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massive binge. feel sick. hate myself.

#1
morning/afternoon = good. had a colonic irrigation and felt really light and cleansed.

teatime/evening = bad. had massive binge. 2 tubs ben&jerrys and chinese takeaway.

now so full i feel sick. i hate myself so much.

why i am my own worst enemy.

do something good for myself then self-destruct to undo the good.

i don't understand. i'm full of self-hatred.

why do i sabotage any attempts to nuture myself.

:cry:
 
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DQ

Queen of the Damned
#2
Oh honey, sending you mega :hug99: Got no answers for you, although I have heard that after a colonic you can feel very empty and extra hungy. Chin up mate, and start again x
 

Sez

has started again!!
#3
No no no..... do not hate yourself!! We are all human,and all make mistakes. Thats got be why most of us are here anyway. These bad habits are learned over oa long period of time, and it will take time to unlearn and put new ones in their place. You must not beat yourself up over it.

I am sure you are a fabulous person, never lose sight of that, will you?

Think, instead of "I've blown it now.", "I am NOW back on track, I will be back in ketosis soon and I can do this."

We all care, and I know you can do this!!

Hey....if I can, trust me, ANYONE can!

love Sez
xx
 

AmandaJayne

Trainee Maintainer
#4
Oh Sal, I can feel your anger and frustration and hate against yourself.

"...hate myself so much..."

But it is what you did that you hate surely, not yourself?

Label the action not the person.

why i am my own worst enemy.

You don't think you are worth it.

do something good for myself then self-destruct to undo the good.

Are you afraid to succeed? (Opens up scary new responsibilities and choices). Or afraid to fail? (I may as well fail on my own terms, so here goes).

i don't understand. i'm full of self-hatred.

Yeah, I empathise with that. What are you core-beliefs? You know, the feelings about yourself in relation to the world and people around you (i.e. I am rubbish at maths..., I am not worth anything ..., I don't have any fashion sense..., I am fat and lazy ..., I am a stupid individual ..., I always fail..., I will never be slim ...)


why do i sabotage any attempts to nuture myself.

Because it is better the devil you know ...

Change is frighening... the unknown is frightening... moving out of our comfort zone (no matter how miserable) is even more scary.

I've been there Sal ... for a long, long time. But at the moment I've moved to a better place and I am determined to stay here.

I am sorry you are in a bad place just now:wave_cry: but there is hope for the future. I hope my comments have helped!
 

Steph

Full Member
#7
No no no..... do not hate yourself!! We are all human,and all make mistakes. Thats got be why most of us are here anyway. These bad habits are learned over oa long period of time, and it will take time to unlearn and put new ones in their place. You must not beat yourself up over it.
Totally agree with Sez. Put it down as a bad day and start again tomorrow :hug99:
 

Kath

Water water everywhere
#8
:hug99: Some very wise words already on this thread I can't add to them but wanted to send you a hug and let you know people do understand.

Pick yourself up and dust yourself down, start afresh :)
 

katie_oxo

Silver Member
#9
Sal, I'm sorry I haven't been doing this long enough to know how you're feeling right now but I do feel for you - please remember there is always tomorrow and what's happened to today has happened now but you can do differently tomorrow (((hugs)))

Cath
 

Janey

Intuitive Eater
#10
Don't hate yourself Sal!! :patback:

We're all human and we have all experienced times like this.

Tomorrow is a new, fresh day and I know you will have a wonderful one. :)
 
#11
The past is history hun, its done, gone, the future is forward, dont look back x
 
#12
I don't think there can be an overweight person alive on this planet who hasn't done this at some time or another.

I know I've done it plenty!!!

As others have said - ffs, don't beat yourself up about it. If you feel angry with yourself, it's such a negative emotion that you will want to comfort eat again tomorrow. And the next day.

Put it down to just being a human being and shake off the self-hatred. You're not unusual - you are just like the rest of us.

Start again tomorrow and glug water like a fish!!!

You'll be fine.

xxxxxxxxxxxxx
 
#13
big big hugs hon.

we all learn from mistakes - thats the way you succeed in life.

keep on going...you'll do it!!!
 
#14
Aww Sal,

Try to pick yourself up and get back on it tommorrow. I know how hard it is, but you can do it. Make sure you post in here and let us know how you are doing...

Good luck :hug99:
 
#16
thank you ladies you are all so kind and i know you can relate to the things i said. still feel sick this morning as a reminder of yesterday but will drink loads and loads to try and flush it all away. it's weird because i felt so positive last week but now i just feel like crap (which tbh is how i normally feel).
someone slap me!! make me snap out of it!! :whoopass:
 
S: 14st6lb C: 14st6lb G: 9st3lb Loss: 0st0lb(0%)
#17
Hi Sal

Don't beat yourself up about it, fresh day fresh start.

This is going to have it's tough moments and you will get through it, the support on here is great so we will all help you through it - we are all in the same boat.

Good luck for today

x
 
#18
Today is a new day and you will be 100% abstinent! Sometimes this is all very difficult, but I know that you will manage to get back on the wagon and reach your shiny goal.

Sending many hugs
 
#20
How you doing? Have you managed to write it off & move on or are you still struggling with feeling guilty? Hope you have managed to dust yourself off & start afresh...
 


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