I'm lost

[EatenMess]

This morning went really well! At the moment nurse is concerned about my allergy / chest infection / onset of asthma so has prescribed me a steroid inhaler, some different anti b's and thinks alot of the way i'm feeling is because of whats happenign to my chest etc as my temp is still quite high and my oxygen level isn't as high as it should be.

However she listened to me and was really nice, she has given me some B Vitamins to takeand i'm off back to see her next Monday. Next time we'll have a proper chat about how i'm feeling and what i can do, (we've booked a triple slot!) - as well as see if this 'illness' is clearing or can be diagnosed.

On the upside i weighed in this morning in Boots at 7lbs lighter (over 2 weeks) so that has really boosted my mood, i'm taking the kids swimming after school so will feel much better after that!

Thanks all so much and here are my 3-5 things so far today:

1. My son and daughters huge cuddle and smile this mornign telling me how lovely i am
2. My weigh in -7lbs in 2 weeks
3. Someone elderly ladies telling me in the coffee shop what a gorgeous and polite toddler i have

 

[Kate1978]

Hi Eaten, I was wondering how you got on. I am so pleased for you and so glad that your nurse is so nice and understanding, it seems that she really wants to help you get to the bottom of this without throwing every pill under the sun at you.
Fantastic news on your loss too, half a stone in a fortnight, thats fantastic, I'm just starting week 2 and I doubt I'll manage what youve done so hats of to you.

I love your 3 positives for today, all of them lovely and all very worthwhile and its only lunchtime, you could have another few stacked up by the end of the day

Enjoy your swim xx

 

[EatenMess]

Thanks Kate! This nurse is really nice, i went to the Dr's in March with this problem and saw another nurse and a gp who both sent me home telling me it would go away! I've had these probs since December - and she is the only one with a caring nature!

I'm sure your efforts will be great! I am determined NOT to fail this time and fall off plan! Just done a little shop to keep us going until major shopping on Thursday and OH was trying to tempt me into a HUGE pizza in Asda (chillies and chorizo) and pizza is my fave food, but i said NO and sent him to the butchers ha ha! So i now have 2 more positives for today aswell !

4. Saying no to OH and his tempting offer to my favourite food pizza!
5. Seeing how amazing all my veg / tomato plants that i've grown from seed are doing another succesful aspect to the day!

Keep me up to date with how your going too hun! And thanks again for your support!x

 

[Kate1978]

I've had bother with nurses and Docs before too although its on a condition I have, they just wouldnt listen to me for nearly 20 years, ridiculous. Took me so long to actually get the care I need on a permanent basis, when you find the right one, it makes all the difference.
I'm just so glad you have found one that actually gives a stuff and cares about you and not just a number in a book.
Well done on the other positives, theres always load to be positive around and focussing on the little things make the slightly bigger things seem less daunting.

You are more than welcome on the support, thats what we are all here for, to help each other along and I'm sure I'll need yours at some point too

Today things are going ok for me, I have been angellic, apart from some butter with my baked tattie but its the only syns I have used and none are planned for tonight so I should be ok. I'll weigh in again on Friday morning although I need sneakily weigh myself again this morning and I'm another pound down (although I'm not registering it in case I put it back on) so I am going in the right direction

xx

 

[JaneN]

I love my veggie growing too isn't it so satisfying to eat something you grew yourself? And know it's full of goodness too.

Well done on your 7lb loss that is FANTASTIC! So glad you're feeling stronger now too and got lots of support. x

 

[AliGal]

Lovely positives, EM. I am also impressed you planted seeds given how rotten you've been feeling - and impressed you got cleaning. I remember weeping down the phone to one sister that I couldn't even do my washing up. 15 mins later another sister turned up hugged me, and set about doing the washing up as she made a cup of coffee. Simple practical help that made me feel so much better.

I am really pleased you have a decent practice nurse - and have a plan with her to talk it through when you see how things are going. Take care of yourself.

 

[EatenMess]

Thanks Ali and Jane!

The seed planting was on a good day, those are rarely few and tbh if i knew i had a support network behind me i think i'd definately have many of those days you mentioned! Thats part of my problem - everyone thinks i am so strong becuase i HAVE to carry on, if i were to melt down there's de no support around me (oh's family don't live anywhere nearby and i no longer have anyone in my family to speak too - and even if i did they wouldnt care less, when myself and the children needed them and were in dire straits we were the last thing on their list - and that's a completely different story!)

Aaaaaanyway - today has been a GOOD day! And thanks for your replies!! xx

 

[sparty]

Counselling takes a long time to get arranged these days but you can talk to your doctor and look at your options. There is never any pressure to take counselling and if you do go along and don't like it then you can change or stop.

I have had issues of depression recently and had to face up to going along to my GP. He has been wonderful it has to be said and I am a regular monthly back there now, I am receiving the treatment I need but at a pace I'm happy with. The first trip had me come away with vitamin B6 so please don't think they'll shove drugs at you and leave you to it.

Go along and have a chat, it's really not scary and thats what they're there for. Please do look after yourself for the sake of you and your children. ((hugs)) you're not alone x

My GP was brilliant with me when I was going through mild depression - sometimes just having someone believe that you are not going crazy and that something is wrong can be a massive help.

We are all in his together - don't forget that xx

 

[sparty]

Thanks Kate! This nurse is really nice, i went to the Dr's in March with this problem and saw another nurse and a gp who both sent me home telling me it would go away! I've had these probs since December - and she is the only one with a caring nature!

I'm sure your efforts will be great! I am determined NOT to fail this time and fall off plan! Just done a little shop to keep us going until major shopping on Thursday and OH was trying to tempt me into a HUGE pizza in Asda (chillies and chorizo) and pizza is my fave food, but i said NO and sent him to the butchers ha ha! So i now have 2 more positives for today aswell !

4. Saying no to OH and his tempting offer to my favourite food pizza!
5. Seeing how amazing all my veg / tomato plants that i've grown from seed are doing another succesful aspect to the day!

Keep me up to date with how your going too hun! And thanks again for your support!x

Brilliant achievements today - is your OH doing the diet too!? Maybe if you did it together you could motivate eachother?

 

[EatenMess]

Brilliant achievements today - is your OH doing the diet too!? Maybe if you did it together you could motivate eachother?

Thansk hun! Yep OH is doing it along with me - he's diabetic anyway so has to follow quite a strict diet although he IS pretty rubbish at that at times!) tbh he's of rugby build naturally not fat at all, but has lots of muscle aswell from weightlifting a few years ago, although middle aged spread is catching up with him so he could do with watching what he eats anyway lol!


Today so far:

1. Amazing birdsong at 5 am this morning, so still quite and pretty and deafening all at the same time! Beautiful
2. Gorgeous views out over our ever so pretty village (we are set one side of a valley in a famous touristic village) and we overlook the steam railway and park with views out to the moors - very lucky!!

 

[EatenMess]

Only managed 2 yesterday and although i woke up this morming feeling positivie, i've cried a few times and feel pretty low! Money is so tight and dd - well all all of us need (and deserve) so many 'basic' things such as clothes / shoes and i just cannot afford them all! Pfffffft! Not sure how i let it get this bad....

Aaaanyway - onwards and upwards

So far today i have 3 positives:

1. I have stuck to plan 100% for 2 days since weigh in
2. I found the master cd for Office and have refreshed my CV
3. The above brought back so many happy memories of things i've achieved, experiences at work ane home, and i didn't dwell on any negatives of the past!

 

[sparty]

Brilliant that you managed to do your cv - you are getting closer to a new job really quickly so that should def go on your positives list for today!

 

[EatenMess]

Brilliant that you managed to do your cv - you are getting closer to a new job really quickly so that should def go on your positives list for today!

Thanks Chicken! x

 

[Kate1978]

Hey Eaten,

Sorry you arent having too good a day today, life is very frustrating at times and I know how you feel when it comes to affording things (thanks to a sod of an ex husband). Sometimes the best thing to do is cry, it gets it all out and refreshes you, I know it helps me when I feel low too.
Sending you cyber hugs and keep on listing those positives, they may seem small but they are lovely and enormous!

xx

 

[EatenMess]

Thanks Kate!

Feeling a bit better, MIl phoned this morning and said she had made me some money car booting at the weekend - and had gotten rid of quite alot of our stuff that she had in her shed from a car boot we were going to to do last year but cancelled.

Sooo managed to go out and kit the kids out, dd now has new sandals for school loads of socks, 3 or 4 new tops, some 3/4 trousers and a top / shorts all in one for summer and 2 lots of new pj's, got ds some new pj's, socks and 3 or 4 new tops aswell - will go back out tomorrow and get him some trousers, shorts and summer shoes as ran out of time! Going to buy dd a new recorder tomorrow so she can start lessons at school and get ds a few things for starting nursery.

then it's saving up time for school uniorms ha ha! How did they get so expensive?

4. Fresh Linen on the bed for tonight (i love that feeling)
5. Being told by OH that i am an amazing mother and that he couldnt have 'chosen' better for his kids

 

[Kate1978]

Thats great news on the car boot thing, mustve felt like a little windfall and I'm sure that in itself would have made you feel better. It's funny how things can turn round in a matter of minutes and you should definitely add it to your positives for today.

I love the linen feeling too and your OH sounds amazing, seems he knows just what to say to make you smile

x

 

[EatenMess]

6th positive of the day - todays little windfal and seeing the kids in their 'modelling' show trying on their new clothes

Thanks Kate! (again ) xx

 

[EatenMess]

1. Watching dd take part in Sports day
2. Sitting by one of our small pinds eating lunch and watching 6 Frogs pop up and watch me
3. Being asked by the parent / pupil manager at school to help out at the childrens centre next to school on a 5 week course leading up to DS joining nursery in school and helping first time parents adjust! Starting next Tuesday x

 

[AliGal]

Great news, EM. You are making connections and trusted by others - and you'll probably be more sensitive than some others to the mums and dads who are struggling. and you know what? They would probably never know how challenging you find life sometimes. They'll see you as a lovely helpful person who knows what is what. I think that's often the way. We don't see past each other's masks.

And I love that the frogs looked at you!

 

[EatenMess]

Thanks Ali!

I think part of the way i have been feeling is because i'm not working and as such have lost that respect and the knowledge thati can do something to make peoples lives easier, happier, more enjoyable. That people trust me and value my opionions etc etc. I used to get told in my previous role that i was really confident and that my smile was always commented on both by internal staff from other hotels / head offfice etc as well as guests and other staff - so that was always great. I honestly never see myself like that though, and so being at home with ds for 2 years has really knocked any confidence i had away!

And the frogs, ewwww i scream like a sissy of they hop near me, but i love watching them in the pond.

So 3 positives already today

1. I've decided to be creative while i'm out of work and decorate the kids and my bedroom, ( also going to buy some old and very cheap furniture i've seen (old victorian / edwardian wardrobes, chest of drawers, tables, dressing tables that type of thing) and give it a new walk of life - brighten the place up and get rid of these cheap horrible wardrobes and chest of drawers we now have. Whilst giving myself something to focus on and be proud of

2, Seeing dd excited that someone fairly famous is coming to school today and she is getting their autograph (Tom Palmer?)

3. Having dd's homework marked and being told she has the healthiest fridge in her class (good job she did it after i'd stocked it up lol)