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I said I wasn't going to be........

.......fat and forty, yet here I am almost 41 now and 15st 10lb. I hadn't stepped on the scales in quite a time, just went by my clothes fitting (or not). but after returning from holiday last week and seeing the damning evidence of the photos for myself, I can't hide any longer. Watching the pictures on a slideshow on our tv with family and friends, I barely recognised the person in front of me. The eyes were familiar, but that was about all. Who had I become - I have kidded myself on for many years, 'I'll never be bigger than a 14/16/18', 'I'll never be heavier than 12 stone/13/14', but these landmarks have all been passed.
I have 3 young chldren, I want to be able to play rounders and football with them without being out of breath.
I found this site, purely by accident yesterday and spent a couple of hours reading encouraging, funny, thought provoking posts and looking at truly inspirational photos of beautiful people.
I decided then and there, this was it, this was the day I changed, and not the usual old 'diet on Monday' crap that seemed to my efforts before. I know what to eat, I know how and when to eat, I've got recipe books groaning on shelves never opened, thinking that buying the books would make me slim.
It is time to get real and honest - I am fat, I do not want to be. I want to be around to see my kids and their kids grow up. I want to dance, to run and be me again.
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aww hun firstly huge huge hugs
I know excatly where you are coming from (4 kids not quite 40)
the main thing is that you have taken the first step you have had a good look at what you see and decided that no you really dont like it .
The thing is inside you are still who you want to be just that your body has others plans
good luck in your quest you can do it and you will do it !!1
which plan are you going to follow ?
good luck again
Hello flumpster67, welcome to the forum. :)

Good for you, for making the decision to change, that is one of the biggest and hardest hurdles to cross, so give yourself a pat on the back because you can achieve your dreams with a little effort and time.;)

Remember to stay as positive as you can while on your weight-loss journey, I have found that it really helps me if I try and stay in a good mood. And don't worry if one day you can't because you can always come on here and offload your troubles, you will always have such great support from such lovely people, I have found that out from experience of this forum so far.

So good luck with your weight-loss journey, you will be losing those pounds in no time, so chin-up, stay positive.

Will keep coming back and reading your diary and offering my support as much as I can. ;)

Day 3,
First two days have been fine, mainly sticking to Weightwatchers recipes and eating tons more fruit, with the added benefit of some fresh veggies from the garden. Meals are no problem for me, its evening snacking that does the real damage, but as its the holidays all our meals have been shifted a bit later anyway.
I think I am more determined and focused than I have ever been with this - I'm not seeing it as a chore I have to do now. I am out of the 'Today I have to clean the bath, hoover, iron, lose weight', and I think thats probably been my downfall in the past.
Its strange, I reread my earlier entry and I cried. I didnt when I wrote it, only on reading it back. I suppose you have all this stuff in your head all the time but its only when you write it down it becomes more real, like theres no where to hide and no way to cover up whats really going on. I have never been one for keeping diaries in the past, but I think this will help.


Busy busy busy!!
S: 15st3lb C: 13st11lb G: 10st0lb BMI: 33.1 Loss: 1st6lb(9.39%)
Good for you - and wishing you every continued success in your weight loss journey. Keep coming back on to keep your motivation high.


Bouncing back
keep going flumpster... you're doing really well. it's these first few days that are the hardest.
you're going to look gorgeous on next years holiday pics and the kids will be huffing and puffing playing rounders with you!!!

Hiya, nice to see that you have had a couple of good days. Keep it up, you will be losing those pounds in no time.

Keeping a diary is really helping me, I think it is exactly the thing you need if you are looking for support and motivation. :hug99: I hope you feel better after your cry from reading your first post, I hope it doesn't get you down too much. In a few weeks time you will see a nice improvement and will look back at yourself differently and see what a positive change you have made. ;)

Well done, see you soon and have a wonderful day tomorrow.

Love Gemma
Have been away for a few days as it was my sis in laws birthday and we had a family get together, the usual chippies, fry ups,eating out and barbie on the beach. Normally wall to wall eating and flowing alcohol. This was no exception, but I managed to stay remarkly restrained, and didnt even mind that everyone was stuffing themselves round about me. I made tasty but good choices, ate slowly and what I could and left the rest.......much to everyones bewilderment. 'What's wrong?' 'Why aren't you eating?' 'Do you want something else?'. I don't know if they just werent looking but I'm not really one that needs feeding up! I enjoyed myself, I had enough and didn't deprive myself of the stuff I did want, consequently when stepping on the scales yesterday had lost 3lb - probably not a lot for most peoples first week, but that is great for me considering I have been at A&E twice in one week with two different kids and away to a family get together for four days - more than enough stress to normally have me reaching for the multipack of crisps and the family size dairy milk.
Have another long weekend away from tomorrow till Monday, so lets hope it is as successful as the last one
Just had my check up at the renal clinic - only have one slightly damaged kidney so even more reasons to shed the excess poundage!
Consultant is pleased with my blood pressure but has noticed my weight had crept up since last visit - about 6kg in 6 months:eek: Gave me a bit of a slap on the wrists :cry:Hopefully when I go back for my next appointment he will notice a change
Okay, checking in afetr another few days away. Took the kids to see their dad in Inverness and managed to resist crisps and chocolate. Deliberately bought chocolate icecream for them (cos I don't like it):p
Got back today and weighed in - another 3lb off - I am very pleased with this as ate out 3 times, although I did watch my choices and perhaps my appetite is getting smaller as i actually left food on the plate:eek: dont tell anyone will you.
Definately not feeling the urge for snacking at night as I normally do and am drinking loads more water instead of fizzy drinks and squash.
Must take measurements when I can find my tape measure, they will tell the whole story I think
Well done hun, 6lbs off is fantastic when you are not really depriving yourself, just making sensible choices and controlling portions. The more you lose, the less you will be able to eat. I am impressed by your diary, especially having had two weekends away! Well done again x


Silver Member
S: 17st2.0lb C: 12st8.5lb G: 11st2.0lb BMI: 27.6 Loss: 4st7.5lb(26.46%)
well done, it sounds like you are on the right track and are making educated choices around food, so well done you, watch those lbs fall off!!
Been a little bit 'bleurgh' the past couple of days - terrible migraine yesterday, the remnants of which are hanging about this morning, so only managed a couple of bowls of soup yesterday as was a bit sick feeling.
Whats really annoying me is that I want to get out for a walk today to really clear my head, I have free time in the afternoon as the kids are off to a film club in the village for a couple of hours, but I cannot put anything on my right foot. I just dont know what I have done, I have a pain ON TOP of my foot and I can't put shoes on - ANY shoes, not even barely there flip flops - it feels like a very tender bruised area, but I cannot see it - I just woke up with it the other day and its not gone yet. I can walk on it though which is okay
So looks like boring old housework in my barefeet with the windows open, its just not the same:doh:

Just want to say wahooooo. :happy096: Congratulations on your 6lbs off that is brilliant you should be really proud of that achievement and take a lot of encouragement from that and the best thing is your not depriving yourself, well done you. :D

I'm sorry your foot is so sore today. If it gets any worse you should go to the docs and get it checked out.

Chin up and I hope your day gets better, don't let the housework stress you out.

Have a lovely day.
See you soon. I'm off on holiday for a few days so will check in when I come back.

Love Gemma
Yippee - another 1lb off - thats half a stone:)
Had a busy weekend(again!) out with the girls on Friday night, and managed to fall BEFORE I got into the pub - result - took top layer of skin off my right knee and a chunk out of my big toe(maybe a pounds worth!:p), I have a bruise from my knee spreading down my leg, and a lovely weeping wound which keeps sticking to my trousers.
I am really enjoying my food at the moment and instead of snacking on crisps,biscuits and chocolate, I am having a small amount of almonds and a couple of dried apricots which seem to satisfy my sweet tooth.
Still struggling to get exercise sorted just now, hopefully when the kids go back to school next week, my leg and foot will be better and I can get mobilised again

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