Gosh I must of been bad in a previous life

Discussion in 'Slimming World Off Topic' started by kissme, 20 October 2010 Social URL.

  1. kissme

    kissme Gold Member

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    Hi all,

    I just want to have a moan really and someone to see if I'm right for being mad or I'm just over exagerating things.

    I was supposed to go to class tonight, me and a firend had it arranged for the last week, on monday she came down to my flat to see me for the day she is my neighbour (we live in the same house but its flats) and she didtched me half way through the day to go for lunch with a work colleague. That's ok although I did feel a bit ditched as she was supposed to spend the whole day with me but I told her I was just slobbing around and doing my housework, she even arranged to go out for lunch infront of me and knew i couldnt afford to go

    then I havent heard from her for 2 days, which is really weird as she is down at mine all the spare time she has.

    She hasn't contacted me allday and then when she didnt arrive when we were supposed to leave i got worried. I then sent my OH to ask her whethewr we were going or not and she said that she was going to her mums to have a bath instead and tonight was the only time she can go.

    but its a big lie, her mum owns a guest house and there is 25 shower she can use at any time she likes!

    I'm really hurt that she wasnt going to even bother to tell me she didnt want to go and has lied and avoided me.

    Am I just being silly?

    I do loads for her and have been let down alot before by people maybe thats why im so bothered about it.

    i honestly thought she was different.
     
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  3. Stefanie

    Stefanie Silver Member

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    I wish I had a friend like you! I do everything for people, go out my way, pay for everything and to date I have no close friends. I'm 29 moved away from my home town at 15 so lost contact with all my school friends. I really just wish I had someone to gossip with, have a laugh, do all the usual stuff friends do....unfortunately I have to do all that with my husband :)

    I think she is being insensitive, but that's just my opinion. Maybe ask her what's up...although you probably don't want her to think you are being clingy etc. If she is a good friend you should be able to chat freely with her no holds barred.....just try not to get upset about it, she may surprise you :)
     
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  4. Stefanie

    Stefanie Silver Member

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    Oops meant to say...Ofc I like doing that with my husband!! Just when it's a friend it's a different kind of laugh :)
     
  5. Kater-tater

    Kater-tater Gold Member

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    Im the same to, never had any proper freinds really that havent ditched or screwed me over.
    I thought i would meet people at uni but that didnt happen either. I just think that some people are selfish and done appreciate having a good freind, of which you obviously are and i wish i had one like you.
    Ask her, or dont. But when its conveniant for her im sure she will be back, wanting something, and then i think that you should say no. Be strong.
     
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  6. natasha1974

    natasha1974 Silver Member

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    Me to only 2 weekends ago someone i thought as a really close friend deleted me from her life giving no reason at all wouldnt tell me why then when my husband asked what was wrong both her and her sister insulted both me and my hubby. I'm clueless to it all i moved areas 2 months ago and dont know anyone here i only have my hubby and kids to talk to and have lost my trust in people.

    Its sad there are to many people who dont value friendship, i'm yet to find any !
     
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  7. **Sparkle Starrs**

    **Sparkle Starrs** Full Member

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    Like Stefanie, I also wish I had a friend like you! I think you need to ask her if everything's OK and get to the bottom of things - also I agree with Stefanie that if she is a good friend you should be able to speak about anything no holds barred - things are best out in the open. Take care and I hope things are sorted out soon :)

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  8. kissme

    kissme Gold Member

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    Thank you girlies!!

    Me and My OH dont have alot of money but I try not to moan as its my fault as I dont work (due too many different factors) and he works full time and her part time.....Ive given them fags and booze and i buy treats with out little bit of spare cahs, I've cooked meals for them they use my electricity, they mess up my flat and I never complain. i have been teaching her to cook and allsorts, I just give and give! i even let her come and watch tv down in my flat as her OH wont even pay for a tv licence!!! i listen to hwer complain and offer advice.

    I love giving but i just want a little respect in return. Is that so much to ask.
     
  9. kissme

    kissme Gold Member

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    wanna hear the icing on the cake? I've just seen her fiance go up our communal steps with her new friend and his boyfriend!

    I've got a good mind to go and knock on the door and have a bloody good go at her!

    Ladies just to let you know I'm here for you all if you need a chat :)

    Pm me! I'l l always reply!
     
  10. Kater-tater

    Kater-tater Gold Member

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    She is taking advantage of your good nature.
     
  11. Janine 40

    Janine 40 Full Member

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    Bless, it happens, its always the way, people like us always end up disappointed. You have your hubby, not the same i know but you do, next time she knocks tell her you are just off out or busy, if she comes back after that then dont expect too much from her as she must be insensitive not to notice that your behaviour on her last call was out of character.

    Chin up sweetie, u have us lot!!

    J. xx
     
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  12. Kater-tater

    Kater-tater Gold Member

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    Dont stoop to her level, you know she isnt worth it or she would be a decent mate in the first place :rolleyes:

    Right back at ya, Im always here to if you want to chat :)
     
  13. kissme

    kissme Gold Member

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    Thanks hun! your a star!
     
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  14. Miss Mango

    Miss Mango Little Miss Wii Fit!

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    Aw my goodness, this thread has brought a lump to my throat as I thought that I was the only person in the world who had no close friends - and all through no fault of my own! I know all to well what its like to be let down by people, its happened to me time and time again - even by family and I've had such a tough time the last two years, so much so that I've cut myself off from everyone and I don't bother as I'm really sick of being hurt and always being the one putting all the effort into a friendship then when the "friend" doesn't need me for something anymore I am dumped and nothing nice is ever done for me - I don't mean prezzies there either, I mean just a friendship back and some respect like what I show others.

    I'm sorry she has been like this with you, you sound like a very lovely lady and she would be lucky to have you as a friend. Its not nice of her to treat you like this. I would have a word with her and see whats wrong - if she doesn't admit to anything then just drop back and don't be so accomodating to her anymore.

    I dunno - people - you'll never get to the bottom of any of them, even if you think you have!
     
  15. kissme

    kissme Gold Member

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    The thing is why dont you any of you live near me! haha

    I honestly thought I was the only one, I love my fiancee to pieces but I'm around him 24/7 and I dont want to talk to him about everything i feel.

    I get used and dumped and I'm getting sick of it... I'm not perfect I dont claim to be, but Im a nice honest person, anything I have anyone is welcome to have as long as it makes them happy... I dont think I deserve this and I know none of you lovely ladies deserve it either!

    sending massive hugs to all of you!!!
     
  16. MadameLaMinx

    MadameLaMinx Gold Member

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    It strikes me that she is not really a friend, she is a leech. She has taken and taken from you and what do you have to show for it?

    Sounds to me like she bottled out of going to group and didn't want to admit it. I had a friend who did exactly the same, she said she was scared to go on her own so I suggested we go together- and even chose a group further away from my local one because it would be better for her - first week I went she couldn't make it coz of work commitments so i said I would go anyway and get a feel for it- second week she wasn't sure if she could make it so I said to come if she could and i would be there - not heard from her since but she clearly wasn't ready to make the change and I have a lot to thank her for coz I love my group and my consultant and I probably would have gone to the closer one had I not made this arrangement.

    Go anyway- do it without her. Why should she ruin your plans??
     
  17. kissme

    kissme Gold Member

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    True I shouldn't of let her ruin things but I got a much better offer!

    Me and my dad are going to do it together! I dont see much of him so it will be good for us. If i loose more than him he'll give me £10 to go towards new clothes and If he loses more than me then I have to help on his farm for a couple of hours!

    So its win win i get dosh or extra exercise!
     
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  19. Miss Mango

    Miss Mango Little Miss Wii Fit!

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    Aww bless your heart hun, sending a massive hug back to you!!

    I too thought I was the only one, I don't even have a boyfriend to make me feel better either. The only people I have are my mum and dad which, is lovely but not ideal as they can drive me mad sometimes!

    I understand totally how you feel, I feel like you're the same as me with what you say. I'm good at entertaining myself but it gets really lonely sometimes. I can't be bothered with superficiality and unfortunately thats what most people who I have known have turned out to be - I'm better off without them I know but I'd love to have some friends around me.

    Hugs to all!! :) XXX
     
  20. Stefanie

    Stefanie Silver Member

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    Isn't it typical, so many lovely people and as kissme says we all stay so far from each other! I'm from east renfrewshire and have moved to Cork, so any potential friends let me know lol! :) but if not, i'm already fortunate enough to have all of you x
     
  21. kissme

    kissme Gold Member

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    Just seen her go out with her new friends i hope she f**ks them over and i hope they aint as nice as me

    *wonders if she sounds like a wicked old spiteful mare*
     
  22. Tinytootz

    Tinytootz Mini crazy cat lady

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    :) I'm not alone! I too have very few friends, and none of them are very close. My recent split from my boyfriend has forced me to contact some old friends who had fallen by the side, and some of them are lovely people. But I guess I too am tarred with the 'giving' brush. I always remember to contact folk when it's their first day at a new job, doctors appointment, first date, that kind of thing. But nobody seems to return me the favour. I used to think it was my fault, but then I realised that I am a nice person, and its their loss. Sounds cliche, but its true!

    Your friend sounds like she is using you, sucking you dry, then coming back when she doesn't have a better offer. Speak to her about it, ask her what her game is. If she is a close friend, she will answer and be honest with you. If not, then likely she will take offence and refuse to answer. Either way, it can be unhealthy to have people like that around you. They dent your confidence, and make you feel used. Doing slimming world with your dad sounds like a great idea!

    Being on my own sucks, but it has made me closer with my mum, which has its good and bad points! But yeah, I too have no 'close' friends, but have friends which have different uses (which probably sounds odd!). I have a slimming world friend, who I am encouraging to come back. Then there's the drinking friends that you rarely see in the daylight!
    Very much looking forward to meeting new friends who know nothing about my ex (I like to call him tosspot), but not sure how you go about it!
     
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