Know what is YOU!


Cambridge Diet Counsellor
Recently I got a piece of news that bothered me, and it was actually really good news. It was about the success of someone I knew. Hearing about their success caused me to feel like a failure for a while. I felt I had got something wrong and that perhaps I should and could have done better by now. So I got a little fed up and started to think of why this was the case.

They have achieved an amazing degree of success in one area of their life but I realised that was not how I would want to live my life. The cost to other areas of their life has been high, too high for me anyway! As I look back over the same period of time, I realise I have had extraordinary success in most areas of my life but, on the surface, they don’t look to be as spectacular.

Sometimes when we measure ourselves by the accomplishments of others we judge ourselves harshly, but who are we really in competition with? Would I swap what they have achieved for what I have? Thinking about it, not a chance! If I look back I realise I am living a much better life than I was a few years ago. Now, I’m not saying I wouldn’t mind some of their success, but only if it fitted in with everything else I hold to be important. I will use them as an inspiration to me, both in their success and as a reminder of the different ways things can be done.

So, with a happy heart I congratulate them on their success and I’ll do the same to you for your achievements whatever they may be.

It’s good to know what you want, it’s great when you achieve them and it’s even better when you know you have achieved what you want in the way that’s right for you.

Are you comparing and judging yourself against the right standard?

That's a lovely post Diva and so true.

I have a good friend, who for years I was envious of, she was slim & gorgeous, had a brilliant career, plenty of money, drove a gorgeous car, nice clothes, etc, etc and was always jetting off around the world. At the time (this is going back about 10 years) I was a single mum, my daughter was only a toddler and I was strapped for cash and finding life challenging to say in the least. Compared to her, I felt such a failure, I was in my 30's with two failed marriages behind me and just had a part-time job to help make ends meet.

One night, we were having a real good heart to heart, over a glass of wine and during our conversation she said how lucky I was. I couldn't believe this, how could she I was lucky, she was the one with the fab lifestyle but as she pointed out I had the one thing she'd love to have, a child, simple as that. All the things she had, were surface, she struggled with relationships due to her work and she couldn't ever see herself settling down and having a family. It made me realise that being a success isn't just about the job that you do, or how much money you make. I was bringing up a child, on my own, and doing a damn good job too, if that's not success then what is. I also realised that if a Fairy Godmother arrived at that moment and asked if we wanted to swap lives, I'd say no of course, I wouldn't give up my daughter or what I had for anything and actually wouldn't want her lifestyle. But my friend? Well she might just have said yes.

10 years on, I'm very happily married, have a wonderful husband and my gorgeous girl is 12, beautiful, funny, clever and I'm so proud of her and proud of me too and what I have achieved. My friend still has the career and is now living with a guy, but has no children of her own, and in her 40's may not ever have what I have.
My brother is very successful in his own field. He's at the very top of his profession and very rich to go with it.

I'm also successful in my field. I'm pretty much at the bottom of my profession, and hardly flowing with cash.

My only problem over this is the thought that he may look down on me. Perhaps consider that I haven't worked hard enough (seeing he doesn't see me wouldn't know about the 100s of hours I put in), or that I manage money badly (which I certainly don't)

I am successful though and would change one bit. I'm reminded of a conversation with a Market Researcher in the street.

MR: If you could have any job in the world what would it be?
Me: A music teacher
MR: And what do you actually do?
Me: I'm a music teacher:)

I have had chances to move on, but I'm already 'there' in my mind. My aim was to be fantastic at what I do, not to rise up the ranks and be something else.

Unfortunately, our society ranks success with being on the top of the ladder and having money. It leaves people going through their lives dissatisfied instead appreicating what they have.

I have a great little story somewhere that would go well here. I'll see if I can find it.
Found it, but I'll put it on another thread. It's a bit long, but well worth the read.