Karens Diary - 1st weigh-in

[Karen]

Tail between my legs... I am back to Minis and have decided to give Exante a fair run. Im so fat and it is ruining my life. I dont get active with my kids, I have no energy and my husband is on the verge of leaving me as I wont sleep with him. A bit too honest maybe but I have to lay it all on the line now and get some real support.

I have tried everything at least twice and even have a band fitted. this is my 2nd attempt at Exante and I have to get some results. Its been a huge wake up call to know how serious my husband feels about the side effects of my weight and I fear it may be too late. Even if it is and I end up single, I dont want to be fat anymore. Im doing this for me but part of that is keeping my otherwise wonderful marriage. My husband has been patient enough. My kids have been patient enough. I have been a lazy lard ass!

My life is pretty stressful. Aside from being married with 3 kids, I am a full time uni student and a full time worker. I work in a childrens home and do 24/48 hour shifts for 10 days per month. I shouldnt have time to be eating the way I do!

I think the reason I am fat is because I was sexually abused as a child and later raped in my teens. I keep myself fat to protect myself and it is so deeply ingrained since childhood I am finding it almnost impossible to cope with. I have recently been diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety so am now medicated to the hilt. Its helping and now i feel more ready that ever to deal with all this weight.

so, after a light and breezy post thats me in a nutshell guys... all support hugely appreciated and I will give the same in return xxxxxx

 

[moomoo13]

Hi Karen, what an open, honest and frank post. A lot that I can relate to and parts that horrify me and my heart goes out to you. I am a first time mummy with a 6 month old, I was big before having him but since he arrived my whole body shape etc has changed and it has really got me down to the point where I feel I need to do something drastic as its starting to affect other parts of my life. Theres loads of support on here and if you ever need a chat or any encouragement then please feel free to message me. I've had a great start but realise that with the amount I need to lose its gonna take a while and I know I'll have days where I slip up but need to remember that doesnt mean I have to give up. Good luck with your journey and I hope that as the weight drops off you that your happiness and confidence starts coming back, you look beatiful in your picture and I'm sure your husband thinks the same xxx

 

[A1000]

Thank you for being so honest with everyone, as a returner to the site, youll know there are so many people on here to support you!

Even though I'm a guy, I can understand some of what you've said, I've been through the ringer myself a few times. If you want to talk, here for you

Alan

Xxx

 

[Karen]

Ahhh thank you guys xxx Hope I can be of support to you too. you both seem to be losing really well. well done xxx

 

[Sammi1982]

OMG! You are a real inspiration to others and to be so honest about your past must have been difficult!
I'm sorry you have experienced such terrible things but pleased for you that you feel you can talk about it!
I only joined Minis yesterday and I am so glad I did!
Take care and Good Luck with your Journey x x x

 

[oliverstjohn]

Hi Karen,
Just wanted to say Hi and wish you all the best- Take every ounce of support you can get. It's tough but this forum and medical support will make it easier.
Really rooting for you
O

 

[Sage-femme]

Hi Karen, welcome back to the wonderful world of dieting. I could have written so much of your post. I feel like I am losing my partner, I go to university and work shifts in a hospital. I was never abused as a child but had other stuff going on my brother killed himself, my mum became an alcoholic and then at 13 ended up in a scary violent relationship and was attacked in a club when I was 16 and decided not to take him to court as I felt I had deserved it as a teen I had problems with eating and hurting myself. you're not alone Hun, we're all here to help and support each other especially through the tough times that can happen through dieting. Sometimes I think the only healthy way for me to eat is when dieting other wise it's all (binging on junk) or nothing (not eating). So yeh, there we go. We're all in this together xxx

Sent from my iPhone using MiniMins

 

[niknooo]

that post was very emotional and as honest as can be , im sure you will do the best you can and see some results pretty soon i wish you good luck in your journey

 

[Karen]

Thank you all for the lovely and honest replies. Im feeling the love already haha. I hope I can be half as supportive of you guys as you have made me feel this morning. Im looking forward to my delivery in the morning!

 

[Karen]

Day 1!

Im sitting here eagerly awaiting my delivery and drinking black coffee. Im so excited to get started! I ordered the shake only pack (hate the bars and the tomato & basil concoction) and a box of porridge.

I expect it will take a few days to feel ok but my 2nd and 3rd day will be at work as Im doing a 48 hr shift from tomorrow morning. Im hoping being away from home will make it easier on me to stay out of the fridge and slip into the big K easier too. The fact that Im working means I wont be able to get back on here until day 4 though

 

[Karen]

Day 1

Vanilla Shake (made as a coffee)
Tesco meal replacement bar (Raspberry)
Porridge with cinnamon
3 litres of water
i can of Dr Pepper zero

So the packs arrived and I have chosen todays meals. I can do this!!!

 

[sunnyrae]

Yes you can!!! You will get lots of support from here. You deserve to do this for yourself you have been through a lot and sounds like you really need to start thinking about yourself and learning to love yourself . You can do it and you will!!!

 

[dawnthewitch]

wow, I am just waiting for my packs to arrive.... what a story, feels a bit like mine
we can lose and learn together and hopefully arrive a lot slimmer by summer
good luck to everyone, I am really scared, but excited at the same time
xxxx

 

[dawnthewitch]

thanks so much for sharing that.... I am waiting now for my packs to be delivered

I hope we can keep in touch and do well together, xx

Tail between my legs... I am back to Minis and have decided to give Exante a fair run. Im so fat and it is ruining my life. I dont get active with my kids, I have no energy and my husband is on the verge of leaving me as I wont sleep with him. A bit too honest maybe but I have to lay it all on the line now and get some real support.

I have tried everything at least twice and even have a band fitted. this is my 2nd attempt at Exante and I have to get some results. Its been a huge wake up call to know how serious my husband feels about the side effects of my weight and I fear it may be too late. Even if it is and I end up single, I dont want to be fat anymore. Im doing this for me but part of that is keeping my otherwise wonderful marriage. My husband has been patient enough. My kids have been patient enough. I have been a lazy lard ass!

My life is pretty stressful. Aside from being married with 3 kids, I am a full time uni student and a full time worker. I work in a childrens home and do 24/48 hour shifts for 10 days per month. I shouldnt have time to be eating the way I do!

I think the reason I am fat is because I was sexually abused as a child and later raped in my teens. I keep myself fat to protect myself and it is so deeply ingrained since childhood I am finding it almnost impossible to cope with. I have recently been diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety so am now medicated to the hilt. Its helping and now i feel more ready that ever to deal with all this weight.

so, after a light and breezy post thats me in a nutshell guys... all support hugely appreciated and I will give the same in return xxxxxx

 

[Karen]

lets do this together then dawn (my sisters name!) xxx

 

[Karen]

Im relying heavily on reading around the site to keep me out of trouble today. Ive just been shopping and bought a weeks worth of food for the family and some tescos meal replacement bars for myself. I am right in thinking I am allowed them, yes? I just ate half of a raspberry one and its very nice. Going to have the rest tonight with eastenders! so far so good... Im getting through it!

 

[Alex_1978]

Thanks for sharing your story Karen, and for being so candid and honest about your life.
I really do wish you all the best with Exante...you sound so determined, and determination is what helps us get results
How's your first day been?
x

 

[Karen]

Hi Alex,

Thanks for popping by Today has been good, Ive managed 3 litres of water and Im having my final pack now. I think I have done something wrong with this porridge cos its very watery! still, its been a good first day and I havent really been hungry. Ive packed my meals for my 48 hour shift and will be set for the next coupple of days.

Non-diet wise today has been pretty crap. Hubby has pretty much dashed my hopes of us sorting things out by giving me the old ' i love you but im not in love with you' bit. Im absolutely gutted but at the same time i know my worth and that I will be ok so I can handle the upset and get on with it. He is umming and ahhing about what he wants us to do but i know thats because he wants me to do the dirty work for him and take the decision out of his hands. no way am i doing it.... he can leave me properly and not push me to do it like a coward. Maybe Im wrong and he really doesnt know what he wants but Im not going to wait around... I'll get on with things and let him see to himself in the meantime. I love him dearly but Im no ones mug lol.

in other news, i have sorted out quite a bit of work i needed to do for uni and work so im happy with that. I even managed to get my daughter to football practice on time and cook dinner for the family. They've had sausage, mash and veggies that smelled devine!! Still.... being thin is going to be worth it. We go to Disney in October so I need to lose weight for that.

Good night minis. xxxx

 

[moomoo13]

Remember that you're losing weight for yourself and no one else.
Good night Karen, glad your first day went well for you x

 

[Karen]

Good Morning Minis and Moomoo,

you're absolutely right, im doing this because i am sick of all the rubbish that comes with being fat. with or without my husband, im getting slim and fab!

I had a good nights sleep and am ready and raring to go for day 2. I have to leave for work shortly and wont be home again until Friday morning but I have a stack of packs and am in the zone.

See you Friday Minis... hope everyone has a great couple of days xxxx