Hello all and I guess until I work it out this is my diary too lol

[samonamission]

Hi Sam,
I hope you've got the feeling back in your face.. as someone who has also spent alot of time in the dentist and dribbling on myself, you have my sympathy. I'm new on here and had to post to say how much I enjoyed reading your diary.. As this is only my first day on lipotrim - you have inspired me, and made me think it'll be possible to stick to. Hope you're well
kimmy x

Hi kimmy, welcome to lipotrim xxx and thank you for the kind words, my mouth I'd back to working and my upset at not gettig the treatment sooner.. Please dint be disheartened by what I'm about to write in my diary.. It's not all as bad as today xx

 

[samonamission]

Yesterday I was on the biggest high ever... I measured and finally I realised I AM loosing loads of inches... and I mean loads.. Last stone I lost 27 inches from my uck called a body!!! the first stone I lost 6 inches and was happy with that lol... but today I have totally bombed...
I got up and forced myself to go swimming, I did 6 lengths, that is 600% more than last time, but it took me a whole hour and I really struggled- even to the exten I was asked to leave the slow lane because I was too slow, but that didn't detur me and then I came home.... and it all went to pieces:sigh:.. I stood in my kitchen remembering the high I was on yesterday and thought" I don't want to do this anymore", I just don't have any idea why, i'm finally seeing results and what the hell is happening to me.... I have just logged on and crunchy is feeling the same so maybe its the water.. Gosh i really don't know why I kept going today, I so wanted to give up, and when I smelt the burger king that was brought home I nearly took a bite.... lets hope tomorrow will help my spirits and get me back in the mindframe of this is for me and no-one else and i'm worth it!!!! but i'm not there right now:sigh:

 

[crunchyfrog]

Must be something in the water!!

How you feeling today?

I feel a new burst of optimisim so have hopped off the self pity wagon for a bit!!

Hope you're feeling better today!! xx

 

[samonamission]

Must be something in the water!!

How you feeling today?

I feel a new burst of optimisim so have hopped off the self pity wagon for a bit!!

Hope you're feeling better today!! xx

H cruncy, i'm feeling so muchbetter today
thanks. xx i'm putting it down to a bad batch of water lol

 

[crunchyfrog]

Damn that water!!

 

[samonamission]

Today has been good bad and gosh i'm shattered...

Got up to a huge challenge, to pain all the things I havn't completed before my carpet goes down on Tuesday!! but you see, the paint we have is so runny- and its gloss, i'm chasing it down the walls when its suppost to be on the banisters!! Well didn't start until 10 becuase needed sand paper from diy store and guess what its Sunday... I really didn't know what day it was when I got up...
Well I decided I would go and torture myself first... So Sam on the crosstrainer for 20 mins... sounds great doesn't it but I have to be totally honest, it was 5 mins a 2 min rest 5 more mins and 2mins rest, until i'd done the 20mins, I look a total idiot, I don't really know what to do with my arms so I hold the moving things and wabble... my thighs burn right from the start and I want to get off lock the door and run to my mum saying its torturing me!!! She is in Wales and i'm sure I could get there if I tried really hard... maybe 5 weeks of fast walk rather than run.... I can't believe a machine "I" turn on and off gives me so much terror!!!!
Anyway I made it and started painting and painting and painting and finally gave up at 6pm... my left arm feels like its been tortured and my bum- yes I do have one is really sore, of all the silly places to feel weight loss i've just found out I have a boney bum!!!! oh and another achy place my ankle... when I turn I can feel bone and had to have a good look, I now have a bone on top of my foot !!
This person who keeps giving me bones really needs to give me some warning, how else am I suppost to feel pain and not be shocked that I have found a bone....
Now i'm sat on the sofa in a quilt-i'm freezing really cold.and some nice person has made me a shake and i'm thinking gosh even thought im so shattered, this really is worth it.... but a little more warning about the bones is required!!!..

I have a boney bum and an ankle... gosh what else is going to happen to me!!!!

 

[samonamission]

Damn that water!!

I agree ..

 

[samonamission]

Its been a really odd morning for me, I am normally working by now but I don't have to go in until 3pm, but it means I don't finish until stupid o clock in the morning, i've just had my shake and i'm forward planning... I have decided im going to follow weight watchers when I finish here, and I think i will maintain whatever weight I finish off here at, its odd but if I continue as i'm going then I will be around 10 stone 11lbs, and coming from someone who was 12 years old and 12 stone, I believe I shouldn't try for any less.. but who know.. maybe i'll like the boney bum feeing and want it everywhere lol... no seriously once I was 10 stone after 4 weeks in hospital and I remember looking sooo ill, I was asked if I needed to goto hospital 2 days after they released me!!!
So I am going to stop at whatever lipotrim says i've lost, she says slightly concerned -what happens if I don't loose much lol...
i've just checked with my mum and I was 10 when I was 10 stone and had my op so really in all my life I have never been under 12 stone... guess what I AM under 12 stone...... Oh if only I looked 12 again, no rinkles no scars- apart from a small one lol... but never mind time is NOT going to backtrack because i've finally sorted my obese body out....
Oh and today i'm going to work wearing clothes that fit me....
So far I have worn 3 t shirts, and a jumper, to stop people giving me the oh have you lost weight sermon... Well today i'm just in a t shirt and jeans and bring it on......
Now sadly I have to go and do the laundry so I can't waffle anymore... its so odd not having to work early, i'm a lost wandering soul

 

[janey23]

Hi Sam,
not heard from you in your diary for a couple of days and I'm wondering how your getting on? I'm really enjoying reading your story and it gives me confidence to post my own thoughts when I hear that others have up and down days too. Hope its still going ok for you

Jane

 

[samonamission]

Hi Sam,
not heard from you in your diary for a couple of days and I'm wondering how your getting on? I'm really enjoying reading your story and it gives me confidence to post my own thoughts when I hear that others have up and down days too. Hope its still going ok for you

Jane

Hi Jane i've had a really hard few days but I will post about it after ive thanked you for reading my ramblings lol.. Keep going it is worth it. xxx

 

[samonamission]

Well what can I say. loads lol...
I have had a very odd time and yesterday I really got scared, and it takes a lot to worry me, I'd gone to work and felt the usual giddy when I got up but it didn't go away, I didn't think anything of it but I got very cold, again I didn't worry becuase thats what lipotrim does for me....but I got asked by someone if I was ok because I was blue... so I checked and gosh was I so blue, even then I wasn't too worried just thought ok Sam you are cold you must move more!!! but the medic didn't agree, I was asked what had I eaten today and after relocating to a private room I explained I havn't eaten for 7 weeks and i'm ok... Well you can imagine the response:sigh:... So I got bullied into eating some turkey, I asked for chicken but the caterers didn't have any... anyway I honestly felt so ill I really believed it would help...But all it did was get me just as cold and worried... I had my 3rd shake at my normal time but I can only explain it as an ache in my heart.... I really got scared, my pulse is quite low at the best of times but having it don'e worried me more,
I gave myself to 8pm and asked if i didn't feel any better would they take me to the hospital- and the last time I asked to goto the hospital was when my baby was in danger 24 years ago, So you see how bad I felt....
Stupid me talked myself out of going at 8 because of all the things i'd have to go through to prove myself.... I went to bed on a right downer, knowing i'd broken my diet and I was worried what it was doing to my ticker??

Well woke this morning promising myself if I didn't feel 100% after breakfast i'd ring the doctor, well up until 11am I actually cleaned the cooker and the microwave, in between cussing my family for how dirty they can get these items, while living on take away since I don't cook for them!!! Anyway I got really tired quickly and then sat down, that was me done for the day... I have been on the soaf under a huge quilt ALL afternoon feeling so very sorry for myself, I have only left the sofa to goto the fridge and talk myself into eating, all the excuses, i'm ill, this isn't working for me, i'll never stick to being thin, all self doubt things I could.... but it was very very odd, I didn't take the cheese, the cinemon roll, the pasties all the things I would normally just eat because I could...And just looking left I have been sat by a huge open tin of chocolates all day and didn't eat one....
That proved to myself that I do want to contine, I do want to complete my journey and I do feel i'm strong enought to get through this....
I have given myself so many excuse to break it today and finally the last one was getting on the scales, it says im 3lbs heavier than yesterday... I guess my turkey has really had a bad experience with my body....
I have wondered if the fiberclear is doing this???
I havn't changed anything apart from adding fiberclear to a pint of water each morning so I didn't this morning and lets see what happens....
Tomorrow I'm going to try and not do the soaf all day, maybe a little exercise, but I really can't promise anything because I don't honestly know how I feel.....
All I do know is it is so easy to eat and say well I did it yesterday.... but no... I will have my first meal on 29th April and not before!!!

 

[janey23]

Hi Sam,

don't worry about the 3lb, i'm sure its just a daily fluctuantion and not the effect of the turkey. As you just had lean meat it shouldn't have brought you out of ketosis and the calorie content can't have been big enough to have an effect. I'm sure you'll find that in a few days, you'll be under the last weeks weigh in.

I eat lean meat and some veg (but not potatos obviuosly) each Sunday as I cook a Sunday dinner for family and don't want mum to know what I'm doing (Yes i am an adult not 16, but read my diary for more details). I find no adverse effects over the length of the week from doing this. i know there are some on this forum that would frown on my eating a sunday lunch, but at the moment its working for me and when it doesn't I'll address it then.

I bet your illness was more exhaustion related than anything else. reading your diary you seem to work really hard and then do loads of housework when you're home (in fact you make me feel a bit inadequate)

Look after yourself and stay on that sofa!:hug99:

jane

 

[samonamission]

Hi Sam,

don't worry about the 3lb, i'm sure its just a daily fluctuantion and not the effect of the turkey. As you just had lean meat it shouldn't have brought you out of ketosis and the calorie content can't have been big enough to have an effect. I'm sure you'll find that in a few days, you'll be under the last weeks weigh in.

I eat lean meat and some veg (but not potatos obviuosly) each Sunday as I cook a Sunday dinner for family and don't want mum to know what I'm doing (Yes i am an adult not 16, but read my diary for more details). I find no adverse effects over the length of the week from doing this. i know there are some on this forum that would frown on my eating a sunday lunch, but at the moment its working for me and when it doesn't I'll address it then.

I bet your illness was more exhaustion related than anything else. reading your diary you seem to work really hard and then do loads of housework when you're home (in fact you make me feel a bit inadequate)

Look after yourself and stay on that sofa!:hug99:

jane

Oh Jane that is so wonderful to hear, you have great loss and you manage to get through a sunday!!! I do have a stressful job that takes long hours but I am trying very hard to complete by building site, i've lived in one for over 10 years, long story and i've had enough so if no-one else does it I have too.. lol.. don't read what I did today lol

 

[samonamission]

ok today I got up with the usual "I cando it" mood.... I gave myself a good talking too and after the lie in, I loved it, so at 8am I decided the bedroon i've been sleeping in for 8 weeks and I have now left to goto mine again needed cleaning, so off I go with my dyson and a huge duster, well half way thorough I have a brain wave, I have velux windows in my kitchen which is under the guest bedroom, and I can't lift them out to clean them, so a plan came to light!!! I opened the window and me, a squeegy, and one of those strip thingys you use to get the suds off, get onto the roof, now getting through a single window that only opens half way was such a stupid thing to do,!!! One boob out wobble belly a little, then foot out, oops can't do that!! so back in... got it one foot out, then one boob, the squeeze.... and out pops sam and the other boob.. wow I got through the window!!! Now for the difficult bit cleaning one of the velux windows, we have bees in the next garden and they poop all over everything, it looks like yelly strips, and its sticky! so I take ages cleaning the one window then worry if the roof will hold me, really a bit late so as i'm trying to get to number 2 out of 3 a voice booms out... " what do you think you are doing!!!, its my next door neighbour, he asks how I got up there and am I mad?, well he's know me for 10 years so he KNOWS i'm mad, but I had to admit I came through the window, gosh did he give me a telling off and stayed there until I went back across the roof to the window, I never got to d othe other 2, and he even watched me fight with my boobs and the window frame getting back into the window.... oh well 1 out of 3 isn't too bad I guess....
Then my daughter came home and I nagged her to come exercise with me- I don't go alone now i'm just way too wabbly,and love her I did nag, she has just finished 8 hours of work and mummy won't leave her alone.... but I did 20 mins on the crosstrainer- I know I had to stop each 5 mins because I just couldn't keep going but only a few weeks ago I kept falling off my wii board becuase I had no balance so i'm really pleased...

Now to the down side of the day.... I went to the fridge at 6.45 and ate 2 slices of turkey, why ? becuase I wanted too, and turned around to find people looking in total disbelief at me, and you know what I son't know why I did it, so we say down and I was told in no uncertain words that one feels that I will never get rid of my freak belly so why try, and the other said you can't loose any more off your legs or arms, that really freaked me out because I carry all my weight on my back bum and freak belly bit.... And this diet doen't allow you to choose where to loose it from....
So I said I will speak to the pharmacist on Tuesday and see what he says, I really want to be 10 stone, you see i've only been 10 stone once and I immediately put 2 stone back on, I just don't know what to do, i've had my last shake and a really lovely bath and now i'm contemplating what I REALLY want out of lipotrim?..
you see if someone could chop off the bit that makes me a freak I think I could be happy at this weight, but thats not going to happen... I so wish I hadn't had the tummy tuck until I was sorted with my self and was confident that I would never put the weight back on, instead I now look odd becuase I didn't manage the weight:cry:

 

[janey23]

Sam, you just had me laughing out loud with your description, but you really do need to take better care of yourself or you wont be able to enjoy your weight loss!!

 

[crunchyfrog]

Sam you can brighten up the dullest of days. I regularly have fights with my boobs!

You have done soooo well. Blips n all! Its still a massive achievement. You will lose the fat from the places it needs to go. Keep in mind what you want and know that you can do it.

People have commented that I am wasting away but at 12 1/2 stone I highly think thats happening!! What has happened is that I have lost so much so soon and people arent used to seeing me this weight. But I still fit into the obese (bleugh) category, ok only just yeay! but still in that band. I know when I reach the band that says "normal weight" I know that I have made it.

Hope you have a better weekend xxxx

 

[janey23]

Hi Sam,
how are you getting on? Missing my daily fix of reading about your exploits? Hope your feeling well.

Jane

 

[mama10]

Hi Sam,

your honesty is so brave...most of us are suffering and struggling, but I don't think I could dare to bare my thoughts and feelings so openly for all the world to see. Definitely rooting for you all the way, so if good vibes can help you through you're a winner already.

 

[samonamission]

Sam you can brighten up the dullest of days. I regularly have fights with my boobs!

You have done soooo well. Blips n all! Its still a massive achievement. You will lose the fat from the places it needs to go. Keep in mind what you want and know that you can do it.

People have commented that I am wasting away but at 12 1/2 stone I highly think thats happening!! What has happened is that I have lost so much so soon and people arent used to seeing me this weight. But I still fit into the obese (bleugh) category, ok only just yeay! but still in that band. I know when I reach the band that says "normal weight" I know that I have made it.

Hope you have a better weekend xxxx

Hi crunchy, I hope your weekend was good xxx oh and i'm sure soon you won't be in the obese category, honestly I remember asking my mum when I was 5 was obese my middle name?? thats what doctors called me when I had to goto them, oh the little obese girly!! funny things you remember isn't it.....

 

[samonamission]

Hi Sam,
how are you getting on? Missing my daily fix of reading about your exploits? Hope your feeling well.

Jane

Hi Jane, read on lol and I hope you are ok ?