**Lisa's "determined to do it this time" diary!** 100th restart....

Discussion in 'Cambridge Weight Plan' started by lisalulu, 10 June 2009 Social URL.

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  1. lisalulu

    lisalulu Silver Member

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    Hi everyone.

    I've been a bit of a lurker recently, nothing more than an odd post here or there. I've been having a tough time, not with the diet but other emotionally draining stuff. Ashamed to say this culminated in a mini binge in the middle of the night a few nights ago- I actually involuntarily brought it all back up cause my stomach just couldn't handle it. Even though I was straight back on track the next morning, I haven't really posted since then, I've felt like a bit of a fraud. Why can't I just get my head around the diet properly and stop falling off the wagon whenever something rocks the boat??

    My family have decided they disagree with me doing the diet, which totally shocks me. My mum is really hard to deal with and is constantly telling me I look pale and ill, she even said she thought I was teaching my girls bad eating habits. I don't understand this at all, surely me dealing with my weight and then learning new, better eating habits for myself and the whole family is better than takeaways and snacking? Luckily my h2b Sam is very very supportive, I don't think I could do it without him (and you guys on here too :))

    One of the reasons I'm doing CD, apart from the obvious health and vanity, is I am chief bridesmaid for my sister on the 19th September. We were lucky enough to find a bridal shop which would order 2 dresses for me so that I could get the best fit possible. I'm going to have my fitting on August 27th and was hoping to be in a 14...... I'm not sure that will happen now and I'm beginning to panic. As ashamed as I am to admit it, I've adopted a 'I'm not going to get there, so why bother even trying' attitude. Add onto this the fact that my CDC is away getting married for 4 weeks, I feel like there is no retribution for my bad eating. Its a ridiculous attitude, because it really doesn't matter to my CDC if I lose, gain or STS, the only person it matters to is me.

    I'm kinda rabbiting on now aren't I? I just need a really HUGE kick up the behind. :copon:
     
    Last edited: 1 September 2009
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  3. Katycakes

    Katycakes Stubborn tortoise

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    You will get into that dress... if you believe you can! Has to be better than believing you CAN'T, right? And the power of the mind is a brilliant thing. I can see how the lack of support is getting to you, but this about you... and you know it works and that you can do it. I think when you've had a few wobbles it can be hard to stay on track, but make today the 1st 100% day and build on it, day by day... the weight will go.

    I'd suggest working on the reasons behind the binge-impulse, too... that is the really important stuff, but CD is a great time to address those issues. Big hugs Lisa, you can DO it!!!!!

    xxx
     
  4. Mia

    Mia Skinny girl in a fat body

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    :asskick: I'll give you one:D

    Lisa, what's done is done - nothing we can do about it. You don't have a crap attitude, you are getting back on the wagon and TRYING, not giving in. I can't understand people's attitudes sometimes. We all experience it at some time or other on this diet - peoples opinions on something they dont really know about. You mother is just worried about you - that's all. Like I said in my text the other night, I think its becasue you haven't been well recently and she's worried. If I were you I would just continue with the plan and just dont mention it. Just do your own thing. The important person - Sam - is on your side (and us).

    You've got loads of support here and you know you can text me anytime. Your title says it all, you WILL get into that dress, if only to prove it to your mam ;)
     
  5. JimmyShoo

    JimmyShoo Silver Member

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    Lisa Lisa Lisa honey first of all ignore the comments from your mum. I haven't told anyone but hubby what i am doing,though my Mum would support me. Firstly you need to shake this negativity and bloomin show them you mean business. Use this site as you CDC until she returns hon and push yourself that little bit more and you will succeed.

    My new moto is "MIND OVER FATTER"

    Muchas lovas and lots of slimming feelings sent to you hon xxx
     
  6. lisalulu

    lisalulu Silver Member

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    Thanks for your replies ladies.

    I'm already feeling much more positive today, which is why I was brave enough to start a thread for myself. Silly eh? I was actually worried about writing down how I felt cause it meant I would have to start dealing with it :( I'm not sure what has happened with my Mum, she was so supportive at first. I think you could be right Mia, after being so ill last month I think she blamed CD. Think she may also be a little jealous as she is obese herself and my loss is starting to show....

    I would love to explore the reasons that I binge Katy, there are so many of them that its hard to pin down just one. I really wouldn't know where to start.



    Oh and Mia, that kick REALLY hurt ;)
     
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  7. Lexie_dog

    Lexie_dog UNLEASHING THE BEAST!

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    no kick required. To err is human, I can't really offer much advice beyond get back on track and set a mini target, as I've been struggling recently too, I think we all need that wee boost of saying "done it" before we move on to the big picture.

    AYE, and show us a picture of your dress!

    And who needs family support, tsh, you only live with them and they sleep 8 hours a day. We're here nearly all the time ;)
     
  8. INTHESUMMEROF69

    INTHESUMMEROF69 Full Member

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    Hi

    Now I know LL is more money but this could be the answer , as you said there about your CDC is not going to be there maybe deep down you think . ho well she can't care because she is away , also mum is getting you down , now at LL group meeting they will help with this , but you pay for it ... if you have the money I would think hard about this . it is about 66 a week .
    But I think this will work for you
     
  9. Greeneyes11

    Greeneyes11 Gold Member

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    Hi Lisa, have you thought about finding another CDC who would be happy to weigh you and keep you on track until your original one comes back, may also help you to lose this weight as the new CDC wont know you and will "expect" you to lose weight each week, so may be the kick you need to stop the bingeing....

    Dont worry about your mum, she is probably jealous, she was probably fine with it at the beginning, thinking that it would never work, but now she can see a difference in you, it is hitting home that you will look good for the wedding and she wont look as good.... stick to the diet and you will definately fit into that dress, take a week at a time, that is what I am doing at the moment, me and CDC are reviewing weightloss each week and I am taking following week from there.... good luck and you will get there, dont listen to these other people, or the binge voices in your head.
     
  10. lisalulu

    lisalulu Silver Member

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    Thanks for the replies again ladies.

    I did consider LL before CD, and although I can afford it, I would feel guilty spending so much money each week when we're trying to move to a bigger house and plan a wedding. I'm not sure I would get much use out of the counselling sessions, I find it hard to open up to people, even now the majority of my life is shared with only my best buddy and my fiance. I'll see as time goes on how I cope, but thanks for the suggestion.

    Another brilliant idea Greeneyes, but I would have to travel about 40 minutes to get to another CDC. I'm going to think up some mini-goals for myself and keep up with this diary as much as possible. I've got enough packs to last me 6 more weeks, so I'm not losing anything by plowing on with it am I?
     
  11. lisalulu

    lisalulu Silver Member

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    Wednesday 10th June

    Feeling quite upbeat today. I think starting this thread has been a weight off my chest, it doesn't bother me if it bores anyone, it wouldn't bother me if nobody replies. This is going to be my alternate head space, a place to evaluate my mood, feelings and actions. Sooo....

    Managed 1 litre of water already, not bad considering I wasn't out of bed until 11am. Bless Sam for giving me a lie in. Haven't been sleeping very well, some nights I'm worn out, others I'm wide awake. However I feel, it seems to take me hours to drop off. I think the 'no sleep' issue has helped the negativity creep in over the recent weeks, so I'm going to make a concerted effort to relax, unwind and have plenty of early nights this week.

    Need to set myself some mini goals, but I just can't think of any.... Shall report back later with how the afternoon goes
     
  12. Julie Williams

    Julie Williams Silver Member

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    ((((((()))))))))Thought hugs would do you more good than a kick my dear. This is the hardest diet in the world and we all deserve a blinking medal for deciding to go on it in the first place and you should consider every day you stick to it a goal of its own, we all stumble along the way but as long as you can see that dress on the horizon im sure you will reach it in time. So glad you have such a support in Sam too it does help lots.xxx
     
  13. Jessica Rabbit72

    Jessica Rabbit72 Gold Member

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    just to echo what weveryone else has said really and I have missed you Lisa -

    There is a definite theme going on here - as there are quite a few of us falling off the wagon for one reason or another (and all very valid) but Julie is right - each day is an achievement in itself and you need to take it one day at a time.

    I can completely understand your logic of not getting weighed so think its a good idea about another CDC - I know its 40 mins away, but would she come to you by any chance instead as I know you have children and that can be difficult.

    I will love to read your dairy and will help support you as much as I can.

    I lost some weight for my wedding but hadnt found CD at that point wish I flipin had I tell you. Even though yes I felt great I could have felt better if I was lighter and I wouldnt want that for any bride.

    My mate Julie (the one who posted above ) lost 5st (doing CD) for her wedding and looked absolutely stunning and I wish so much I had done CD for mine too.

    You have enough time to get to where you want to be for your wedding and as Katy cakes says what you believe will happen will happen - I now have it in my siggy courtesy of Icemooses motivational newsletters. I have saved them all on a word document if you want me to email them to you I can and that may help also.

    sending you big hugs -YOU CAN DO THIS ! and we will support you all the way
    Love
    Jess
    xxx
     
  14. lisalulu

    lisalulu Silver Member

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    Thanks for the replies Jess and Julie.

    I am 100% positive I can be at goal for my wedding and I'm 90% sure I can be in that size 14 dress for my bridesmaid duties. Positive Mental Attitude!!

    Been 100% today, just finishing my third 750ml bottle of water, but have also has some peppermint tea so I'm fine with the water. Had a porridge for tea, will have a hot choc mint shake and a bar in bed for supper. Week 3 weigh in would have been today, my scales are showing 1lb off but I'm sure its more. We'll see next week when I (hopefully) lose the water I'm retaining.

    I'm going to look into some sort of counselling/therapy for my food addiction and binge eating compulsion- not really sure where to begin but its something I desperately want and need to do. I found an online food addiction questionaire, and whilst I know this sort of thing should be taken with a pinch of salt, I answered 'yes' to all but one question. Kinda scary to think I might have 'issues' but nice to know there is something I can do about it.

    On a more positive note, Sam, being the sweetheart that he is, bought me a new mug to have my hot shakes in... its HUGE so I can have them with extra water. How sweet is that? He also bought me a few magazines, one came with a free Benefit mascara! Gotta love it when your man is willing to look after you. Kids will be home from my in laws any time and he is going to put them in bed so I can chill out with a big shake, a bar and a mag or two! How lucky am I?
     
  15. shopaholic_nikki

    shopaholic_nikki Full Member

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    Wow sounds like you have a great guy there! Glad you are sounding more positive today, keep it up and you WILL get there!

    Nikki
     
  16. lisalulu

    lisalulu Silver Member

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    Teehee, I do agree. He's certainly a 'keeper' :p
     
  17. shopaholic_nikki

    shopaholic_nikki Full Member

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    I noticed that we both started at similar weights and at about the same time and we both have the same target weight....so you can be my inspiration to keep me going too!! Hope you don't mind!!
     
  18. lisalulu

    lisalulu Silver Member

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    Yay, a diet buddy! Always up for a bit of healthy competition and a supportive shoulder to cry on ;)
     
  19. Reject Doll

    Reject Doll Full Member

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    I retained water in my first few days and put ON 8lbs even though 100%SS. I had to have a day where I drank 6 litres over 17hours but it worked and I can't wait for my weigh in tomorrow so my CDC sees the difference. Up your water intake to tell your body it doesn't have to store any and you will suddenly lose a few lbs. I have not had to drink that amount since though luckily!
     
  20. curlywurly1234

    curlywurly1234 Cambridge Consultant

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    Lisa,
    Hon just wanted to say STICK with it hon!! Your doing so well and YOU WILL get into that size 14 dress.. You really well.. Be positive and you will do it hon.. I really know you will, Im right behind you..
    Hang in there and I know Sam is there for you and dont worry about your mum, mums can say the wrong thing sometimes.
    Chin up your doing great x
     
  21. lisalulu

    lisalulu Silver Member

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    Well I'm off to bed, happily able to report a 100% day :) Thanks again for your kinds words and support ladies.
     
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