Insulted...

Discussion in 'Weight Watchers' started by hannata, 8 April 2011 Social URL.

  1. hannata

    hannata I can haz cake?

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    So today I was at the pub for a couple of hours with a few mates (early start tomorrow so didn't stay out late) and I found myself being insulted by someone who'd I'd never expect it from.

    The conversation came to "chubby chasers" (hate the term but I'm not gonna ***** every time it gets mentioned) and one of the guys leaned over to me and said "allright hannah honey ;);)" in a very pointed way, and I was like... stunned.

    These *******s can sit there and ****ing stuff their face with **** all day long, drink beer all night long and never gain a pound nor an inch.

    I'm annoyed because they just DON'T GET IT. These people are supposed to be my mates :( They think its ok to joke about my suffering... The fact is they are seeing me as a fat arse and nothing else... they don't see what happens in the background... how HARD i've worked so far.

    The guy in question I was open for "interest", no romance or anything at the moment but not closed off to the idea... but he can literally go f*ck himself now. When I'm skinny and hot he's gonna regret being such a tit. Hell he doesn't even deserve an awesome person like me even this way. :mad::mad::mad::mad:

    So how do you deal with it? Should I pretend it never happened or just...what? x
     
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  3. Slimandtoned

    Slimandtoned Full Member

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    Hannata, that's horrible. You must have been so upset... It's always more hurtful from those close to you. Men don't get offended as often about weight comments so perhaps he didn't think there was anything wrong with him saying it, especially if you are mates. I would be inclined to use it as your motivation but please if it does come up in conversation, let him know that you found his comment hurtful so that he will have a chance to apologise. He may genuinely not have meant anything by what he said, even though it seems obvious to us that you shouldn't say those things to others...
     
  4. Cosmic Star

    Cosmic Star Full Member

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    Really sorry to gear that, thats horrible! Men just don't think! He probably thought you'd see the funny side if it. Us big girls are all happy, smily and bubbly like Dawn French!

    I once had a bloke at work make a few comments to me, then met his daughter who was actually bigger than me! Made me wonder if he made those comments to her - or made them to me because he couldn't to her!
     
  5. Sneeze

    Sneeze Silver Member

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    What a total asshat. What did you say when he made that comment?

    I'm not easily offended but would have been in that situation. You're right, they're meant to be mates and encouraging you - not making you feel worse. I definitely agree with Lou though that you need to make that your focus point. Whenever your tempted to binge or overeat your points, remember his comment and how it made you feel and it will make you more determined to lose the weight. Turn it around into something positive.

    Good luck. xxx
     
  6. Auburn

    Auburn x x x

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    I totally agree. What a stupid, ignorant, narrow-minded pr*ck.

    I am aware that my other half gets stick from his mates that he's a chubby chaser. They are typical "lads" who openly drool over any page-3 type girl they see in the street, and I am glad to say that he deals with it pretty well. Where I stand, I would much rather be real and me, than be a fake-tanned, fake-haired, fake-boobed bimbo that they gawp at.

    In my experience, men often have the tact of a brick and the subtlety of an elephant. Where he probably didn't realise what he was saying was offensive, and probably didn't mean to hurt your feelings, it is hard to forget those words once they are out in the open. Don't let them put you offtrack, you stick at it and in a few short weeks something will click, and he'll see you for the fab person that you are, all slinky and gawjus and healthier than his beer-swilling self (all that booze will catch up, by the way. He'll get a beergut eventually!!) and then it will click that he's missed out on something that could have been amazing :D x
     
  7. Marysu

    Marysu Silver Member

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    Christmas 2009, my OH friends and us were in a conversation about biscuits. Very random i know. However i stated i didn't like any biscuits except jaffa cakes and the sniggering started about how 'you'd know i was fond of jaffa cakes'. I politely removed myself from the conversation, ran to the bathroom and cried my eyes out. I vowed to lose this weight and never to be that size again. It worked as motivation for me but it's highly heart breaking for people to comment to you face about your size.
     
  8. Toots

    Toots Gold Member

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    Aaaaw hun, that's awful. It would have really upset me too!!

    The thing is that some blokes just don't seem to get that remarks can be so wounding. A couple of my male mates greet each other thus "now then, ya fat tw*t" and "how's things ya baldy [email protected]". One is, indeed, larger than average - the other follically challenged - but it doesn't upset them :confused: Always makes me cringe though

    I guess what I'm trying to say is that they are not meaning to hurt you - they're just clueless. But by the same token - DO NOT LET THEM OFF WITH IT!!

    :hug99:
     
  9. hannata

    hannata I can haz cake?

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    I responded by turning around and ignoring him in a dramatic huffy funny type way..was annoyed but i didn't want to make a big deal about it. The other guys knew it was a step too far and they seemed a bit mortified... my sister was raging as well.

    He is a bit of a loser anyways and that just cut my interest in him completely. He knows that I go to ww and he knows that I put a lot of effort into all this crap.. The other guys don't know that much at all, but still knew where the line was.

    I'm not put off in my crusade but I certainly see him in a lesser light than I did. If anything its just making me more determined to show them alllll!
     
  10. Auburn

    Auburn x x x

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    Damn right :D
     
  11. kagome75

    kagome75 WWer

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    I'm really sorry to know that Hannah, it would have hurt anyone! I remember when Italy won the world cup and I was walking in Rome with all my girlfriends and a bloke shouted a "ehi fat ar*se" behind us... we didn't know whom among us the comment was addressed to but it did hurt us... men don't really know when they should shut up! Coming from a person you know and consider a mate it's even more distressing :(

    Others did well in telling you to use it as a push to keep on going and to show him who's the "chubby chaser" when you reach goal weight!!! You'll show him girl, go on and keep your focus. He'll be sorry :mad:
     
  12. Purple_Star

    Purple_Star Silver Member

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    Good on u. Show him what you can do, and what he is missing out on. You are WAYYYY to good for him, theres no doubt about that!
     
  13. juicygooseface

    juicygooseface ♥juicy♥

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    this is awful, i think you should bring up the subject of men with small penises, and then do the same thing to him, e.g, alright bob honey?;) xx
    p.s im calling him bob for now :) xx
     
  14. hannata

    hannata I can haz cake?

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    hahaha thanks for all the replies ladies, this is why I love this place so much. I know in the past I would have got down and gone for the biccie tin, but now I can log on and talk to so many people in the very same situation...

    The worst thing is I know he's into me but I couldn't be further from interested LOL x
     
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