Yes, I am going to punch myself in the face soon enough.
I get fired up and sound a lot harsher than I would do in real life.
I am extremely sorry that I came across as judgemental of you - the road runs both ways. I apologise that I caused you hurt.
It's the last thing I wanted to do. Dents on people's self-confidence, especially at an extremely emotional point right now (LL first weeks are a real rollercoaster) hit harder... I really should have remembered this...
When I started LL, my partner and I both went on it together. We had post-its on the kitchen cabinet with 'Day 1 - Day 2 - Day 3' and so on to describe how we are feeling that day. None of the emotions written down were ever good. I feel really bad that I've hurt you. I honestly did not mean to.
I do not think anything of you - simply because I actually don't know you. I did not think you're a 'judgemental bigot', that didn't even cross my mind. I was just a little hasty to point out that people do carry personal histories with them - that only those close to them are entitled to know. Also, the fundamental point of LL, at the core - is to promote self-worth. Some people actually feel happier and love the way they look at levels that we would consider 'over-weight' or even 'obese'. There are beauty models out there who are perceived by society to be 'fat', but they love how they are. Take me for example. If I do not accept who I am appearance wise - I will NEVER be happy. I went on the Lighter Life road assuming that "when I'm thin, I'll be happy"... no. That didn't happen. I got to BMI 18 (I stopped LL at BMI 21- but didn't let myself eat for a further half a year - not through LL), I was practically underweight, but I still hated myself and thought I was fat.
So happiness is a very personal thing.
My LLC was overweight herself, but it didn't stop her from being a brilliant motivator. I think a person has to have had the problem in order to understand it at such a depth, so they can apply the knowledge and pass it on.
I have also heard of LLCs who had
never been overweight themselves, always had been naturally thin. Those are the more dangerous ones in my opinion. But who's to say they didn't know someone personally with severe food issues?
Oh I don't know. ... We all judge, but please, please don't think my comments are made with any ill intent. I come across harsh - but that is on paper. If I actually spoke to you, the voice intonations would have made the comment into a constructive one... I aim to promote debate, thought process and self-reflection.
I should not have forgotten your fragile state of being at this vulnerable beginning of your journey, and for that I am extremely sorry. Please do take my messages with a pinch of salt, I dont mean them to be critical or aggressive. Your reaction actually highlighted to me that you are much more unhappy with yourself than you would like others to know. I feel you have lost all self-worth and self-respect at this point and I honestly hope that LL will give you that confidence back. It really can do it for someone. The things I've achieved are innumerable because LL has paved the way.
Again, I'm very sorry. ... I feel pretty awful.