jet's take on a diary !!!

[LVLLM]

Do you see him evey night ? Why not have a couple of days apart and have a good think. how long have you been together? and are you shouting at him? or is he just being a man?

 

[jet1968]

thoughts on myself at the mo ........ i just feel fat,ugly and im a useless person ,i run around trying to make him happy coz i want to to not coz i have to and this is wot i get but he says he appreciate's everything i do ,but does he really !!!!!!!

 

[jet1968]

he stops at my house 24/7 and im happy for him to be here and i thougt he was ,he was up at 4 yesterday he had work ,so maybe he was tired ,i hate being on my own ,i dont think i shout ,personally i think he was so shocked when he wife walked out ,he aint going to be put down by any woman and this is wot ive got to put up with to keep him mmmmmm i dont think so !!!

been together nearly 1 year and nothing like this ,we have had little rows ,normal rows but nothing like this !!!

 

[LVLLM]

OMG Jet, you are not fat - look how well you have done and those pics of you ! you are stunning and you are not useless!
why not run around after YOURSELF for a while, treat youself and let him do his own thing. you are not there to be his slave.
YOU are the most important thing here so take some time out and look after yourself.

 

[LVLLM]

and no you dont have to put up with anything to keep him. thats just wrong. you need to sit him down and tell him. does he have his own place so can give you space for a couple of days?

 

[jet1968]

yes he does but its me ,i hate being on my own !!!!!!!

 

[scrumper]

ok hunny i may not be popular here but here goes.....Any man who wont appologise for hurting aomeone they "love" whether provoked or not is not worth your time ...At the moment i would say your self esteme is at a very low point ...i wonder if you were not feeling down you would think differently ....his wife doing whatever is also no excuse to treat you badly .....
I know you dont want to be on our own hun , but at this time it may be a good idea you need to get your head straight and clear your mind ....if your scared of him now then thats no basis to stay with him at the moment ,,,being on your own is scary but it also gives you time to think ...your mums about and Jordan ...
Please dont stay with someone who may start to think they can treat you badly because they have got away with it ...that can lead to all sorts of problems ...even if you tell him you need a coupld of weeks to think if he wont give you the time , then that speaks volumes ...
Is there anyone near you that you can talk to do you get counciling(sp) I think you really need to talk at the moment to work through whats going on ....massive hugs hun xxxx

 

[jet1968]

i know wot ur saying ,and it's right wot u are saying ,i will let u know wot i decide !!!!

 

[LVLLM]

Great post Scrumper.
Jet please dont worry about being on your own. Sometimes we all need a little time out.

 

[Maintainer]

Just catching up - and very shocked to read about what happened Jet. I too feel that any man who can do something like this once, could do it again... he needs to take responsibility for his actions. You cannot in any way be responsible for what happened.

I wanted to talk to you about Dan. And Christmas. I'm sure Dad loved Christmas, yes? Are there family traditions? Things you've always done for the boys? Things that will be HARD for you to keep doing, without Dan there?

I hope I'm not speaking out of turn but I adore Christmas. Christmas for me is my Mum... and everything she did to make that time of year so very special for me as a child, teenager and later adult. The year she died, one month before Christmas, I "passed on Christmas", stayed here, and didn't mark it. But, since then, on the contrary - I have sought to replicate all the Christmas traditions, recipes, decorations, etc etc that SHE taught me. Things that, as a family, we all shared... (we even kept the "stocking" tradition going for YEARS in our house, even though we're all adult, and no one has kids!).

So yes, while I know that Christmas will be a very sad time for you - not least because Dan was with you last Christmas, albeit it seriously ill - I do like to think that Mum sees what I go out of my way to produce each year... whether dieting or not. Christmas to me is sacred... and I will make her recipes year in year out and EAT THEM!

For your break this weekend - it sounds as if you really needed it. How are you getting on though this weekend with a restart?

x

 

[jet1968]

i know wot u are saying jo and i think we are both thatt stressed it just got out of hand !!!

i think with it coming up to xmas im stressed being bak at work and trying to cope with jord ,we are going to talk about it when he get's home and talk rationally not rant and rave !!

this xmas will be different without dan so we have decided to have a relaxing one eat out which we dont normally do but i dont want to cook i just want to cillaxe and channel all my thoughts on jord and dan !!

thanks all ladies ive taken on board wot u all have said and i can honestly say if this happens again that will finish us ,my saying is we all need a second chance and that will be all he get's

 

[Maintainer]

Tell you what Jet... if it happens again WE'LL come and sort him out...!

 

[LVLLM]

Yes we will Jo.
Jo your post was lovely about xmas etc.
xxx

 

[jet1968]

yes jo ur post was ,im sorry im not thinking quite straight !!!!!!!!! its nice u do all the little quirks that are just like ur mum's !!!!!!!!!!!

 

[LVLLM]

I hope you get yourself sorted out hon x

 

[jet1968]

he's not home yet but time will tell !!!!!!!!

 

[LVLLM]

what time does he finish and why are you off today?

 

[Bubblemum]

I think you are right to go out for Christmas dinner Jet. I know a lady whos son died just after his fifteenth birthday if cancer he had been at home ill for many months. She didnt want to cook dinner for the family as she always did because it didnt feel right as CJ wasnt there, He had died in the February , so she decided they would eat out as it was something they hadnt ever done before, just to break away from the tradition.

I hop e that man comes home and does some serious grovelling xx

 

[jet1968]

what time does he finish and why are you off today?

he got up at 12ish and had a boiler appointment at his house so he is still there not sure wot time he will get bak ,im of coz my face was so puffed up with crying !!!!!!

 

[jet1968]

I think you are right to go out for Christmas dinner Jet. I know a lady whos son died just after his fifteenth birthday if cancer he had been at home ill for many months. She didnt want to cook dinner for the family as she always did because it didnt feel right as CJ wasnt there, He had died in the February , so she decided they would eat out as it was something they hadnt ever done before, just to break away from the tradition.

I hop e that man comes home and does some serious grovelling xx

thanks cathy ,he has txted and he says he his still shook up with wot went on any way we have never gone out for dinner before so thats wot we are going to do !!!