ProPoints I am going to do it!

[jillz]

I'm a bit shy so I don't really know if I'll be able to carry this through but with the aim of making it to goal weight I'm doing everything I can to make myself accountable.

Not even sure where to start...

As a child, I was what people would term "podgy" but like the ugly duckling, a beautiful girl emerged when I became a teenager. However, after the birth of my child (almost 19 years ago) I started to become "podgy" again. Now, I'm what is known as "obese". Such a horrible word and I'm determined no one will call me it again.

At my lowest point I was 17 stone and the day I had to buy a size 26 top was the day I decided it was time to lose those few extra baby pounds [!]

I got myself down to 14 stone and life was great for a while.

I'm skipping over the divorce bit, the heartbreak, the years of loneliness etc... wasted too many years on that already.

I was down to 13.5 stone at one point (not exactly skinny I know!) and met my wonderful other half. He loved this slim me and never knew the "fat girl" inside, he never even knew she had ever existed. Unfortunately she turned up a couple of years later after tooooo many chinese takeaways, KFCs, Big Macs, creamy pasta dishes and pizzas and before I knew it, I was up to 16 stone again.

We went to a wedding in Vienna in September and I just hated myself while I was there. Everyone else was slim and wore pretty little dresses and strappy little sandals and there I was in my extra large dress with my puffy ankles giving me jip in my too tight shoes.

But... I had an idea... every time I had a negative thought about myself I sent a text to my mobile phone stating what it was and what I wanted to change. By the end of the week, I had quite a list!

When we got home I read them all again and was determined to lose weight.

I had a brief go on Lipotrim earlier in the year and it wasn't for me.

I don't get Slimming World at all, I don't think I have the self control to do it, so I went along with my friend to Weight Watchers at the end of September. I liked the thought of the control over the food I ate.

Starting weight was 15st 6.5lb. I was ashamed but I knew I was in the right place to do something about it.

Weight loss has been gradual and I've only had one gain of 0.5lb and I'm putting that down to the fact that I wore my heavy boots that day to weigh in. (I swear that's the reason).

So at this point I'm down to 14st 2lb and I'm coping really well. I had a 2lb weight loss over Christmas which was fabulous and a 1.5lb weight loss last week so I'm over the moon.

My first goal is to get to 13st 7lb as that's the weight I was when I met the OH and I am starting to see that goal in sight.

I really want to get to 10st 7lb. I think that's my goal weight. It's the goal I've set myself anyway. I don't remember when I last weighed that but I was definitely a teenager anyway.

So my name is Jillz and this is my weight loss diary...

 

[ems789]

Well done you!!

Your story sounds similar to mine - they called it 'puppy fat' to me in my childhood! Got skinnier as a teenager and I've been yoyo-ing since I had my son 12 years ago - but I was at my heaviest when i joined WW on jan 3rd at 15st 4.5

I lost 4.5 in my first week and really would like to get down to 10 stone - the weight I was when I first met my husband 15 years ago as we are renewing our wedding vows in October

So good luck to you! I offer you my support through you journey and look forward to hearing you progress xx

 

[jillz]

Thank you ems! and well done on your 4.5lb loss! That's amazing and you're on your way to that 10st goal!
xo

 

[jillz]

Thank you Nissi for your kind comments.

I must say the reason I wanted to do this weight loss diary was to hold myself accountable for my weight loss. Too many times in the past I dieted in secret, telling no one what I was doing with the effect that I simply forgot that I was dieting and fell off the wagon many times. I think I didn't want to admit that I needed to diet. Of course, anyone looking at me knew that I needed to diet so I don't know who I was kidding. There was another reason for telling no one... if no one knew I was dieting then I could eat chips, burgers etc without anyone nagging me that I shouldn't be doing it.

This time it's different. Everyone in the family knows I'm at weight watchers. Everyone at work and anyone who knows me on Facebook knows so there's no escape.

But it's ok. I'm in the zone and doing well. Rather than nagging me, everyone is telling me how well I'm doing so... so far so good.

 

[jillz]

Weekends are my hardest time. I guess they are for most people too. I'm lucky, I hardly ever drink so I don't need propoints for alcohol but my OH is a big fan of eating out and that's how I put the weight on from I met him five years ago.

I struggle with trying to get him to eat good, honest, home cooked food in the house but for handiness he'd rather go out to a restaurant. He doesn't cook you see and before he met me, him and the kids ate out most nights so eating out was normal for him whereas I love cooking up a storm in the kitchen.

Imagine complaining about going out to restaurants?!? I'm not being smug... we always made good budget choices when eating out if not good healthy choices.

So most weekends I try to replicate the restaurant food for him and the kids while I have something healthy.

Last night they had steak with full fat chips while I had a chicken breast and salad with a weighed portion of actifry chips.

I have to say that I love the actifry chips. It's a great feeling enjoying the chips knowing that they're a healthy choice compared to the deep fried version. I put a little spice on them before they cook and they're just gorgeous!

I got my bread maker out over Christmas too and have started making my own bread. It's a bit of a cheat to say that I make it. I bung all the ingredients in before we go to bed and the bread is ready in the morning.

I think the home made bread is off limits for me though. I'm estimating that a thin slice is about 3 or 4pp before I put anything on it and it's very hard to cut a thin slice.

So I'm doing all I can to tempt them to stay home but today is a beautiful day (almost feels like Spring is here) and we're going out in the car for a drive up to the North coast which mean that we'll eat out at a restaurant for tea. I can't win them all!

Fingers crossed I can avoid the creamy chilli chicken pasta dish and go for the salad and chicken.

Wish me luck!

 

[jillz]

Thanks Nissi! What a wonderful reason to do it! Great to know that we're on this road together!

 

[jillz]

Ooh Cyprus! What a fabulous place to live! I have holidayed there about 4 times now and always come away thinking that I would love to live there permanently.

What part are you in? We stayed in Protaras and Paphos, loved them both but I guess they're both very touristy.

The meze sounds gorgeous and it's good you're staying in control with it. That's what it's all about isn't it? feeling you're in control.

You really sound as if you're going to make that goal of bring a slim trim gran!

btw... what is team 2012?

 

[jillz]

So we're back from the drive and I had planted the seed earlier about eating at the chinese so that's what we did. Eating there meant I could have the singapore noodles and not feel that I was missing out on anything.

Everyone says that chow mein and singapore noodles are 10pp but I don't know, there's an awful lot of eating there for just 10pp.. I always mark them down as 20pp just in case.

3pp left now for the rest of the evening...

 

[jillz]

Lol! My mother taught me how to plant a seed in a man's mind so that they think it's their idea. Works every time!

Thanks for the link

Since I'm in Northern Ireland we are encouraged to sign up to this site Weight Watchers Ireland | Weight Watchers Home

You might find it useful, it's free and they're supposed to send you a weekly newsletter, mind you I signed up before Christmas and haven't seen anything yet.

Foodwise today wasn't great, wasn't terrible but could have been much, much better.

My weigh in is on Wednesday at 5pm so I always start getting nervous on Monday in case I've put any weight on.

Apparently today is Blue Monday so our work (kind souls that they are) organised subways for everyone. I got the chicken one, with no cheese and a tiny wee bit of south west sauce.. and there was a box of Walkers cheese and onion crisps sitting there calling to me. So, I obviously couldn't walk away without taking a bag.

I got back to my desk and decided I wasn't going to eat it, but everyone else was eating theirs and well... the willpower just gave way.

So.. so far today I've had 18pp and that leaves only 11pp now for dinner. Yikes! Usually by this stage I've only eaten about 9pp!

Luckily I visit my parents' house on a Monday night and their dinners are always good choices with healthy portion sizes. I just might get away without going into the weekly points today.

Crossing the fingers again!

 

[jillz]

We live in the Paphos district but up in the hills on the road to Polis, near a place called Stroumpi. We live in a farming village called Polemi. Our house is on the edge of the vineyards with two neighbours half a field behind us.

Feeling in control is just what it is about. I have taken over my body instead of it taking over me!!!

I do believe I was there! I remember the name Stroumpi!

 

[jillz]

Weigh in tomorrow and am a bit nervous. I weighed myself yesterday morning and scales were showing a 3lb gain! Was wearing the heavy boots again... but I don't think they'd be responsible for 3lb!

Feeling a bit bloated and a bit constipated so have upped the intake of Allbran these last two days to get things moving again. [If I read this back in a month or so will I be affronted that I put this on the internet?? Probably!!]

I have irritable bowel so I seem to have bouts of constipation every couple of weeks. The only way round it is to eat All Bran. I was hospitalised when I was 12 with constipation. Now there's an embarassing story! They admitted me because I was in extreme pain and they thought it was my appendix but no a suppository soon sorted me out. The consultant at the time told me I'd need to eat All Bran every day for the rest of my life. I didn't believe him at the time but I've a feeling he may have been right. It just took me.. what? 31 years to believe him!

Still there's worse things I could have to eat! I add a chopped banana, raspberries and blackberries to it and I actually look forward to eating it these days.

So, tomorrow morning I'll be choosing the lightest shoes that I own to wear for weigh in... every little helps at this stage!

 

[jillz]

I think I'll have to invest in a pair of ballet slippers! I see other ladies wearing them at the weigh in. At least the footwear would be consistent each week.

Stepped on the scales this morning and showing a 2lb gain from this time last week. Weigh in tonight at 5pm - aargh!

 

[jillz]

Down, down, down... been depressed all day and feel worse now

I had a 1.5lb gain at WW so my worst fears were imagined.

Did some analysis into my previous weeks weigh ins and could see a pattern that the week I ovulate is the week I either stay the same or gain a 0.5lb.

Does that explain it? I don't know...

I've pointed everything and by weigh in tonight I still had 20 daily PP and 8 weekly PP so by my reckoning I was still ok. I'm starting to think that if I use too many of my weekly points I'm not going to lose anything (or will gain).

So I'm starting afresh tomorrow and next week will stay within my daily points and try to avoid using my weekly points altogether. My Davina dvd arrived today so will try and do that as much as possible.

After weigh in DF (darling fiancé -new name for OH as was strangely reminded of pie chart every time I used OH) and I went to the chinese and then onto the cinema. Rather than my usual chow mein I had the spicy battered chicken and fried rice. Managed to only eat 5 maltesers at the cinema but home now and had a cup of coffee and finished off the last of the Christmas cake...don't worry wasn't like half the cake or anything but do think I've thrown a complete wobbler now.

:break_diet:

 

[jillz]

Thank you Nissi! You're so positive it's great to read what you write.

I'm thinking I don't eat enough during the day. When I started I would have had a lunch totalling maybe 6 to 9 points but recently I've cut that way back and am eating maybe only 2 points for lunch. The idea behind it being that I can eat more later (I would be snackish in the evenings).

So I'm starting today with my usual All bran, milk and banana and crusts away bread and laughing cow cheese for lunch with a WW fruit crumble biscuit bar for a treat.

I think I've been a bit down as DF and I were supposed to be going away this weekend. We have his kids 4 nights out of 7 (we have them 2 weekends in a row and then have a weekend off). But unfortunately DF comes with EW who dumps the kids on us more than she should. There's been a death on her new BF's side of the family and she's flying over to Scotland tomorrow morning for the weekend. So our weekend away has been postponed. I know she has to go, I know what happened was tragic but I am feeling down about it. We spend all of our holidays from work with the kids so I really appreciate some time away from them too. DF doesn't seem to get annoyed at the EW doing this, I suppose why should he? he's a good dad and gets to see his kids more but it frustrates me.

I'm trying to tell myself that there's nothing I can do to change things. I have to accept that if we are to be together then I'll have to learn to live with this. The youngest child is almost 9 so this will go on for another 6 or 7 years at least.

I wouldn't even mind as much if the EW and me had a relationship but she hates me... so I really resent her dumping the kids on us at every opportunity.

Must try and be more positive!

 

[jillz]

You're so right Nissi, get thin and shove it in her face! Best plan ever!

I'm in training all day today and wrote that last post during one of the breaks. Felt a bit embarassed afterwards when I was back in class but I'm glad now that I did. It has been playing on my mind for a few days and now that it's out, maybe I can get over it and on with things.

I can't get over the weather you're having! That must be a first surely? Worse too that the housing isn't designed for the cold, you can't go and knock on the heating like us.

You're so lucky with DH, toad in the hole sounds yum!

 

[boofle]

Hi jillz loved reading your entries, put your weight gain behind you and start afresh, i had a great week last week more exercise and ended up putting on, felt like slitting my throat, but unfortunately that is the way it goes sometimes good luck lol x

 

[jillz]

The weather is icy cold. We had overnight snow three years ago but it wasn't this cold and only lasted a few hours as it headed for the Troodos. Paphos itself where it is always warmer recorded 3c today! We dropped from 24 to 4c in the hills, so are feeling it. I put a coat and gloves on to walk the dogs, the first time since 2005!

The toad in hole was lovely and all within my points. I pointed the yorkshire as four breads to be on the safe side.

That is shocking weather for Cyprus and I'm sure you thought you'd left cold winters behind! I hope it passes soon and you're back to your normal mediterranean weather before long.

 

[xmrsrx]

Hello!
Your doing really well so keep up the good work. You can do it! Take small steps and those pounds will soon fall off.
Good luck xxx

 

[jillz]

Hi jillz loved reading your entries, put your weight gain behind you and start afresh, i had a great week last week more exercise and ended up putting on, felt like slitting my throat, but unfortunately that is the way it goes sometimes good luck lol x

Thanks Boofle! It's not easy when you see a gain and you know you haven't been "bad".

My friend at work is doing WW too. She was totally off track last week and only managed to gain 1lb. I suppose we have to take the rough with the smooth.

 

[jillz]

Had to stop DF from going to the Chinese again last night! Was tempting to go as it was late and we hadn't eaten but I knocked up a pretty good Chicken and Chorizo noodles for only 17pp each. I've never made it more but I just fried 1 chicken breast (9pp) and 1/4 chorizo sausage (7pp) with peppers and onions. Threw in 3 packets of Amoy straight to wok Singapore noodles (18pp) and cooked through. I have to say it was gorgeous! Was sooo glad we didn't go to the Chinese.

Afterwards I did the Davina aerobic fit workout so was feeling rather pleased with myself!

Tonight DF and the kids went to McDonalds as usual so I had my regular Friday night treat. M&S Spicy Sausage Tuscan pasta (17pp).

Stilll have 3 daily points left and haven't used any of my weekly points yet... so still feeling good