It's a new Jax attack!

Hello lovely ladies,
Oh how I have missed you all. I wont bore you all with the details of my depression-there! I have said it-I think I have been depressed and it's a bit of a struggle. Menopause is not kind-doctor useless,relying on Black Cohosh, Omega 3 oils,St.Johns Wort and sheer determination-though , to be honest, I have only just discovered the determination!

Anyway, I am as big as a house! My weight has shot up but, not from tomorrow-it will be on the way down as I am going to have a good old 'Jax-attack' on it.

I was 49 years old on Tuesday and I will not spend the last years of my 40's as a woman who is morbidly obese. Fat and 50 will not be an option -next year I will be Fab and 50!

So, I am looking for a CD Counsellor close to the Deptford/New Cross area? Anyone know one. Don't want to go back to the lady in Greenwich-not her fault but, mine.
Looking forward to being one of the girls again.
Howdy doody Jax!! Great to see you posting and sounding so positive.

Sorry to hear you've been down lately but you haven't let it beat you and that's the important thing. Life can sometimes fling a lot of sh** at us but remember ... out of manure, roses can grow!

Keep us posted on how things are going :)
Sending you big cyber hugs! ((((huggggg))))
Morning all,
Well, I am up for a day of milkshakes and determination. I saw a programme yesterday where people were tapping the front of their heads and saying things out loud as a means of reinforcing their belief in themselves-can't think of the proper term for that??!! Self proclamation?? Oooo, what is that term!?? Anyone know?

Anyway, I will probably have a bruise at the front of my head today as I say outloud " I do not want to eat""-whilst tapping my face and other points on my body! I will try anything!

Have a good day everyone:)
Ah , fell flat on my face! What happened to the determination???!!
I need a counsellor! Have requested details of counsellors for CD on their web page-so am eagerly awaiting news.
Hope everyone is well. Going to be spending a lot of time over the next 3 days on this site as I am not at work till Tuesday and this is the perfect time to get this journey rolling!
Hi Jax,

The tapping is what Paul McKenna was doing on his show, think it is the same thing...Diva and Q_D are big into.

If you can't get started now why not try cutting the carbs out or very low and that will help with the withdrawals if you are planning to start again.

I had the carbs down low and I got into ketosis very quickly, it just took 24 hours and no withdrawals.

Just over two weeks now and doing fine.

Lovely to see you here and I do hope all goes well for you, all we can do is keep trying and we are bound to get it right sometime.

Stay strong and don't give up.

Love Mini xxx
Good afternoon everyone,
Have been low carbing today and it's all going very well. Still tapping my head-feel a bit silly but, will keep at it!
Have contacted 2 CD Counsellors and awaiting call back-so hope to have that sorted in a few days. I realise now, that trying to do it on my own just wasn't going to work. Plus trying to find low-carb milkshakes that tasted half decent, was impossible! Some of them were so vile, I actually felt sick.Eyuck!

Drinking lots and that feels good in itself-reminds me that I am doing the right thing for me.

I know it can be done because 'I half did it' before! So, excited at the prospect of fitting into clothes again and I focus on that feeling of amazement when I did it before-the sheer joy at skirts being too big and just the lovely feeling of experiencing more confidence and the begining of self pride. What an awful experience it is to be Obese, especially 'Morbidly' so.
I always think of myself as a morbidly obese woman and quantify my existence by that-and that is so wrong but, it so hard not to in our society!

Anyway, feeling more positive and tapping away-have a good weekend everyone. I have to go to B&Q for a special face mask so I can treat some woodworm in the cellar-oh yes! I know how to have fun!???!

Morning all,
Realise I have a long journey in front of me so, will keep my own log on here for a while yet.

Am hungry this morning and I have to go out today as I didn't yesterday-purely because I know I can't trust my self on the first day! I have had so many 'first days' over the past year-Ground Hog day again and again. The only difference was that I grew bigger everyday.

But, those 4lbs off since yesterday are a great incentive and reading through all the posts are the best source of help. What a great bunch you all are.

I have used a picture of my dog Millie as I am too ashamed to post a picture of myself and the one I had posted recently, was of me 3 stones lighter! Who was I trying to kid!!
So, for now, Millie will have pride of place till I have the confidence to post one of myself-she weighs around 8 stones and that's what I am planning to lose-so she is a great reminder!!! Bless!
Got my Ticker thingy on here with the first goal of 30kgs to lose!

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Another Day completed-I know I declare the day completed over but, I rarely would break a diet after 5 pm!!! So, am always confident around this time:eek:

I am not on SS yet as am awaiting response from a CD counsellor-hopefully, should hear something in the next day or 2?

I have been passing hideous amounts of water-always a good sign!! Will be having 2 milkshakes and 1 meal from tomorrow. I have been low carbing and sticking to 800 calories for the past 2 days and now feel ready to have a go at pushing myself a bit harder-I want those amazing weight losses!!!

Honey don't ever be ashamed of your photos. They are who you are at a certain point in time, a reference if you like. It's about the person you are inside, and that you keep trying throughout all the hard times. xx

Bless ya D-Q. Your words were spot on-the photos are a reference to who I am now and I really do believe I am changing.

Awoke in the night very hungry-so had Tiger Prawns!! There is little else in the freezer, so I am glad as would have been very tempted.

Love the Ticker thing-it is a great incentive to see the sun moving through the trees! Decided I will go on holiday when it gets to the end of my first goal.
When I have acheived that, I will set my next goal.

It will be my nieces 18th tomorrow and I am a bit worried about my control around cake and champagne-the cake I can leave but, Champagne...mmmm:confused:

I will 'worry' about that tomorrow as today I am going to have another great day-isn't it odd? We wake up and we know how the day is going to go?! Which proves to me that my eating is all about emotions and how I feel about myself-so that's where I am focusing on.

Found my Paul McKenna book and cd-so will spend the next month listening to that!


Have a good day all.

It will be my nieces 18th tomorrow and I am a bit worried about my control around cake and champagne-the cake I can leave but, Champagne...mmmm:confused:

Had my DD's 9th birthday yesterday - surrounded by pizza and chocolate cake!! As you can see, I spent the day loitering on here to keep myself on track. You can do it mate - and just think of big glass of champagne you can have to celebrate your losses! ;)
Hi Linda,
No reply via e-mail yet! I had my phone disconnected-through choice!! I rarely used it and now I could kick myself. I have a mobile and I don't expect people to call me on it-one of the reasons for getting rid of the landline!!;)

What do you suggest I do-should I try again, I have a bit of a phone phobia-shocking I know but, never comfortable phoning people I don't know.

Any suggestions Linda?

Well done Jax for staying strong and losing 4lbs. already!

It does feel really good when you wake up in the morning and know you have done so well the day before.

Love Mini xxx
Good morning,

Down another whole pound! Lol . That one pound is very important to me as it means I am one pound away from the 19's. Of course, I have a long way to go bit, not being 20 stones 6 lbs is a small elief.

Ay, it does feel good *Mini* to know within yourself you are doing it!!!!

Will e-mail you *Bracken*-thank you.

Have a great day all.