst there over Easter!!??
 
#10
I know there is one on the outskirts of Chorley - not sure where there are any closer ones --- you might find some info on the LL site.

Cath
 
#11
K.. will look.. ta!!!

Came on here to resist my boys' tea.. heelllpppppp!!!!!!
 
#12
Just let them eat it and then what they don't eat just put it quickly in the bin with something nasty on top like washing up liquid.

Cath
 
#13
Right..its in the bin with anti bac soray on.. phew.. really grumpy now though.. blummin miserable not being able to eat isnt it? Gonna lie on my bed and take 5 for me... :sigh:
 
#14
Right..its in the bin with anti bac soray on.. phew.. really grumpy now though.. blummin miserable not being able to eat isnt it? Gonna lie on my bed and take 5 for me...
 

Pixie

Silver Member
#15
Aw Jan!
I know how you feel after suffering with anorexia and bulimia in my teens and early 20's.
I didn't have any official counselling as such so I cant help you with that side but I just wanted to say good luck.
x
 
#16
just had world's biggest cry.. feel like sh*~ but haven't eaten.. sofa n tissues calling..
 
#18
If you want a chat buddy. I am always online on my msn/aim/yahoo/icq. We even have skype if you want to talk with voices and not spend a fortune on phone calls.

Struggling with this issue is not something you have to do alone. I was struggling last week with my first hurdle since starting and all I wanted to do was eat, so I was advised to start a journal/blog and I did one personsally on my pc. Just jotted it down in private. No one else has to read, see it or know about it. I say whatever comes to mind. Anyways, I am drifting from my point-If you need someone there are so many great people on here to support you and I am one of them. Don't feel alone. I once read that happiness is a journey, not a destination. Every one of us on this forum is on that journey now and we can walk alone or walk together.
 
#19
Thanks... again... feelin lots better today and its now 30 hours since last vomit.. proud of myself.. feeling really tired though..... n bloomin FREEZIN!!!!! ;)
 

Pixie

Silver Member
#20
Well done Janny!

I'll tell you what put me off forcing myself to vomit...
The fact it rots your teeth :s
No point looking all slim n nice if you have no teeth!
 


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