JanD (Another) New Year (Another) New Start :o)) x

[summergurl]

Yey well done for steering clear of mr smirnoff How you finding being back at work? xx

 

[JanD]

I can't say I'm feeling it yet Bev but I'm sure I will The hunger hasn't left me yet .. I'm sure once it does I'll feel much better and more focussed!

I've booked the break with Mum now - 9th - 13th July in Llandudno again but different hotel from last year. I've also booked half-board this time to save finding somewhere to eat each evening & stressing about wheelchair accessibility/disabled loos etc. So I won't be TFRing during that time but other than that I hope to get a good run at it!!

I felt a bit 'judged' and even 'disapproved of' this afternoon .... I hadn't intended to tell anyone about TFRing - not that it's a secret, it's just easier. But at art I ended up mentioning it - maybe in part due to what I said the other day about the tutor making a fuss with cake etc. on birthdays - and said that I seem to get the determination at odd times for example with it being my birthday next week but I wasn't going to break it, I will make the most of that determination. I said that my kids - well everyone really, knows better than to buy me chocs and that we have no plans for a get together or anything so it's just not an issue.
Well - you'd think I'd committed a crime. Apparently MY birthday is supposed to be about pleasing other people and allowing them to share a cake or something with me ..... obviously this wasn't said in SO many words but they kept saying - 'it's about sharing'. I said I can share my birthday without it having to be about food. If they want it to be about food I can cut a cake up and give everyone a piece - I don't have to have any. But that's not sharing apparently. I felt awful - I really didn't think they - and when I say they - one of them is a friend of mine that I've known for YEARS and I really didn't expect her to be so disapproving. The tutor (who is also a friend now but I've only known her for a year) I could understand a bit more coz maybe I was spoiling her plans. The old friend isn't going to be there as she'll be on holiday.
'Well anyway' .. I ended up saying, 'Jonnie & the boys are away, I'll be lucky if Jeff remembers & if he does it'll be a quick visit and Jenna's not interested in food, she eats to live' (yes I KNOW - no daughter of MINE! ) and that was the end of the conversation.
I'm really sorry I mentioned it ..... I'm 3 years off 60 for God's sake I shouldn't have to justify ANYTHING I do to ANYBODY!!! (well other than the obvious family of course!)

PHEW .... rant over sorry for the long post xx

 

[JanD]

It's okay Tan ... Just except for my back - it's bad at the mo. I haven't had a bad back for YEARS, I'm convinced it's got something to do with the weight as well. Sitting for long periods doesn't help and it's even my job title 'night sitter' so unavoidable really tho I WILL be moving around more than usual while it's like this! xx

 

[summergurl]

Oh no!! What's wrong with your back? Is it a condition that you've had before then?xx

 

[JanD]

LOL - I think we must have posted at the same time earlier - the back's been the least of my worries today.

My back ALWAYS used to be bad - I called it an occupational hazzard as a lot of nurses suffer with back problems. However since I've been wearing fitflops all the time I haven't had one - I noticed for a couple of years that my 'back' disappeared in the summer and came back in the winter and finally realised it was the footwear, so now I have fitflops for all weathers. So I don't really know what's going on - it started in Malta, I wondered if it was the softer bed but it's just got worse. I DO wonder if it's weight related and maybe some of the improvement I thought was all fitflops might have been down to me losing all that blubber too xx

 

[irish molly]

I hope your back eases up soon. I get your point about people's reaction to your not wanting cake etc. others will think you are feeling "deprived" if you don't indulge. I get that a lot since embracing GL. I am constantly offered cakes, biscuits etc and can easily refuse them as I no longer crave them. Yet people will still say " oh but don't you miss it" or " a little slice won't hurt". Sometimes it irks me but mostly I just say I've just eaten etc or take a tiny piece and leave most of it on the plate. I've often also brought a fruit platter and I've had something off that.
This incident has annoyed you as you feel these people know you well and should understand that you periodically have to diet to get back to your ideal weight. You may also feel a little sensitive as you're perhaps annoyed with yourself for having to TFR again.
Try not to let it upset you and get on with your diet plan and soon you'll be at goal.

 

[MiniB]

That's a real shame what happened at Art. Why are so many people like that? You're right Jan, you don't have to justify yourself to anybody and shouldn't feel that you have to! I hate it when people think they have a right to tell you how to live when their lives are nowhere near perfect and even if they were, they still shouldn't tell you what you're doing is wrong.

Hope your back gets better soon, nothing worse.

 

[JanD]

Where the pain was HAS eased quite a bit today thankfully but I now also have a pain under my left shoulder blade. It's probably wind but it's creasing me! LOL! If I was a horse they'd shoot me

Still plodding along x

 

[summergurl]

:giggle: its creasing you?! as in your laughing about it?!!! and wind in your shoulder blade?!! i'm lost tonight!! :giggle: xx

 

[JanD]

LOL!! Obviously regional variations in meaning there - creasing me means killing me & you can get wind pain anywhere. I often get it in my back/shoulders, tho it doesn't usually last this long.

I remember asking my friend in Yorkshire when I was there last year if I could give John a quick tinkle (on the phone) they thought that was hysterical as to them it means a wee ... to be fair I have been known to use it to mean that too but they'd never heard it in terms of ringing someone xx

 

[irish molly]

Jan, I hope you are doing well. What day have you set for your week one weigh in? Good luck for it. I'm sure you'll get a great result.

 

[JanD]

Thanks Molly - still plodding along I thought I might weigh today but I decided against it as I thought, if I did, I might be tempted to have a voddie or two in the pub later. I'll weigh tomorrow then I'm back to mondays so it'll be a 10 day initial wi.

I've decided for my birthday on tuesday I'm going to have an evening meal of chicken, spinach & broccoli and a couple of voddies then straight back to it on wednesday - no matter WHAT happens at art!! xx

 

[JanD]

Lost 6.6lbs. I know, I know, I should be pleased - it's in the right direction, a good start, yadder yadder yadder ... but I think it's a bit naff for 10 days 100% TFR .... but there we are.... it is what it is. xx

 

[irish molly]

I know you'd prefer a better result. It is a good result. At the end of the day we don't put on weight overnight and can't really expect miracles losing it. You're doing great, just hang in there. The results will come.

 

[MiniB]

Well done on the loss Jan, it's great! I know you always say you lose slower than anybody else but you really don't have much to lose altogether anyway. That's a brilliant start, just keep going and you will lose all you want to. Stay strong!!

 

[summergurl]

Fab loss Jan hope u had a lovely birthday and enjoyed your day xx

 

[JanD]

Thanks folks

I had a lovely day thanks Tan

When I think about it logically - as I think I've mentioned before - this damage I'm now trying to ... no not TRYING to ... AM now sorting out, has been accumulating since last September. It just finally completely got the better of me!!
I've 11.2lbs to go to get back to my original LT target and a further 6 to get back to where I was when I went away last September - and I just remember I felt GOOD then! So 19lbs ... for me that's probably a good 9 weeks TFR .... which isn't going to happen, but I'll do what I can and do my best not to undo too much of the work when I go away with Mum.

I had Chicken done in the slow-cooker, spinach and broccoli for tea last night and a few voddies (only coz it was my birthday). I did have a little bit of left over chicken this evening but not much.
Saturday I'm going to a wedding. I've volunteered to drive to save us all taxi fares so I won't drink. I may just have 1 with the meal - of which I'll only eat the protein and any green veggies & I won't have anything of the evening food unless there's something simple like chicken legs or whatever. xx

 

[JanD]

Oh yeah ... I've got my 3rd anniversary weigh in next friday (15th). As I've said - if I don't get under 11st by then I'll remove my maintainer badge until I'm back to 10st7lbs!! x

 

[Foo Fan]

Happy belated birthday Jan - hope you had a lovely day! Well done on your loss - what shakes are you doing?

 

[summergurl]

19lbs .. we're pretty much the same then Jan, partners in weight loss crime! :giggle: