Hubby has just left......

Discussion in 'Cambridge Weight Plan' started by baileys, 30 October 2006 Social URL.

  1. baileys

    baileys Full Member


    Well that went well - my husband has just left - apparently my weight loss is an issue for him - despite my reassurance and spending extra time with him - and the usual going over why this is so important to me don't matter (knee operation, other health related issues - but most importantly ME - my self-esteem - my body image :eek: )

    I don't know when he will be back or if (very bad row) and to be trueful I don't really care - this is hard enough going without him saying - you don't need to lose weight - I love you the way you are - bringing home bottles of wine and pouring me a glass - buying me indian takeaways and dishing them up :mad: . I'm not doing this to get at him (he had an affair last year - hardest thing I've ever had to deal with in my life) - this is just seems right for me now - having battled with my weight for the last 17 years. When my parents and family talk of me and my sister in law - I'm described as Big Lisa and she's little Lisa - in every photo - you can see me - I'm the widest - in some of them I resemble a cube with legs (sob), but your so happy Lisa (laughing instead of crying)

    I am so sick of people right now - not eating has made me realise other issues in my life need to be sorted and not hidden under the huge amount of food I've used as a crutch for the last 17 years - for instance my mum is telling me that this is also just a substitute and when I start eating "normally" again I'll put it all back on - my sister "well you've been big for ages - thats just who you are - people love you no matter what" and so it goes on and on and on - I think if I hadn't found this site I would be sitting here eating and killing myself slowly with food (used to eat 7 bars of chocolate in one sitting and not feel sick, followed by dinner and a takeaway etc etc). I used to eat so much it was difficult to breath sometimes - I was so full with food.

    I don't care at the moment - I'm sick to death of feeling bad about myself - and eating to cover the crap way I feel. The way I feel now if hubby comes back fine - this is me he'll have to deal with it - if not, tough - this is still me and the weight is still coming off. I love him very much whatever shape, form - its a shame he doesn't feel the same way (stupid sod)

    I'm going to have a bath, then go to bed with my book and spread out mumble bad things under my breath about him :mad: - then I'm going to sleep and who knows what tomorrow will bring - but I'm here I'm commited to this and maybe one day I'll put me photos in the 'inspirational photos' - yep the ones where I look like a box shape as well :eek:

    Bigs hugs ;)

    Night all x
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  3. kazz

    kazz Gold Member

    Hi Lisa, I hope things work out for you and hubby, in watever way necessary. I cant believe he is so insecure about your weight loss.....he should be proud!! Well done for sticking to the diet & keep it up!! He should accept that you are doing this for you and noone else....if not, then he doesnt deserve you anyway!!!
  4. Melaniep

    Melaniep Member

    Hi Lisa
    I don't know what to say, you are doing this for the right reasons - You!, it is his issue. We are all here for you even if you just want to rant and rave.
    Mel <<<HUGS>>>
  5. Jemax

    Jemax Full Member

    Cambridge Diet

    A big hug and cuddle for you. :)

    Please stay strong to your dreams, you know the reason why you want to lose weight and don't anyone change your mind or put you down.

    You will find the encouragement you need on this website to continue day by day.

    I wish you all the best.

  6. Pickles

    Pickles Member

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    Good for you sticking with this especially with your husband and other people trying to sabotage it. You're right to be doing this for you and your health. Really hope you sort things out and he comes to his senses and starts helping and encouraging.
  7. DQ

    DQ Queen of the Damned

    The pain in your post - honey I wish I could reach through the screen and hug you :(

    My DH and I went through something similar when I first lost my 7 stone (still had another 7 to go). He left for a while, then realised he wanted to be with me. Took a year of talking, arguing, etc to get it into his head that I had no plans to leave him.

    In the end, I'm doing this FOR ME, and I told him he can support me or get out of my way, cos either way it's happening.

    We're here for you - you are not alone. {{{HUGZ}}}
  8. dizzy-n-mizzy

    dizzy-n-mizzy Not dieting ATM!

    Together we lost 8 stone on CD.
    Hi Lisa

    You sound like you have done a lot of thinking of this diet and really got your head in a good place. You have the same right as anyone to be slim and healthy and the sooner others accept that the better.

    I hope they all do soon and that things work themselves out.

    Keep strong!

    Dizzy x
  9. BuxomWench

    BuxomWench Full Member

    ((((((Hugs)))))) babe. You know what, if hubby left me over this I'd let him go. Other things not but this is so important to me I really would. In fact I said to my therapist (I'm in private therapy as well) that if hubby was the problem I'd deal with it. But he's not, and he's been great, but it just goes to need that level of committment to really face your problems.

    Its hard enough without resistance...and good for you for being so strong. Leave it to fate, it was fate that made you discover the diet, it was your destiny to lose the weight...cheesy as that sounds (ooh I could murder some cheese right now!).

    Take care and let us know how you are getting on x
  10. westhills

    westhills I STILL mean it!

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    Good for you Lisa. One of the first things that happened to me, on a psychological level, was that I stopped taking cr** from anyone - especially OH. It's hard for them, when they've been used to doing and saying as they like, but hey - they get over it, (or not) and adjust to the different situation.
    Keep focussed, and stay with who you are.
    Ann xxx
  11. nadhak


    lighter life maintaining and occasional re-starting
    Hope it all works out for you - I know I changed and became less submissive with the confidence I gained through weight loss! Could this be your issue too?
    I hope he comes to his senses - you stay strong and focussed as you are doing - Proud of you!
  12. sainte_esprit

    sainte_esprit Member

    Dear Lisa

    dont let anybody or anything to bring you down, you are doing this for yourself, to feel better and happier. People just have to get used to it. If you dont find enough support from the people around you, dont forget we are all here for you, behind you, please keep on going, You WILL do this.

    lots of love
  13. Summerskye

    Summerskye Gold Member

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    Lisa, the only person you're losing weight for is you (as has been said before) .. and it rather sounds to me that he is the one with the problem, not you.

    There are a lot of people who are threatened by change in others - especially when they aren't able or willing to change themselves - but that is no reason not to love yourself enough to want to achieve your own goals.

    I hope tomorrow is a better day for you, honey - and we'll all still be here for you too.

  14. Petal01

    Petal01 Still Climbing That Hill!

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    Hi Lisa hope your ok, thinking of you.
  15. KD

    KD Gone fishing

    Was Cambridge, now maintaining
    Aww Lisa. What a crap time you must be having.

    Lots of hugs [​IMG]
  16. IreneH

    IreneH Gold Member

    We are all here for you and you are the one dealing with your problem - and the weight is going down and you are doing this for you so if it doesn't suit other people tough.
    Big ((((hugs))))
    Irene xx
  17. KateF

    KateF Silver Member

    Just adding to what everyone else has said Lisa-

    It sounds like you're so strongly ready for transformation, and that you might have to do it without all the support you would like and deserve.

    I hope things work out with your husband in whatever way is best for you and wish you loads of luck on the rest of your journey-

    and know that you'll have lots of support here on Minimins.

    Kate xxx
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  19. jack29

    jack29 Full Member

    Cambridge Diet
    Lisa really dont know what to say but stay strong and keep us updated. We all support you here and will be thinking of you. Lot's of love...
  20. MrsSkint

    MrsSkint Regular Member

    Hope you managed to sleep last night.
    Sending you a big ((hug))
  21. natpot

    natpot Full Member

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    Lisa, just wanted to say I'm thinking of you and hope the whole situation is resolved in a positive way for you.
  22. lavender

    lavender Silver Member

    "To thine own self be true!!!" and thats exactly what your doing, well done and I am sure if you stick to your own gut feelings and follow them ,the future will be good for you, in whatever shape that takes. be strong, life is not a rehearsal and we only get one go at it so make it count!!!
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