Learning to Love Life!

Discussion in 'LL Diaries' started by Lind, 14 June 2010 Social URL.

  1. Lind

    Lind Is feeling the love!

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    Well, finally tomorrow I start on the food packs.
    I went to my first meeting two weeks ago then went on my holidays and I am back and going to my meeting tonight.
    I have read all I can, and I think I kind of know what to expect but I guess you never can tell untill you experience it for yourself.
    But oh my I think I am nervous about it. All the other diets I have been on I always kind of knew they wouldn't work or I would cheat. But I have this feeling this time that it's going to work. I have my head in the right space and I know that I am going to do this, and I think that is what is making me nervous.
    I can not wait!!!:)
     
    Last edited: 15 June 2010
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  3. Lind

    Lind Is feeling the love!

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    Well, my first meeting went well, I enjoyed it. I weighed more than I thought I did, but thats ok. I can live with that as I know I am now doing something right about it.
    I had my first pack this morning at 10am. I had a vanilla one, I put some coffee in it and made it hot. And I have to say it was lovely!!! I felt full and satisfied.
    My water drinking is going well, 2ltrs today so far. I am going to drink 4ltrs a day and I don't think it will be too much trouble. I am used to drink about 2-3 ltrs a day so I hope the extra wont be too much.
    My next food pack will be at 2pm and then one at 6pm and my last one at 10pm. I am treating it like taking antibiotics, has to be done at regular intervals and will make me better in the end!!!
    Strawberry next!!!!
     
  4. flexiblefish

    flexiblefish Full Member

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    nicely done and well done on getting through the first day.

    First few apparently are the worse for how you feel.

    Good luck and keep us posted.

    Still havent tried the vanilla and coffee idea. I have become set in my way and it's working so I doubt I will change now.

    good luck
     
  5. Lind

    Lind Is feeling the love!

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    Thanks FB!!! :) And I don't blame you about not changing your ways.

    Well, day two half way through with. I did well yesterday and finished the day proud of myself for getting through the headaches and the coldness.

    Had the porridge for my brekkie this morning, and I was surprised, I don't like normal porridge but this is actually nicer! I would say needs a little bit less than 140mls of water to make it a bit thicker but very nice to eat and no "cardboardy" aftertaste. Then I had the banana shake for lunch and I love that, and I love that it filled me up too.
    On the side affects side though, I still have a headache, and I am still freezing cold and tired but this morning my mouth was not good!!! My toungue was white and furry and I had an awful taste in my mouth!! It did go after I cleaned my teeth and used mouth wash but it was nasty.
    As for the hunger, I am ok today. there were a few wobbles this morning when I wanted something so bad I could smell it. But I put the washing out and reminded myself I want to be skinny.
    Still drinking the water and still weeing for Queen and Country!!!:8855:
     
  6. flexiblefish

    flexiblefish Full Member

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    yeah the porridge is like readybrek really (I think), I also like it thicker. When I (hopefully) get to RTM I will leave the porridge to the end to go.

    yup tired, headaches and feeling cold, well worth it in the end. Not heard about the tongue thing before, maybe more experienced folk have.

    I am off for more fluid in take, my productivity at work has gone down, im either in the gents or at the water cooler. terrible really.
     
  7. Lind

    Lind Is feeling the love!

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    FB!! The tongue thing is thrush!!! :8855::8855:
    But I know what you mean about the loo!! My God I have never wee'd so much in my life.

    Well, I can say that I do not like the vanilla shakes. I had one last night as my last food pack and I drank it down really quick not really thinking about it and as soon as I finished the after taste was awful!! It nearly came back but I drank quite a bit of water and all ended well.

    Headache is still here this morning but it is getting better.

    Went food shopping this morning for my son and hubby, and it was kind of like an outter body experience. I was ok getting the food, but it was the smells that were half killing me. I did'nt want anything and I knew that it wasn't real hunger because I had a food pack before I left. But I couldn't buy any bread because I couldn't go near the bakery bit. So the poor long suffering hubby is going to have to get some.
    All in all though the last 24 hrs have been ok, I have survived and this time tomorrow I will have had my first drop in and I will be nearly at the hill.
     
  8. Lind

    Lind Is feeling the love!

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    Oh My God!!!!! :eek: I had my frist drop in today, after just 3 days I have lost 11.5lbs!!!!!
    I am Oh soproud of myself!!!
    Also tried the bars and they are lovely, well apart from the toffee!! I don't like the savoury packs and I am going to stick to the shakes, porridge and bars.
    No headache today and feeling really really good.
    All I can say is that if anyone is reading this and wondering if it is for them then the answer is probably yes!!!
    The first few days are not fun but they are not really any worse than the first week of any other diet. The only difference with this one is that you feel amazing!!!
    The spell has been weaved, no breaking now!!! :)
     
  9. Lind

    Lind Is feeling the love!

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    Right, well I managed to get through the weekend! I kind of had to hibernate a bit though, so it was a good job the weather wasn't that good! lol

    For the last two years that I have been on one diet or another the weekends have always been bad. I had always cheated and had at least one of the days off. But this weekend I stayed abstinent.

    I cooked for my boys, and I will not lie and say it didn't bother me because it did. But the problem is I am not sure how it bothered me. It wasn't that I wanted to eat. But I felt on edge, sad, angry, stressed and a bit tearfull at the sight of it.

    It was alomost like I was mourning the loss of a close relationship. I was sad that I couldn't have it, but I was angry that my love of food had done this to me, then I got annoyed with my son because he was messing around with his food. (he is only three!) I faced it out and when meal time was over I was glad I did it. I suppose kind of like staying in the same place as your ex, you don't want to be there but you don't want him to think you are leaving because he affects you that much!

    Good bye bad eating habits....I THOUGHT I loved you so much. :p
     
  10. Lind

    Lind Is feeling the love!

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    End of my first week and I have survived. Which I am very pleased about, didn't have too many bad moments and I have stayed abstinent and stuck to my 4 ltrs a day.

    The result of being so good is a whoping 14lbs loss in my first week! :eek::D

    Needless to say I am very pleased with myself. But I know that kind of weight loss isn't going to be the same for the rest of the weeks. But on the other hand the hope it gives me huge. It was a light bulb moment, that I could see that yes this diet does work and if you do it 100% all of the time then you will get the results you want.

    My main aim now is to get to the middle of week three. With me I have always been good for the first 2 weeks and then I start to slip because I get complacent. So my task is to get through the next week and keep on going.
     
  11. Lind

    Lind Is feeling the love!

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    Today I learned a very important lesson!

    No matter how late you are if you are going to be out of the house all morning, HAVE A FOOD PACK!

    I din't have my porridge this morning before I went out because we got up late and it was my sons playgroup outing and I had said I would stay all morning. I thought I would be ok and that I would be able to just have two food packs when I got home.

    Well, it was so hot! I drank a lot of water and was ok while I was out, but by the time I got home I was seriously flagging.
    I drank another pint of water and had porridge and a shake. All it has done is make me feel crap. I have a headache and I am so tired.

    I am going out for the day on Saturday so no matter how late I make us I am having my food pack and taking lots and lots of water with me and a food bar.

    Angry with myself! :mad:
     
  12. flexiblefish

    flexiblefish Full Member

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    second that:

    I once forgot to take a pack to work and felt awful by tea time.

    Now when I collect my packs the next day 5 go in my draw so I can not forget.
     
  13. Lind

    Lind Is feeling the love!

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    FB it was a hard lesson to learn!
    Still feel crap and feel like I have no energy.
    I am a silly silly girl! :eek:
     
  14. slendablenda

    slendablenda Gold Member

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    Hi Lind.
    Yiu are not a silly girl. We learn as we go along.
    You have made a fabulous start. Congratulations - you must feel great. I can tell youhave already realised thatthis is not like any other diet you have ever been on. In fact I don'tthink of it as a diet. It's a way of changing my relationship with food and realsing that it was only me that got myself in that mess in the first place.
    One thing you realise quickly is that you are the one with the control here. You have it in your power to achieve whatever you want. Stick with it.
    About the shopping. I found it difficult too. Now I do my grocery shopping on the internet and have it delivered. I save the delivery cost money by not being tempted to buy extras. It releases so much time and I don't have to smell the bread. Amazingly it also works out cheaper. it has been a great success for me.
    Good luck with the rest of your LL journey.
     
  15. Lind

    Lind Is feeling the love!

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    Thanks Slendablenda. And yes you are right I have realised that this is very different from any other diet I have ever been on. I too am looking at this as a change in my relationship with food and as a way to gain control of my eating.

    I am looking forward to getting to my goals, and changing my life.
     
  16. Lind

    Lind Is feeling the love!

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    Well, today has been a fabulous day!

    Today has been the very first day that I have woken up full of energy and really happy. Normally most mornings I wake up either thinking about what I can eat or dreading the "diet" day ahead. But I have this lovely feeling of just being happy, the only time I am thinking about food is for my boys and I am even sneaking a few healthy foods into thier diets and they don't even realise!!!

    What I did forget to say was that on Monday when I went to see my LLC for weigh in and the counselling she gave us all a recipe sheet. I didn't take mine home with me, I just felt like making things like crisps was just defeating the whole idea and it's just finding a way of going back to bad habits. I'm not saying that is the way for everyone but I know it is for me. I know that if I made the crisps then I would start with that little voice and before I knew it I would be eating normal food.

    I just want to be 100% all of the time and stick the packs in the form they are meant to be in.
     
  17. Lind

    Lind Is feeling the love!

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    Well, if today was a fab day then I think today is the tired day that follows. I think another lesson learned is of you are going to be busy for a whole day then you will have to take it easy the next day. I feel a bit light headed and a bit rumbly in the tummy! (sorry if too much ifo! ;))
    I have another busy day tomorrow, but the day after that I am planning to have a nice lazy day at the beach.
    Yesterday I got myself some lovely Clarins body oil, it has been specially designed for people that are on an intensive weight loss programme and those who are pregnant. I have started using it this morning and it feels lovely and leaves no oily residue. It's nice to have a bit of luxury and feel like you are do more positve things for yourself.
     
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  19. Laraa

    Laraa Member

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    Well done Lind! keep up the fantastic work! x
     
  20. flexiblefish

    flexiblefish Full Member

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    dont let it put you off.

    Keep active and the weight will ease away a bit faster.

    keep it up
     
  21. Lind

    Lind Is feeling the love!

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    Oh what a weekend!

    I had my step daughter and her fella to stay for the weekend!!

    Troubling times, as neither of them are small and they both like their food. I did say to hubby that I would not cook and they would have to fend for themselves. They do nothing, and usually I spend the weekends when they come down cooking and clearing up. And I just felt that if I do that now while I am abstinent that I am basically making myself their skivvy.
    We were out for the day on Saturday, which was lovely. Lots of walking up and down hills! But Saturday night they had a take away and a few beers. Then they sat and ate the lot in front of me!
    I can handle my hubby eating in front of me and my son needs my help, I don't even think about that. But they had so much food from the take away and they couldn't eat it all. it wasn't that I was tempted but I felt sad and angry and it was directed at myself. I was feeling it because I wasn't involved, and I sat there with a shake thinking this was crap. Then my step daughter starts trying to get me eat!!!! It started with little comments like "oh aren't you so good for sticking to it." To all out "these **** are so yummy I don't know how you are coping with the smell let alone anything else."
    Luckily enough my hubby stepped in and said he was really proud of me and he thought I was doing so well, and he said he thought I was really strong. it shut her up but by then I was fuming! I wasn't going to eat, it hadn't even occured to me that I would. But I was so angry that there I was feeling sorry for myself because I couldn't join in to being angry that my step daughter was trying to get me to eat.
    I was very proud of myself for staying cool and eventually after my hubby and I had explained to her how important this was to me she stopped trying to get me to eat. I don't think she understands and I also think there is some jealousy there too. But at the end of the day we won't be seeing her again untill the end of August so by then the results of my hard word will be more than visible.
     
  22. hanmac

    hanmac Getting her sparkle back

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    Well done for resisting Lind! And good on your hubby for sticking up for you, must be nice knowing you have his support :)
    I know what you mean when people start offering you food, I think other people have more of an issue with us not eating 'normal food' than we do!
    Just look forward to seeing your step daughter in August!
    I have to see my ex at the end of the year (we used to work together, I moved company, and now our companies are going to work together!) and am really looking forward to seeing the look on his face when he sees me again!! :D
     
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