Just split with my boyfriend of 4.5 years....

Riotgrrrrl said:
Thanks chick - hes known him since he was a toddler and thinks the world of him. Im lucky in the fact that we dont (and never have) lived together so its not an upheaval for my son in that respect. Ah.... Im sure it'll be ok *fingers crossed*
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Of course it will all be alright hun. I'm so sorry to hear that you've broken up with your boyfriend after so many years together - whoever had made the decision it never makes it easier for anyone involved.

All I can say is for you to keep coming on here to get support, encouragement and motivation and to keep yourself focused. You want to lose weight and so do it for yourself - try to keep it separate from how you're feeling at the moment - I know it won't be easy but I'm trying to help you hun.

Your little boy is very lucky to have a mummy who cares so much about him - so I'm sure he will know that he is loved and cared about. Will you still let your boyfriend see him? At least you didn't live together, it would have been much more of an upheaval for you all then (not much consolation I know)

Anyway, try to keep your spirits up (diet wise) and keep yourself occupied with your little boy. Sending you big hugs this afternoon and I hope you're ok XXXX
 
Maybe he will keep in touch with your son for a little while until he gets used to the idea? Perhaps send him a xmas card and little present, and a phone call some time to ask how he's doing at school. I am not of course suggesting they have regular access visits as if he was his father or anything.
 
oh no erika hun :-(((( im so so sorry.

you sound pretty upbeat just now but honestly, if you ever ever need anyone to talk to im here for you xxxxxx
 
Oh lordy :( i'm sorry hun! I do hope your alright and your son also meh if you have a wii go and do some boxing on there!! That always helps me out when i'm down :) well done for not turning to the food! Stronger than me! Chin up and stay strong hun xxx
 
All your replies are lovely and mean so much, thankyou :)

we've been talking today and hes totally gutted and wants to work things out but Ive held firm. I need to be on my own right now. He made it clear from the beginning he never wanted kids or marriage, which is fine by me, but Im in my 30's now and need to concentrate on me for a bit and work out what I want out of life.
My son loves him, but my ex has always been rather awkward around kids and he never really took much interest to be honest which upset me as my son thinks hes so great. basically my son HATES his dad so seems to get really close to any men I know (my brother, my mums boyfriend)

Ive told my ex I'll always care about him and be his friend, I think he just needs the space to get over it. Some of the texts hes sent me today have been heart wrenching :(

Anyhoo Ive not turned to food for comfort, in fact Ive only had 15 points and feel sick as a dog. If any good comes out of this, it'll be a good WI result on Monday.

I feel much better getting everything off my chest and again, thank you all so much for your kind words. Mini mates are the best! xx
 
(((Riotgrrrl)))

love, I'm so sorry to hear about this. It's heart wrenching especially when there's kinds involved... I know he's not the father, but your son loves him as if he was, so it's the same. Give yourself some time to get over it. I don't know what to suggest because I only had one boyfriend and I'm getting married to him next year, so I really don't know (and I hope I won't ever know) what it feels like. But I understand your point about marriage and kids, because even my DF wants to delay things, especially kids wise, and I'm in my mid thirties, so I often tell him I don't have much more time left, which is the truth, unless medicine finds a way around menopause... :(

*HUGS* chin up and take care!
 
((((Hugs)))). The Heartbreak Diet is no way to lose weight, but you sound like a very strong woman and you are doing what's best for you in the long run.
 
Hi sorry hun havent been on here so didnt know ((((hugs))))
I left my ex husband after 16 years together I meet him when I was just 17 and at 32 and his not stopping drinking I couldnt stay anymore and as you say its a decision you made but its real hard like an ache an empty feeling.I too lost 1/2 stone couldnt eat and I had 2 children with him then 2 and 7 and he put me through hell.
All you can do is grieve for the relationship and be as strong as you can,be there for your lil guy and eat when you can.
Maybe ask ex not to text as it will be harder and although this sounds bad try to have distance dont see him for a while as its easier.

As said Im hre if you need a chat and it does get easier.Just remember why you ended it when it gets really hard
As for yummy mummy you already are hun xxx
 
I only just found this post and had to write what an amazing woman you are. You are obviously a great mum, we can see from the way you are so concerned for your son while going through such a tough time yourself. Turning to food for comfort is what gets most of us in trouble, so well done on being strong, not a nice way to lose weight but the results are just as good.
Just after I joined ww I was dumped and heartbroken, but found food was the only thing I could control at that time so really focussed and stuck to points. Now I have been at goal for 6 months and am happier than I ever was with him. Life will be good again for you too hun, it might take time but you can do it. Hugs to you and your son.
 
Hope u are ok hun xx
 
Sorry to hear about your situation. If you need anyone to talk to your more than welcome to talk to me. May be a good moan and cry is what you need to help you with this difficult time. I don't know why you broke up but your a lovely lady and you deserve the best.

I hope you a your little boy will be ok.
xxx
 
I really am overwhelmed by all of your kind words, it means alot.

I went round his house this morning while he was at work, like we'd arranged, so I could drop his stuff off and leave his house key. He'd left me my key, two packs of peanut butter cups which are my favourite, and letter that made me cry.

I feel like a grade A cow to put him through all this pain. Its not even like he'd done anything wrong, he was always so kind and considerate, but it just wasn't working anymore you know?

Meh. I'll stay strong. And the food cupboard has remained shut. If anything Im undereating at 15 points a day, but even they were forced.

Ill stop moaning now. Thank you all so much for caring. Youre all the best xxx
 
When you say "not working any more", what do you mean by that? Is it the matter of him not wanting children whereas you'd like more, and not being properly involved with your son? Or is it that you no longer get wobbly knees and fluttery tummy when you see him, or what? I am just wondering if it's worth exploring whether anything can be negotiated to make a go of it?

I am sorry if you've posted other threads about some horrific problems with him that I haven't seen :)
 
You're not a grade A cow!! it would be even worse if you just carried on as if nothing was wrong and spent another couple of years together. You've done the right thing for you and your son. He'll get over you just like you will him it just takes time.:grouphugg:
 
lol no youve not missed anything. Youre right Im not feeling the tummy flips, or shmublibub as I call it. Being totally, completely honest, Ive felt like this FOR THE LAST YEAR Ive hung on and hung on hoping my feelings would change but they havent. Its not fair to keep hanging on to this realtionship when its not what I want. Im sure when he gets over this he'll find someone nearer his own age (he's 5 years younger than me), someone without a child who really REALLY loves him, and isnt slightly mental like me :p He deserves better than me he really does, someone who WANTS a relationship. mehhh :(
 
When it's gone it's gone you sound guilty you ended it but you shouldn't as it would be more wrong to stay with someone who you don't want to be with 100%.
He will eirther fight to get you back, stay alone for ages or find someone new to take his mind off it. 15 points isn't too bad like a fast start,I know it's hard for you as even though you ended it you can miss him, I was like that but distance made that go.
Hope you are ok xxxx
 
Thanks chick - I'll be ok. He keeps sending me messages saying after some space we can try again :( Its still raw and very early days for him - I just hope he gets over it sooner rather than later
 
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