Kirsty's pregnancy and new Mummy diary- from 30 weeks onwards!

[pjallen1982]

-1.5lbs this week

Well done. Yet again another good loss x


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[Dougal1983]

Well done. Yet again another good loss x


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Thanks I've lost 8lbs in the last 2 weeks so an average of 4lbs a week, which I'm pretty chuffed with x

 

[Dougal1983]

So little man is off to his grandparents for the weekend tomorrow- our first child-free weekend!!
But I've got mixed feelings about it- on one hand, it'll be nice to have Paul to myself but I think I'd rather be with Oliver lol!
Things have been a bit strained lately, so this weekend will do us good but I'll really miss my boy ;(
However it's good practice for when I go back to work and Oliver will be staying overnight with his grandparents on a weekly basis.
He's really been teething badly this last week, sleep has been crap at night, naps have been non existent during the day, his cheeks look like they are on fire, he's been off his food and we've had many a 'poo-nami' incident!!
But still no teeth!
X

 

[Dougal1983]

Sorry for TMI but this is my diary and I just want to get some of my thoughts on here... As I've mentioned things between me and Paul have been rather strained lately.
Well tomorrow we are taking Oliver to Paul's parents to stay for the weekend.
Me and Paul are going out for dinner tomorrow night to celebrate 7 years together (on the 19th of this month).
Should be looking forward to it but I'm not. Dreading it, would rather be with my son.
Can already tell there'll be massive rows. Things have been brewing for a while but I don't want to fight in front of Oliver.
And also since Oliver was born, our sex life has been non-existent.
Paul joked that we'll have no excuses to not 'do it' this weekend- I knew my monthly was due and I was actually praying it would arrive for the weekend!!!
And it has, so I'm chuffed cos I have an excuse.
That's bad isn't it?
I've thought about leaving a lot lately but I couldn't break my family up.
Sigh xx


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[Sammielouise071]

I can relate to this and I'm sorry I don't have much advise as at times I have felt the same.
I think you just have to have a really good think and work out what is going to make you happy.
If you think it's worth fighting for then talk to him and explain how you are feeling but it's for Oliver's sake that you are trying to make it work then it would be a lot easier on him now than when he's old enough to understand.
I hope you are able to work it out either way ...xxx

 

[Pinknails2012]

Hope your ok x

 

[pjallen1982]

Oh hun ive only just read this. Sorry things haven't been great. How was the weekend in the end? Xxx


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[Dougal1983]

Thanks ladies xx

The weekend wasn't too bad, it was nice to have a bit of 'freedom' but it also proved that I don't 'miss' my pre-Oliver life!
I couldn't wait to see him and do his bath and read him a book and yesterday played with his toys, I love being a mummy so much
As for me and Paul... Well no rows but I think that's cos we both didn't want to ruin the weekend... We found it hard to have a conversation about anything other than Oliver and there was tension in the air...
We kept ourselves busy so that helped... Although I was sat in the bath on my own (I normally get in with Oliver) on Saturday evening crying my eyes out, mostly cos I missed Oliver and I felt lost...
The only conversation we had over the weekend that I can see causing some problems in the future is about letting the grandparents have Oliver at weekends once I'm back at work...
When I go back, Oliver will be at my parents on Tuesday evening into Wednesday and I'll pick him up after work and then he'll be at Paul's parents on Thursday evening into Friday.
So I'm reluctant to let him go at the weekends when he's already going to be out of the house 2 evenings a week as it is.
I told Paul well Tuesdays and Thursdays can be 'our' evenings together, or at least one. Let's take advantage of them rather than losing Oliver for another evening.
But Paul doesn't want that, he wants us to have a weekend together every month and I don't....
I don't really know what to do, I think we'll just keep plodding along...

Anyway 4 weeks tomorrow is my first day back at work and I'm dreading it... xx

 

[Dougal1983]

Food wise- it's been a mixed week, star week combined with a child free weekend meant I went off plan and enjoyed it!!
But I've been back on it since yesterday and so far my scales are only showing a 1/2lb gain which I'd be happy with, considering what I've eaten!
Hopefully a maintain will happen and then I've got nothing in my way until Paul's birthday next month.
I've got 5lbs to go until my 2st award and that I'd like before I return to work in 4 weeks time.
After that, it'll hopefully be straight on to my 2.5st award and then my 3st and Target!
Would like target before my holiday in early August so that's 6 months to lose 1st 5lbs (or 19lbs), should be very do-able esp with birthdays and Easter in the way xx

 

[Dougal1983]

-1.5lbs off this week and won 'Couple of the year' with my friend Anne- a couple of yummy mummies

 

[pjallen1982]

-1.5lbs off this week and won 'Couple of the year' with my friend Anne- a couple of yummy mummies

Ah well done! Wish I could get losing this flab! X


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[ksmiuk]

Well done on the loss and the award.
I'm sorry things are not so good with Paul.
I would not be happy about the night stop overs either. When it out of necessity fair enough. Maybe you could just do the weekend stop overs for special occasions.
I'm dreading Ben staying out the night. We've a wedding in May so unless something comes up that'll be the first time but I don't think either of us will relax.
Anyway I hope things improve, do what makes you happy! I have a 15 year old stepdaughter and her dad left when she was 9 but him and her mum were living separately ( in the same house) from when she was 2 and she will say it was miserable and she wished they'd have spit up sooner. Sorry rambling xx


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[PrincessPeach]

Hi hun x so sorry to hear things haven't been great with you and Paul.

Me and John have been through a bad patch recently too, pretty bad at times as well! Well, things all came to a head a couple of weeks ago where I basically told him to leave (deep down, I know I don't want that to happen - but he needed a shock) and since then, things have been a lot better. I'm not saying do that by the way, I'm just letting you know that we have been in the same boat. Since then though, we have had no arguments and John has been so much more supportive around the home and helpful with Amelia etc. He's also booked a weekend away to the New Forest for Valentines as we both agreed we needed some couple time.

It's very very easy to fall into the habit of just being "parents" when you have a child. Admittedly, we do still have sex but sometimes it's more like just "going through the motions because it's what you do" rather than having sex because we're a hot couple who love each other - if you know what I mean? But we definitely don't do anything as a couple, or even 'remember' that we are married, meant to be in love etc. I think a lot of relationships change after having children, so you're certainly not alone.

I'd arrange to sit down (with no arguments) and tell each other exactly how you're feeling. If you're anything like me aswell, sex can't just be "arranged" and also if you're feeling a little low in your relationship, it's difficult to enjoy anyway. Once the relationship is back on track - I'm sure the bedroom antics will follow naturally.

Definitely have a chat, and then plan to have a night where you are just a married couple, rather than being mum and dad.

I do know how you feel hun as I've been there recently. xxxxx

 

[Dougal1983]

Ah well done! Wish I could get losing this flab! X


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Thanks, its hard at times but I really want to do it so I will lol.

You've got a lot going on atm so it's understandable- once you're settled in your new house, things will fall into place xx

 

[Dougal1983]

Well done on the loss and the award.
I'm sorry things are not so good with Paul.
I would not be happy about the night stop overs either. When it out of necessity fair enough. Maybe you could just do the weekend stop overs for special occasions.
I'm dreading Ben staying out the night. We've a wedding in May so unless something comes up that'll be the first time but I don't think either of us will relax.
Anyway I hope things improve, do what makes you happy! I have a 15 year old stepdaughter and her dad left when she was 9 but him and her mum were living separately ( in the same house) from when she was 2 and she will say it was miserable and she wished they'd have spit up sooner. Sorry rambling xx


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Thanks x

I didn't like not having Oliver overnight one little bit but I've got to get used to it as it'll be happening on a weekly basis once I'm back at work x

 

[Dougal1983]

Hi hun x so sorry to hear things haven't been great with you and Paul.

Me and John have been through a bad patch recently too, pretty bad at times as well! Well, things all came to a head a couple of weeks ago where I basically told him to leave (deep down, I know I don't want that to happen - but he needed a shock) and since then, things have been a lot better. I'm not saying do that by the way, I'm just letting you know that we have been in the same boat. Since then though, we have had no arguments and John has been so much more supportive around the home and helpful with Amelia etc. He's also booked a weekend away to the New Forest for Valentines as we both agreed we needed some couple time.

It's very very easy to fall into the habit of just being "parents" when you have a child. Admittedly, we do still have sex but sometimes it's more like just "going through the motions because it's what you do" rather than having sex because we're a hot couple who love each other - if you know what I mean? But we definitely don't do anything as a couple, or even 'remember' that we are married, meant to be in love etc. I think a lot of relationships change after having children, so you're certainly not alone.

I'd arrange to sit down (with no arguments) and tell each other exactly how you're feeling. If you're anything like me aswell, sex can't just be "arranged" and also if you're feeling a little low in your relationship, it's difficult to enjoy anyway. Once the relationship is back on track - I'm sure the bedroom antics will follow naturally.

Definitely have a chat, and then plan to have a night where you are just a married couple, rather than being mum and dad.

I do know how you feel hun as I've been there recently. xxxxx

Thanks, its tough being a parent and a wife.
I'll admit I've been tempted to tell Paul I'm leaving, just to shock him, but I really don't know if it'll work and I just don't want to break my family up.

We've found it very hard to not be just parents, we've had a couple of 'date nights' but I haven't enjoyed them as I'd rather Oliver was with us...
It took us 6 months to have sex for the first time after Oliver was born and tbh I did it to get it over with as Paul was always making comments about the lack of sex. Then we had a little pregnancy scare and it's put me off, even tho I want a 2nd child, now is not the right time.
It's not that I don't fancy Paul, I just don't fancy sex. I've no interest in it at all...
Too scared of the outcome to have the 'chat' xx

 

[Dougal1983]

The 'Yummy Mummies' (me and Anne and our boys )

 

[Pinknails2012]

You look lovely defo yummy mummy x

 

[Dougal1983]

-1lb off this week!
2 weeks and 2.5lbs to my 2 stone award x

 

[Sammielouise071]

-1lb off this week! 2 weeks and 2.5lbs to my 2 stone award x

Well done you look fab xxx