Helens Diary

[Helen]

Hi

I my name is Helen and I originally did lighterlife back in 2007 and lost 108lb. Unfortunately I did not do route to management and regained this weight pretty much at the same speed that I lost it. :break_diet:

I have now had private counselling and have read self-help books and listened to hypnosis and CBT tapes and now feel ready to start lighterlife again.

My first meeting is booked for 25th May but I am starting my diary a bit early so that I can enter my thoughts leading up to abstinence, as well as my reasons for doing lighter life again. I can then look back through this when I struggle and hopefully this will help me to continue with the diet.

I want to lose about 8 stone again but this time I am thinking of doing 14 weeks and then route to management and then doing 14 weeks again early in the new year. I feel that breaking the journey down into two shorter blocks will be much easier for me than trying to stay abstinent for 7 months. Losing this amount won't make me an officially healthy weight - I would still need to lose another two stone for that - but it is a weight that I will be happy with and which I can always adjust at a later date.

My old Lighterlife counsellor is no longer 'trading' so I am having to drive for half an hour each way to my meeting instead of 5 minutes, however the new lady seems much more approachable and the environment seems much nicer. I am hoping that this will feel more like a fresh start than going back to the old offices.

A couple of things have made me realise I need to do something drastic, urgently:

• my weight is becoming a disability, I am struggling to get upstairs and stand for long - by the time I have walked from the car to the veg aisle in Sainsburys my back is screaming in pain.
• My self confidence is at an all time low. I don't want to leave the house.
• I saw myself in a video on Facebook, it was made at work on Friday and I look hideous, far worse than I imagined. I am cringing still
• I don't want my daughter to be teased at school (she is now at senior school)
• My daughter is putting on weight too and I want to eliminate unhealthy food from the house without her feeling like she is being put on a diet.
• My family has a history of heart disease and diabetes, I am nearly 47 and don't want to die or become disabled at such a young age
• I am continually out of breath and snore dreadfully

I have a couple of social events coming up next weekend and then have pretty much cleared my diary until December (not that i have a hectic social life anyway) in preparation for this. In December there is a masked ball for our Christmas party, I would like to look good for this!

We are emptying the fridge and freezer, there is only 2 days meals left, this will then be defrosted and filled with healthy meals for husband and daughter which need minimum preparation so I have limited contact with food over the first couple of weeks of diet. I will be doing some batch cooking next week.

I start on a Wednesday evening and have asked for the following Thursday and Friday off work. I haven't had a big problem with going into ketosis before (although I haven't always managed to stay there) but I have thought I will start the journey off by making it easy for myself - no stress- and with a non food treat!

My biggest problem last time was with drinking the water. I have invested £10.99 in a water bottle with a filter. The filter is supposed to last two months and should make tap water taste like bottled water. I have only ordered it today but reviews seem to be good. If it works then tap water should be nicer to drink, saving me money from drink flavourings and/or bottles of water and helping the environment too. I was getting through a tub of flavouring a week back in 2007 which is very expensive.

I am filled with trepidation. I am worried that I won't I stick to it, I need to in order to justify spending such a large amount of money on myself. I am dreading the lengthy explanations to people asking me why I am not eating and saying 'but that can't be healthy' and 'can't you just have a salad?'. Been there and done that, (which bit of 'nothing' can they not understand lol) as a result I am telling as few people as possible in the early days. However I have tried to think of everything I can in order to make the transition as easy as possible.

I have enjoyed reading everyones diary's for motivation and to psych myself up and hope that you will all enjoy reading mine, and leave comments and advice please!

Phew, didn't realise that this would be so lengthy - sorry!

Helen

 

[HannahNewton]

Good luck with it all Helen!! It seems like you are in the right frame of mind to get started.

My advice would be to start cutting your carbs now, to make going into ketosis easier. And get used to increased water, the bottle sounds nifty - I have a filter jug at home which lives next to the kettle. The water is clearer and tastes a lot nicer from it. But the water here is hard and often cloudy.

I recommend the Beck diet solution book, which you can pick up cheaply if you have a The Works store near you. It helps you prepare for weight loss prior to starting dieting and is CBT based so fits with the group work we do on LL. xx

 

[possum]

Good luck, Helen You sound really motivated and determined.

 

[Clarabow]

Hello Helen,

I am a second time round person as well. Your journey could describe mine exactly, minus the husband and daughter lol Second time round has been better for me. I am in a better place with my head and feel more in control of it all. I had no faith that I could get through the first week, but I did and I am sticking with it. I am in it for long term results rather than the quick fix I was looking at the time I did it before. Paying more attention to the head stuff, rather than just the scales. I am not choosing the smoothest jouney of total abstinence, but I am learning to be confident with this program and around food. I am not feeling the desparation to lapse that I had before, which is a major hurdle covered. The other major hurdle that I am doing well with is managing my job without the support of food. I had no confidence in being able to achieve that, but I am doing so which I am really pleased with.

Sounds as if you are in a really good place to be starting the program. The planning you are doing will stand you in good stead. I bought myself a soda stream as I love the fizzy water, tastes much fresher than bottled and better for the environment as well.

Look forward to sharing your journey. Good luck xx

 

[LadyT]

Welcome Helen! I wish you good luck and success. as you have done LL before I don't need to tell you it works, you already know.

This is my first time but I am definately going to do RTM it seems a common theme that returners didn't complete it, after spending so much money I am giving myself all the help I can to succeed in keeping the weight off.

Look forward to reading your diary xx

Sent from my iPhone using MiniMins

 

[Helen]

Thanks for the welcomes and best wishes.

I have spent today defrosting the freezer ready to be restocked with heathy minimum preparation meals, this would have been much more successfull had I switched the freezer off instead of the extractor hood lol!

I will pop into The Works later this week for the Beck book, its a book I've been meaning to buy for a while. I do like Geneen Roth and have been reading a few of hers lately and have Gillian Riley lined up. Chris has downloaded the Lighterlife podcasts for me today so there a few of those to work my way through (18 I think).

I have been thinking about cutting down carbs and increasing the water. I will start the water shortly but other than protein and salad am struggling to think what I can eat thats carb free - it just goes to show what my current diet mostly consists of! I've got breakfast planned with a fruit smoothie but completely out of ideas for the rest of the day!

I am slowly working through everyones diaries, you are all totally inspiring!

love
Helen

 

[Helen]

BTW, I think I had so many issues to work through the first time that I don't know that route to management would have made that much difference to me however from my own personal experience: the complete terror around food and feeling like a complete food virgin when I started eating again I do think that doing RTM or at least the lite program is essential to keeping the weight off!

 

[SunshineCass]

Welcome to the forums helen! I bet you're excited to start on the 25th. We'll all be here for you too if you ever struggle. We're like a big family!
x

 

[Helen]

Update: have upped my water to a litre a day and dropped my pepsi max from 4 or 5 cans to 1. Had a stonking headache but its clearing now.

Went into town tonight and bought the Beck Diet Solution from the Works for £1.99 - thanks Hannah for that suggestion. I really do need to start this diet ASAP - I had to sit down twice in town and its only a small shopping centre.

I couldn't find a lightlife magazine anywhere though, do they still produce one?

My water filter bottle has arrived and once the cat gets off my shoulder I will wash it out and give it a try. I am so hoping it makes a difference.

Got three social events over the weekend and then will try and drop the carbs in preparation for Wednesday. This is difficult because whilst I want to make it easy for myself I also want to eat all the things I like while I still can!

I am listening to the lighterlife podcasts whilst on the afternoon school run - I usually have an half hour wait for the kids to arrive. Some podcasts are better than others but the one today mentioned control and I think this is an area that I need to look into - taking control of food because I had no control in any other area of my life. Unfortunately food has since taken control of me I fear!

Hope you are all doing well

 

[HannahNewton]

Update: have upped my water to a litre a day and dropped my pepsi max from 4 or 5 cans to 1. Had a stonking headache but its clearing now.

Went into town tonight and bought the Beck Diet Solution from the Works for £1.99 - thanks Hannah for that suggestion. I really do need to start this diet ASAP - I had to sit down twice in town and its only a small shopping centre.

I couldn't find a lightlife magazine anywhere though, do they still produce one?

My water filter bottle has arrived and once the cat gets off my shoulder I will wash it out and give it a try. I am so hoping it makes a difference.

Got three social events over the weekend and then will try and drop the carbs in preparation for Wednesday. This is difficult because whilst I want to make it easy for myself I also want to eat all the things I like while I still can!

I am listening to the lighterlife podcasts whilst on the afternoon school run - I usually have an half hour wait for the kids to arrive. Some podcasts are better than others but the one today mentioned control and I think this is an area that I need to look into - taking control of food because I had no control in any other area of my life. Unfortunately food has since taken control of me I fear!

Hope you are all doing well

Well done for being focused

Beck @ bedtime for me tonight xx

 

[Helen]

An update:

Not feeling very well, got stinking cold and had really bad headache earlier. However I did go to my first lighterlife meeting tonight and am now stocked up with foodpacks and literature, all the ladies in group seemed very nice but at different stages of the journey, with several in management and several who will been soon. I didn't look at my weight or measurements and asked for the kilos not to be converted into lbs. (I can look at my weight in kilos and it means very little to me). For now I think that this wil be too demoralising and I want to focus more on sticking to abstinence than my weightloss.

Our module was 'communication' and we were discussing goals. Mine for the month are simple:

1.complete a month in abstinence
2.stop having to use the seatbelt extender in the car when I am driving (I am very short and have to pull the seat as far forwards as it will go which doesnt leave enough seatbelt to go round)

I am starting to feel positive!

I would be grateful for any instructions on how to make a latte with my shakes.

Hope everyone is having successful time, I will check out some diaries tomorrow

love
Helen

 

[HannahNewton]

An update:

Not feeling very well, got stinking cold and had really bad headache earlier. However I did go to my first lighterlife meeting tonight and am now stocked up with foodpacks and literature, all the ladies in group seemed very nice but at different stages of the journey, with several in management and several who will been soon. I didn't look at my weight or measurements and asked for the kilos not to be converted into lbs. (I can look at my weight in kilos and it means very little to me). For now I think that this wil be too demoralising and I want to focus more on sticking to abstinence than my weightloss.

Our module was 'communication' and we were discussing goals. Mine for the month are simple:

1.complete a month in abstinence
2.stop having to use the seatbelt extender in the car when I am driving (I am very short and have to pull the seat as far forwards as it will go which doesnt leave enough seatbelt to go round)

I am starting to feel positive!

I would be grateful for any instructions on how to make a latte with my shakes.

Hope everyone is having successful time, I will check out some diaries tomorrow

love
Helen

Great goals Helen!

I make my latte by mixing the pack, vanilla, banana (yes really) or chocolate for a mocha with a small amount of cold water. Then disolve my instant coffee in a small amount of boiling water in a small cup - add it to the pack. Then top up with water from the kettle. I use about 500ml water in total as I like the packs quite weak and it keeps my fluids up.

I think it tastes better with instant coffee than proper coffee. If I make posh coffee I drink it black.

Good luck xx

 

[Helen]

Thank you Hannah, I will give that a try in a minute.

Hope you have a really good day
x

 

[bb13]

Hi Helen

I am exactly the same as you with the weight measurement - I only want to know in kilos because I have no clue what it means! Unfortunately, I made the mistake of looking in my record book and my LLC had converted to stones & pounds - I was depressed for the rest of the day :cry: but back to good spirits by the time I had completed day one successfully!!

All the best xx

 

[LadyT]

Seriously ladies, the time will fly by and you will soon be at goal xx

 

[Helen]

Hi there,

Thanks for your replies.

Day one has gone reasonably well, I felt rotten again this morning (cold not LL related) so had a shake and went back to bed to ready the LL material I was given last night. I have had my four shakes and not really been hungry, although as I have lost my sense of taste and smell at the moment this has probably helped. I need to up my water, only managed about 2 1/2 litres today.

Feeling more positive now, having got through day one!

 

[gracielou09]

Hi there,

Just caught up with your diary. Loving your positive atitude and your preparation. You seem very determined.

As for the coffee, I make a black coffee, take half of my vanilla shake and mix with just under 100ml of water, give it a shake and add it to the black coffe like you would milk. the beauty of this is I can have another coffee mid afternoon too. Really helps me get through the day as also through the cold ...I'm always cold, which is one of the side affects to this diet, as I'm sure you know. Thinking of taking a hot water bottle to work and sitting on it

I wish all the best in your first week hun. Keep that positivity and you'll be fine.

xxx

 

[Helen]

Thanks so much for your post GracieLou, it helped me more than you can know. I was really struggling yesterday, not with hunger but with this flipping cold and a feeling like something was stuck in my throat. I convinced myself that eating something would help with this and had just decided to delay ketosis and have something when I read your post. I completely changed my mind after that and resisted temptation.

So I had my four shakes and about 3 litres water and this morning I have gone into ketosis and my cold is a lot better - just coughing today - so I am particularly pleased that I resisted.

It sounds silly but it seems to be getting easier going upstairs already, just as well as going to the loo every hour on the hour!

 

[bb13]

Thanks for the post Helen! Gracielou's tip about splitting the vanilla pack and using it as "milk" in coffee is a great one ... I tried it this morning and it was heavenly! I am going to treat myself to my first cranberry bar this afternoon with coffee. Yum!

BB xx

 

[Helen]

Hi BB13,

Just going off to breathe in some more steam to try and stem this cough then off to have a bath. Am going to try Gracielou's vanilla latte recipe when I come back down, for lunch. Looking forward to it . . .