Aw thanks... it's weird how it takes something like that after a wobble to make you stop and see how far you have actually come. And my head still didn't accept I was a 12 even though I knew my old stuff no longer fitted... have been wearing some vintage dresses from long ago for work stuff, and when at home just slopping around in skirts that hang round my hips and size 16 vest tops (worn AS vests when I was a 16/18 as I'd never have allowed skin to show) & billowing jumpers. And those are the ones that are from my smaller days, but I can see they look silly. Anyway, the Boden stuff is a real boost. I need to pack up the last of the big stuff and give it away.
Another reward today... for first time in 3 weeks, scales are under 11st. Only just, but they are. So 4lbs-ish lost, and now it feels more possible that I can get to ultimate goal of 10st 7. And then STAY there. Not seeing CDC till next thurs, so won't adjust any stats until then.
And the biggest reward of all is the feeling that I CAN do it, CAN make all of this work, which comes from yesterday's GOOD eating day. And has set scene for a good day today, which feels much less daunting. So that is good. I won't be complacent as I am working in Edinburgh all Sat & Sun & will be off plan for that, as there is a work dinner sat night, a lunch Sunday & a 'coffee & cakes' sat afternoon. I will not be scared of it though, will eat sensibly and not lose the plot. And monday, back to plan.
I think if I am looking for what I have learned from last weeks binge/wobble it is that as long as you stay in the fight, keep caring, keep resisting, you will get through to the other side of whatever the binge demons might throw at you. It's that staying in the fight that counts. And if that means lots of angst and panic and asking for help, well, better than running away to bury my head in the sand and self-medicate with chocolate for the next 40 years.
No contest.
xxx
x
