Julz journey to a thinner me!

LadyT, the meals in the books looked easy to do, and lots of choices, portion control easily identified as well, so maybe worth checking with your LLC at WI.
I know this is going to be a long journey and looking at the books didn't make me hungry or want the food, more future planning.
Reading other diaries, it looks daunting to move back to food without the stress.

Jx
 
Wow,
just checked your stats.
Doing very well indeed hun! :)
 
Julz,
You're doing great, it sounds like lighter life is working for you:)
Keep up the great job and thank you for your comment on my diary;)

xx
 
Day 49
Well, I did not think I would manage to get to 7 weeks, it seemed such a long way away when I started this journey.
The last couple of weeks have been challenging on so many levels, just had my daughter sobbing on the phone, she goes back to work tomorrow after her maternity leave. She's really stressing as her role has been Tupe'd over to a new company who have been really awful about keeping in touch. She has no job to go back to, so she has to apply online to any vacancy she sees when she starts tomorrow. What a sad state of affairs, nobody talked to her, her previous employer allegedly over paid her holiday by £1000 when the Tupe happened, during her maternity pay. The new employer is taking it back at £333 per month for 3 months, which is no fun when you have childcare to sort out for 2 children, train fares etc.
She can't get her payslip as they only do them online, and she can't get online till tomorrow, GRRRRRRRRRRRRHHHHHHHHHhh

Me
I have not had much chance to post my diary, so decided to restart.
Bit disappointed with only losing 2lbs last week, I know a loss is a loss, but really had hoped for more. Spoke to LLC she suggested it could be TOTM, not sure as I don't have periods any more. I have started to write down when I am having packs and how much water, looks like it averages at 4 litres per day.
Also told her I have increased my exercise a bit, swimming, so she said that is another reason I may not be losing so fast. Catch 22, reading other threads about the concerns of excess skin, I'm trying to start the exercise now. Have not cheated once.

I have gone back to water flavourings as I struggle to drink water. No bloating this time but gassy and noisy.
Yes the poo talk carries on here, I seem to go about every 6 days, have used dulcoease, which works but then continues on most of the day :cry: Feel like I need to go every other day........

Head is still swimmy and felt quite yuk for most of the day today, still taking the anti wobble tablets. Going to ring GP Friday if no better, that will make it best part of 6 weeks. Tinnitus is worse at the moment and driving me mad:mad:
Also this is stopping me exercise, I bought a Wii 2 weeks ago and have not managed to use it yet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Have finally got a ketosis reading on my sticks, pink, maybe this week I will lose more?

Well, day 50 tomorrow, halfway to my first target of 100 days!

Went through my wardrobe today and have sorted a massive bag out for the charity shop, all too big! Felt really good. I now can get into 5 pairs of work trousers, I have been living and washing 1 pair for ages. Seem to be losing weight at the top of my legs, so jeans etc are looking odd, not sure what shape I will end up being? Went into River Island today and Monsoon and saw some lovely clothes I hope to get into later this year, can't wait.
Seem to be losing some of my boobs too which is great so long as I end up in proportion, start size 36JJ which is massive, hope they stop shrinking at about a C cup!

Last weekend was quite a challenge around food with daughter and grand daughters here, this is first time since starting LL that I have had food in the house and preparing it. Boy do I take my hat off to everyone that has to prep food and not eat it, it was hard, and found myself dreaming about food!!!!!!!!:sigh:

They have gone now, next challenge grand daughters birthday coming up in 2 weeks, party food around all day.

Have started reading The Beck Diet Solution, which makes sense, so hope to learn lots from there.

Well enough waffleing on, time for bed.

Hope everyone has a good WI, will check out your diaries tomorrow,
Jx
 
Lovely to hear from you Julz. Medication can really slow the weight loss down so keep at it. You are doing really well feeling so poorly as well.

Well done for resisiting the food, not easy when it is so available.

I am resigned to a bit of excess skin, being a very large lass over 40 I guess it's kind of the way it goes. I am ok with that though. Loose skin wont make my knees ache lol

Keep on trucking honey xx
 
Thanks Clara, felt like I was having a bit of a rant!

Day 51
Worked from home today, and it was really good, went to a leaving drinks session with a couple of friends who work for one of our clients. It will be odd without them working there, had sparkling mineral water as I am on 'antibiotics!'

Did have to stretch my meals out today which wasn't so great. Water intake ok.

Still have my wobbly head, but not all day so definitely on the mend.:)

Quite cold a lot of the time, having hot bath every night and still been putting electric blanket on, to take the chill off. Cold feet and hands. Still very tired all the time. :sigh:

Have been recording water and food pack times to go through with LLC on Sunday, am hoping for a bigger loss this week.

Had a really challenging day yesterday at work, system failures, so stress levels through the roof. Scrummy food around most of the day, went into Asda to get some water and loo! walked past cafe, smelt lovely, strangely............. the meat smelt lovely, and I'm vegetarian!!!!!!!!!!!!!:confused: What's going on????

Really pleased I now have 4 pairs of work trousers that fit :D

Off to have a look at some other diaries, then bed.
 
Well done to getting through a challenging day without food. I have discovered I deal with things less well when I eat through the stress than when I don't and deal with it instead. I think the food choices I was making were making me feel worse not better! Mad ! Lessons to be learnt I think.

You are doing really well with being off colour and coping with plan. Impressive. Keep at it and to hell with wobbly bits lol x

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Thanks Clara, it's been a bit of a strange time, with my wobbly bits! I was a stress/boredom/lonely eater before this program, still quite surprised I have stayed with it so long. Now I can't believe I did not do this sooner, but I'm glad I finally found it. My food choices before were quite appalling at times, and often found myself eating, almost to spite myself? Which is a bizarre thing to say and do, but the way I felt at the time, it was a spiral effect, downwards, then the recrimination to myself afterwards, trying to convince myself that it didn't matter, I wasn't worth it, when in reality it did matter a great deal.

At times my self esteem and self loathing were very deep, which I still haven't got to the bottom of, but I am dealing with things (life) in different ways and believing in myself is one way.
Food choices for the future are on my mind quite a lot of the time, trying to find a strategy for coping and helping my brain make the right choices.

Day 53 Sunday

I'm really pleased with my 4lbs loss this week, making a grand total of 2 st to date! It's been a bit of a strange week this week, still have my wobbly head, not bad just disorganised with work. For the last 2 weeks my hips have been sore, on the outside, so I have not been able to lie on them in bed, which is not much fun. Waking in the morning then my head starts again, oh woe is me!

Friday
Great day, worked from home, had a chiropractor appointment at lunchtime, he had a look at my hips and said it is the sac that is over the joints that is inflamed, usually from a trauma, I have had no knocks or anything so not sure where it has come from? :confused: He suggested ice, which is my least favourite treatment, as I am so cold all the time, will do it anyway.

I had booked myself in for a Hot stones back massage, which was on special offer, and it was lovely. Me time!

Later went to the pub in the afternoon for a leaving do, ended up staying 4 hours, resisted the scruumy chips they ordered! and the wine etc, stayed with sparkling mineral water, so was really pleased with myself. :D :patback:

I'm usually such a private person, I am surprising myself that I am putting this all down, and also, being pleased with myself? Pat on the back? CBT must be influencing my brain! Also, the fact that its in cyberspace helps!

Saturday
Went to see my friend in Salisbury hospital who was involved in a head on collision at Christmas, his neck was broken and he is paralysed, now in a wheelchair for the rest of his life. He is so positive and has been working so hard, they think he may come home by July, which is brilliant news as they thought he would not make it. The other driver has admitted liability so that's a good thing. His wife, daughter and grandchildren who were in the car at the time are pretty much healed so all is looking up. Which is fab news.

Sunday
Went to the hydro pool this morning and had a really relaxing time, spent 20 minutes in the jacuzzi to start, really really warm and was fab. Only did 30 lengths afterwards which is a lot less than planned. LLC suggested my slow weight loss could be due to my exercising.

Been really quite chipper today, still getting sudden down moments, for no reason at all.:confused::confused:

Good luck to everyone for WI this week.
Jx
 
Hi Julz,
Well done you. You've got great losses and shown really strong will power in some tough foody situations and stressful times too - well done.
Lots of the things you've said just confirm that the triggers and reasons we have had in the past for giving in to the comfort of food are all in our heads - that's how we come to realise that the power to crack this is also in our heads.
great news about having the choice of work trousers that fit too.
Sounds like you are now watching the new you emerging.
I used to have huge boobs too, I'd got used to them over the years, but have to say I prefer the smaller ones now. They may be wobbly, but they are fine in pretty lingerie.
Also positive news that your friend and his family are on the mend. Sometimes you wonder how people cope with what life throws at them, don't you? Then you realise life throws stuff at you too, just different stuff. We all have our challenges to face.
Keep up the good work Julz. xx
 
Thanks SB for your wise words as always, I really ought to need to be thankful for all I have.

I do feel like I am emerging into the new me, I cleared out my wardrobes over the weekend of clothes that were too big or hang awkwardly, 5 black sackfuls for the charity shop! Bizarrely, I am wearing some jeans that I have not been able to wear for a couple of years. Typically towards the end of the day, when I go to the loo, I tended to leave them unbuttoned for comfort, I found myself leaving them open tonight, when I don't need to as they are quite lose already.:confused: The mind truly is a powerful tool, that needs to be managed.

As far as my big boobs are concerned, it will be great for them to shrink and to be able to wear some pretty lingerie, rather than a hammock! I had a walk around Salisbury on Saturday in Debenhams and I went through the lingerie section, there really are some very pretty options for when I am smaller, can't wait.
Also went through some of the designer sections, really pretty, can't wait for that time either!:D

Day 54
Had a really chilled day today, and made the decision that I will start exercising again, so started back on my Lateral Thigh Trainer which I have not used properly since I had my knee replaced 18 months ago. Managed to get through the whole program, 20 minutes which I was very pleased about, and will do it again every other day. It may slow the weightloss down, but it feels wrong not to increase my exercise. Personal choices :confused:

Still very tired but clearly have more energy, wobbly head getting better each day, think I will still see the doctor this week as I have run out of the anti wobble tablets.

Upbeat mood all day, hooray! :cool:
 
Week 8 already!
Still trucking on, had a couple of really stressful days at work, not helped by several people bringing back smelly lunchtime food.
I have felt really hungry over the last couple of days, happy that I stayed on plan :) Just worked it out, :rolleyes: stress is one of my food triggers! Oh dear, only took 24 hours to work it out!

It is strange, but I guess it's crooked thinking, looking in the mirror on some days I think I look slimmer, and other days that I have not lost much at all :confused: I know it is 2 st and I am truly overjoyed at that as I have not managed to stick to any other diet for so long without breaking it and putting more back on, as others have shared on their diaries.

So, happy I have lost the weight, but can't always see it??:confused:

Have been drinking water ok, and sticking to 2 shakes, 1 bar and either chilli con carne or shepherds pie, for the last 3 days heartburn is back, very uncomfortable, drinking mint tea does not help it, not sure if I can take anything?

Feeling quite upbeat, however still a bit of a rollercoaster with my emotions, I can go from ok/happy to down in dumps, in the blink if an eye. No logical reason:confused:

My boss mentioned my weight loss yesterday, and how good I am looking. I had told her a few weeks ago that I am on a diary and wheat free eating plan, as I still don't feel I want to tell many people I am on LL, there are too many negatives people voice. It was lovely to hear the compliment, i just said Thank you!

I'm looking forward to going away for a couple of days Sun/Mon to the new forest with my son, his wife and daughter, it will be fun. They are there for the week, and will not be able to have a holiday this year, (money), so this break in my friends caravan is a blessing. Not really worried about not being 100%, as I am determined, so not sure why I am feeling 'down'?

Will be missing my next 2 classes and weigh ins as next weekend off to Essex to my granddaughter's 4th birthday weekend and party, should be fun! Again, don't feel like I will break the diet, but, not sure, something is bothering me.....................

Head still wobbly, tried to get a dr's appointment for tomorrow, no chance, next Wednesday! My hips are really sore too, have been for the last couple of weeks, trying to ignore it, have been using ice, but not much better. Feel like I am falling apart. Still not sleeping very well still.............. going to bed early tonight, just checked the time, not such an early night!

Been peeking around lots of diaries, lots of challenges going on!

Hope everyone has a good WI
Jx
 
Aww Jules you are going through the wars at the mo. Well done for keeping ur head above water and avoiding the food.

Some challenges ahead over the next few weeks to be sure. But also some lovely socialising as well.

Well done for spotting something is bothering you. Usually we would have tuned that discomfort out with food. Next challenge is to find out what it is lol

Be good to yourself and keep focused x

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Well done julz,
I wonder if you might be feeling a little anxious about the social occasions coming up. It's much easier for us to stay on track when we are at home in our own routine and without extra temptation.
I know people often mean well, but say things like
"I can't possibly eat while you are not having anything. I feel awful"
"Just one piece, bite, slice, etc etc. won't hurt."
"But it's her birthday, you must have a piece of cake"
"You can always start again tomorrow or next week."

If these are the things that are making you anxious my advice would be to mention it quietly to the main person you'll be with and ask them to help you by making sure it doesn't happen because you want to be with them and enjoy their company and the occasion, but if they feel uncomfortable because you won't be eating then they are the ones with the problem.
As always Julz, just a suggestion. Feel free to ignore me.
I hope you enjoy being with your family. xx
 
Good advice there SB x

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Aww Jules you are going through the wars at the mo. Well done for keeping ur head above water and avoiding the food.

Some challenges ahead over the next few weeks to be sure. But also some lovely socialising as well.

Well done for spotting something is bothering you. Usually we would have tuned that discomfort out with food. Next challenge is to find out what it is lol

Be good to yourself and keep focused x

Sent from my iPhone using MiniMins

Thanks Clara, yes I definitely would have turned to food, I'm happy I didn't, and I think I have worked it out! Will go into it later on my diary
 
Well done julz,
I wonder if you might be feeling a little anxious about the social occasions coming up. It's much easier for us to stay on track when we are at home in our own routine and without extra temptation.
I know people often mean well, but say things like
"I can't possibly eat while you are not having anything. I feel awful"
"Just one piece, bite, slice, etc etc. won't hurt."
"But it's her birthday, you must have a piece of cake"
"You can always start again tomorrow or next week."

If these are the things that are making you anxious my advice would be to mention it quietly to the main person you'll be with and ask them to help you by making sure it doesn't happen because you want to be with them and enjoy their company and the occasion, but if they feel uncomfortable because you won't be eating then they are the ones with the problem.
As always Julz, just a suggestion. Feel free to ignore me.
I hope you enjoy being with your family. xx

Thanks SB, bizarrely I have just had that sort of conversation with a friend I am going off on holiday with in Sept, I have told her I will do Lite if I am still on Total, so I can have one meal, but then its my choice!

I do think we put more pressure on ourselves than we really need to, I am anxious about lots of situations at the moment, and that is not my normal style. I am looking forward to this weekend and next, both my son and daughter are aware of LL, so will help me be discreet, your advise is spot on, again :D

It's funny, (not ha ha) how different thoughts get twisted, and assumptions made by others.:confused:
 
Hi Julz i havent been posting much for the last week so have just read about ur recently 4lbs loss.. well done x
 
Hi Julz

I am on day 3 (4 tomorrow - bars horray) so reading how far you have come is fab. I just can't picture myself being 8 weeks in, wow! Taking each day as it comes.

Good loses each week and now seeing you have lost 2st is amazing - well done

xx
 
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