Here it goes! Pouring my heart out!

S

Skittlelover

Full Member
Posted this in the weight watchers section but I may have put it in the wrong place so sticking it in here aswell! Old minimin user, new diaries new posts new starts!


Returned to weight watchers this week, have had a terrible week and have no one to turn to! I need help, I need motivation, my attitude to food is terrible. It literally consumes me! I think about it constantly, I turn to chocolate to solve my problems, become disgusted in myself and once again turn to food! It's a vicious cycle! Haven't admitted that before but I know is true! It's ruining my life! I have never ever admitted that before or even wrote it down! My stress in relation to how I look is ruining my relationship with my boy and we are nearly 8years in! I can't be comfortable around him when I hate myself. I am graduating with a masters degree next week, it was in that 9months from hell I piled all the weight back on! Am hoping that everyone on here will give me some help, and advice! Yer all amazing and I need to be on the same kinda track! I'm goin up pour my heart and soul into this, even if its just me reading it!
 
RawrGirl thinks that you should be quite proud of yourself for earning your Master's Degree. Sometimes it's very hard to concentrate on two major things like that at one time. RawrGirl has noticed that in her own life.

She does understand how you feel though. She refused to shower with Prince Charming anytime her weight crept over 150 pounds. She spent 20 bloody years going back and forth from 143 to 160, hitting her lowest of 138 only once. Only since joining Minimins last fall (and doing a Ketogenic VLCD for the first time) did she ever drop below 138. She hit 129 at Christmas, and has basically maintained that (i.e. bouncing from 129 to 134 after a weekend of eating pizza and other yummy food).

Anyway, RawrGirl's advice is to take pride in having earned your Master's degree, and now that it is over, devote your time to getting back to a weight you feel good at.
 
Ditto what rawrgirl said! U should be so proud of yourself for getting your masters!

Diets are hard, so don't beat yourself up about finding it tough! The support on here is amazing! I calories count and use my fitness pal. I have found having the diary on here also helps, keeps me accountable to someone!

I am also consumed with food, but have found it easier the longer time goes on! I eat chocolate, feel guilty, eat more chocolate, feel more guilty... I now am trying to cut it out (not completely just for the most part), sometimes I eat alternatives, like an aero chocolate mousse (97 cal) or options hot choc.

Recently I have been trying to excercise and it boosts my mood so much and really helps- I only excercise at home because I am scared of the gym/anyone seeing me excercise!!

as for my OH- it's lights off all the way!!

hope that you feel better - no matter what the scale says this week you've started, so your further ahead than you were last week xx
 
Thanks so much guys!! I missed my weigh in this evening with work, so I will do my own in the morning!! I kinda did the complete wrong though! Had a bad weekend and "threw the towel in". Will take the weigh in tomorrow with a positive outlook!!

I have my graduation and Call to the Bar next week so it will be two huge nights out!! Gunna try and stay focused!!
 
Hello skittlelover :)

That post could have been written by me. I can't really give you any advice right now because given my current situation that would be massively hypocritical! All I can say is that you really aren't alone. Keep posting here no matter how bad it gets and hopefully we can all help one another find the support we all need x
 
Treax18 said:
So excited for you next week!! What an amazing achievement!! I am sure u will stay focused and enjoy both nights!!

U must have worked so hard to get called to the bar, if you can do that you can do anything xx
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Thanks so much!! I never thought of it like that!! This weather has had me eating far too much icecream mind haha!!
 
Louieec said:
Hello skittlelover :)

That post could have been written by me. I can't really give you any advice right now because given my current situation that would be massively hypocritical! All I can say is that you really aren't alone. Keep posting here no matter how bad it gets and hopefully we can all help one another find the support we all need x
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Thanks so much! Icecream has been my downfall today! I literally don't know what's wrong with me, had chocolate at lunch and I actually didn't even enjoy it!! Complete disaster!

I seriously need to get my head screwed back on! All of my clothes are too small!! Yet I still eat!!
 
I've got some walls light soft scoop (60 cal for two scoops) and mini twisters (about 45 cal) which I sometimes have if I want ice cream, although secretly I just want a whole tub of b and j half baked! Yummy!!

let me know how ur call/ graduation goes! Xx
 
Hi skittle lover,

Just read your post and I can really relate! I used to do SW and have done WW in the past too. I just completed my PGCE last week, also 9 months of hell!, so have not been losing any weight this year or following a plan. Luckily I haven't gained either! I have started doing RC at home now and think an exercise program is seriously the only way I'm going to get the weight off. I have around 4 stones to lose total. I've also got a seriously weird relationship with food and stuck in the diet cycle! Considering I just had a massive achievement in my personal life by completing a PGCE I still don't like myself due to my weight and it is stopping me mentally from meeting someone as well, I know you said it affects your relationship too - I think my body confidence wrecked my last relationship! If you want to be diet buddies on here that would be great :) xx
 
GeorgieGirl83 said:
Hi skittle lover,

Just read your post and I can really relate! I used to do SW and have done WW in the past too. I just completed my PGCE last week, also 9 months of hell!, so have not been losing any weight this year or following a plan. Luckily I haven't gained either! I have started doing RC at home now and think an exercise program is seriously the only way I'm going to get the weight off. I have around 4 stones to lose total. I've also got a seriously weird relationship with food and stuck in the diet cycle! Considering I just had a massive achievement in my personal life by completing a PGCE I still don't like myself due to my weight and it is stopping me mentally from meeting someone as well, I know you said it affects your relationship too - I think my body confidence wrecked my last relationship! If you want to be diet buddies on here that would be great :) xx
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Hi!! Diet buddies would be great! I'm a complete disaster at the moment, and tomorrow is my graduation! Have a further ceremony on wed so I think the next few days are wrote off!! Such stress trying to find something to wear! Ironically what I am now wearing is a 10on the top and 14on the bottom!! I literally go from a size 8 in some tops to a size 16 in other things being too small!

Ironically what I like about my outfit tomorrow is that it is so tight I can't breathe in it! I feel like it gives me more of a form!

I hope to get back on track from the end of this week! I'm a member of curves and I try to go a few times a week! I think if I can force myself to up the exercise I will see a result!! I feel as though its too hot to waste time in the gym hahaha!!

No idea what I weigh now, so I need to get myself on the scales and focus!!:)
 
Wow I would love to be a size 10! I'm currently a 16 and it feels poo! Good luck today!!! Just feel totally proud of yourself - you made it! Just make the best choices you can over the next few days, but enjoy yourself and don't worry too much. It's a once in a lifetime thing and you should be feeling really happy, not worrying about breaking a diet. Just tell yourself from Thursday you are back on track 100%. I've had a few blips over the weekend but not beating myself up about it, just going for it big time now! Have a fab time today you deserve it! Xx
 
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