Jo's beautiful bridesmaid dress diary

[JoRoger]

Thanks for that Val, am trying to keep looking on the bright side with it but as you say it is easier said than done, I am sure deep down that it will be ok, but we have lived and breathed this horrible messy divorce for the last two years, and its just a nightmare. Am determined to be better tomorrow, coming back to minimins has been a great help as it really takes my mind off things, its not just about weight loss its talking to people who are in exactly the same boat as you. I've also read yet another self help weight loss book (How to Lose Weight without Dieting) which is full of basically the same kind of reworking-your-mind stuff as all the other ones I've read, hopefully if I read enough of the same kind of thing it will eventually go in.

Went to the gym earlier and really pushed myself, was glad I went, then went to Tesco's afterwards with the friend that gives me a lift, as she needed to go, she filled her trolley with so much rubbishy food I was amazed! Wasn't tempted to buy anything like that at all, didn't even cross my mind, so was pleased with myself there. It is good to try to focus on the little things, like change of habits and temptations, even when you are not being perfect with your diet - I think it means that some new chains of thoughts and choices are breaking their way into your subconscious somewhere along the line.

All in all, very mixed day yet again, but with a few small victories and bits of positiveness along the way, better day tomorrow I hope.

 

[JoRoger]

Feeling bit brighter today, day has started off well food-wise, porridge for breakfast, off to gym in a bit then going to Sainsbury's have done my food menu and list, should hopefully be a good week ahead. Decided I need to adopt my previous stance of trying nt to think about the court case by really throwing myself into my diet and fitness again - this went wrong about 10 days ago when the stress just got far too much but I think I'm beating it again...well I certainly won't let it beat me!

Hope the weekend is going well for everyone else x

 

[JoRoger]

Things going good today, had reasonable day yesterday, am having a 'doing' day today, lots of housework and so on this morning then town (in the rain, eeek!) later then off to gym. May well have to skip town if the weather goes on like this tho - can't tell you enough how I totally detest the rain.

Still reading my books and making notes, finding it very invaluable at getting the messages through at last.

 

[JoRoger]

Forgot to mention that I am cooking SW spaghetti carbonara tonight, never done that one before so looking forward to the challenge, have got a later gym slot so will get cracking on that as soon as I get home. Not the most confident cook in the world but I do enjoy it as long as I am well-prepared and have enough time, and I usually enjoy the results. Both OH and DS will eat just about anything I put in front of them so I'm lucky there, they've really loved all the SW recipes I have tried so far, I only do two a week then we'll either having something simple the other days or my OH will cook as he enjoys it too. Never ever thought I would be able to cook and actually enjoy it, and manage not to poison everyone! But for me it helps me to feel more in control of my eating and my planning if I have prepared it myself, and also funnily enough if I'm cooking it seems to be the one time where I'm not thinking about food or picking at food.

Looks like things are on the way up again (or down, weight wise hopefully!) very much looking forward to the gym later.

 

[valerie11]

hi joroger glad u r in the right mindset at the moment hopefully u will have a good weight loss to reward u, i only lost 1/2lb this week (i weigh on a monday) but know i had not been 100% so all my fault going to try really hard this week am aiming for a 3lb weight loss which i know is do able. good luck to u

 

[vixmania41999]

Hey hun, how did the carbonara go? I've been wanting to try it but a bit dubious! Hope you're doing ok. You're sounding positive. xxx

 

[JoRoger]

hi joroger glad u r in the right mindset at the moment hopefully u will have a good weight loss to reward u, i only lost 1/2lb this week (i weigh on a monday) but know i had not been 100% so all my fault going to try really hard this week am aiming for a 3lb weight loss which i know is do able. good luck to u

Thanks Val, am hoping for a good result this week too, but even if I don't get a good scale result I know that I have a good result with the way that I feel, it has taken a while to get back on top of things, usually if I'm off-plan I can get back on it within about 4 days but this time it has taken a bit longer, never mind tho as I have learned it is not failing that is the problem it is how long it takes you to recover from it. Really committing to my gym plan is helping as well, I'm currently doing three days a week but ideally would like to up it to four - its gymophobics where you can only go two days in a row, not every night, and with not having transport either it can make it hard but with getting a lift from my lovely friend who takes me at the same time as she goes, I can maintain three days a week. According to my log-in sheet I've been 14 times now since I joined at the beginning of Oct, and I can really feel and see the difference, even though the weight loss is only around 3lbs, the difference in my shape is untrue. Well worth the money and effort.

Today has started off well, good breakfast, DS is off at playschool this morning so I have until 12 to do whatever I please!

Hope you get the loss you want this week, 1/2 a pound is still good tho.

 

[JoRoger]

Hey hun, how did the carbonara go? I've been wanting to try it but a bit dubious! Hope you're doing ok. You're sounding positive. xxx

Hey Vix, well even tho I do say so myself the carbonara was bloody lovely!! Is so easy to make as long as you get all the ingredients and egg mix all ready to go before you put the spaghetti on, as it is quite a quickly cooked meal so its all about getting the timing right. It really did taste yummy tho, clean plates all round, definitely on the 'again' list.

My only tips would be to use linguine instead of spaghetti, if you prefer it like I do, add loads more chives than the recipe says (and definitely don't leave them out as it would be quite bland without them - you can freeze the rest of the packet) and to add some garlic in there somewhere too. Really yummy can't praise it enough.

Yep am feeling pretty positive, still anxious about lots of things but focusing on SW is helping to take my mind off of it all x

 

[JoRoger]

Another good day, realise I probably need to record here what I'm eating, I shall do so from tomorrow, I know I've definitely stayed within syns today as have three square meals all low syn and no snacks, but I'm not 100% on the actual syn values, here goes with today tho:-

GREEN DAY

Breakfast: I had it continental style as we'd ran out of milk

Green tea
Wholemeal Harvest Roll (HEXB)
Marge (HEXA)
Ham Slice (2?)

Lunch:

Pasta & Sauce Cheese, Leek and Ham (2 1/2 syns with milk as HEXB)
1/2 of daily low fat cheese cube (pre-weighed) HEXA

Snacks: Raisins (free?) Red Grapes (free)

Dinner:

Jacket Potato (Free)
Heinz Mexican Beans 1/2 tin (2?)
Rest of cheese cube grated on top (rest of HEXA)

Around five cups of green tea in all throughout the day and three pints of sugar-free squash.

Just realised that it doesn't really look as if I've eaten much today but I was doing PTA work all morning with a friend, seemingly endless cups of green tea which keeps the worms at bay, plus I turned down a square of Dairy Milk and a Penguin, had a big lunch then afternoon snacks with tea and squash, then a big tea - jacket potato was from a farmers market and absolutely huge!

Also spent the rest of the afternoon keeping my hands busy either on here, facebook, or filling in my personal notebook with notes from my latest weight loss book - 'The Thin Commandments' by Dr. Stephen Gullo, who is a leading weight loss therapist based in New York, full of his teachings and client's stories.

Oh, and today spoke with a friend of mine who is doing nutrition studies plus a diet of her own, and we're going to set up a self-help weight loss book reading group between us, which will be nice, meeting up once a fortnight to swap ideas and tips and recipes etc.

Positive day, one week til Court, had my eyebrows waxed especially, ouch!

 

[JoRoger]

Good start to the day, this morning OH was really lovely to me and said that he got up in the night to go to the loo, came back to bed and gave me a cuddle and said for a second in his half-asleep state he thought he was dreaming and that I was another woman as I my body felt so different!:happy036::bliss:

So that has put a smile on my face for most of the morning!

Eating so far:
Started the morning with a nice hot cup of green tea with lemon while I read a few pages of my weight loss book, just to get those important messages in my brain first thing. Then:

Breakfast

Oats so Simple Porridge (HEXB)
with semi-skimmed milk (HEXA)

Mid-Morning: 2 Ryvitas with Sweet Onion (HEXB - one left over if needed later!)
28g Philadelphia ------ 2 syns

Banana FREE
Raisins 4 syns

Bit shocked to discover the syns in raisins, oops! Guess it is because they are sugary but I'd rather have my syns in those than a bag of crisps or treat-size chocolate bar, as I don't want to get the taste for those back.

I have had quite a lot to eat this morning actually, probably because this is the first 'quiet' morning I've had to myself all week, so am determined to enjoy it! Will come off here in a bit and do a quick once-round of my lounge and bathroom, then pop over to the visiting library bus, pick my DS up from playschool, home for lunch, OH home for lunch with us too which is lovely, then my grandad is coming round for a cup of tea at two, which I'm very much looking forward to.

Good day so far just wish I had slotted a wii fit session in there, but as I said this is my first quiet morning to myself all week, and just want to chill out for a bit and collect my thoughts. Am on the SW site for some recipe inspiration for next week, food shopping later. Going to try for a few red days this week as I do tend to rely on green and carbs esp pasta a bit too much. Need to get the bloat down for Court! Trying to be positive about it now and praying that this time next week I will finally be able say 'we are free'!

Also had a bit of a shock on the SW site - the Tesco Light Choices Tikka Masala sauce we tucked into on Monday night comes up as 20 syns! Eek!! We had the jar between us! Definitely inadvertently went over my syns rather largely there, but it was so yummy! Next time we will share it further with our DS and I will work out the best way to work it in syn-wise, as it was very scrummy. Perhaps we could substitute the chicken for Quorn to make it a full green day. Thinking cap needed!

Hope everyone else is having a good day x

 

[valerie11]

hi joroger glad u r feeling a lot better ur a lot more positive at the moment good luck next week. i used a 750g jar of dolmio sauce and was surprised at the syns its mainly tomatoes but was 19 syns i am feeling really good this week mainly because i have rigidly stuck to plan but even if i only lose 1/2 thats my first stone off if i lose more its a bonus. have a good day love val x

 

[JoRoger]

hi joroger glad u r feeling a lot better ur a lot more positive at the moment good luck next week. i used a 750g jar of dolmio sauce and was surprised at the syns its mainly tomatoes but was 19 syns i am feeling really good this week mainly because i have rigidly stuck to plan but even if i only lose 1/2 thats my first stone off if i lose more its a bonus. have a good day love val x

Well done you, you really deserve a good weight loss this week.

 

[JoRoger]

Have had a good weekend though not been overly good food wise, back to basics again tomorrow. Been a real struggle not to think too much and stress about Thursday, am just SO scared! Ended up having row with OH about it; really don't know how I've managed to get this far without having a nervous breakdown!

Had a nice evening last night with my best friend, making wedding invites for her wedding next year, where I'm being a bridesmaid. She was really impressed with how well my arms are getting toned from Gymophobics. She made us a mexican dinner, fajitas and the works, eek totally dread to think how many syns that was, but I really needed a night of total fun and relaxation. I was hugely tested by her homemade Maltesers cheesecake tho! Had the smallest of slivers and god was it gorgeous! What is disgusting tho is that my best friend is 5ft 9 and a size 10!! Its just SO not fair, she eats like a horse and makes the yummiest dinners and deserts.

I did do a gym session today and 40 mins on the wii fit so I've been going activity wise, also did a real deep clean and cupboard re-organisation in the kitchen. Determined to keep myself busy and on track this week, and very active, my house will sparkle, got to keep my mind occupied, but my god if we win - WHEN WE WIN!!! - on Thursday we will be going out for the bestest slap up meal ever, two years of hell over and done with at last. Fingers crossed.

Here's to a good week for us all x

 

[JoRoger]

Nooo! Have woken up with a cold this morning :-( not impressed! Got to take my DS to the doctors yet again as he still has a cough, he was up in the night barking away with it, though he was happy to go back to sleep with his night light on. I've just got that constant tickle in my nose, not nice!

 

[JoRoger]

Such an up and down day today but am pleased with myself that I have stuck 100% to plan. DS has croup from the virus that he's had for three weeks, OH's ex is trying to cause so many problems ahead of the court case (despite a threatening letter from HER solicitors saying we are not to communicate with her in any way!)

All this could have had me heading for the fridge but aside from having quite an anxious tummy anyway and not overly wanting to eat, I'm not letting her get to me and certainly not going to let her sabotage my healthy eating! There will only be one fat person in that court room and it won't be me!!!

Seriously tho I think this is shaping up to be one of the toughest weeks ever, BUT I will never surrender!

 

[Jane R]

Hi JoRoger. I am sending positive thoughts towards you and hope that you both feel better soon.X

 

[JoRoger]

Hi JoRoger. I am sending positive thoughts towards you and hope that you both feel better soon.X

Thank you! Really needing some positive thoughts and luck, its all in the hands of the solicitors so I just have to pray that the Judge either agrees to sign everything off early and that we don't have to go, OR that he signs everything off on Thursday. Am trying to keep my thoughts in order and not lose the plot entirely.

Would quite like to go to sleep and wake up to find its Friday and I've slept thru the whole thing!

 

[vixmania41999]

Good luck for thursday hun. I'm sure it will all be fine and it will be over. Well done on staying in control too. Keep up the good work xxx

 

[JoRoger]

Good luck for thursday hun. I'm sure it will all be fine and it will be over. Well done on staying in control too. Keep up the good work xxx

Thanks Vixmania, am trying to stay in control, food-wise it has not been too bad, as I really don't have much of an appetite at the moment, yesterday I was 100%, but am not too sure about today as we are having a family meal tonight with OH's family so I won't be in control of what is being served, but really its the least of my worries at the moment, I can always subtly put things on my OH's plate if it is too much! And I know I'll definitely not feel like eating much tomorrow, in fact I plan to spend the majority of it in bed although I have got a friend coming round in the morning, who is very interested in healthy eating and nutrition, she's going to show me all the work she has done so far for her nutritionist training, which will be interesting and take my mind off of things.

I'm also having my hair cut in the afternoon as I had to postpone it from this morning as DS was really bad with his croup overnight. Hmm so maybe I'll just have to go to bed stupidly early tomorrow night to avoid thinking about things too much!

Am getting really nervous and anxious as the day gets closer but also I know how relieved I will feel afterwards, and hope beyond anything that I can finally say its all over.

Thanks for your help everyone!

 

[valerie11]

good luck for thursday it will soon be over which will be a relief for u then hopefully u can get on with ur lives :wave_cry: