Has anybody else noticed this?

Discussion in 'Lighter Life Forum' started by Ann2shoes, 16 November 2006 Social URL.

  1. Ann2shoes

    Ann2shoes Ann2shoes

    Now that I`ve lost 52lbs and am a size 12/14 have 100% more confidence than I had when I was size 20/22.
    I was shopping in Watford today and I may be mistaken but it seemed that the shop assistants had more respect for me. I know it`s wrong for overweight people not to be treated with respect, but now that I`m on the other side of the fence, so to speak, I can see that when I was overweight it happened to me without me even noticing. Or maybe now that I have more resepect for myself, others have too.
    I would be interested to hear comments from others LighterLifers.

    Start date: 12th July 2006 - Weighed 14st 1lb
    15th November 2006 - Weighed 10st 5lbs
    Lost 52lbs to date and about to move to Management
    Now the really hard works begins!:D
     
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  3. CheekyMare

    CheekyMare Full Member

    Diet:
    Cambridge
    Its a well know fact that some people are racist, ageist and sizeist! I don't like to see anyone being treated with little or no respect, but sadly it happens all the time!
     
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  4. magickmel

    magickmel Loves VLCD's !

    Diet:
    Lighter Life and now CD
    This is an interesting one and I think you are right, overweight people get less respect. But also I think overweight people get less respect because they may feel they don't deserve it. Having been very overweight all my life I am now losing weight well. With every few pounds my confidence grows and I think people treat me differently. So it may be that I weigh less but also it could be I am more confident and command more respect. Do you see what I mean ? Probably a bit of both !
     
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  5. Flopster

    Flopster Got a life thank you!

    Diet:
    Lighter Life
    You are completely right. In fact last week I meant to start a thread because I did something unintentionally that really bothered me and is continuing to trouble me.

    I went to a training course and it was a "round table" meeting, when I got there there was a very, very large lady then two seats and a thin person. On the other side of the large lady the other chair hadn't been taken either. I came in (late as usual) and threw myself into the nearest empty chair which was the one next to the thin person.

    What made me feel so bad is that others came in after me and not one person sat next to that lady, all the other seats even at the other side of the room were taken.

    It really upset me that nobody would sit next to her. I genuinely just plonked my bum down in the seat closest the door but really regret not getting up and moving next to her.

    She was a lovely, highly intellegent person who brought a lot to the session but I could see that people were instantly dismissing her views as unimportant without giving her due consideration.

    Now that I am a size 14 I do feel that I am treated differently by people. We were at a bonfire party a few weeks ago and there was a girl there that honest to god has never spoken to me in all the years we have stood together in the playground. She saw me, threw her arms round me (you should have seen my face), told me I looked wonderful and never left my side the whole evening - following me from room to room.

    The really strange thing is that I just don't feel any different and wonder what all the fuss is about sometimes.
     
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  6. dizzy-n-mizzy

    dizzy-n-mizzy Not dieting ATM!

    Diet:
    Together we lost 8 stone on CD.
    Hi Ann

    I'm in the same place as you and it is sad but I think it is true!

    However, I have more respect for myself too so I guess I can't judge them too harshly.

    Dizzy x
     
  7. Ann2shoes

    Ann2shoes Ann2shoes

    Thank you for your replies, so it doesn`t seem to be my imagination after all.
    The other thing that has happened since I lost weight is that my relationship dynamics with certain other people seem to have changed. Some people who are overweight have been great, some have pretended not to notice (that`s fine). A couple of females who have always been thinner than me (that was most people!) have also more or less ignored me (strange). And close relatives who know they should lose weight look embarrassed and I really do feel for them because the journey has been so long and difficult for me (a 20 year journey at that).
    I`m fortunate in that my other half has also lost about the same amount of weight and been most supportive, as have most people.
    I would be interested to hear any more comments.
    The poor women at the conference, I do feel for her and I know it was just an oversight. And I do have more respect for myself so perhaps that is why I feel more respect coming the other way.
     
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  8. Purple Hugs

    Purple Hugs Loves weight.. training!

    Start Weight:
    13st5.5lb
    Current Weight:
    12st13lb
    Goal Weight:
    10st7lb
    Lost(%):
    0st6.5lb(3.47%)
    Diet:
    Slimming World
    Hey!! we're from the same sort of area! :D

    And yes.. i have a lot more confidence as a 16 now than i did when i was a 24!

    Got mad the other day though.. when i put on a my 'fav' next trousers.. to find they were falling off me! i only wear them for 'posh' things.. and was going on a training course... hubby had to remind me of the achievement of them being too big! lol

    Well done for noticing your change in yourself! :D
    And for getting on so great in your weight loss. :cool:
     
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  9. moo-moo

    moo-moo New Member

    Diet:
    Teacher
    Yes Indeedy

    :) My experiences of the dreaded clothes shopping with sales assistants are very similar to yours. People do treat me differently now I am "smaller". I also wonder if it's a bit of me acting a bit differently too. What do you think? A friend said I was more sassy now. Not sure if that's a compliment really!!! I am starting maintenance next week.
    Good luck!
     
  10. FatFairNForty(ish)

    FatFairNForty(ish) Gold Member

    Goal Weight:
    11st10lb
    Diet:
    Cambridge - Sole Source
    I'd take it as a compliment - well done on getting to maintenance too!

    All on this thread are a constant inspiration to those of us who are still up there in the 20's & 30's (clothes wise!).

    Can't imagine being a size 14!!!:rolleyes:
     
  11. Mini

    Mini Administrator Staff Member

    Start Weight:
    18st0lb
    Current Weight:
    16st5lb
    Lost(%):
    1st9lb(9.13%)
    Diet:
    Slimming World
    I think when we feel good in ourselves we radiate this and others pick up on it.

    Love Mini xxx
     
  12. Roch

    Roch Minimins gal x

    Start Weight:
    27st2lb
    Current Weight:
    25st2lb
    Goal Weight:
    10st0lb
    Lost(%):
    2st0lb(7.37%)
    Diet:
    Low cal/low fat
    Mini u r such a wise lady u r so right i never thought about it that way but its something that i need to work on, thanks hun x
     
  13. kati

    kati Gold Member

    Diet:
    Cambridge diet
    That is very true about people picking up on the way we feel about ourselves. I know I personally feel more able to accept help offered from sales people if nothing else. Yesterday I was in a shop looking for some jewellery to go with my new dress and when the sales assistant asked me if I knew what I was looking for I asked for help to choose something and described the dress to her whereas before I would have just said "oh I'm just looking thanks"

    I did have a moment when I was looking for that dress and I walked past morgan in debenhams and pointed to a dress saying I like that dress then I suggested to my friend we looked in at the other clothes. well the sales assistant there overheard me and asked me which dress it was I liked then took me straight to it. I am pretty sure that shop doesn't do any bigger than a 14 (could be wrong don't quote me on that) so the first thing I thought of was if I was still bigger she'd never have said that because she'd know it'd be a waste of time and I wouldn't buy it because I wouldnt be able to get into it. As soon as I saw the prices I knew I wouldn't buy it though lol. But it was nice of her to stop what she was doing to find it for me without me asking. I wouldn't have even thought to ask where it was myself.
     
  14. Brad0053

    Brad0053 Silver Member

    I think people certainly do treat me differently now. I'm not sure if people disrespected me or anything like that, but even I know the smaller I became the less aggressive I looked.

    One thing that happened today made me cross. I was in Thornton’s (you know the evil chocolate place) today and they have a small cafe. I was drinking my skinny hot chocolate (so only half a million calories then :eek: ) when a man on the next table said to his wife or g/f, you better get your chocolate quick love before they are all gone. I looked up and there was a large couple making their chocolate selection. I am quite a calm person and although I have a bad temper, it takes a long while to surface. However, I think I went from calm and pleasant to murderous in 0.3 seconds.

    As I had my boy with me, I could not say anything at that point, but just glared at the man. We carried on drinking our drinks and just as I was beginning to calm down the man then made a remark about this couple having sex which is too much for the good people of mini-mins to read. What amazed me was the wife or g/f laughed. I very calmly told my son to go and choose himself a chocolate bar. Once he was out of earshot, I stood up and stepped over to the man, lent right down in to him and told him in a quiet voice that he was a silly gentleman who impressed nobody (if only I hadn't added in several swear words and likened him to a part of the male body at the same time :eek: ). It was at that point that I remembered that I wasn't 24 stone anymore :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: . However, like all good idiots, he probably thought I was a psychopath and not to be messed with. Him and his girlfriend left, 30 seconds later.

    What was embarrassing was when I went to leave about 5 minutes later, an older lady who I believed to be well out of earshot puts her hand on my arm and says "Well done, that worried him" and I kid you not she followed up with "He was sh*tting himself" :eek: :eek: . This woman must have been 80 if she was a day.

    Anyway, the upshot is, the man would not have made his comment in front of me 10 months ago and I bet he wishes he never did now as well.

    *** Please do not try this at home, unless you have a 6 year old who thinks he is a Power Ranger to back you up should it be required ***

    Finally, before anybody wonders what my boy made of all this - He never new anything went on, although might have been a little suss when I told him to choose anything he wants in the first place :D
     
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  15. kati

    kati Gold Member

    Diet:
    Cambridge diet
    lol well done Brad, I'm very impressed you stood up for those people (and anyone overweight in general too really) :)
     
  16. Aubergine

    Aubergine Member

    Diet:
    Cambridge
    I wish I had the guts to say something but alas, I still have a bottom with its own postcode and the man and his girlfriend would probably have replied "**** off, you fat, four-eyed ******" or something equally erudite. I'm hoping that I'll be able to be 'sassy' soonish

    Still, I vote you God of the Day. Please feel free to smite any idiot you choose.
     
  17. Brad0053

    Brad0053 Silver Member

    Yep, but imagine if it had gone terribly wrong and the chap was a black belt Karate and I had to get Blue Power Ranger (my son) to help get him off. :D :D :D
     
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  19. dizzy-n-mizzy

    dizzy-n-mizzy Not dieting ATM!

    Diet:
    Together we lost 8 stone on CD.
    Well Done Brad

    Your our Super Hero!!!

    Also congrats for sitting in thortons cafe with such control and confidence.

    Dizzy x
     
  20. Ann2shoes

    Ann2shoes Ann2shoes

    Well done Brad - I now think that I would have the guts to do something similar, it`s amazing how much more confidence I have. When I see a really overweight person now the first thing I want to do is to tell them about Lighter Life. I think some overweight people look and act aggressive as a kind of defence. I can`t believe that most of them would not like to lose weight. When I was almost 4 stone heavier, I didn`t even want to discuss my weight or allude to it any way.
    Aubergine and anybody else reading this who some weight to lose - YOU CAN DO IT- THIS
     
  21. Ann2shoes

    Ann2shoes Ann2shoes

    Well done Brad, I think I might even have the confidence to say something like that now.
    When I see really overweight people now I really want to tell them about Lighter Life, but of course I can`t. I do notice that some overweight people, particularly younger girls, look quite aggressive and I wonder if that is a defence mechanism? It`s great to be treated better by everybody, particularly shop assistants, such a pity we couldn`t be treated that well before.
     
  22. Ann2shoes

    Ann2shoes Ann2shoes

    Sorry for the two similar posts, my brain must be addled!
     
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